A thin line between Rape and Love Making

Hebu tujuzane wajameni,...

• It isn't rape if she didn't try to stop it. it is not Rape if you Enjoyed it!
• You didn't actually try to stop him but asked him to stop a few times. ... she told him to stop...but it felt good!
• Is it rape if a woman said "yes" previously? If during sex she realizes that he isn't wearing condom and asks him to stop having sex?

Nini tafsiri unayoielewa ya 'RAPE' (Kubakwa/kubaka!) ?
Nimeweka mifano mitatu hapo juu kujaribu ku stimulate mawazo na michango kutokana na incidents mbali mbali mlizowahi kukutana nazo, otherwise...nahisi kama wengi tunaingia kwenye fungu la tuliowahi kubaka, na wa'wake kubakwa!

Fikiria, baada ya kilevi kumkolea, ukaivunja amri ya sita na Mlimbwende.
Baada ya akili kumrudia, anakwambia umembaka!

FYI - you should not be calling this a rape unless the "victim" is ready to reframe the incident (then you can start calling it rape) -




Fikiria; Unagundua Mkeo/Fiancee/Girlfriend ame cheat. kwenye utetezi wake kwako anakwambia hakufanya kwa hiari yake (alibakwa!) ...Utachukua hatua gani? mfano;

• kumezea ili kuficha aibu
• ku report police ili sheria ichukue mkondo wake
• kumsamehe, kwani halikuwa kosa lake, au...
• kuachana nae, umeshindwa kumuamini

...WHERE IS THE LINE? ...

wengi wanabaka na wengi wanabakwa...
pasipokuwa na hiyari tayari umebaka/bakwa.
unaweza kuwa na mkeo akakwambia leo sijiskii, ila kwa kuwa ni mumewe ukaamua tu kumuingilia..hapo tayari umebaka hata kama atainjoi.

Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.

itnojec said:

wengi wanabaka na wengi wanabakwa...
pasipokuwa na hiyari tayari umebaka/bakwa.
unaweza kuwa na mkeo akakwambia leo sijiskii, ila kwa kuwa ni mumewe ukaamua tu kumuingilia..hapo tayari umebaka hata kama atainjoi.

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itnojec said:

Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.

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...Nice one itnojec. Hapo kwenye ndoa pagumu sana.
Hapo ndipo wengi wanapobakwa bila kujitambua, au wanajitambua lakini wanamezea.
Rape ya kwenye ndoa, au Rape nje ya ndoa...ipi inaathari zaidi kwa mhusika?

Mh!Lakini ni...Aah ngoja nilale kwanza!

Mbu said:

Fikiria; Unagundua Mkeo/Fiancee/Girlfriend ame cheat. kwenye utetezi wake kwako anakwambia hakufanya kwa hiari yake (alibakwa!) ...Utachukua hatua gani? mfano;

• kumezea ili kuficha aibu
• ku report police ili sheria ichukue mkondo wake
• kumsamehe, kwani halikuwa kosa lake, au...
• kuachana nae, umeshindwa kumuamini

...WHERE IS THE LINE? ...

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Nimeshindwa kuondoka kapa baada ya hio statment kunifurahisha.... For the above paragraph naona in apply kwa wakaka...

• It isn’t rape if she didn’t try to stop it. it is not Rape if you Enjoyed it!

In other words that statement means wanawake ambao hawafikishwi katika a climax stage wanakua wamebakwa??? ,,,lol,,,

Hili swala ni tata sana vile kuna matukio mengi hutokea kuhusiana na ubakaji..asante kwa mada hii, nitarudi kwa maelezo zaidi!!

