WORD- Aksante JouneGwalu hili nalo neno!.
All in all huyu mdada anatakiwa ajichungue haswa (kama hajajichungua) na kufanya maamuzi ya msingi.
Mbu ushauri wowote utakaompatia sisitiza afikirie kwa kina kabla ya kuamua.
Nimekuuliza Mbu huyu mdada hakujaaliwa kupata watoto? maana kama anao watoto, with this confusion yake ningemshauri asijiingize tena kwenye mahusiano, akae alee wanae lol!
...hehehe!....
aise umeiweka vyema sana...nitai print kisha nitatafuta mkalimani aniwekee kwa 'kidhungu,' maana mdada mwenyewe "...know what i mean" nyiiiingi!
Tena si kulianzisha tu asijetuumizia huyu shemeji yetu wa tatu loh!!!
Nawaza tu hivi wanaume wao huwa hawaabusiwi? loh natakamvika uanaume huyu workmate wake Mbu hah maisha matamu aisee
Hahahhaha....MJ bana!!!
Wanaume nao hua wanaabusiwa sema tu hawaongelei kwa uwazi kama sisi.
Na sasa hivi C anaabusiwa kihisia maana dada anamwacha ampende wakati dada mawazo pengine hata na mapenzi yake yamegawanyika kati ya A na B.
She is being quite unfair to C aisee!
jG hapo kwenye red hamna yeyote anaeweza kumuamilia huyo dada kwamba ni kweli au sio kweli alikua abused.
Kwasababu yeye ndio muhusika na ndio anaejua yaliyotokea na ni kwa namna gani yalimuumiza hivyo inabidi tuamini/kubali kwamba alikua abused kulingana na uelewa wake.
Inawezekana yaliyotokea yasiwe makubwa kwangu au kwako ila kama kwake ni makubwa basi inatosha.
WORD- Aksante JouneGwalu hili nalo neno!.
All in all huyu mdada anatakiwa ajichungue haswa (kama hajajichungua) na kufanya maamuzi ya msingi.
Mbu ushauri wowote utakaompatia sisitiza afikirie kwa kina kabla ya kuamua.
Nimekuuliza Mbu huyu mdada hakujaaliwa kupata watoto? maana kama anao watoto, with this confusion yake ningemshauri asijiingize tena kwenye mahusiano, akae alee wanae lol!
....dahhh, mwj1 hapa tukiingiza mtoto au watoto mjadala huu utachukua sura ya huruma zaidi...acha tuuachie hivi hivi hawa ma stelingi watatu, ...ambapo naona conclusion ya wengi imeegemea kwenye lawama kwa mwanadada awe na msimamo badala ya kumuumiza/kuwaumiza wanaume hao watatu...dahhh
kwahiyo,...ndio kusema kwa mtazamo wa wengi aendelee naye huyo wa tatu au?
Najiuliza pia what if MTM's theory (ambayo kwa kiasi kikubwa inaonekana kuhold water) ikawa ndio sahihi?! Hahaha but I reserve some cents kwa upande wa pili wa what if kweli huyu mdada yuko confused kikweli?? kuwa kweli alikutana na wakora (may be choices zake zina walakini) na wakamuumiza kiukweli, na the fact kuwa huyu wa sasa (ambaye mie ninamtetea kuwa kwa kuwa bado hawajajuana kivile anasuffer the consequences) biashara haijaeleweka, mdada umri labda unakwenda na yeye anataka familia lol anajikuta tu amechanganyikiwa!!
