Are We Meant to be Monogamous?

Are We Meant to be Monogamous?

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"Morally? I'm highly loyal. You wont find a more loving and supportive partner. Sexually? Sorry." - RomanKush

This was a tweet I screen munched some months ago only to bump into itagain some time last night as I attempted to dig through my past. The twitter discussion at that point in time was about relationships, sexuality and whether or not we as humans are meant to monoamorous or polyamorous.

Generally, society has raised us to be monoamorous creatures, that is, we are taught that a relationship can only be about two people and that those two people are supposed to stay mutually exclusive to oneanother. Third and fourth party relationships (Polyamorous relationships) are generally discouraged and called unnatural.

The latter for health purposes makes absolute sense because sexual diseases are no longer a myth and the more sexual partners one has the higher the chance that somewhere along the lines, un-protectedsex is happening. But this is not the point. The point is, as humans, are we meant to be monoamorous? Is there anything unnatural about having more than one sexual partner?

Science shows that we are biologically set to seek out other/additional sexual partners once a relationship has matured. The way that hormones and pheromones function in the body is such that after the"honey-moon" phase is over, the phase where in which all the puppy love has been exhausted, we naturally get bored and lose interest in our partners, without necessarily loving them any less.

It is a fact that when you get into a relationship with an individual you do not become blind to other attractive people. It is also well known that men are most likely to cheat sexually (not emotionally) on their partners. Women are more likely to cheat emotionally on their partners.

Considering that our ancestors had multiple wives, is it therefore safe to say we are polyamorous beings brainwashed to think like monoamorous beings? Can we therefore assume that sex does not kill relationships but rather lies do? How many people would be more willing to be in a relationship with someone that lets them know from the get go that they are not about that "sexually faithful life" than someone who will promise them faithfulness and yet be with other people on the side?

Are we only monoamorous because we are selfish beings and want to "own"people and claim them as ours? Does true love mean trusting someoneenough to give them as much freedom as they want?
 
BabM you are so right. And that is where I find myself as a person stuck. Do I join the non monogamous crusaders or do I line myself up with the monogamists and wait for heartbreak, dissapointment and possible infection of diseases?
 
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we are meant to be monogamous but due to life's imperfections, we are forced in to polygamy subconsciously
 
The problem with most of you is that u can not accept the truth which hurts you although you might be at the middle of the pains of assuming monogamous. As it has been said three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. What Stoic is trying to argue has now been proved to be almost false as far as the truth is concerned. Chesterton said Through all this ordeal his root horror had been isolation, and there are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematicians that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one. That is why, in spite of a hundred disadvantages, the world will always return to monogamy." You know why? because as Powell said ''I think monogamy is a little unnatural, if I'm totally honest. You change. Things alter. It's the exception rather than the rule and I think it's exceptional to cope with it and manage it. It's hard work.'' The question is are you really practicing monogamy??Because It is not monogamy when there is one legal wife, and mistresses out of sight.
 
BabM I know you can't see me right now but I am literally doing a standing ovation for what you just said. There is no greater truth.
 
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BabM

they are just mistresses not legal wives, i think you should know the meaning of monogamy n polygamy
 
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we are meant to be monogamous but due to life's imperfections, we are forced in to polygamy subconsciously

But i think having a legal wife n mistress outside does nt mean that u are practicing polygamy, may be if u marry both of them.
 
We have either to accept polygamist or accept the consequence of being monogamists

If you are good financially, u can marry as much women as you can , as long as you can provide with them basic needs, otherwise i think we should not do that.
 
ı know the meaning. But what i am trying to say is that in actual sense there are few men who practice true monogamy. If there is a ''kimada'' in a marriage that will never be considered monogamy. A mistress is enjoying all the previlage like a wife including bearing childrens!!!! Most of the time legal wife is deprived of important services for the sake of a mistress Should we let it be illegal and approve its existence or opt to legalize it???

they are just mistresses not legal wives, i think you should know the meaning of monogamy n polygamy
 
ı know the meaning. But what i am trying to say is that in actual sense there are few men who practice true monogamy. If there is a ''kimada'' in a marriage that will never be considered monogamy. A mistress is enjoying all the previlage like a wife including bearing childrens!!!! Most of the time legal wife is deprived of important services for the sake of a mistress Should we let it be illegal and approve its existence or opt to legalize it???

Still its illegal my cousin, if a married man is having a mistress outside, that means he commits adultery and we cant legalize it as polygamy. Remember polygamy involves more than one wife n not mistress.
 
İf we stick to dictionery definitions you are right. So Which one are u supporting?

I have explained this above, we cant legalize mistress as wife, no matter if that kimada has children with that man, this man is committing adultery nt polygamy.
 
KIBONGOMKUTI that sounds like a nice idea theoretically, but people are selfish and like to "own" people. So it wouldn't really work. i know in the western side of the world it is a pretty common ideology, there are even things like partner swapping whereby people swap partners just for sex. However you need to be very open minded and understand that relationships are not just about the sex. People here are still insecure about sharing their partners.
 
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Nyachiro L Kasese swapping partners!! Duh I can imagine
 
KIBONGOMKUTI that sounds like a nice idea theoretically, but people are selfish and like to "own" people. So it wouldn't really work. i know in the western side of the world it is a pretty common ideology, there are even things like partner swapping whereby people swap partners just for sex. However you need to be very open minded and understand that relationships are not just about the sex. People here are still insecure about sharing their partners.

Nyachiro; Love is always hard to define, in fact there is no universal accepted standards it varies from cultures to places. However, one surprising fact is we all want it, struggle to get, invest in it unfortunately some people have lost lives in the name of love. Nowadays it is being said that there is no guarantee in Love, its kind of tricky game better play your cards smartly.
 
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