'loyalty' between friends...Sometimes ngumu?

Kuna hii kitu loyalty(faifhfulness/commitment to obligation) kati ya marafiki iwe wenye mahusiano ya kimapenzi ama urafiki kwa maana ya urafiki tu.

Kati ya marafiki 'loyalty' ina umuhimu kiasi gani?
Na mfano mtu akashindwa kuwa loyal mara moja je kuna jinsi ya kurudisha hali ya awali?

Hii dhana/neno huwa linanichanganya sana hasa katika kuliishi na jamii ya marafiki.

Na unapogundua rafiki/ndugu yako amefanya crime utamuumbua au loyalty inatakiwa ichukue nafasi yake?

Naomba msaada wa kudadavua.

Inategemea alikosa loyalty kwa kiasi gani. Alifanya kusudi au kosa la kijinga tu?
Mimi ni mwepesi sana kuelewa, na najua kabisa hakuna mtu mkamilifu.
Nikiwa na rafiki, ndugu, partner, nahakikisha najua mapungufu yake
Pia nahakikisha anajua ni vitu gani siwezi kusamehe, na vitu gani naweza tolerate.

Labda niseme, tuondoe suala la cheating hapa kama urafiki utakuwa ni wa kimapenzi.

Kuna mambo mengine kama kusema kitu ambacho anajua kabisa hutapenda kama atadisclose kwa watu.

Au anagundua kuna kitu kinafanyika against na wewe halafu hakuambii.

Mwali said:

Inategemea alikosa loyalty kwa kiasi gani. Alifanya kusudi au kosa la kijinga tu?
Mimi ni mwepesi sana kuelewa, na najua kabisa hakuna mtu mkamilifu.
Nikiwa na rafiki, ndugu, partner, nahakikisha najua mapungufu yake
Pia nahakikisha anajua ni vitu gani siwezi kusamehe, na vitu gani naweza tolerate.

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Kongosho said:

Labda niseme, tuondoe suala la cheating hapa kama urafiki utakuwa ni wa kimapenzi.

Kuna mambo mengine kama kusema kitu ambacho anajua kabisa hutapenda kama atadisclose kwa watu.

Au anagundua kuna kitu kinafanyika against na wewe halafu hakuambii.

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Hata mimi sijasema kwa ku-cheat tu. Nimeongea kwa jumla,
masuala ya kiuchumi, ya kukashifiana etc.
Nimesema inategemea kama ni kitu muhimu sana kwangu,
Kama alijua hicho kitu ni muhimu, kama alijua anacho fanya wakati huo

hivi mfano ujue ndugu/rafiki yako ni wanted na watu fulani.

Na unajua kabisa alifanya kosa, kama ukifahamu alowakosea wanatafuta details zake, utawapa hizo info?

Mwali said:

Hata mimi sijasema kwa ku-cheat tu. Nimeongea kwa jumla,
masuala ya kiuchumi, ya kukashifiana etc.
Nimesema inategemea kama ni kitu muhimu sana kwangu,
Kama alijua hicho kitu ni muhimu, kama alijua anacho fanya wakati huo

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loyalty is two way street......
to demand loyalty na wewe uoneshe hiyo loyalty....

kwangu mimi i dont demand loyalty that much...
huwa naacha 'a room for dissapointment'

i am my own best friend...........

ngoja nipate somo

ukijua mapungufu ya rafiki yako, ukimjua vyema rafiki yako utamchukulia jinsi alivyo... Automatikale utakuwa loyalto him/her.........

Na inategemea urafiki wenu umeshiba kiasi gani, na kosa alilofanya limevuka mipaka kiasi gani .....

Ina mix kimtindo loh!!!!!!!

Loyality ina limitation, ukinyamaza utakuwa unafuga criminal.

can you sell your mother/father/mtoto/ndugu wa damu??

MadameX said:

Loyality ina limitation, ukinyamaza utakuwa unafuga criminal.

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Nadhani sijapata maelezo ya kutosha, asanteni wachangiaji.

Kongosho said:

Nadhani sijapata maelezo ya kutosha, asanteni wachangiaji.

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.
Usiende mbali, bado wanakuja..

Kongosho said:

can you sell your mother/father/mtoto/ndugu wa damu??

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Hapana aisee

Kongosho said:

hivi mfano ujue ndugu/rafiki yako ni wanted na watu fulani.

Na unajua kabisa alifanya kosa, kama ukifahamu alowakosea wanatafuta details zake, utawapa hizo info?