All in all to me nafikiri mweleze tu kuwa the best therapy lies in time! Ajipe muda wa
1. Kusort out kwanza kati ya hao Exes wake yupi yeye anahic akiambiwa chagua, atamchagua amrudie
2. Ajiulize prons na cons za kumrudia huyo ataemchagua (Hapa hana budi kukumbuka kuwa kama alikuwa ni abuser kweli (mdada awe genuine kuidefine abuse huku akiweka mkono wake katika kusababisha hizo abuse) basi uwezekano wa kubadilika kiukweli ni mdogo sana)
3. Ajiulize nafasi ya huyo selected Ex na huyu shemeji wa sasa (pamoja na kuwa hajamfahamu vema na kumtrust) anastand chance ipi ? na
4. Je if is not huyu shemeji wa sasa ambaye mwenyewe anasema yuko OK, anajiamini kuwa anawezapata mwingine ??
Najiuliza pia what if MTM's theory (ambayo kwa kiasi kikubwa inaonekana kuhold water) ikawa ndio sahihi?! Hahaha but I reserve some cents kwa upande wa pili wa what if kweli huyu mdada yuko confused kikweli?? kuwa kweli alikutana na wakora (may be choices zake zina walakini) na wakamuumiza kiukweli, na the fact kuwa huyu wa sasa (ambaye mie ninamtetea kuwa kwa kuwa bado hawajajuana kivile anasuffer the consequences) biashara haijaeleweka, mdada umri labda unakwenda na yeye anataka familia lol anajikuta tu amechanganyikiwa!!
All in all to me nafikiri mweleze tu kuwa the best therapy lies in time! Ajipe muda wa
1. Kusort out kwanza kati ya hao Exes wake yupi yeye anahic akiambiwa chagua, atamchagua amrudie
2. Ajiulize prons na cons za kumrudia huyo ataemchagua (Hapa hana budi kukumbuka kuwa kama alikuwa ni abuser kweli (mdada awe genuine kuidefine abuse huku akiweka mkono wake katika kusababisha hizo abuse) basi uwezekano wa kubadilika kiukweli ni mdogo sana)
3. Ajiulize nafasi ya huyo selected Ex na huyu shemeji wa sasa (pamoja na kuwa hajamfahamu vema na kumtrust) anastand chance ipi ? na
4. Je if is not huyu shemeji wa sasa ambaye mwenyewe anasema yuko OK, anajiamini kuwa anawezapata mwingine ??
hahahahahahahah! mwj1 nimecheka kwa sauti hapa ujue?
duuuuuhhhhh, MTM upo wapi kaka?.....
khaaa!, Lizzy, Nyumba Kubwa....mnamsikia mwanajamiione huyu?
hebu msomeni haswa hapo nilivyomuelewa mimi kwenye red...khaaa?
mwj1 nimezidi kukupenda kwa jinsi ulivyoukoroga tena huu uji...aisee!..
kazi kwao, ama wale mboga...au wasubirie uji wa ugali usowiva!
Hahahah Lizzy asa tusemeje maana bi dada inaonekana hajielewi kusi wapi kaskazi wapi ah! hebu ajipe muda zaidi kutafakari maisha yake bana. Na asiombe ikawa na huyo mkaka wa sasa alishagaumizwa huko nyuma sassa It wont be fair akaumizwa tena on the expenses of Exes bana!Dah asije akarudi kwenye misitu yenye simba kwa woga wa kukosa mwingine!!!
Mbu
i have a naive philosophy when it comes to type za watu wa kuwa na ex- and then ex- and then new one and then all grouped into one pot!! 99% of time huyo mtu anakua hajaamua anataka nini. it is different from one asking (one thread brought by MJ1, kuhusu mshefa, where the lady knows what she want, a husband back)....
Type ya huyo mdada ni opportunistic, and i have three reasonsshe passes all three!!!
- one, opportunists always play victim
- opportunists never cut ties, wanaweka akiba ya kesho
- opportunists dont make firm decisions
Now coming to the abuse, they say once beaten twice shy.... is it her bad choices?? it that she is very unlucky?? [someone else star]?, or is it she is the precursor of those abuses?? or probably everyman is abusive??