Tukiangalia ubakaji kwa undani zaidi alafu tukaamua kwamba hata kama mtu alikuwepo eneo la tukio kwa ridhaa yake na kwa sababu ya kufanya tendo alafu baadae akabadili mawazo ila mwenzake akalazimisha mpaka ikatokea ni kitendo cha ubakaji kutakua na victim wengi sana.Kwa wanandoa nadhani kutumia neno ubakaji mmoja anapokua hataki na mwingine anataka sio sahihi sana.Maana kitendo cha kua ndani ya ile ndoa tayari kinahalalisha yanayotokea mle ndani as long as hatolewi mtu manundu.Muhimu ni yule anaejisikia kufikiria hisia za mwenzake tu....ila akishindwa kufanya hivyo akakimbilia kujiridhisha yeye bila kumjali mwenzake atakua hajamtendea haki tu ila sio amembaka.

Binafsi ubakaji ambao naweza kuusimamia kidete haki itendeke ni ule ambao mhisika ALIKUA HAJITAMBUI....ALIKAMATWA KWA NGUVU....NI MINOR....ALIENDA SEHEMU BILA KUKUSUDIA KUFANYA TENDO ILA AKALAZINISHWA!! Matukio yanayobaki hata mmbakaji anaweza kujitetea kwa
maana ya kwamba kulikua na makubaliano hivyo hajatenda kosa!

Asha D said:

Nimeshindwa kuondoka kapa baada ya hio statment kunifurahisha.... For the above paragraph naona in apply kwa wakaka...

• It isn’t rape if she didn’t try to stop it. it is not Rape if you Enjoyed it!

In other words that statement means wanawake ambao hawafikishwi katika a climax stage wanakua wamebakwa??? ,,,lol,,,

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...Asha D, nadhani hiyo statement ya Enjoyment is not Rape inaweza kuwa Objectional au Overruled wakati wa Cross Examination mahakamani. Ukiisoma vizuri mada, kuna mahala nimeandika, It is Not Rape until the woman claims it!!! ...PHEEEWWW!

Lizzy said:

Tukiangalia ubakaji kwa undani zaidi alafu tukaamua kwamba hata kama mtu alikuwepo eneo la tukio kwa ridhaa yake na kwa sababu ya kufanya tendo alafu baadae akabadili mawazo ila mwenzake akalazimisha mpaka ikatokea ni kitendo cha ubakaji kutakua na victim wengi sana.

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...enhe!...pale wote wawili mmeshabakia kama mlivyozaliwa na mshamaliza 99.9% ya maandalizi halafu mwenzako anakwambia NO!

Lizzy said:

Kwa wanandoa nadhani kutumia neno ubakaji mmoja anapokua hataki na mwingine anataka sio sahihi sana.Maana kitendo cha kua ndani ya ile ndoa tayari kinahalalisha yanayotokea mle ndani as long as hatolewi mtu manundu.Muhimu ni yule anaejisikia kufikiria hisia za mwenzake tu....ila akishindwa kufanya hivyo akakimbilia kujiridhisha yeye bila kumjali mwenzake atakua hajamtendea haki tu ila sio amembaka.

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...Ngojea TAMWA wakusikie. Wenzako wanapinga unyanyasaji "wewe unahalalisha!"
Anyway, kunyimana unyumba ndani ya ndoa ni mojawapo ya sababu inayokubalika mhusika mmoja wapo kudai talaka.

Lizzy said:

Binafsi ubakaji ambao naweza kuusimamia kidete haki itendeke ni ule ambao mhisika ALIKUA HAJITAMBUI....ALIKAMATWA KWA NGUVU....NI MINOR....ALIENDA SEHEMU BILA KUKUSUDIA KUFANYA TENDO ILA AKALAZINISHWA!!
Matukio yanayobaki hata mmbakaji anaweza kujitetea kwa maana ya kwamba kulikua na makubaliano hivyo hajatenda kosa!

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Nice one Lizzy, Tatizo sheria inatuambia NO means NO.
Hata kama kulikuwa na makubaliano ya awali. No wonder mpaka hivi leo
Mwanaume anapokuwa kwenye point of no return, "No!" can mean anything...!

