"I don't care if you cheat on me as long as...."

Nyani Ngabu · Jun 4, 2010

An old flame of mine once told me that she didn't care if I cheated on her so long as she doesn't find out about it or I don't do it to her face. I was taken aback by it. I didn't know what to think...but later on came to think about it and realized that she really wasn't into me like that..it's that she had such a low self esteem. She didn't think highly of herself no matter what. She was beautiful and all but she thought she had so many imperfections. What do you all think her problem was? Do you think she loved me so much that she wasn't ready to leave me no matter what I did to her?

WomanOfSubstance · Jun 4, 2010

Its not about low self esteem as such..many women who have experience with men will take that stance.
If u r to chuck a man just because he cheated on you how many will u dump?
Majority of women who would dump a guy just bcoz he cheated ni ama wako wapya kwenye mahusiano including ndoa changa au hawajui ukweli kuhusu maisha.

Determinantor · Jun 4, 2010

Changa la macho hiloooooo
Hujui usemi usemao: Out of sight out of mind??? Haaaaaaa, watakucheka watu

Nyani Ngabu · Jun 4, 2010

WomanOfSubstance said:
Its not about low self esteem as such..many women who have experience with men will take that stance.
If u r to chuck a man just because he cheated on you how many will u dump?
Majority of women who would dump a guy just bcoz he cheated ni ama wako wapya kwenye mahusiano including ndoa changa au hawajui ukweli kuhusu maisha.

Hmmm..I dig what you say but damn...if you tell a man that then you are telling him that you accept his cheating ways, right? If the tables were reversed I don't know how many men would accept that...the male ego is just too big...

WomanOfSubstance · Jun 4, 2010

Nyani Ngabu said:
Hmmm..I dig what you say but damn...if you tell a man that then you are telling him that you accept his cheating ways, right? If the tables were reversed I don't know how many men would accept that...the male ego is just too big...

U just hold it at the back of ur mind.. telling him will be the dumbest thing to do.

Nyani Ngabu · Jun 4, 2010

WomanOfSubstance said:
U just hold it at the back of ur mind.. telling him will be the dumbest thing to do.

Wow..okay...thanks for your perspective on this. I learned something new today.

BAK · Jun 4, 2010

Nyani Ngabu said:
Hmmm..I dig what you say but damn...if you tell a man that then you are telling him that you accept his cheating ways, right? If the tables were reversed I don't know how many men would accept that...the male ego is just too big...

That is very true! It is too big...but there are very few who would be able accept that.

Noname · Jun 5, 2010

If she tells u that...it means she doenst give a damn about u...

Mwanafunzi · Jun 5, 2010

An old flame of mine once told me that she didn't care if I cheated on her so long as she doesn't find out about it or I don't do it to her face. I was taken aback by it. I didn't know what to think...but later on came to think about it and realized that she really wasn't into me like that..it's that she had such a low self esteem. She didn't think highly of herself no matter what. She was beautiful and all but she thought she had so many imperfections. What do you all think her problem was? Do you think she loved me so much that she wasn't ready to leave me no matter what I did to her?

To me this is very clear, if she doesn't find out about your cheating ways, how will she know you are cheating, and why would she care? as far as she should be concerned you are not cheating. It is not a matter of not caring or having a low self-esteem.
A woman who says that is being realistic. She knows most if not all men cheat , some do it openly and some do it well hidden, and she prefers not knowing about it.....

Noname · Jun 6, 2010

Mwanafunzi said:
To me this is very clear, if she doesn't find out about your cheating ways, how will she know you are cheating, and why would she care? as far as she should be concerned you are not cheating. It is not a matter of not caring or having a low self-esteem.
A woman who says that is being realistic. She knows most if not all men cheat , some do it openly and some do it well hidden, and she prefers not knowing about it.....

Does she need to tell him that? I mean WTF? u dont need to tell him everything honestly.... some things u gotta keep 'em for urself...

Companero · Jun 6, 2010

She was simply telling you a fact of love life, that is, cheating happens and we all know it happens so better keep it a 'known secret'!

