Kumpoteza mtu unayempenda!!

Whatever problem/difficult i face in my life including those related to relationshis,i always remember that:

God uses problems to PROTECT you.

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for the good. Genesis 50:20.

God uses problems to PERFECT you.

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems ....they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point:
God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with HIM.

nnunu said:

Pole sana sana,
Najua jinsi unavyoumia ksb nami nimepitia hapo,
watu wengi sana walinipa pole na faraja nyingi,
ila kuna mtu mmoja alinambia maneno kama hayo hapo juu,
kipindi kile kusema ukweli sikumwelewa, na ilinichukua miaka mingi sana,
kumwelewa, lakin NAMSHUKURU MUNGU SASA NAANZA KUELEWA,
NA NAZIDI KUAMINI KUWA MUNGU ANATUPENDA SANA VIUMBE VYAKE,
SISI TUNAPOTOKEWA NA TATIZO TUNAUMIA SANA,TUNALAUMU SANA,
NA TUNAJUTA SANA, LAKIN KUMBE MUNGU AMEKUWA AMETUANDALIA,
KITU/JAMBO ZURI SANA MBELE YETU.

POLE SANA NDUGU YANGU. ILA OMBA SANA, LIA SANA SANA HASIRA NA MAUMIVU VIWEZE KUPUNGUA HUKU UKIAMINI KUWA MUNGU NI MWEMA SANA,
NAAMINI KUNA MWANAUME MBELE YAKO ATAKAYEKUPENDA KWA DHATI, ATAKAYEKUPA PUMZIKO ZURI NA MWILI NA MOYO WAKO, MPAKA MWISHO WA PUMZI YAKO.

HILO ULILONANO SIYO TATIZO BALI NI CHANGAMOTO TU YA KIMAHUSIANO,
UKIMALIZA KULIA,FUTA MACHOZI, SIMAMA, ANZA KUKATA HATUA ,ONGEZA NYINGINE THEN RUHUSU USIKU UINGIE SIKU NYINGINE IONEKANE THEN RUHUSU MWANGA KATIKA MAISHA YAKO.....HAYO NDIYO MAISHA NDUGU YANGU....POLE SANA.

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Jamani nnunu, shukrani sana mpendwa..maneno yako ya faraja na nimelia wewe mpaka muda mwingine nikitaka kulala usiku machozi yanatiririka..kweli ni changamoto, naomba Mungu nimsamehe na kutoendeleza hasira..

merytina said:

kama vile unausemea moyo wangu kipindi hivi.

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Imewahi kukutokea mpendwa?kweli mapenzi kizungumkuti

Nyamayao said:

ivi inakuwaga tunapenda tucpopendwa au ni vipi jamani, unajitoa/unampemnda mtu kwa moyo mmoja mweupe but ndio wa kwanza kukuumiza, BJ my dia, wengi tumetokea huko, inauma/umiza sana, wengine tuliona kama maisha hayawezi kuendelea tena but namshukuru Mungu kuweka kitu "kusahau"...tulisahau tukasonga na maisha tukapata waliotupenda/kutujali na maisha yanaendelea, jipe moyo mami...pole sana.

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mpenzi nashukuru sana..nimeshindwa mwenyewe kuelewa kama ni upendo au hakuvutiwa na kitu ila suala linabaki pale pale angeniambia ukweli hakika nisingeweza kumng'ang'ania..Okay alinitafuta baada ya kuoa na kutaka kunipa maelezo, jamani kweli hiyo ina maana gani?!au ndiyo kutaka kujisafisha wakati ni too late..
kusahau na kusamehe inasaidia sana vinginevyo sijui tungeishije..mapenzi kweli ni milima na mabonde, tunapitia mengi! Mola aniongoze! ubarikiwe mpz

Living in the past causes you to miss out on the present. Life is too short to let it pass you by.

Pearl said:

Move on. When you feel you are ready to open your heart again, find someone else to be with.
Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.

