First of all I'm not a gold digger and never will i be.To make it more clearly I will share my life a little bit. I met my husband when he was broke and we dated for years before he got a job.We were in college plus two years of job searching I was there with him. I stayed with him because I got to understand he is so generous,selfless and caring despite being broke. He tried his best whenever he got some money and thank God I was a little bit comfortable i didn't ask him for a thing.He never told me of his situation either but I knew it my ways. Now that we both earn for a living we still free with each other money.
Before him I was dating a stingy man, through him I was able to know these stingy men behaviour. And I saw a lot of them here very proud with their behaviour.Let me tell you this, women feel safe and comfortable around a caring man.If a man help you in any way you feel loved and appreciated and if he is keeping distance that means he don't value you.
I will use my stingy ex as case study here.He was a doctor and worked in different region from mine.I never received money or gift from him until we broke up.
I learned these few characters of stingy men from him.
* They hate strong communication like talking ,texting he used to text me when horny and talk about sex only. Due to this kind of communication I never get to know him better. It was not possible to share our life like our struggle,achievement as we know through these stories you may find out my spouse need help( not only money it may be a piece of advise).
*They pretend not to be jealousy. They don't seem to be jealousy because they know they provide nothing even if he will see you driving a new car while you are jobless he will only congratulate you without questioning.
*They try to justify their act by saying it's weak for a real man to take care of their girlfriend (They talk this with other people) . Which is not true and most men old enough, like married men knows this and hope they will agree with me here. That's why there are some girls dating old men/married men because men their age don't take responsibility(Although I don't support the habit).
*They don't feel ashamed to split the bill while you two are out. I was so surprised when my ex asked me to add the remaining amount of money for the bill.I did pay the money but I decided to broke up with him.I strongly believe a closed fist is a closed heart.
* They don't share they are hardiship with you even if you ask them, because they want you to do the same.They are not ready to help.
* They don't seem to dominate the relationship.Its true if you have money you become powerful at some ways.This too happen in relationship if you want to own your woman you have to be responsible for her. If you are not responsible you won't feel the ownership.
* They assume you have enough money even if you don't work. I remember this ex texting me every weekend showing me pics of how he is enjoying out on hotels,clubs etc. I was replying kiunyonge
"Hope you are having funny" hapo sina mia nina kakifurush tu cha chuo (university Offer).
He will say " yes it's funny here ..unajua inabid mtu kutoka mara nyingi kupumzisha ubongo"
I be like yeah it's true.
yeye atasema sasa "Why are you staying indoors it's weekend, you should go out "
I will just tell him "i will do next time".There after i will loose my sleep and start to evaluate him like is he okay or what.It is so heartbreaking to be struggling financially while in relationship with a man who is stable.
To shorten the story we broke up later due to his stingy behaviour.Five years later now, he still not married on his late 30.
So guys here don't entertain that habit it real turns off majority of women who are not even after man money.We just need to be pampered like kids by our boyfriend/husband .We like someone who is selfless and caring. Thank you and hope that you people change and start to act as responsible men to your relationship and see how things turn out to be beautiful.
NB: I want to apologize to any grammar , spelling mistakes made here because I'm learning this language..I will gladly receive corrections to those mistakes for my improvement.
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