Part Eleven : Farewell mom,
[emoji3589]Rose sees an opportunity.
2005
April 22,2005
Ni siku ya furaha sana maisha mwetu, tumempata last born, tumemuita Edson Jr II.
Baada ya kutoka hospital, tulifika nyumbani, mama alifurahi sana kupata mjukuu wa tatu. (kumbuka yeye alikuwa na watoto watatu).
Alimuombea, akamwambia kwa kuwa yeye ni kitinda mimba. Anapaswa kufata nyayo za baba yake. (hatukuwa tumeamua kuacha kuzaa, ila baada ya kauli ya mama siku zile, tuliamua kufungia pale.)
Mama alikuwa amezeeka sana, alikua na miaka 60. Tulifanya sherehe baada ya siku arobaini ya mtoto. Tulialika mama yake Rosemary na mdogo wake, na marafoki.
Mama alisema amefurahi sana kuwaona watoto wangu, alisikitika kwa kushindwa kuwaona watoto wa Violet.
Alitoa ujumbe wao nikamrekodi na kuwatumia wajukuu zake. Mama Aliongea mamemo mazito sana, kila mtu akafurahi.
**********
December 10, 2005
Ni kama mama alikuwa anatuaga siku ya arobaini ya Edson JrII. Alihakikisha kila mmoja amepewa neno lake, kumbe hatukujua.
Siku hiyo hakutaka Rosemary ampe chai, wala kumnawisha mikono.
Aliniomba nimkaangie mayai, nikamwandali lakini akataka tule wote. Nilifanya hiyo kazi, tulipoanza kula yai la kwanza akanilisha, na la mwisho akanilisha.
Kumbe mama alikuwa ananiaga. Tulimaliza chai nikatoa vyombo, nikamuuliza anapenda kula nini mchana. Mama akasema anatamani mchemsho wa samaki.
Nilitoka mida ya saa nne kwenda ofisini kwa Rose na kupitia ofisini kwangu. (Rose alikuwa na mtoto mchanga, hakuwa anenda ofisini kwake), lakini nikikumbuka nipitie samaki kabla ya mchana ili kiwe chakuka cha mama.
Nikiwa soko kuu Rosemary ananipigia simu mama hajisikii vizuri, nilifanya haraka kurudi nyumbani , nikakuta amelala, hakuamka tena mpaka leo.
Mama alifariki saa 6 mchana, Mama alikufa kifo cha kawaida, katika uzee wake wa mika 60, hakuwa anaumwa.
***
Nilimtaarifu Violet, akaahidi kuja kwenye mazishi, nilimsisitiza awalete watoto wamzike bibi yao.
Tulikamilisha maandalizi na taratibu zote, baada ya siku tatu Violet Alifika akiwa na watoto wake.
Tulimzika mama(RIP) pembeni ya mume wake, mzee Anthony (RIP).
Song: Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)
Album: A New Day Has Come
Artist: Celine Dion
Released: 2001
Genres: Vocal, Dance Pop
Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a man
And, mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime
of love
Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say, "goodbye"
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word, and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say, "goodbye"
Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a father
And, mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say "goodbye"
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word, and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say, "goodbye"
But the love you gave will always live
You'll always be there every time I fall
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness, and you make me strong
And I will always love you till forever comes
And when you need me
I'll be there for you, always
I'll be there, your whole life through
I'll be there, this I promise you, mamma
I'll be your beacon through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you till forever comes
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word, and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say, "goodbye"
Till we meet again
Until then
Good bye mama[emoji3064]
**********
Baada ya kumaliza msiba, nilimuomba kaka Edwin tuwe na kikao kuhusu familia yangu, nilitaka usaidizi ili kama utakuwepo na kutofautiana basi ajue namna ya kusuruhisha.
Nilifanya hivyo kwa kuwa niliumia sana na kifo cha mama, nilibaki speechless. Sikuwa tayari kuamua ugonvi kati ya Rosemary na Violet endapo ungetokea.)
Niliwatambulisha Violet na watoto wake kwa Rosemary, kisha Rosemary na watoto wake kwa Violet.
Walijuana kwa mara ya kwanza, nilichoshukuru ni Violet kuonyesha heshima kubwa kwa Rosemary japo anamzidi umri. Nikajua aliepata akapata.
Wote walifurahi kufahamiana, na watoto walipendana pia. Baada ya kuona hakuna tatizo kaka aliondoka kurudi kazini. Kaka aliondoka nikabaki Arusha nikiwa na Violet na Rosemary na watoto ndani ya myumba moja.
***
Baada ya wiki moja, Violet aliomba awachukue Elisa (turning 5 yrs) na Elise (turning 3 yrs) ili wakasomee Finland kwa kuwa kuna elimu bora sana.
Mwanzo Rosemary alitaka kupinga lakini nilimhakikishia kuwa watoto watakuwa salama, tukafanya utaratibu wa vibari kisha wakasafiri.
Ilibidi Rosemary aende nao ili kusaidiana maana watoto bado wa dogo, nilibaki peke yangu Arusha.
*******
Rosemary alikaa wiki mbili Finland kisha akarudi, tukiacha huzuni ya kupoteza mama, alikuwa amefurahi na kufarijika sana.
Siku nne tangu arudi alianzisha mazungumzo yaliyonifikirisha sana. Nilibaki najiuliza mke wangu kaona nini Finland? Angejua vizuri kuhusu Violet asingejisumbua
Rosemary: " Daddy nikuletee chai ama juice."
Edson: "Asante, ila naomba juice, chai nitakunywa baadae."
Rosemary: "Sawa daddy." "karibu juice mume wangu" ,
aliongea akiwa anaweka juice juu ya meza ndogo pale garden.
Edson: "Asante sana ua langu."