Put away the memories. When you regain composure from step 2, put the remainder candy wrappers, music, item of smell memory in the box with the rest of the memory debris. Keep out the picture.

• Every day for a week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud, "Forget you and the horse you rode in on," or some other suitable invective and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop. Say it out loud, be your filthy angriest self in these mutterings.
• Every day for the second week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud. I miss you, and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop.
• Every day for the third week when you walk by the picture of your former soul mate, say I am sorry out loud to the picture.

Replace the picture of your former dearest, with a picture of yourself. But keep the picture in the same place, just put a picture of you on top of it. Then every day when you walk by the picture, say I am sorry out loud to the picture. Yes you are apologizing to yourself for having gone that far around the bend for someone who didn't know your value and worth, and who doesn't matter anymore.

Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.


Practice being honest to yourself every day. In fact, be honest to everyone. Living in the truth of every moment will allow you to carve your way to a better relationship the next time around.


Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.


If you feel ready, start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months. Be careful about how you mention your ex to people you date, others can easily tell where your heart still truly lies and if just the mention of your ex's name makes your eyes well up, then you definitely need more time to heal before seeing other people. Jumping from one relationship to the next will not make you feel better in the long run as unresolved issues will appear in your new relationship.


Speak to people. Speak to friends. They have all been through the same and will gladly help ease your burden of dealing with a broken heart.


How to Heal a Broken Heart - wikiHow

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Pearl dear, thanx in deed nimepitia hiyo nakala..Thanx for sharing as well ktk kipindi hiki!

Salma osman said:

all i can tel u jus move on wid lyfe,everythg has reason in this world that is why God has decided 2 b that way.ma dea stop stressing urself make urself happy jus 4get abt him nd move on its nt the end of world!

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Salma mamii, thanks. Sure, I have to move on mana that's the reality!!.I'm so glad distance inasaidia mana vinginevyo sijui ingekuwaje kuwa nae hata mji mmoja..

sweetlady said:

Naumia kama vile ni mimi. Pole BJ. Fanya maombi sana, yatasaidia kuondoa hizo hasira. I hate wanaume matapeli wa mapenzi!!! Ni vile hatuwezi kuwatambua, wanajua kuigiza hao. Laana yetu na iwe juu yao.

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Sweety hapo mimi ndiyo nilipoumia, kwanini hakuniambia hata kama kuongea angeshindwa hata email angeniandikia au kumtuma mtu..kweli hata yeye nikimweka kwenye nafasi yangu sasahivi sijui angekuwaje?!!!...He was so nice, charming and loving to me!..ila vyote amefunika na ukatili aliofanya!Huyu mwanaume,mmh nakosa jibu kabisa..
Nafanya maombi, Mungu kwa kila kitu maishani mpaka leo na aniwezeshe kukabiliana na hii hali..thanx mamii!!

Bubu Ataka Kusema said:

Pole sana BJ. Najua hili linakupa shida sana kwa jinsi ulimvyompenda huyu mtu na hatimaye kukusaliti katika penzi lenu ambalo wewe ulidhani kwamba lilikuwa na bright future. Jitahidi tu ili uweze kuendelea na maisha yako ingawaje kuna siku utakuwa unaelemewa sana na mawazo tele na si ajabu hata kulia sana ukikumbuka mlivyokuwa pamoja na jinsi ulivyompenda na ahadi zake tele kuhusu penzi lenu. Pole sana.

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BAK, thanx a lot..kweli nilimpenda sana, kumjali na kumshirikisha kwenye mambo mengi kama alivyofanya...tena mbele ya macho na masikio yangu tulikubaliana mwisho wa 2011 tufanye kweli kuwa wanandoa. yani hiyo nimeenda kumsuprise ilikuwa ndiyo atanivisha pete mana tulitaka tufanye 'gathering' kidogo kwa vile tulipanga kumbe nikakutana na kisanga kingine..

