Maisha ya usingle mother je, how do I cope?

Nyalotsi · Jun 20, 2012

nyumba kubwa nakubaliana na wewe,mama ana power kubwa ya kumfanya mwanae awe na maendeleo au asiwe na maendeleo,hasa watoto wa kike. Ni watu wenye influence kubwa sana,lakini wanapotumia nafasi hiyo kupandikiza ujinga ndipo watoto wa ajabu wanapopatikana. Ndo maana wavunjaji wa ndoa wanaongezeka, single parents wamekuwa wengi na watoto wasio na baba anayefahamika wanaongezeka. Ni afadhali enzi za mitala kuliko siku hizi ambapo unamkuta mdada anawaza kuzaa na mume wa mtu kwa madai hana haja ya kuishi na mwanaume.

Jestina · Jun 20, 2012

wamama wengi wanavumilia ukiritimba wa waume zao,ili watoto wao wakue....wewe kwa ukiburi wako,ukamuacha mume ulee peke yako...nani alikuambia usingle mother ni kazi rahisi?...mnh na huu mfumuko wa bei mbona you are in for it!......bora hata kwa wenzetu kuna schemes kibao za kuwasaidia single mothers,hivi kwani bongo hamna sheria ya kumbana mzazi atoe child suport pamoja na kutenga muda wazazi waliotengana waweze kumuona mtoto wao each....:thinking:

Michael Amon · Jun 20, 2012

noella said:
Naandika post hii nikiwa sijui pa kuanza, il a kwa kifupi tu, nimeanza maisha mapya ya kuwa single mother.
mimi na baba mtoto havijawork out kwa kweli na imenibidi nifanye maamuzi magumu. ni mwanaume nimekuwa nae kwa muda wa miaka saba ila hatujaoana, tumefanya mambo mengi ya maendeleao pamoja,ila gafla tabia yake ikabadilika akawa ni mtu wa kunigombeza bila sababu, chochote nikifanyacho kwakwe ni kibaya,lugha anayotumia kwangu akiwa na hasira ni mbovu, ila at the same time anasema ananipenda,nimekuwa ni mtu wa kuumia moyo kwa muda wote huo,najiuliza ni kupenda gani kwa namna hiyo.

Hivi karibuni nimeamua isiwe tabu kila mtu aendelee na ustaarabu wake,yeye amekuwa akitumia mtoto kunisema nina roho mbaya, sina huruma na maneno kedekede,ila kusema ukweli nimevumilia vya kutosha na sasa nimeona basi inatosha, ninampenda ndio na ingetokea miujiza abadilike ningemrudia ila ndo hivyo.kwa hasira amegoma hata kumuhudumia mtoto anasema akifika miaka saba nimpe sasa hivi akimuona atasikia uchungu kisa mimi simtaki.

Kwa wenye uzoefu jamani naanzaje kuishi maisha ya usingle mother wakati kila siku lazima mtoto aulizie daddy au hata akilia atalia daddyyy dadyyy,nitakuja kumwambia nini akiwa mkubwa?na je nikija kuanza mahusiano mengine mtoto atanionaje?

Kwa kweli hiyo hadithi yako inaniwia vigumu hata kuchangia maana pande zote mbili kuna matatizo, kwako na kwake. Anyway ntarudi baadae ngoja nikalale kwanza.

zomba · Jun 20, 2012

Wewe umeishi kwa uzinzi kwa miaka saba. Leo unajidai kuuliza utaishi vipi na mtoto uliyemzaa kwa njia ya haramu? mtoto yeyote anezaliwa nje ya ndoa ni mwana wa haramu. Mlee ki haramu haramu na umpachike baba asiye wake.

Jestina · Jun 20, 2012

zomba said:
Wewe umeishi kwa uzinzi kwa miaka saba. Leo unajidai kuuliza utaishi vipi na mtoto uliyemzaa kwa njia ya haramu? mtoto yeyote anezaliwa nje ya ndoa ni mwana wa haramu. Mlee ki haramu haramu na umpachike baba asiye wake.

si mtu akikaa na mwanaume/mwanamke for three years kisheria wanatambulika kama wanandoa? utasemaje mzinzi?afu mwanao akiitwa mwanaharamu utafurahi?

