Maamuzi magumu...!

Mbu

i have a naive philosophy when it comes to type za watu wa kuwa na ex- and then ex- and then new one and then all grouped into one pot!! 99% of time huyo mtu anakua hajaamua anataka nini. it is different from one asking (one thread brought by MJ1, kuhusu mshefa, where the lady knows what she want, a husband back)....

Type ya huyo mdada ni opportunistic, and i have three reasons
  1. one, opportunists always play victim
  2. opportunists never cut ties, wanaweka akiba ya kesho
  3. opportunists dont make firm decisions
she passes all three!!!

Now coming to the abuse, they say once beaten twice shy.... is it her bad choices?? it that she is very unlucky?? [someone else star]?, or is it she is the precursor of those abuses?? or probably everyman is abusive??

My advice kwake sina, coz wanawake wa namna hiyo hata uwashauri vipi, they will go back behind your back and do exactly opposite the advice... its from experience mkuu naongea haya. nina ndugu, nina rafiki nk. and i can affirm by just looking at the comment kwamba huyu bwana wa tatu ni ok tu, maa'an, in love there is no ok, there is super, brilliant, perfect, hot etc. it shows she is not fully excited and too bad for the dude

I betcha she secret;ly spend time with the others (intimate) and the new guy ni insurance policy tu, and if we give her one year, she will come back with teh same story kwamba na huyu wa tatu ni abusive

THOSE ARE MY SENTIMENTS AND BY NO MEANS I DONT LIKE THE GIRL, BUT I AM JUST HITTING THE CORE/NUCLEUS... THE BEST WAY TO CHANGE THE WORLD IS TO BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE, I DONT SEE IT THERE BUDDY

BTW, HONGERENI NAONA MMEMUOGESHA MTOTO (CHELSEA) KIBARAZANI LEO
 
Chauro said:
mambo ya mapenzi magumu sana pamoja na ushaur mwisho wa siku ni yeye mwenyewe anampenda nani
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tHANK YOU VERY MUCH CHAURO....Its like you were in my mind

Huwa tunahangaika kweli na ku-break chains, lakini siku ya mwisho we run to our hearts shelters!! and in most cases, ndani ya kuta nne where no one sees our laughters or joy, halafu tukitoka nje tunahangaika na misaada ya kimawazo

Mie nimekoma na mapenzi kabisaaa, coz hayana formula wala nini... sometime unakaa unajiuliza why do i think of x while y is the best gift on earth??? and out of blue unasema whay is y sometimes not doing me right?? and later wow... x is the bomb etc. and if you are blessed in a abd way then you will end up with z, q, n,m, h, i, j mwisho unaishia kuwa jalala

Life is a beach
 
I am also convinced with what you said. Huyu dada kuna uwezekano anacheat kwenye current relationship na past lovers wake; anatumia mafiga matatu theory.
Otherwise asingekuwa confused na three men eti achague yupi.

 
....alichokishika ndio chake,hata hiyo picha hapo inaonyesha!!
 
Reactions: Mbu

....very interesting, hiyo Go for priority not preference tunahitajika kuijadili kwa mapana na marefu...


...aiiiii? ati naive?...hapana kamanda mkuu...
umetoa nasaha nzuri sana hapa.

ila mwenzenu na shida sana na kukubaliana na mtizamo huu kama wa kwako,
kwani akili yangu hii ya kuunga unga na kuongezewa na ya kuchangiwa...inaniambia
tabia na maamuzi ya mtu yanakuwa influenced na malezi na makuzi yake.

mtu wa aina hii sipendi kumhukumu kwamba ati hana msimamo, bali naamini with time and support
atajijengea confidence ya kuwa na msimamo wake thabiti.
mara nyingi mtu wa aina hii huwa hajiamini amini, anajali zaidi watu wanamshauri nini kuliko mwenyewe ana
uamuzi gani.

ninaposema hivi hata mimi kufikia kumtafutia jibu muafaka wikiendi hii, ni kwasababu namjali naye naamini ananisikiliza
sana ushauri wangu. kumwacha apotee tu hivi hivi kwakuwa labda sio muaminifu itakuwa kana kwamba nimejikubalisha kushindwa kumsaidia kiumbe mmoja huyu ambaye kaacha wote anaofahamiana nao na kuja kuomba ushauri kwangu..

kashengo said:
Napita tu nimekosea jukwaa
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... https://www.jamiiforums.com/Images/Dynamic/Product/Zoom/GRP_0000000154.jpg
 
Mbu said:

...hapana, ni mwenzangu kazini...
angekuwa jf member ningemuachia aucheze mwenyewe mpira na maelezo mengi.
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Hah mbona unajiaminisha hivi Mbu? Would she reveal her JF ID to you? lol

My two cents:

Kusema ukweli huyo mdada anawezakuwa kwenye wakati mgumu si kwa sababu ni dhaifu bali pengine kwa kuwa hana msaada wa kutiwa nguvu. KWa sababu gani ninasema hivi ni kuwa kama aliweza kuwalk out from the abusive relationship in the first place, she is brave and all she need is just an encouragement kuwa what she did was right and kuwa she didnt deserve any abuses she received.

