jerrytz
JF-Expert Member
- Oct 10, 2012
- 5,975
- 4,266
At some point in all of our careers, we are going to need to craft a pitch perfect apology, and in some rare cases, our very jobs may depend on getting it right. If you are going to fall on your sword, make it one clean thrust. Youll bleed less that way. You have every reason to be disappointed in me. Im disappointed in myself not my finest hour. Heres what I plan to do to correct the situation
Dont try to qualify or justify. Dont point fingers or shift the blame. Dont apologize for being late because, My assistant didnt put it in the calendar. Dont drift into TMI (too much information) territory, providing endless detailed explanation nobody wants to hear. Many people falsely assume that delving into the minutiae of what went wrong will somehow make everything OK, but this isnt the case. The more details you offer, the worse you look and the more you call the authenticity of your apology into question.
Think of an apology as a three-part process:
Part 1: Own the mistake.
Say something like, You are absolutely right. That was completely unacceptable and not the outcome I envisioned. If I were in your shoes I would be annoyed too.
Part 2: Couch it as the rare exceptionnot the norm.
I recommend to companies that they apologize concisely and unequivocally. But that doesnt mean that within the apology, you cant allude to what an aberration the mistake is. Even in the apology you are stating that normally you strive for and/or achieve excellence. So if you get called on the carpet for being late to an important client meeting, try saying to your boss, youre right: that was not the signal I wanted to send to the client. I personally find it upsetting because I hold my own promptness in the highest regard.
Part 3: Forecast a positive result still ahead.
Its vital to pivot to the positive and help the other party see ahead to the eventual good outcome. So if you go to the wrong address for a work event, you might say, You are right. Its not the way any of us wanted the day to start, but right on the heels of that say, but I guarantee . . . that once I get there we are going to have a banner day.
That tactic is so important because no matter what the situation, no matter what the mishap, people essentially want to be reassured by a calming, confident voice that everythings going to be OK.
Dont try to qualify or justify. Dont point fingers or shift the blame. Dont apologize for being late because, My assistant didnt put it in the calendar. Dont drift into TMI (too much information) territory, providing endless detailed explanation nobody wants to hear. Many people falsely assume that delving into the minutiae of what went wrong will somehow make everything OK, but this isnt the case. The more details you offer, the worse you look and the more you call the authenticity of your apology into question.
Think of an apology as a three-part process:
Part 1: Own the mistake.
Say something like, You are absolutely right. That was completely unacceptable and not the outcome I envisioned. If I were in your shoes I would be annoyed too.
Part 2: Couch it as the rare exceptionnot the norm.
I recommend to companies that they apologize concisely and unequivocally. But that doesnt mean that within the apology, you cant allude to what an aberration the mistake is. Even in the apology you are stating that normally you strive for and/or achieve excellence. So if you get called on the carpet for being late to an important client meeting, try saying to your boss, youre right: that was not the signal I wanted to send to the client. I personally find it upsetting because I hold my own promptness in the highest regard.
Part 3: Forecast a positive result still ahead.
Its vital to pivot to the positive and help the other party see ahead to the eventual good outcome. So if you go to the wrong address for a work event, you might say, You are right. Its not the way any of us wanted the day to start, but right on the heels of that say, but I guarantee . . . that once I get there we are going to have a banner day.
That tactic is so important because no matter what the situation, no matter what the mishap, people essentially want to be reassured by a calming, confident voice that everythings going to be OK.
