Yote mawili hutokea lakini kwa hali yetu ya sasa mapenzi mengi yanakuja kwa vinogesho mbali mbali.
Hellow, help me here please! Nimekuwa na changanywa hapa. Wengne nataka mume mweupe, oh nataka mke mwembamba, nataka niolewe na kipanga . . Mara hivi mara vile. Sasa swali ni je una~identified characteristics za mtu ndio 'unaamua kumpenda' au you happen to love her/him automatically without considering those qualities?
Ronn M kwakua hujanitaja basi sichangii mwaego.
love inakuja automatically mkuu haya mengne ni mbwembe tu ndio maan unaweza kuoa/ kuolewa then ukampenda mtu mwingne haya ya pesa, urefu, rangi hamna kitu ni michezo tu ya wakuigiza,
Ronn M, ninavyoamini mimi kila mtu ana characteristics ambazo angependa mwenzawake awe navyo lakini hivyo vigezo sometimes changes with time what I wanted 5 years ago would not be the same as of now. Unaweza ukapenda mtu bila kuwa na hivyo vigezo lakini with time you find he/she has more to give that what you thought its important, here I mean you learn to love the person by knowing him day after day, its gradual process but I feel its more safe. Unakuwa unampenda mtu by knowing him/her in and out na hii its more of matured individual again looks becomes irrelavant.
Halafu kuna wa wale wanaopenda kutokana na vigezo vya muoneka, mwembamba, mweupe, blue sijui ananini, hizi type za mapenzi mimi huwa ninashindwa kuzielewa. Sasa huyo mwembamba akinenepa, au weupe ukatokea kama ni mkorogo mnaanza kumwagana. Muonekano muhimu lakini sio kila kitu katika relashionship sometimes it worthy trading off between appearance and other more important factors ie behaviour, smartness
Ronn M, you cant be serious with what you you have written.............lol! maneno matam ya kumtoa nyoka pangoni atii! but sinimesha changia?Loh, jamani! Kwanza nisamehewe kwa kutokukutaja,hata nikitoa excuse hazitasaidia. With due diligence and all respect
coming from the inner part of my heart, understanding your undisputed contributions in JF and especially in MMU, taking
into consideration your valuable knowledge and experience in matters of love and romance, having in mind that your
posts are always having something substantial worthy of educating others, taking into account that your views will add
qualities and substance in this threat and wishing to see ur thoughts reduced in words in this threat, I, therefore,
without being forced by any person, in my free volition, invite you gfsonwin to contribute in this
thread. with due respect, welcome madam
Ronn M, you cant be serious with what you you have written.............lol! maneno matam ya kumtoa nyoka pangoni atii! but sinimesha changia?
back to the point.
From my experience, na hapa mnaruhusiwa kunikosoa ama kuchangia pia. mahusianao mengi yaliyodumu ama yanayodumu kwa muda refu basi nai yale ambayo yana meet qualities za walengwa. Nikimaanisha kuwa kila mmoja ana kuwa na qualities ambazo anazitaka so atakuwa akichagua mpenzi kulingana na qualities hizo. vigezo hivi si vile vya vitu vya nje la hasha bali vile vya vya mtu binafsi yaani wasifu wa mtu mwenyewe tena hasa wa ndani na wa nje baadae.
mapenzi yanayolengwa kwa kutumia sifa za vitu vya mtu ama magari, nyumba kazi , hela nk huwa hayadumu kabisa mara nyingi yanaishiaga njiani. ila yale yanayojengwa wa kutumia wasifu wa muhusika wa nje kama urefu, mwili mzuri ngozi rangi fulan nk huu huwa pia hauna tatizo.kadhalika na ul unaopimwa kwa vtu visivyoonekana kama upole ukarim nidham nk.
wasifu huu ukawepo kwa muhusika basi mapenzi juu ya muhusika huanza kukua taratibu. mwonekano wa awali ule unaoleta mvuto huweza pia kuchochea penzi iwapo utasaidiwa na wasifu wa nje na wa ndani.
so kwa mtazamo wangu kinachoanza ni sifa za muhusika ndipo upenda unafuata. na hapa yatupasa kutofautisha kati ya kupenda na kutamani. ni hyao tu Ronn M
thanks a lot gfsonwin, sasa ndivyo kusema upendo ni choice and does not come automatically? In
other words; can you see a person meeting all your qualities, internal and external and yet you choose not to love
him/her?
hiyo ipo yupo mtu kwa mtazamo wa nje anaqualities zote lakin utauta moyo wako hauambatani naye, sababu kubwa hapa ni hidden attributes like Mungu anasema na wewe dont go there. Ndivyo niichukuliavyo mimi. kwani wewe wanawake wte unaodate nao ndio uliwah kuwatongoza? jibu hapana yawezekana ulitongoza hata 50 lkn ukadate na 10 tu kwanini haon wengine ukawaacha?
Sasa hivyo vinogesho ndio vipi Ngekewa? Na je ndivyo inavyopaswa kuwa au ndio hiyo 'hali yetu
ya sasa'? Je huleta mapenzi ya kweli