Being alive...

The Boss

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being all that alive
isn’t so much a good thing
there’s the pressure you
get from people who wishes
you all the best
and yet I puke out my sorrows
in a bottle of shame
all that I am isn’t the same
with my relatives
who only think of the same gain
I am not like that
I also feel real pain
I also want to just lie down
and pretend all of this never
happened
I hate uber-positive things
I hate being so charming to them
I hate smiling and saying “oh, we
are doing okay” or “yes, I am
okay”
I want to say that I am not
all there is is fakery and criticism
behind my backs there is this
faith yet who am I without the art
of listening
life’s a true b*tch if you tell me
too much goodness can never last
all we ever want is the realness
of situations as we cradle it in
our beds
and looking through the mirror we
break open the masks that has
held us
more than ever before
we love and yet we lost
we believe and yet we feel worse
we mistake life for a real pleasure
but all we have inside are thorns,
and spikes and all that insane things
that bind us to a fault, that makes
us creative, that makes us understood
in times of utter chaos
chaos is always good
when there is so much mundane routine
I hate you so much I can die
I want this life to begin in a proper context
not just the sweet, purposeful existence
everybody wants to die in
we never love truly
for we always beg to go down in history
 
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