My advice kwake sina, coz wanawake wa namna hiyo hata uwashauri vipi, they will go back behind your back and do exactly opposite the advice... its from experience mkuu naongea haya. nina ndugu, nina rafiki nk. and i can affirm by just looking at the comment kwamba huyu bwana wa tatu ni ok tu, maa'an, in love there is no ok, there is super, brilliant, perfect, hot etc. it shows she is not fully excited and too bad for the dude
I betcha she secret;ly spend time with the others (intimate) and the new guy ni insurance policy tu, and if we give her one year, she will come back with teh same story kwamba na huyu wa tatu ni abusive
THOSE ARE MY SENTIMENTS AND BY NO MEANS I DONT LIKE THE GIRL, BUT I AM JUST HITTING THE CORE/NUCLEUS... THE BEST WAY TO CHANGE THE WORLD IS TO BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE, I DONT SEE IT THERE BUDDY
BTW, HONGERENI NAONA MMEMUOGESHA MTOTO (CHELSEA) KIBARAZANI LEOthanks bro for your understanding
in any sort of this nature (dilemma) the best way is to hvae two sides of the coin... most of you here have one side and i am bringing the other side ili kuwawakilisha hao wanaume watatu wasio na mtetezi... and i will stick to my gun because in our life siku hizi bila lawyer, hakuna kinachoenda, hadi wanetu wana tabia ya kusemeana hadi aje mwenzake ndio tupate ukweli wa mambo
I know nimewaboa baadhi especially MJ1 but i am 99.9% certain (na mimi sio sheikh yahya), utakuja kuniambia after a year kwamba bwana namba tatu katoswa kaonekana hafai tena bora mmoja kati ya wale wa kwanza au hata nwe guy kabisa amejoin.....
APOLOGIES KWA KUHARIBU THREAD YAKO MKUU NA NINAOMBA NISICHANGIE TENA KWANI NIMEONA DALILI YA KUKERA MTU FULANI NINAYEMHESHIMU SANA
BUT NAOMBA UHAI AFTER A YEAR I WILL ASK ABOUT HIS THREAD AGAIN... INSHALLAH
Sasa tusemeje Mbu? Maana huyu bishost kakufuata kuomba ushauri lakini kakupa masharti kama ya WB na IMF.........kuwa we nishauri tu lakini jua moyo wangu umeelemea huku. Kitendo cha yeye kukwambia kuwa 'this guy am seeing now is just OK' kina ujumbe mzito bana akha mie sasa karibu nitatangaza rasmi kuhamia kwa MTM ah mtu gani hateteeki? Huyu ni wa kumwachia Klorokwini anayependa pesa ndo ajikakamue kusoma mavitabu ya cases hapa akhu!hahahahahahahah! mwj1 nimecheka kwa sauti hapa ujue?
duuuuuhhhhh, MTM upo wapi kaka?.....
khaaa!, Lizzy, Nyumba Kubwa....mnamsikia mwanajamiione huyu?
hebu msomeni haswa hapo nilivyomuelewa mimi kwenye red...khaaa?
mwj1 nimezidi kukupenda kwa jinsi ulivyoukoroga tena huu uji...aisee!..
kazi kwao, ama wale mboga...au wasubirie uji wa ugali usowiva!
Well...Mbu kama dada hataki kutoka kwenye hiyo circle ushauri wa MJ ni valid....
Aangalie X yupi mwenye nafuu alafu alinganishe na wa sasa kisha achague.
Lol am getting curios hapa loh...............surely hapa MTM makes sense kabisa na ninampongeza kwa kuchambua vema. Sasa ni wewe Mbu unayemfahamu huyu mdada, nina maswali machache...kwa wale wasomaji wapya, hii ndio MTM's Theory....
...mwisho wa kumnukuu!...na tuendelee na mdahalo,...patamu hapa...!
Hahahah Lizzy asa tusemeje maana bi dada inaonekana hajielewi kusi wapi kaskazi wapi ah! hebu ajipe muda zaidi kutafakari maisha yake bana. Na asiombe ikawa na huyo mkaka wa sasa alishagaumizwa huko nyuma sassa It wont be fair akaumizwa tena on the expenses of Exes bana!