Mbu said:

...Asha D, nadhani hiyo statement ya Enjoyment is not Rape inaweza kuwa Objectional au Overruled wakati wa Cross Examination mahakamani. Ukiisoma vizuri mada, kuna mahala nimeandika, It is Not Rape until the woman claims it!!! ...PHEEEWWW!

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Umeona sasa jinsi issue ilivyo complicated??? Asilimia kubwa ya wanawake they have been raped in their life time but ile ku admit ndo inakua shida, maana anae ku rape si lazima akuvamie njian... anaweza kua hata boyfriend but mmekubaliana kua mnasubiri kwanza kuhusiana na suala la sex.. then siku ukaenda kwake na akakubaka vile vile, nani ataamini ukisimulia na hali kila siku you have been seen together???

Mbu said:

...Asha D, nadhani hiyo statement ya Enjoyment is not Rape inaweza kuwa Objectional au Overruled wakati wa Cross Examination mahakamani. Ukiisoma vizuri mada, kuna mahala nimeandika, It is Not Rape until the woman claims it!!! ...PHEEEWWW!





...Ngojea TAMWA wakusikie. Wenzako wanapinga unyanyasaji "wewe unahalalisha!"
Anyway, kunyimana unyumba ndani ya ndoa ni mojawapo ya sababu inayokubalika mhusika mmoja wapo kudai talaka.



Nice one Lizzy, Tatizo sheria inatuambia NO means NO.
Hata kama kulikuwa na makubaliano ya awali. No wonder mpaka hivi leo
Mwanaume anapokuwa kwenye point of no return, "No!" can mean anything...!

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Hahahhahaa...sio nahalalisha bwana i‘m just being reasonable!Hata kama ni mimi niko kwenye hiyo position siwezi kwenda kumshtaki mume kanibaka...ntaishia kununa tu na kuhamia kwenye sofa mpaka yaishe!!

Kuhusu hapo kwenye makubaliano yanayogeuka kwakweli nadhani kuna utetezi mwingi upande wa mshtakiwa!!Ngoja nitafute kacheti ka sheria nianze kuwatetea wanaokumbwa na mikasa ya aina hiyo!!

Asha D said:

Umeona sasa jinsi issue ilivyo complicated??? Asilimia kubwa ya wanawake they have been raped in their life time but ile ku admit ndo inakua shida, maana anae ku rape si lazima akuvamie njian... anaweza kua hata boyfriend but mmekubaliana kua mnasubiri kwanza kuhusiana na suala la sex.. then siku ukaenda kwake na akakubaka vile vile, nani ataamini ukisimulia na hali kila siku you have been seen together???

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well said.

Inatisha sana mambo haya. Imagine mwanamke ana flirt na co worker/neighbour/ au hata shemeji yake to the point of No return...Pale mwanaume anajiandaa kupiga shuti, ghafla binti anafoka "Unanifanyia nini!? Unataka kunibaka? Nitakushtaki!"...hadhi, heshima na uanaume wote unakuwa tested kuanzia hapo!...

No wonder wengine hujionelea potelea mbali, wamalizie ('Rape!') kwa ushahidi kamili!

Mbu said:

well said.

Inatisha sana mambo haya. Imagine mwanamke ana flirt na co worker/neighbour/ au hata shemeji yake to the point of No return...Pale mwanaume anajiandaa kupiga shuti, ghafla binti anafoka "Unanifanyia nini!? Unataka kunibaka? Nitakushtaki!"...hadhi, heshima na uanaume wote unakuwa tested kuanzia hapo!...

No wonder wengine hujionelea potelea mbali, wamalizie ('Rape!') kwa ushahidi kamili!

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Mbu kuna rape cases ambazo mwanamke ndio wa kulaumiwa na zile ambazo mwanaume ndo wakulaumiwa... all in all flirting is good if controlled na pia sio nzuri ku flirt na mtu ambae uko nae mara kwa mara na hua mko katika mazingira ambayo yatawafanya mji engage katika sex. Moja ya rule ya flirting ni dont flirt with a guy for more than 10/20 minutes if you are at a party and you are not interested in him, don't flirt with a colleague at all for chances of you ending up having sex is very big for you will not know when to cross the line....