BAK · Jun 20, 2012

PetCash said:
Pole sana dada @noella, Najua its so hard to raise a kid and most especially as a single mother.
Kwa kweli ladies labda niwashauri. If a man loves u enough lazima atatangaza ndoa! Achaneni na hao wanaume wengine wetu ambao wanaiponda ndoa takatifu na kusema wanajaribujaribu matokeo yake ni hayo mtoto then mnakuwa forced to live together then mara things are not working. Kwa nini tu usisubiri upendwe kwa haki na uzalie ndani ya ndoa?
Trust me ladies mwanaume hata akiwa player namna gani akikudondokea kisawasawa lazima atangaze ndoa ili asikukose na akumiliki kihalali....
Dada we tulia lea mwanao and there will come a man who will love you truly na utasahau kama uliwahi pata shida kwenye ndoa...Just pray, Mtoto atakuja elewa tu- kwani we ndo wa kwanza?

Jamani fungukeni rate ya watoto wanaolelewa na single parents Tanzania inaclimb sana!

Pole sana dada. Kwa maoni yangu kwa sasa usijiingize kwenye mahusiani mapya, labda jamaa anaweza kuona umihimu wako na kuamua kujirekebisha na hivyo kukuomba nafasi nyingine ya kuwa pamoja, na kama hakuna uwezekano wa kurudiana basi ni haki yako pale ambapo utaona uko tayari kuanza mahusiano mapya.

Hapo kwenye rangi umesema kweli kabisa Mkuu. Miaka ya nyuma hili tatizo la watoto wanaolelewa na single parents nchini kwetu lilikuwa ni dogo sana lakini miaka ya karibuni limekuwa likiongezeka kwa kasi ya kutisha. Watoto wanahitaji mapenzi toka kwa wazazi wote wawili ili kupata malezi bora vinginevyo inakuwa ngumu sana kwa watoto hao kupata matunzo bora pamoja na kuwa tuna extended family.

marrykate · Jun 20, 2012

wana tatizo gani walilelewa na mzazi mmoja

jamiif · Jun 20, 2012

Dada pole sana na kadhia hiyo, ila mimi naona UACHANE na huyu jamaa kwani kama ana mambo ya umalaya huko nje na wanawake wengine, hakufai kwani atakuletea maradhi ukafa siku si zako ukamuacha mwanao apate tabu tabu zisizo na msingi.

Jamaa anaonekana hizi starehe za wanawake ndio kwanza amezianza na hatamaliza leo wala kesho, na hapo anakutumia tu kama kipozeo cha haja zake...jiepushe naye kabisa, na mimi nakuombea kwa Mungu akufanyie wepesi katika kumtunza mwanao kwani kama hutakuwa na raha na huyu bwana kila wakati mnapigana, lugha za ajabuajabu mbele ya mtoto unafikiri atajifunza nini?

Itamuathiri kisaikolojia naye akawa mtu wa ajabu baadaye. Naamini akilelewa katika mazingira ambayo ni peaceful na hakuna mivarangati wala matusi, mtoto atakuwa mtu mzuri tu baadaye na hata km akibadilika basi ni yeye tu na akili yake but on your part, you played it well as a parent. Akikua atakuja kujua ukweli. Kila la kheri dada!

noella said:
Wapendwa, asanteni kwa michango yenu...

Ndahani · Jun 20, 2012

Elizabeth Dominic said:
Japokuwa umeamua lakini naona kama sababu za kuachana ziko katika nafasi ya kurekebishika kama bado mapenzi yapo ya nini kumuhangaisha mtoto kiasi hicho?

It takes two great hearts to work on resolving the relationship problems. Most of the time we separate for very selfish reasons either from both or one of the partners. Children become the victim of situation.

Sabry001 · Jun 20, 2012

noella said:
Asanteni wapendwa kwa ushauri wenu,napata faraja ninapowasoma.

Cha kushangaza sasa hivi when am fed up with his behaviour yeye ndo anasema ananipenda,eti alikuwa hajui maana ya kupenda mpaka alivyouliza kwa rafiki zake. Nashukuru sana Mungu nimeweza kutoka kwenye haya mahusiano maana nimeteseka mno.

