Interview:kwa cv kama hii nakupa kazi

[Thanda]

Curriculum Vityae

I am aply to my job of security guard to yu boss in you company of shoprite. I complete to std 8 examination certificate in 1997.

My skool HLOMANI HIGH SKOOL very good.

I am 27 ears to be born of age and no mallied and no childish.My father is dead long time ago and my mother mary in KWA-ZULU NATAL country there 10 years now,no see she so no body known to help me.

My certificate is just sitting home for itself,but passes in mathematics, geography, science, and all subjects but fail in ENGLISH because of Mkhize teacher teaching meis jelas of myself. Me wear expenses cloth than Mkhize teacher.
I here people you want security guards to you company and I tell you i am one of that job.I am experience for 2 years. I short thief dead. I want to join the company of you and chase criminal out with me AK47.

Please consider my aplication careful and call me any time because me Have cellphone. I am redi for interview with you.I am very hornest and can speak english for free of charge.

Please also great your wife.

And rememba that english is not our mother land

 

[Thanda]

CV hii ni ya kweli iliwahi kutumwa katika moja ya taasisi za serikali na private companies kama shoprite huko South Africa...sitanii, huyu jamaa kwa ujasiri wake wa kuandika ukweli na kutokujua mpangilio wa uandishi wa CV na barua ya maombi ya kazi,"alizawadiwa kazi" na shoprite SA, na baadae akahamishiwa KITWE, Zambia katika moja ya mlolongo wa maduka haya makubwa ya bidhaa mbalimbali kama "Security Supervisor".

Naomba hata kama hujui kuandika CV usihofu kwani hata hao mabosi huko ofisini mwao wanaangalia pia uwezo wa mtu, kwa mfano Utanashati wako, uwezo wa kujieleza, mvuto, utashi na aina ya kazi na pia kama unafundishika.

Alipoulizwa kama yeye ndiye mwandishi wa hiyo na "prospective employer" alimjibu kwa upole na tabasamu safi lenye uchangamfu kama wa mtangazaji na mchambuzi wa michezo katika channel ya"Supersport" Mr Thomas Mlambo,,,(oh ndio, yes ni mimi mheshimiwa,kwani ina tatizo lolote bosi wangu?" huku akichanganya na lugha yake ya kizulu katika baadhi ya maneno.

Ona ni jinsi gani alivyokuwa na nguvu ya ushawishi.Nitamtafuta rafiki yangu Similane Magutshwa aniambie huyu bwana yuko wapi kwa sasa.

 

[Mshuza2]

Nimeipenda! jamaa alikuwa real nadhani waliona wampe ili athibitishe kipaji chake!

 

[Gwankaja Gwakilingo]

Dunia ni vita ukikaa nyumbani utakufa kibudu

 

[Myelife]

Hata mie nimeipenda, na hata mie ningekuwa ni miongoni mwa employer na mtu anataka kazi ya ulinzi anaongea ukweli mtupu, he is real deserve, maisha ni vita pigana, vita, vita ni kifo, kifo ni mwisho wa kila kitu. So kile unamiliki ni hazina pekee uliopewa na mwenyezi kitumie sasa

 

[spencer]

mkipata muda muulizeni cv yake aliituma kampuni ngapi na ngapi zilijibu, binafsi mie nishaiona long time tena jamaa aliandika kwa mkono wako mwenyewe

 

[sweke 34]

kibongobongo hiyo inatoswa mapemaaa...!

 

[PrN-kazi]

jamaa kingereza chake ni kibovu lakini anaeleweka, duh! very funny.

 

[kau]

[Hata mie nimeipenda, na hata mie ningekuwa ni miongoni mwa employer na mtu anataka kazi ya ulinzi anaongea ukweli mtupu, he is real deserve, maisha ni vita pigana, vita, vita ni kifo, kifo ni mwisho wa kila kitu. So kile unamiliki ni hazina pekee uliopewa na mwenyezi kitumie sasa.]

kumbe mko wengi eeehhh...

 

[masamijunior]

Imetulia,jamaa yuko 100% fresh,Hongera zake

 

[Uncle Jei Jei]

Tatizo wabongo wengi tunapenda kukimbilia kwa jirani kuficha uhalisia wetu! Mtu anapangilia cv vzr,ila akishapata ajira...

 

[Vinci]

amethubutu...alistahili kuzawadiwa ajira...je ni wangapi tena wenye elimu za juu hawajiamini na kuthubutu kufanya hivi wamekaa tuu nyumbani na vyeti vyao?