Tangia nimemjua sijawahi kujutia kuwa nae mpaka baada ya hiki kitendo, yani tumekuwa na muda mwingi wote na muda mwingine mwingi tulikuwa mbalimbali ila sikuwahi kuona kitu cha ajabu kama nimemkwaza mpaka akanitamkia neno la kuachana au la..japokuwa nina mapungufu yangu kama binadamu wengine lakini siyo kutelekezwa hivi..so painful!!

For sure 'they say love hurts, but it is still the people behind that so called love who really hurt you'

Thanks for the clip as well, brilliant message!!

pole sana mpenzi
lakini ni safari wengi hupitia ni wachache sana wenye
bahati ya kupata mweza tangu mwazo naelewa machungu
unayopitia, vitu kama hivi vinaweza hata vikufanya uwachukie
wanaume wote, au unaweza hata kusema mi siolewi kabisa..

my dear
hatuna uwezo wa kusoma akili za watu
kwani tungekuwa na huo uwezo tungeepuka mengi..
na penzi ni kitu ambacho hatuwezi kukikimbia kabisa
kama we hutaa kaa upende atajitokeza akupendaye..
inauma sana pale penzi linapoenda upande mmoja ..

Sweet
Itakuchukua muda sana na inaweza kukuletea matatizo
mengine mengi, huu ndio wakati wa we kukaachini na
kujiangalia ni nini BJ anataka maishani, mpenzi anza ku
consecrated on you.. my dear your happiness comes first.

Pole sana Belinda! Kitu pekee tunachowezza kufanya ni kukupa moyo na kukufariji. Umefanya vizuri kulileta swala hili hapa kwani moja katika mbinu za kuponya ni kulizungumza hili na marafiki na jamaa zako. Kwa upande wangu, ninaungana na wale waliosema kwa namna moja au nyengine "Hata jambo baya lina uzuri wake", nikimaanisha kuwa "hukuwa unastahiki kuishi na mtu asiyejali kama huyo". Ni vyema kuwa hili limetokea mapema; Mungu kakuepusha na majanga mengi. Fikiria angekuja kukusaliti baada ya kufunga naye ndoa!, maumivu yake yangekuwa makali zaidi.

Baada ya kuondokewa, utapitia katika hatua hizi nne:
1. Kutoamini na kutokubali kilichotokea lakini ndio ukweli.
2. Kwa kuwa ndio ukweli, hili litakuuma sana,
3. Maumivu yataambatana na huzuni.
4. Mwisho utakubali matokeo na ukweli wa mambo. Ni maji yaliyomwagika.

Kwa ushauri jinsi ya "kukusanya vipande vya moyo uliovunjika", fanya baadhi katika haya:
- Kila unapowaza kuwa "Ninampenda na siwezi kuishi bila yeye", utakuwa unakumbuka mazuri tu uliyoyapata na mliyogawana kabla ya mambo kuharibika. Lakini kama unavyokiri kuwa "mlikuwa na matatizo yenu madogomadogo", ukweli ni kuwa hayakuwa madogo kama ulivyokuwa unafikiria. Yalikuwa makubwa lakini ukavumilia kwa sababu ulikuwa unapenda. Sasa ni wakati wa kuyafikiria haya kwa lengo la kukutoa katika mawazo ya kuwa kulikuwa na mazuri tu. Hii itakusaidia umuone kwa jicho jengine.

- Kimbilio lako la mwanzo iwe paketi za tisues - lia kadiri uwezavyo. Jifungie chumbani kwa muda unaotaka, hata masaa 24 mfululizo, lakini ukitoka hapo, jufute machozi na kumbuka "Maisha yanaendelea". Kama ulivyokwisha shauriwa kabla, kimbilio lako la pili iwe marafiki, wazazi, ndugu au jamaa wa karibu. Hakuna tiba nzuri kama kupata bega la kulilia, hasa likiwa la mama, dada, au rafiki. Pamoja nao au peke yako, tembea/tembeeni sehemu za wazi. Epuka vilabu kwa kipindi hiki.