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Kama aliwakosea mi siwezi kumtoa, ila nitamwambia ni bora ajitoe mwenyewe.
Kuna rafiki yangu wa karibu alikua na mchumba wake, wakati wamesha panga hata date ya ndoa
Nikagundua rafiki yangu was cheating on him. what I did was to convinve her to stop her cheating
but pia kusimamisha harusi hadi pale alipohisi yuko tayari. Kuwajibika ni lazima, but siwezi kumtoa.

Unaona inavyokuwa ngumu
Huwa nashindwa kujua mpaka uwe wapi sometimes.

Kbd said:

Hapana aisee

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Nadhani approach hii ni nzuri kwa case hii.

Imagine unam-convice mtu ajitoe wakati unajua akijitoa anafungwa.

Mwali said:

Kama aliwakosea mi siwezi kumtoa, ila nitamwambia ni bora ajitoe mwenyewe.
Kuna rafiki yangu wa karibu alikua na mchumba wake, wakati wamesha panga hata date ya ndoa
Nikagundua rafiki yangu was cheating on him. what I did was to convinve her to stop her cheating
but pia kusimamisha harusi hadi pale alipohisi yuko tayari. Kuwajibika ni lazima, but siwezi kumtoa.

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Kongosho said:

Nadhani approach hii ni nzuri kwa case hii.

Imagine unam-convice mtu ajitoe wakati unajua akijitoa anafungwa.

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Kama hakuna uwezekano wa kunaswa nitachuna tu.
Ben Laden angekua ndio mume wangu mfano,
NIngejaribu kum-convince ajitoe, hata kama ni mbaya kwake.
Inategemea pia how big is the offence, how guilty I will feel protecting him.
Sidhani kama nitakuja kumtoa, but naweza kuamua kukata mahusiano.

It all depends aisee.. . .
Kwanza how loyal is that friend/ndugu to you and just how much of a price you might have to pay for protecting him/her. Siwezi mkingia kifua kuzuia kisu mtu ambae najua mimi hata kuniwekea mkono nisikanyage maji machafu hawezi, labda kama nilimzaa mimi.

Kuna watu ambae ni takers, yani wao wanapenda kupewa kila kilicho kizuri but they never give. Sasa mtu kama huyo kujifanya eti wewe ni loyal kwake no matter what ni ujinga. Ndio yule unajikuta matatizoni kwaajili yake alafu ye haoni kama ulimsaidia kwahiyo hata pole hakupi. Soma watu, elewa watu, wapime watu ndio ujue kama wanastahili loyalt toka kwako na kwa kiasi gani.

Yani hapa umegusa mahali ambapo I always ask myself the same!
Kwa kweli ukiwa na positive judgement ya events and people-usipotaka muonea mtu yeyote kwenye matendo na maamuzi yako utakuwa free! Rafiki yako akitenda kosa if he/she is a real man/woman then she/he has to own and face his/her mistakes. Loyalty hapa ni kumsaidia positively aweze kukabiliana na uharibifu wake na usiseme si rafiki yako kwa sababu kafanya hivyo!

Ila sasa what If mtu ata'betray' your trust and loyalty? Kwa kweli hawa mioyo yetu inawakataa kabisaaa mwanzoni. Ila with time unaona faida zao kwenye maisha yako unawasamehe. Ndo maana mimi huwa nasema kuna mambo ambayo their only solution ni time! Ndo maana mtu akiachwa ujanja ni kuwa very busy na baada ya siku/miezi/mwaka unachukulia kawaida. So if someone betrays your loyalty just hold on an time will redeem the things you lost in the rain....

Lizzy said:

It all depends aisee.. . .
Kwanza how loyal is that friend/ndugu to you and just how much of a price you might have to pay for protecting him/her. Siwezi mkingia kifua kuzuia kisu mtu ambae najua mimi hata kuniwekea mkono nisikanyage maji machafu hawezi, labda kama nilimzaa mimi.

Kuna watu ambae ni takers, yani wao wanapenda kupewa kila kilicho kizuri but they never give. Sasa mtu kama huyo kujifanya eti wewe ni loyal kwake no matter what ni ujinga. Ndio yule unajikuta matatizoni kwaajili yake alafu ye haoni kama ulimsaidia kwahiyo hata pole hakupi. Soma watu, elewa watu, wapime watu ndio ujue kama wanastahili loyalt toka kwako na kwa kiasi gani.

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Hi lizzy, how are you doing today?