Ingewezekana kuwa karibu na huyo Mpenzi wake mpya ukamshauri awe anamtia nguvu, moyo na kumwonyesha kuwa bado duniani wapo wanaomvalue huyo mdada, duniani hakuna wanaume hao wa kwake tu (That is if naye huyu anampenda kiukweli and he is ready to make her catch up the love and happiness she misses huko nyuma).

La sivyo akisema arudi kwa any of the two guys itakula kwake mazima na pia itamfanya aishi na picha ambayo si sawa juu ya wanaume wote..including wewe mtoa ushauri.
Mpe both pros na cons za kurudi kwa ma-abusers na mtie moyo kuwa maisha ni kutake risks kwani wasotake risks huwa nyuma mara nyingi. (I believe kuwa she knows this just that may be she isnt get enough encouragement.
 
Dah Mbu hiuyu mdada ppengine tunawezasema anachanganywa na mambo mengi; kwa mtazamo wangu
1. Kwa kuwa huyu wa sasa (kama ulivyosema) ni mpya bado - pengine anahofia future yake lets say umri unaenda hana kitu stable (je ana mtoto/watoto) maana pengine hizo pasts zake hakujaaliwa mtoto na sasa amekwenda age so anataka mtoto au familia. Therefore anachanganyikiwa afanyeje of which hata ukimshauri arudi kwa mmoja wapo then atarudi kwa wrong reason- ili naye ahesabike 'mtu' katika jamii awe na normal family.
2. Pengine anachanganyikiwa na presha za 'baby come back' lol toka kwa hao ma-abuser. Na kwa sababu zimekuja wakati hana strong 'roots' kwa relationship ya sasa (of which inaeleweka- bado ngeni) basi anajiona anahang na kujikubalisha kuziwazia zile what ifs. Asipoangalia ataangukia mikononi mwa simba kote kote, whether akirudi kwa one of the exex au hata ikitokea huyu alonaye akaamua klumtangazia 'ndoa' surely she will ingia kwenye ndoa hiyo kwa wrong reasons na baadae anawezajikuta anarudi tena na kilio kwako!
 

true mbu... hata kukosa maamuzi yawezekana ni malezi, ni opportunism au risk avoidance

to be honest, if there were two guys ningeelewa, ilakini watatu?? tena ana track records kabisa kwamba huyu hajaoa tena, huyu ananiconvince, na huyu vilevile na huyu mpya yuko ok... no thanks bro!!! Someone is on metro line tena central Piccadilly line

Mie ni msimamo wangu na ningependa with MJ1 neing a good researcher and you being a good writer with our lawyer klorokwin tufanye cohort even monitoring hepo baada ya mwaka unaniambia kapiga 350 degrees and the circus continues

I BET MY NUTS ON THAT ONE
 

...khaaa, soulmate ulifichwa wapi nawe toka jana...lol!...
karibu tena jf....nimefurahi kukusoma, ila niruhusu nikuhakikishie
hana id jf, na wala haielewi lugha hii ya kimrima!

umesema vyema, labda kinachokosekana ni nguvu za ziada toka kwa mwenza
mpya, kiasi cha mdada kujiona mapenzi ya awali yalikuwa moto zaidi. I wish,
kama ulivyosema...kujaribu mshawishi huyo bwana aongeze moto...lakini mnh,
kwanza sifahamiani nae, pili atanishangaa nimeyajuaje haya, na mwisho wivu wetu wa'ume...
tena hawa wenzetu mnh!

anyway, kwa mtazamo wako mwj1 unaamini anahitajika kutiwa moyo zaidi?....ok,
kidogo kidogo napata picha kwanini mdada huyo kwasasa anajiona yupo njia panda.
 


Mbu hapa nakubaliana na wewe kabisa isipokuwa tu nadhani tutashindwa kuelewa ivizuri kama information alokupa ziko nusu nusu. Nina maswali kwenye hili
1. Je hao ma-Ex wake alivyoachana nao aliachana nao kivije? Mf. walishajaribu kutatua matatizo yao kabla ya kuamua kila mtu kushika hamsini zao? au ilikuwa ni yale mambo ya hacra za mkizi? BWana karudi saa tisa usiku basi mke kesho kafungasha kaondoka kiasi cha sasa kujuta kuwa pengine angecool down na kumwuliza alikuwa wapi labda wangeelewana? Hizo abuse anazozisema ni za aia gani? What were the extreme of the abuses kiasi kwamba nawe mshauri wake umeamini kuwa alikuwa abused na utaumia sana ukimwona akirudi kule? Kwa sababu inawezekana kabisa they were not abuses na hivyo sitashangaa kusikia kuwa anakula nyuma ya mgongo wa mpenzi wake wa sasa!!
 