- Kama una uwezo, tafuta mnyama wa nyumbani, hasa mbwa au paka. Huyu atakupa mapenzi yote bila kukudai saaaana zaidi ya mlo wake na kumjali.

- Jiunge na kozi, masomo au amali ambayo daima ulikuwa unahamu uifanye. Muda wako mwingi utakuwa unashughulika na hili badala ya kukaa kumfikiria au kusubiri miujiza...AMESHAOA,hakufai, hakustahiki.

- Fanya kazi za kujitolea kama vile kuwahudumia wazee, watoto na makundi hitaji.



KANUNI YA DHAHABU: KATIKA KIPINDI HIKI CHA KUUGUZA, USIMSOGELEE; USIMTAFUTE; USIMRUHUSU KUTAFUTA FARAHA NA WEWE NA KUMWACHA AKUMWAGIE UONGO

Belinda,all other things being equal I am ready to step in his shoes

Jamani hii dunia ina vituko,

Ni jambo la ajabu binadamu kumfanyia mwenzio mambo ambayo kwa hakika wewe mwenyewe si tu usingeyapenda bali usingemudu kuyakabili.

Hata hivyo sitashangaa baada ya muda si mrefu kumsikia narudi na nyimbo za kshenzi shenzi kuomba msamaha.....Nin ushahidi wa watu wengi wa namna hii (wakiwemo ME na KE) ambao wameishia kuishi maisha yao yote na vivuli vya wachumba wao waliowatenda.

Cha msingi BJ ujiandae kumweleza kuwa hakuwa wa kwako na nafasi yake ameizamisha baharini mwenyewe. Kama unaweza, basi msikilize ili upunguze maswali kibao kichwani...ILA SIKU ZOTE MWELEZE KUWA...HE CAN GO TO HELL AND NOT BACK TO YOU.

Mzee DC.

Pole sana ndg yangu, jipe moyo mkuu, mume wako atakaye kupenda na utakayempenda zaidi ya huyo Mungu anamjua ndiyo maana hakuruhusu uolewe na huyo, wewe ulidhani ndiye kumbe huyo si mume wako. Muombe Mungu usamehe yote na uachilie kabisa then utamshangaa Mungu, pole ila jua yupo utakayempenda kuliko huyo, ataletwa kwako mara. Vumilia kidogo

Mo-TOWN said:

Pole sana kwa mkasa huu. Inawezekana sana kuwa unaumia na kuhukumiwa labda kwa namna moja au nyingine ulichangia mpenzi wako kukuacha. Nisema mpaka utapokuwa wazi utaweza kusaidiwa kimawazo vizuri zaidi ili uweze kumove on na kuepukana na kadhia kama hii hapo siku za mbele utakupo kuwa tayari kuwa na mahusiano tena.

Si rahisi tu kusema msahau move on etc etc. Hapa kunakuja ugumu mmoja kutoka na kiwango cha mahusiano kilipofikia kwa mtu aliyekuwa serious ni vigumu sana na ni rahisi kwa mtu ambaye alikuwa anapita tu na hakuwa na malengo ya ukweli.

Kwa hiyo ili kusaidiwa vizuri naomba uwe wazi zaidi, vinginevyo ushauri utaopata hautakuwa na mashiko sana. Kwa mfano ulivyo-ipresent hii issue ni kwamba huyo bwana ndio alikuwa na problem!! is that so? ukiangalia tena unaona huyu bwana ameshao baada ya kuachana nawe. Hapa napata picha kuwa naye labda alikuwa serious ktk swala la ndoa. Kwa kuwa hatuna details fulani mimi kwa mfano nitabaki kuspeculate kuwa wewe ni sehemu ya tatizo lililokukuta labda wote mlikuwa serious ktk swala la ndoa lakini objectives zikawa tofauti. Again pole sana ila jitahidi kujua kwa nini ilitokea hivyo ili iweze kukusaidia ku-heal hayo majeraha ya moyoni ikiwa ni pamoja na kukubaliana kuwa hali ndio hiyo.

