Couples Love..... Is Physical Attraction Necessary ?

Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment

Je unaweza ukafall for Kindness, Understanding, and Good Qualities without physical attraction ?

Now Since Physicall attraction will fade, does it mean falling for those other qualities will make the relationship last longer.....?

I know the perfect scenario is to have both.., but if you were to choose which one would you choose.

Passion fades, love lasts.

If i were to choose i will choose Kindness, understanding and good qualities.......we all seek happiness in our lives in everything that we do...the phyiscal part of a person in the long run can not make me happy,can not make me a better person,can not make a good dad to my kids,can not make a good son in law to my parents and will not pay for my kids school fees or family meals.........so i would rather have an unaatractive partner than a useless attractive partner......:coffee:......so yes, naweza fall for kindness,understanding and good qualities over physical attraction!!

Wait...unaongelea mtu ambae in general ni attractive ila sio kwako au ambae hata mwenyewe anajijua kabisa sio attractive!

Penye Urembo ndipo penye ULIMBO!..
Hawa wasichana warembo sana mara nyingi wanakuwa na mambo fulani yaliyojificha!

Lizzy said:

Wait...unaongelea mtu ambae in general ni attractive ila sio kwako au ambae hata mwenyewe anajijua kabisa sio attractive!

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I mean people like J.Lo, Halley Berry, Toni Braxton... They are really attractive (physically most men will fall for them)..., lakini wouldnt it be better kufall for an average Jane ambaye yupo kind and understanding...?

My point being Toni Braxton at 85 probably would look like average Jane without the kindness..., also remember unless in very rare occassions physically attraction happens everyday today its Mary, tommorrow its Halima...., and those goods lips and sexy eyes after looking at them for so long they just become just normal

PakaJimmy said:

Penye Urembo ndipo penye ULIMBO!..
Hawa wasichana warembo sana mara nyingi wanakuwa na mambo fulani yaliyojificha!

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Kweli Mkuu usiombe kuwa na mtu anayeona kwamba he/she is doing you a favour kwa kuwa na wewe...., yaani anaona i could have done better than this..

Mmmh owkey!Nwyz i personally would prefer kindness..genuine love and the likes over physical attraction!Ila kuna watu wao mvuto ni muhimu zaidi kabla ya kumpenda mtu!Yani inachukua nafasi kubwa sana ya maamuzi yake!

Kweli kabisa nakuunga mkono.

VoiceOfReason said:

I mean people like J.Lo, Halley Berry, Toni Braxton... They are really attractive (physically most men will fall for them)..., lakini wouldnt it be better kufall for an average Jane ambaye yupo kind and understanding...?

My point being Toni Braxton at 85 probably would look like average Jane without the kindness..., also remember unless in very rare occassions physically attraction happens everyday today its Mary, tommorrow its Halima...., and those goods lips and sexy eyes after looking at them for so long they just become just normal

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Hiyo physical attraction nayo ipo wider....anaweza kuvutia akiwa na mavazi...akiyavua ni balaa! Anaweza kuwa good looking lakini ikija kwenye 'mambo yetu yale' ni sifuri kabisa hutamani kukutana nae tena. All in all, a good balance ya aspects zote visible/tangible na invisible/intangible ni muhimu.

SMU said:

Hiyo physical attraction nayo ipo wider....anaweza kuvutia akiwa na mavazi...akiyavua ni balaa! Anaweza kuwa good looking lakini ikija kwenye 'mambo yetu yale' ni sifuri kabisa hutamani kukutana nae tena. All in all, a good balance ya aspects zote visible/tangible na invisible/intangible ni muhimu.

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Kweli kabisa hiyo ndio perfect scenario lakini tatizo ukibase sana huko dada uliyekutana nae in her 20's hatakuwa vilevile in her 40's na after having a few babies..., lakini kindness na tabia havizeeki

VoiceOfReason said:

Kweli kabisa hiyo ndio perfect scenario lakini tatizo ukibase sana huko dada uliyekutana nae in her 20's hatakuwa vilevile in her 40's na after having a few babies..., lakini kindness na tabia havizeeki

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I beg to differ....mimi naamini tabia zinaweza kubadilika kadri ya umri unavyokwenda!

SMU said:

I beg to differ....mimi naamini tabia zinaweza kubadilika kadri ya umri unavyokwenda!

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They say a zebra never changes its stripes....,
I say, You can not turn Hitler to a Mother Theresa

VoiceOfReason said:

They say a zebra never changes its stripes....,
I say, You can not turn Hitler to a Mother Theresa

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Kwa hivyo ndio kusema tabia ni inborn? I guess tunaongelea vitu tofauti.