Reactions: Mbu
ati???

can you confidently tell me kwamba huyo amekata ties na hao wa zamani? or do you sense enthusiasm kwa huyo mpya??

hebu ngoja niende zangu kunyoosha viungo mie naona kizunguzungu tu
 

Hah nilikuwa nimefichwa tena Soulmate? Hapana bana nilikuwepo sema tu nadhani mambo ya weekend tena!

Hapo kwenye blue inawezekana pia sio kuwa anayaona mapenzi ya zamani moto bali inawezekana akajiona hana jinsi!!

Lolsijui kwa nini nimejikuta namwonea huruma huyu mdada , hivi na wazungu nao kumbe wanakamatikaga eh? Nlikuwa najua ni kina MWanajamiiOne tu lol
 
MTM said:
ati???

can you confidently tell me kwamba huyo amekata ties na hao wa zamani? or do you sense enthusiasm kwa huyo mpya??

hebu ngoja niende zangu kunyoosha viungo mie naona kizunguzungu tu
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And can you do the same kwamba hajakata??? Hebu kaka stop blaming teh victim ichambue hii issue kwa kuangalia pande zote mbili kwa mizani sawa.

Nway post yangu ya pili imezungumzia upande wa pili pia. So am not biased.
 
Nikiendelea kuamini anavyoamini MTM; mheshimiwa Mbu bado unaweza kumsaidia kwa ushauri huyu mdada; though swali laweza kuwa "amwache yupi?' though wewe amekuuliza "achague yupi?". These are similar but different questions but the answer can address both of them.
 

...hahahahaha....dahhh maazee umeyachota mawazo yangu ukanipeleka hukooo oxford circus, via piccadilly circus kuelekea charing cross, leicester square au green park!----ZONE 1 hiyo dahhhhhhh!....long tym...

anyway....nakusikiliza maushauri yako mkuu, najifunza kitu kipya kabisa hapa, au sijui unanikumbusha? maana kwa sinema yangu
ilivyokuwa, starring, co starring na stuntman wote walikufa!

namsubiria mwj1 na klorokwini walete ufunuo zaidi hapa, maana Lizzy chauro na nyumba kubwa kama weshahitimisha vile...
 
Lizzy said:
Alafu Mbu tukiachilia swala la yupi anamfaa...yupi hatomla akammaliza yeye kama yeye ANAMPENDA YUPI?? Yani bila kujali manyanyaso..kutokujua ya mbeleni anampenda yupi?
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Lizzy mamito hapa umemaliza. Jibu la hili swali ndilo litadetermine ushauri wa Mbu kwa huyo mtasha!!
 

thanks bro for your understanding

in any sort of this nature (dilemma) the best way is to hvae two sides of the coin... most of you here have one side and i am bringing the other side ili kuwawakilisha hao wanaume watatu wasio na mtetezi... and i will stick to my gun because in our life siku hizi bila lawyer, hakuna kinachoenda, hadi wanetu wana tabia ya kusemeana hadi aje mwenzake ndio tupate ukweli wa mambo

I know nimewaboa baadhi especially MJ1 but i am 99.9% certain (na mimi sio sheikh yahya), utakuja kuniambia after a year kwamba bwana namba tatu katoswa kaonekana hafai tena bora mmoja kati ya wale wa kwanza au hata nwe guy kabisa amejoin.....

APOLOGIES KWA KUHARIBU THREAD YAKO MKUU NA NINAOMBA NISICHANGIE TENA KWANI NIMEONA DALILI YA KUKERA MTU FULANI NINAYEMHESHIMU SANA

BUT NAOMBA UHAI AFTER A YEAR I WILL ASK ABOUT HIS THREAD AGAIN... INSHALLAH
 

i LOVE NYUMBA KUBWA.... NGOJA NIKASHANGAE JUA NA MWEZI VINAMTUKUZA BWANA
 

Lol nadhani hii ni beyond the mada Mbu.....hapa tunamzungumzia mdada. We know nothing of the new man. Tumshauri kama utamshauri astick to new mkaka tufanye hiyo, yatakayojiri huko yatakuwa phase nyingine lol. Pengine kwa hali ya sasa mdada anamkosea mkaka mpya kwa kumbania hali ambayo si nzuri au kama alivyosema MTM inawezekana anamdhulumu kwa kucheat (hivi si bado ni cheating wajameni?) na one or both exes!!

Akijashindwana na huyo mkaka kwa sababu makucha yake mkaka ameshindwa yavumilia hapo tena halitokuwa kosa letu. But tukimshauri arudi kwa one of the exex au aendelee na Mkaka akijatendwa (Na sio kutenda) ndio atuletee blames zake otherwise hana kesi dhidi yako wala yetu,

Tena nambook Lawyer Klorokwini kabisa, atakudefend!
 
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