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Ndugu yangu asante kwa maono yako. Naomba nikwambie kitu kuwa mimi ni mtu mzima, ingekuwa tumekwaruzana na kuachana wala nisingejisikia hivi. Mimi siyo malaika ila sioni kitu gani nimechangia cha ajabu mpaka kushtukizwa hili jambo. Pia kumbuka angeniambia mbona ningeumia na kujiandaa kiakili hatimae kukubaliana na hilo suala mana nisingeweza kumzuia hata kama nampendaje.

Nimejaribu kutoa short story mana nimeshindwa kuielezea kiundani zaidi kwa vile imetokea karibuni. Nilivyoiweka hii issue ni kuwa nimeshtushwa na jambo la mwenzangu kuoa wakati tulikuwa serious sisi kuoana mwishoni mwa 2011, sijui imenipata. Sasa kama alikuwa na tatizo najiuliza kwa nini hakunishirikisha? kama vile kuniambia tisingeweza kuwa wote au kampenda mtu mwingine na hivyo mimi na yeye basi. simpo as that!

Kweli tulikuwa serious na sijawahi kupinga jambo lolote kuhusu ndoa alivyogusia na tukakubaliana..unajua nini, natamani mwenyewe nipate jibu la hili swali ila sina kwa sababu ukweli anaujua mwenyewe jamaa. Hata kama angeniumiza kuambiwa ukweli ila ungesaidia sana na ningekabiliana nao na maumivu yake.

Shukrani kwa mtazamo wako..

I can feel u...i am going through the same thing....:'(

BelindaJacob said:

Ndugu yangu asante kwa maono yako. Naomba nikwambie kitu kuwa mimi ni mtu mzima, ingekuwa tumekwaruzana na kuachana wala nisingejisikia hivi. Mimi siyo malaika ila sioni kitu gani nimechangia cha ajabu mpaka kushtukizwa hili jambo. Pia kumbuka angeniambia mbona ningeumia na kujiandaa kiakili hatimae kukubaliana na hilo suala mana nisingeweza kumzuia hata kama nampendaje.

Nimejaribu kutoa short story mana nimeshindwa kuielezea kiundani zaidi kwa vile imetokea karibuni. Nilivyoiweka hii issue ni kuwa nimeshtushwa na jambo la mwenzangu kuoa wakati tulikuwa serious sisi kuoana mwishoni mwa 2011, sijui imenipata. Sasa kama alikuwa na tatizo najiuliza kwa nini hakunishirikisha? kama vile kuniambia tisingeweza kuwa wote au kampenda mtu mwingine na hivyo mimi na yeye basi. simpo as that!

Kweli tulikuwa serious na sijawahi kupinga jambo lolote kuhusu ndoa alivyogusia na tukakubaliana..unajua nini, natamani mwenyewe nipate jibu la hili swali ila sina kwa sababu ukweli anaujua mwenyewe jamaa. Hata kama angeniumiza kuambiwa ukweli ila ungesaidia sana na ningekabiliana nao na maumivu yake.

Shukrani kwa mtazamo wako..

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Red: Sio rahisi kama unavyodhani kwa mtu kumface mtu kumweleza ukweli kwamba anataka akuache na ana mchumba mwingine, ukizingatia alishakuahidi. Alichokifanya jamaa ni kama wengi wafanyavyo. Msamehe bure tu.

Blue: Ni kwakuwa hukutaka kumsikiliza alipotaka kukueleza what happened, then itaendelea kukutesa rohoni hadi uujue ukweli. (Kama utataka kumpa nafasi ya kukueleza kilichotokea, which is good to know. itakusaidia kupunguza donge ulilonalo).