Mie nilishampa credits huyu dada kwa kuweza kuwa'mwaga' (Kama ni kweli hakumwagwa hahah) hao wakaka ambao amewadefine kama maa-buser sasa navunjika moyo kama anataka kurudi tena huko kwenye matapishi aloyatapika mwenyewe!! ah
...lahaula walauqwata.... Lizzy sasa nawe ume give ground?...umekubali matokeo?
ndio maana nikafurahi kumuona mwj1 hapa, maana najua ana nguvu ya ushawishi, mpaka
nawe umesalimu amri...?
anyway, kwanza nikuweke tu sawa...mdada huyu yeye sio kwamba hataki ushauri, la hasha...
shida yake amejikuta kwenye dilema hii kwa sasa,...na kama alivyotanabahisha mwj1...
kuna factors nyingi zinazoingia akilini kwanini yupo kwenye dilema hiyo...
zikiwamo;
tofauti na uzito wa mapenzi baina ya watatu hao, (the 3rd poor chap, anaishi huko UKraine,)
mazoea, (better the devil you know...) kutokana na anavyojijua mapungufu yake
umri, stability, ...nk...
kwa mtaji huu, nawe unakubaliana sasa na mwj1 katika hao ex-'s amfikirie
aliye na nafuu compared to the other two? ....lol!
...lahaula walauqwata.... Lizzy sasa nawe ume give ground?...umekubali matokeo?
ndio maana nikafurahi kumuona mwj1 hapa, maana najua ana nguvu ya ushawishi, mpaka
nawe umesalimu amri...?
anyway, kwanza nikuweke tu sawa...mdada huyu yeye sio kwamba hataki ushauri, la hasha...
shida yake amejikuta kwenye dilema hii kwa sasa,...na kama alivyotanabahisha mwj1...
kuna factors nyingi zinazoingia akilini kwanini yupo kwenye dilema hiyo...
zikiwamo;
tofauti na uzito wa mapenzi baina ya watatu hao, (the 3rd poor chap, anaishi huko UKraine,)
mazoea, (better the devil you know...) kutokana na anavyojijua mapungufu yake
umri, stability, ...nk...
kwa mtaji huu, nawe unakubaliana sasa na mwj1 katika hao ex-'s amfikirie
aliye na nafuu compared to the other two? ....lol!
Hahahah Lizzy asa tusemeje maana bi dada inaonekana hajielewi kusi wapi kaskazi wapi ah! hebu ajipe muda zaidi kutafakari maisha yake bana. Na asiombe ikawa na huyo mkaka wa sasa alishagaumizwa huko nyuma sassa It wont be fair akaumizwa tena on the expenses of Exes bana!
Mie nilishampa credits huyu dada kwa kuweza kuwa'mwaga' (Kama ni kweli hakumwagwa hahah) hao wakaka ambao amewadefine kama maa-buser sasa navunjika moyo kama anataka kurudi tena huko kwenye matapishi aloyatapika mwenyewe!! ah
Sasa tusemeje Mbu? Maana huyu bishost kakufuata kuomba ushauri lakini kakupa masharti kama ya WB na IMF.........kuwa we nishauri tu lakini jua moyo wangu umeelemea huku. Kitendo cha yeye kukwambia kuwa 'this guy am seeing now is just OK' kina ujumbe mzito bana akha mie sasa karibu nitatangaza rasmi kuhamia kwa MTM ah mtu gani hateteeki? Huyu ni wa kumwachia Klorokwini anayependa pesa ndo ajikakamue kusoma mavitabu ya cases hapa akhu!
Nilitegemea angesema anachanganyikiwa kuwa muda unakwenda, the GREAT GUT she is seeing right now hajapropose na hawa ma-exes wamefunga speed 120 na Baby come back. Then aombe umshauri how to assure the current guy kuwa shes over the past annd certainly wont be allured with their baby come back proposals. ... but lkumlinganisha the current man na hao alokwishawatoa maanani ah
Mbu pole on behalf ya huyo mdada.... Nimeobserve Great inputs toka kwa members mbali mbali na Ushauri ulosimama in most cases... Hopefully by the time umemaliza you get an answer in relation na tatizo... Nimepita hapa Mkuu.... Salsmu kwa wachangiaji wengine woote. Usiku mwema.