Mkuu hapo mbona kuna tofauti kubwa tuuu....What about LOVE MAKING and SEX MAKING? rape uone mahakama itakufanya nini?

Wakuu leo ndo mwisho wa dunia, bado mpo jamvini tu...!!!! ntarudi kwa comments baadaye

Kweli kuna THIN LINE aisee
Very interesting mada

Kwa ninavyojua mimi, UBAKAJI ulio clear kabisa ni kuingilia mtu kwa nguvu BILA mbakwaji kuridhia lolote kuanzia kwenye maongezi, kujiandaa mpaka wakati wa kitendo.

Hili la kubadili mawazo baadae au mwishoni baada ya kukubali awali pia ni KUBAKWA, bila kujali mwishoni alikataa kwa sababu zipi, ila lina uzito tofauti la hilo la awali. Yaani limechochewa na MBAKWAJI, kuna sehemu linahitaji avumilie.

Hata kwenye kuumia, kama ulikuwa unatembea huku una mawazo then ikatokea umetumbukia shimoni na kuvunjika mguu, yapaswa uvumilie maana sababu ni wewe mwenyewe, ingawaje kuna kusikia maumivu. Lakin bado imebaki UMEUMIA NA KUVUNJIKA MGUU (Umebakwa)

Japo hii ya kubakwa imefanywa na binadamu tofauti na kuumia ambayo mshiriki ni mtu mmoja tu, lakin hapa nataka nioanishe VISABABISHI ambavyo vinaletwa na muathirika.

Tujadili...

Hii topic ni pana sana,ila kila mwenye kuweza aweke mawazo yake.

Tunaweza pia kuiangalia kwenye darubini ya kijamii ie utamaduni.

Wakati kwetu waafrika demu akisema sitaki inaongeza mshawasha,kwa wenzetu hiyo ndo pointi inayoweza kukufunga jela kwa rape charges.

Yani hakimu akiuliza kama mwanamama alisema "sitaki" na ikawa proved kuwa alisema maneno hayo,basi unapewa kesi ya ubakaji.

Pia kwa upande mwingine kuan nyikati watu hufurahia mapenzi ambayo ukiangalia ni kama rough na kuweza kuonekana kama vile ni ubakaji.

Mifano ni mingi kuhusu hili,nimeamuwa kuipa hiyo tittle kutokana na ukweli niliwahi kuitizama movie inayoitwa "A thin line btn Love and Hate" na niliipenda.

Maoni yako yepi?

Mnakaribishwa...

Kesi nyingi za ubakaji huwa ni ngumu sana kuzithibitisha hususan kama hakuna mashuhuda wa tukio na kama mbakwaji si mtoto. Mara nyingi huwa ni he say, she say (a la Kobe Bryant). Sasa hapo itategemea na nani watoa uamuzi wanachagua kumuamini.

Na ndiyo maana wrongful convictions zihusianazo na ubakaji zipo nyingi. Ila afadhali kidogo kwa sasa ambapo baadhi ya jurisdictions DNA evidence ni admissible.

FLY said:

Kesi nyingi za ubakaji huwa ni ngumu sana kuzithibitisha hususan kama hakuna mashuhuda wa tukio na kama mbakwaji si mtoto. Mara nyingi huwa ni he say, she say (a la Kobe Bryant). Sasa hapo itategemea na nani watoa uamuzi wanachagua kumuamini.

Na ndiyo maana wrongful convictions zihusianaza na ubakaji zipo nyingi. Ila afadhali kidogo kwa sasa ambapo baadhi ya jurisdictions DNA evidence ni admissible.

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I aggree wiyh you FLY.

At some point, kila mwanamke anayeshiriki tendo hili amewahi kubakwa, tena kwenye ndoa ndio kuna ubakanaji wa hali ya juu.

Tusubiri, fedha za msaada wa wamarekani watufundishe kusema na wenzi wetu.