Noname · Jun 6, 2010

Companero so cheating is the fact of love life?

Companero · Jun 6, 2010

Noname said:
Companero so cheating is the fact of love life?

Yes indeed - the only exception is among those who genuinely define and truly practice it this way:

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails

WomanOfSubstance · Jun 6, 2010

Mwanafunzi said:
To me this is very clear, if she doesn't find out about your cheating ways, how will she know you are cheating, and why would she care? as far as she should be concerned you are not cheating. It is not a matter of not caring or having a low self-esteem.
A woman who says that is being realistic. She knows most if not all men cheat , some do it openly and some do it well hidden, and she prefers not knowing about it.....

Its better to accept and be prepared for the worst than bury your head in the sand!

As for the male ego which some have urgued that it is too strong..i reserve my comments.

Nyani Ngabu · Jun 6, 2010

WomanOfSubstance said:
As for the male ego which some have urgued that it is too strong..i reserve my comments.

Nooo...just say what's on your mind. It's true though...the male ego is just too big...a man will take it so hard if his woman cheats on him than a woman would if she catches her man two timing on her. For a man, if his woman cheats on him it's like a violation of his manhood. That he wasn't man enough for her until she went and cheated on him with another man. It is so hard for men to forgive their women when it comes to cheating.

WomanOfSubstance · Jun 6, 2010

Nyani Ngabu said:
Nooo...just say what's on your mind. It's true though...the male ego is just too big...a man will take it so hard if his woman cheats on him than a woman would if she catches her man two timing on her. For a man, if his woman cheats on him it's like a violation of his manhood. That he wasn't man enough for her until she went and cheated on him with another man. It is so hard for men to forgive their women when it comes to cheating.

I HEAR YOU... MAY BE HALIJAKUPATA... ukiwakuta ambao limewapata wanakuwa wapole tu......na husamehe hata kama hawasahau...
Any counsellors in here? Watakuambia...its hard for both men and women ..hata wanawake its devastating... hujiuliza maswali kama hayo wanaume wanayojiuliza lakini ..life has to go on.

Nyani Ngabu · Jun 6, 2010

WomanOfSubstance said:
I HEAR YOU... MAY BE HALIJAKUPATA... ukiwakuta ambao limewapata wanakuwa wapole tu......na husamehe hata kama hawasahau...
Any counsellors in here? Watakuambia...its hard for both men and women ..hata wanawake its devastating... hujiuliza maswali kama hayo wanaume wanayojiuliza lakini ..life has to go on.

Sawa wanakuwa wapole lakini ego yao inakuwa bruised big time. Nakubali ndiyo hata kwa wanawake ni devastating lakini kwa wanaume duuuh...I think it's more devastating because there is a perception out there that men cheat more than women do (which I dispute, by the way)..so when the tables are turned....not only the women..but also other men would wonder what happened/ what was lacking until the woman decided to cheat...

Maybe some of the fellas here will vouch for me...

Rose1980 · Jun 7, 2010

mmh mtoto mdg mie.........!!!!!!!!!!
kuchitiwa kunanoga eennh?????????
na inakuaje mpk unaamua kumuumiza mwenzio????

Teamo · Jun 7, 2010

Nyani Ngabu said:
An old flame of mine once told me that she didn't care if I cheated on her so long as she doesn't find out about it or I don't do it to her face. I was taken aback by it. I didn't know what to think...but later on came to think about it and realized that she really wasn't into me like that..it's that she had such a low self esteem. She didn't think highly of herself no matter what. She was beautiful and all but she thought she had so many imperfections. What do you all think her problem was? Do you think she loved me so much that she wasn't ready to leave me no matter what I did to her?

THAT IS ''fear'' in ''LOVE''!
SHE LOVES WITH FEAR (that she may lose you)!....
LOVE WITHOUT FEAR IS THE REAL LOVE

KipimaPembe · Jun 7, 2010

She was doing the same to you! She was sure you wont find out. So she was ready if you do the same to her!! That's loud and clear man!

"I don't care if you cheat on me as long as...."

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