Mi naona kwa nje unaona physic, na vijitabia fulani (understanding, seriousness, charming n.k), lanini hivyo huwa tu kama mlango wa kukuvutia iungie ndani, ila ndani ndo ubora wote unakopatikana. Ila physical attraction lakini ni mlango wa mbele, ambao wengi wanaingilia.

SMU said:

Kwa hivyo ndio kusema tabia ni inborn? I guess tunaongelea vitu tofauti.

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Hapana tabia sio inborn...., ila ni interactions na environment na malezi mtu anayopata tokea akiwa mdogo (thats what makes us who we are). Mtoto akiwa mdogo ni kama sponge na ni rahisi kuchukua vitu kwa urahisi, kwahiyo hata mtu akilelewa na mbwa mwitu utakuta atakuwa anatambaa kama mbwa mwitu na anabweka....

kwahiyo mazoea ambayo mtu anajijengea kwa muda mrefu (about 20 yrs) ni vigumu kubadilika akiwa mkubwa (unless in very rare occasions labda akumbwe na janga la kutisha au abuse) ambayo itamfanya abadilishe kabisa his views about life..

They Say Yuo Cant Teach an Old Dog New Tricks...

VoiceOfReason said:

Hapana tabia sio inborn...., ila ni interactions na environment na malezi mtu anayopata tokea akiwa mdogo (thats what makes us who we are). Mtoto akiwa mdogo ni kama sponge na ni rahisi kuchukua vitu kwa urahisi, kwahiyo hata mtu akilelewa na mbwa mwitu utakuta atakuwa anatambaa kama mbwa mwitu na anabweka....

kwahiyo mazoea ambayo mtu anajijengea kwa muda mrefu (about 20 yrs) ni vigumu kubadilika akiwa mkubwa (unless in very rare occasions labda akumbwe na janga la kutisha au abuse) ambayo itamfanya abadilishe kabisa his views about life..

They Say Yuo Cant Teach an Old Dog New Tricks...

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Sisi waswahili tunasema elimu haina mwisho....! Kwenye suala la kubadilika tabia wala sihitaji mifano kutoka nje...mimi mwenyewe najiona jinsi nilivyobadilika kitabia. Wakati nikiwa na miaka 20 na sasa kuna tafauti kubwa sana ya kitabia. Kwa nini nimebadilika?...mzingira yamebadilika, aina ya interaction zimebadilika, elimu imebadilika, umri pia umebadilika, ....nk..nk!

Kwa kifupi mabadiliko hayaepukiki (kwa ubaya, au kwa uzuri)...kila siku tunakutana na vitu vipya ambavyo vinabadilisha mitizamo yetu.

Usisahau pia kadr unavyopata umri mabadiliko ya kimwili(kama hormones levels nk) yanaweza kuji manifest kwenye mabadiliko ya tabia. Umewahi kujiuliza kwa nini wanawake wengi wanatoka (au potentially wanaweza toka) nje ya ndoa zao ni wa umri wa miaka 35 - 40 hivi (more so kama ana mume mwenye umri wa miaka 45 na kuendelea)?

to me u have to have a bit of every thing..
i dont want u be perfect but alrite..

kwangu mimi kuna physical attraction za aina mbili

1. kuna ile mtu hakujitakia (e.g kilema)
2. kuna lie ya mtu kajiachia..

kama ni hiyo ya kwanza haina neno kabisa kwa sababu ni kitu ambacho mtu hakujitakia..

ile ya kwende ku kesha Mcdonald utanisamehe....

afrodenzi said:

ile ya kwende ku kesha Mcdonald utanisamehe....

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....Lol

i guess inategemea na wewe mwenyewe ukoje,kama mtu unajijua mzuri unaamini unavutia na unapenda kujiweka smart-utataka mtu wa aina yako.....ila kama viwango vyako ni duni kama mie utasettle for less:laugh::laugh::laugh::twitch:

afrodenzi said:

to me u have to have a bit of every thing..
i dont want u be perfect but alrite..

kwangu mimi kuna physical attraction za aina mbili

1. kuna ile mtu hakujitakia (e.g kilema)
2. kuna lie ya mtu kajiachia..

kama ni hiyo ya kwanza haina neno kabisa kwa sababu ni kitu ambacho mtu hakujitakia..

ile ya kwende ku kesha Mcdonald utanisamehe....

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No I dont mean kilema, what I mean is can your attraction for other qualities overcome the physical unattractiveness..., because even wale wa Mcdonalds labda once walikuwa okay.... and ladies and men as time goes on they loose their good qualities...,

Labda ngoja niweke wazi point yangu, maybe... really and everlasting love...., is the love beyond the looks, the inner beauty..... LOOKS ARE JUST NYONGEZA..., JUST A BONUS..... au unasemaje?