 

[Lgy8250]

Nimeipenda wadau hata sisi na shule zetu wanatuhadaa na tunakubali bora mshikaji kajitutumua mzee kaeleza kile alichonacho na wakamuita kutestify na kawaimpres kapata kitengo so .....siri ya mafanikio ni kujiamini mzee kajiamini
kapata dili Congratulation ziende kwa yeye Wabongo bado tuna kasumba kuwa msomi ni yule ambaye Ngeli inapaaaanda tuna Maengineer wengi hawapendi zungumza Kiingereza na kazi wanafanya vizuri kuliko washakaji ambao moingelingeli ipo karibu mzee ................

Inabidi watu wabadilike wafanye mambo ya msingi na kujiamini kwa kile kidogo tulichonacho Ona Mizungu inakuja inatuwekea kipimo cha maendeleo kuwa ni kuwa na hichi na hichi wakati kwa upande wangu ukiwa unajitosheleza ni kipomo tosha vingine ni vya ziada tukiziubaa tutatawaliwa mpaka mwisho ...............
tubadilike mazeee

Mi nampongeza sana Huyu Security Guard
Inaonekana atakuwa makini sana na kazi kwa maana anajijua akjzengua tu kaharibu

 

[Lgy8250]

Nimeipenda wadau hata sisi na shule zetu wanatuhadaa na tunakubali bora mshikaji kajitutumua mzee kaeleza kile alichonacho na wakamuita kutestify na kawaimpres kapata kitengo so .....siri ya mafanikio ni kujiamini mzee kajiamini
kapata dili Congratulation ziende kwa yeye Wabongo bado tuna kasumba kuwa msomi ni yule ambaye Ngeli inapaaaanda tuna Maengineer wengi hawapendi zungumza Kiingereza na kazi wanafanya vizuri kuliko washakaji ambao moingelingeli ipo karibu mzee ................

Inabidi watu wabadilike wafanye mambo ya msingi na kujiamini kwa kile kidogo tulichonacho Ona Mizungu inakuja inatuwekea kipimo cha maendeleo kuwa ni kuwa na hichi na hichi wakati kwa upande wangu ukiwa unajitosheleza ni kipomo tosha vingine ni vya ziada tukiziubaa tutatawaliwa mpaka mwisho ...............
tubadilike mazeee

Mi nampongeza sana Huyu Security Guard
Inaonekana atakuwa makini sana na kazi kwa maana anajijua akjzengua tu kaharibu

Usiposimama Utasimamiiwa :shut-mouth:

 

[Lgy8250]

Nimeipenda wadau hata sisi na shule zetu wanatuhadaa na tunakubali bora mshikaji kajitutumua mzee kaeleza kile alichonacho na wakamuita kutestify na kawaimpres kapata kitengo so .....siri ya mafanikio ni kujiamini mzee kajiamini
kapata dili Congratulation ziende kwa yeye Wabongo bado tuna kasumba kuwa msomi ni yule ambaye Ngeli inapaaaanda tuna Maengineer wengi hawapendi zungumza Kiingereza na kazi wanafanya vizuri kuliko washakaji ambao moingelingeli ipo karibu mzee ................

Inabidi watu wabadilike wafanye mambo ya msingi na kujiamini kwa kile kidogo tulichonacho Ona Mizungu inakuja inatuwekea kipimo cha maendeleo kuwa ni kuwa na hichi na hichi wakati kwa upande wangu ukiwa unajitosheleza ni kipomo tosha vingine ni vya ziada tukiziubaa tutatawaliwa mpaka mwisho ...............
tubadilike mazeee

Mi nampongeza sana Huyu Security Guard
Inaonekana atakuwa makini sana na kazi kwa maana anajijua akjzengua tu kaharibu

Usiposimama Utasimamiiwa :shut-mouth:

 

[Nguchiro]

this is not serious!

 

[Mpitagwa]

confidence ni mhimu sana katika mambo haya. Na alivyosema mchangiaji wa mwanzo kila mtu ananyota yake. Mvuto unamata vilevile

 

[Chiwa]

hii nimeikubali kwa san tu wakati mwingine tunajikuta tunaacha watu wazuri na kuchagua wabaya kisa hawajui kiingereza uppuzi mtupu

 

[King Kong III]

Hii ni Cover letter au cv?

 

[Mbofu]

Ths guy is so smart kwa kweli..nmechekaje hapa.