Mapenzi yanaumiza sana nashindwa kujua kwa nin mtu anaahid kitu ambacho hawez anajua hawez timiza anakupa tumain baadae anakugeuka anakuumiza! Pole sana mpendwa yametukuta hayo umenikumbusha mbali sana, usikate tamaa utampata ambaye atakusahaulisha yote chaguo toka kwa mungu shukuru tu kwan ujue kuna jambo mungu kakuepusha simama kuwa imara futa machoz endelea mbele!

Kadudu said:

pole sana mpendwa,
wanaume wanachukizwa na vitu fulani fulani vinvyopelekea kuachana na wapenzi wao..mtafute hata kupitia mtu mwingine akueleze sababu ya KUKUACHA,
Ninauhakika ipo sababu huwezi achwa bila SABABU,tafadhali mtafute atakueleza pengine hapo mwanzo HUKUMSIKILIZA ndio maana KAKUACHA.
JIONO NJEMA

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Mi nashauri asimtafute, itamuumiza zaidi, vip akiambiwa kuwa sikuwahi kukupenda au

mchumba wangu alikuwa mbali ndo maana nikawa na wewe acha kabisa ataumia sana, hata kushinda JF inapunguza stress,

My dear BJ kila jaribu lina mlango wake wa kutokea, omba uonyeshwe mlango!

pole ma dia lakn you need 2 go on wit ur life whether u like it or not!! wote 2lipitia huko na 2liumia sana lakini sasa 2meshayaweka pembeni na 2nasonga mbele kabsa. hata ukiendelea kukaa hivyo imeshatokea na haiwezi rekebishika!!!! continue wit ur life ma dia, that is ma advice 2u!!

dah! sijui kwanini nimeishiwa na maneno baada ya kuona hii sred na kugundua kwamba alieleta hii sred ni mrembo BJ.
all I can say for now. pole sana BJ and be strong to face it.

dah! hakyanani wazembe wengine ni wa kulogwa tu.

BelindaJacob said:

Ndugu yangu asante kwa maono yako. Naomba nikwambie kitu kuwa mimi ni mtu mzima, ingekuwa tumekwaruzana na kuachana wala nisingejisikia hivi. Mimi siyo malaika ila sioni kitu gani nimechangia cha ajabu mpaka kushtukizwa hili jambo. Pia kumbuka angeniambia mbona ningeumia na kujiandaa kiakili hatimae kukubaliana na hilo suala mana nisingeweza kumzuia hata kama nampendaje.

Nimejaribu kutoa short story mana nimeshindwa kuielezea kiundani zaidi kwa vile imetokea karibuni. Nilivyoiweka hii issue ni kuwa nimeshtushwa na jambo la mwenzangu kuoa wakati tulikuwa serious sisi kuoana mwishoni mwa 2011, sijui imenipata. Sasa kama alikuwa na tatizo najiuliza kwa nini hakunishirikisha? kama vile kuniambia tisingeweza kuwa wote au kampenda mtu mwingine na hivyo mimi na yeye basi. simpo as that!

Kweli tulikuwa serious na sijawahi kupinga jambo lolote kuhusu ndoa alivyogusia na tukakubaliana..unajua nini, natamani mwenyewe nipate jibu la hili swali ila sina kwa sababu ukweli anaujua mwenyewe jamaa. Hata kama angeniumiza kuambiwa ukweli ila ungesaidia sana na ningekabiliana nao na maumivu yake.

Shukrani kwa mtazamo wako..

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...wengine akili zinapowarudia, hujishtukia wameshaoa. Kwani huyo jamaa alioa kisiri siri kiasi kwamba
hata mashoga zako hawakujua/kukwambia? ...move on with your life. Why are you allowing yourself to be stuck in the past?

...kujiuliza kwanini ilhali majibu huna ni sawa na kung'ang'ania kupanda ndege iliyokwisha ruka.
tupa hiyo boarding pass, mlaani shetani usubirie usafiri mwingine!