He is so pathetic! Yaani maisha yake yanaendeshwa na vijiwe na marafiki? He is not man enough to u dia. Kaa nae mbali, usiintertain upumbavu wake, usimjibu msg, mpotezee, songa mbele. I dont knw why some men are lyk dogs? Anazalisha then anajidai sio wajibu wake? Wengi watakusema vibaya ila uhusiano ukishaambatana na vipigo, matusi hakuna faida ya kuung'ang'ania hata kidogo! Be strong, lea mwanao mwenyewe imagne amekufa ungekufa nae? Na ktk njia ya uchungu upitayo kwa sasa usimsahau Mungu wako, piga magoti, mweleze unataka nini, mwambie akupe nguvu ya kusamehe ili uchungu ukuhshe moyoni upate kusonga mbele. Be blessed Noella.

Ndahani · Jun 20, 2012

zomba said:
Wewe umeishi kwa uzinzi kwa miaka saba. Leo unajidai kuuliza utaishi vipi na mtoto uliyemzaa kwa njia ya haramu? mtoto yeyote anezaliwa nje ya ndoa ni mwana wa haramu. Mlee ki haramu haramu na umpachike baba asiye wake.

Eeeeh! Chonde chonde taratibu

Ndahani · Jun 20, 2012

Jestina said:
wamama wengi wanavumilia ukiritimba wa waume zao,ili watoto wao wakue....wewe kwa ukiburi wako,ukamuacha mume ulee peke yako...nani alikuambia usingle mother ni kazi rahisi?...mnh na huu mfumuko wa bei mbona you are in for it!......bora hata kwa wenzetu kuna schemes kibao za kuwasaidia single mothers,hivi kwani bongo hamna sheria ya kumbana mzazi atoe child suport pamoja na kutenga muda wazazi waliotengana waweze kumuona mtoto wao each....:thinking:

Jestina, kumbe ndo mambo yalivyo?

zomba · Jun 20, 2012

Ndahani said:
Eeeeh! Chonde chonde taratibu

Mtoto wa nje ya ndoa, huwa "wazee waliofanya haramu" wanampa mateso. Kila ajae nyumbani anamwita "baba". Ukiuliza eti "utamaduni wa Kitanzania", hakuna utamaduni wa zinaa. Ni maadili kuporomoka.

Vituka · Jun 20, 2012

Nyalotsi said:
wengi wao wamezoea kusikia mama zao wakilalamika,aah,mwanaume kitu gani? Mbona mi nimewalea mwenyewe? Na maneno mengine ya aina hiyo ambayo yana negative atitudes towards wanaume. Hivyo akiingia kwenye taasisi ya ndoa ukimkosea kidogo tu, anajua, ohooo..ndo wale wale! Hata kwa kosa ambalo ni la kurekebishana. Wengi wao ukikaa karibu nao utasikia kauli zao za kuonesha dharau kwa wanaume wakirefer kwamba mbona mama zao waliwalea peke yao hivyo mwanaume siyo chochote. Kuna wadada kama wawili nimesoma nao ambao nilikuwa karibu nao sana nilikuja gundua baadaye kwamba mama zao waliachana na baba zao na kuwalea wao as a single parent. Wana dharau mpaka hata we unayeongea nao muda mwingine unawakwepa.

Sidhani kama hao wadada wawili wanaweza kukufanya u generalize kuwa huoi msichana alolelewa na single parent. Anyway ni mtazamo wako tu ila ujue kuwa not all single mothers wanakuwa na negative attitudes towards men. Nina mfano halisi toka kwa my own mother, aliachana na first husband wake na aliolewa na my father! Sikuwahi msikia akisema anything bad about him!

BADILI TABIA · Jun 20, 2012

:A S thumbs_down::A S thumbs_down::A S thumbs_down::A S thumbs_down::A S thumbs_down::A S thumbs_down::A S thumbs_down::A S 112::A S 112::A S 112:

zomba said:
Wewe umeishi kwa uzinzi kwa miaka saba. Leo unajidai kuuliza utaishi vipi na mtoto uliyemzaa kwa njia ya haramu? mtoto yeyote anezaliwa nje ya ndoa ni mwana wa haramu. Mlee ki haramu haramu na umpachike baba asiye wake.

BADILI TABIA · Jun 20, 2012

kumbe ndo maana wengine wanashushiwa vipondo na waume zao mpaka wanakuwa walemavu au kufa.....
yote ni kwa sababu ya kukimbia majukumu...
kuogopa kupambana na maisha na kulea watoto wao.....

Jestina said:
wamama wengi wanavumilia ukiritimba wa waume zao,ili watoto wao wakue....wewe kwa ukiburi wako,ukamuacha mume ulee peke yako...nani alikuambia usingle mother ni kazi rahisi?...mnh na huu mfumuko wa bei mbona you are in for it!......bora hata kwa wenzetu kuna schemes kibao za kuwasaidia single mothers,hivi kwani bongo hamna sheria ya kumbana mzazi atoe child suport pamoja na kutenga muda wazazi waliotengana waweze kumuona mtoto wao each....:thinking:

Billie · Jun 20, 2012

Mandingo said:
Dada pole sana...
Situation kama hii iliwahi kumkuta mama nikiwa mdogo
na mama alichukua uamuzi kama wako na maisha yalisonga vizuri kabisa hata hata pale mama alipopata kuchumbiwa alinishirikisha na aliolewa na mtu mwingine na wanafurahia maisha
yao hadi leo na mimi namheshim
kabisa kama baba wa kunizaa
so usipoteze muda kabisa na huyo mshamba sababu he does nt respect your feelings.
Tulia then kuwa bussy na kutafuta
hela utapata anaekujali dada.

Mandingo? Hili jina linasound vibaya kichwani mwangu.To prove jaribu kuliGUGO uone.

Billie · Jun 20, 2012

Ushauri wangu ni kuwa jiweke busy sana onesha kuwa bila huyo baba yake dogo kuwepo una weza pia mfanye baba yake mtoto kama dead part ya maisha yako ili awe huru na upumbafu wake ila uwe tayari kwa ajili kumsamehe maana inavyoonesha jamaa anakupenda ila kinachomsumbua ni ile dhana ya wanaume wengi wa kibongo kuwa mwanamke ukishamzalisha huwa hana pa kwenda so fanya hayo hapo kuprove wrong kwa dhana yake.JITENGE NAE NO COMMINICATIONS KWA MUDA FULANI ILI AKUMISS IPO SIKU ATAKUJA KWA AJILI YA MSAMAHA ,hii itamsaidia aache huo utoto wake wa kijiweni kuutumia kulea familia.KUTENGANA KWA WAPENZI MLIOZAA NI LAANA ENDELEVU SIO TU KWA NYIE,wala MTOTO laana hii huendelea hadi kwenye mahusiano mapya na wapenz wenu wengine.AKIJIRUDI zungumzeni kuhusu ndoa kuachana ni jambo la mwisho usilishabikie dada.

kimatire · Jun 20, 2012

Breakups aren't just upsetting sometimes they can literally turn your life upside down. It's hard to eat; it's hard to sleep; and it's hard to think clearly. In this excerpt from her book, "A Girlfriend's Guide to Getting Over Him", author Sandra Ann Miller lays down the law for the brokenhearted. She has created 10 essential ground rules to prevent the recently jilted from making the most common breakup mistakes. So if you're puffy-eyed and couch-bound (or know someone who is) print out these ground rules immediately. Read them, repeat them and live by them until he's totally out of your system and trust me, eventually, she will be!
Before we go any further, you need to make some promises to yourself. Raise your hand and repeat after me...

I, (state your name), do, hereby, solemnly swear that I will not behave in the manner of a crazy ex-bf. I will not participate in foolish or destructive behavior. I promise to act in a dignified fashion and that means I will not do stupid things, no matter how I might rationalize them. Therefore, I vow the following: follow those 10 Rules

Ndahani · Jun 20, 2012

zomba said:
Mtoto wa nje ya ndoa, huwa "wazee waliofanya haramu" wanampa mateso. Kila ajae nyumbani anamwita "baba". Ukiuliza eti "utamaduni wa Kitanzania", hakuna utamaduni wa zinaa. Ni maadili kuporomoka.

zomba, mtoto wa haramu hana hatia yeyote maana hakuja kwa kujitakia. I will always support and sympathize with the kid...halafu mwanzo wa kuona watoto haramu ni lini? Mbona haya mambo yapo toka since immemorial.
Na la mwisho, kama wewe ni mzazi, mtihani unao ndani ya nyumba yako. Angalia isije haya kukukuta ukashangaa ya dunia.

Maisha ya usingle mother je, how do I cope?

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