Rosemary: " Kwa hiyo mimi ua wewe nyuki, sawa nyuki wangu?."
Edson: "nitakung'ata mpaka ukome."
Rosemary: "Tuache utani, naomba tuongee jambo mume wangu, ila naomba usikwazike."
Edson: "kutoa ahadi bila kujua jambo lenyewe ni ngumu sana, ila wewe sio mgeni na mimi, naamini hutanikwaza."
Rosemary: "ni kuhusu dada Violet."
Edson: " mke wangu, usihofu kuhusu watoto, wako salama kabisa."
Rosemary: "tulia baba, sio hilo, nina jambo lingine kabisa."
Edson: "karibu na Kusikiliza."
Rosemary: " Asante daddy."
"Kwanza hongera kwa kuzaa na mwanamke mrembo vile, kweli mume wangu pale ulichagua."
Edson: " ammmh, umeanza sio?."
Rosemary: "hapna daddy sikuwahi muona, ni mwanamke mrembo sana, ndio maana ulinisaliti ndani ya wiki tu, nimeongea kwa kirefu sana na dada Violet, nimegundua bado anakupenda sana.
Sio rahisi kwa mtu asiekupenda kuchukua majukumu mazito kama yale. Kukaa na mtoto wa mtu sio rahisi daddy. Pia anakushukuru kila mara, ana moyo mzuri"
Edson:" mliongea nini huko?."
Rosemary: nilimdadisi kuhusu mahusiano yenu, alinieleza mambo mengi, ila zaidi hajaseba baya kwako, anakushukuru tu kwa upendo wako kwake. Anaonekana bado penzi lake kwako halijaisha."
" Fikiria angekuwa hakupendi, asinge kuja msibani, asingeomba watoto wakasomee kwake. Ana moyo mzuri sana. "
Edson:" inaonekana hamkubakiza kitu, haya niambie lengo la sifa zote hizo. "
Nilianza kupata mashaka, kuwa huenda Violet ameamu kulianzisha ili nigombane na mke wangu, aondoke, yeye apate nafasi.
Rosemary:" najisikia vibaya sana kuona mimi niliingilia penzi lako na Violet, sikupaswa kufanya hivo, yule Mwanamke anakupenda sana, nina uhakika hata wewe unampenda. "
Edson: "nani alikwambia uliingilia? mke wangu, hayo yalisha pita, tuangalie tunakoelekea. "
Rosemary:" nakuomba mume wangu, sikukosei heshima, nakuomba mfariji Violet, ana kupenda. Kwanza hata ukizuga hapa najua bado unatembeza nae. Huna uwezo wa kuficha ninachotaka kunja kwako"
Edson: " uko sawa kweli au, hayo ya kutembea nae yamefikaje hapa tena?"
Rosemary: " Niliamua kukuacha ili tuwe na amani, najua unanisaliti kwa Violet."
Edson: " unajua au unahisi, utaniamini lini"
Rosemary: " unafataga nini uturuki?"
Edson: " lini tena nimeenda huko?"
Rosemary: "muone macho yako tu yanakusuta, uwe unachoma moto zile tiketi kabla hujafika nyumbani."
Nilipigwa na ubaridi, nilikuwa nafungia zile tiketi kwenye safe yangu binafsi, kumbe safari ya mwisho nikaacha kwenye begi. (walisema za mwizi ni arobaini )
Edson:" uturuki naenda kibishara tu, sema una lako jambo. "
Rosemary:" hahahaaaaa, wewe huyo? Mume wangu huwezi uongo, tuache hayo, nilishajua najisumbua tu, kikubwa heshima na ujitunze, wajali watoto wako basi. Wanaume hamlizikagi."
Nikanyamaza maana nimekamatwa tena, sina utetezi. (kuchepuka fani.)
Rosemary: " kuweni huru, umfariji tu"
Edson:" ni mfariji vipi?, mbona unasema ananipenda, wewe vipi upendo wako umeisha kwangu?. "
Rosemary: "Hivi Edson, mimi naweza kuacha kukupenda? kisa nini?. Wewe ni zawadi niliyopewa na Mungu, tangu nilipokufungulia moyo wangu, sijawahi kufunga, huo usaliti unao nifanyia utajibu mwenyewe kwa kuvunja kiapo, mimi changu kiko pale pale."
"Nakupenda nawe unajua hilo. Nakuomba mimi mkeo, msipate tabu ya kujificha mrudie Violet. Anastahili kupata faraja ya mtu ampendae, usijifanye hujui hilo huku mnakulana, heshima iwepo.. "
Edson:" ndivyo alivyokutuma?. "
Rosemary:" huna uwezo wa kuachana nae ungeshafanya, hajanituma mume wangu, ni mimi nimekuomba na nimekuruhusu. Kwanza hamtakuwa mnaonana mara kwa mara maana yuko mbali. Inapotokea mmekutane, mtimizie furaha yake, hakikisha hutuletei magonjwa hapa. "
Nilichokigundua kwenye maongezi ya mke wangu, alikuwa na mashaka kama Violet atakaa na watoto wake muda mrefu.
Alitaka awe na uhakika wa watoto wake kusoma kule hatimae wawe na maisha mazuri. Akaona njia ya kuwa na uhakika, ni mimi kuendelea na Violet baada ya kujua siwezi achana nae."
Edson: " unanitafutia sababu tuachane au una lengo gani."
Rosemary: "jamani daddy, mbona umewaza jambo gumu hivyo. Mimi niachane na wewe niende wapi, nakosa nini kwako ili nikakitafute huko.,mbona sijaondoka baada ya kujua bado unanisaliti."
"Tafadhali mme wangu, sina sababu nyingine, natamani mwanamke mwenzangu nae apate furaha moyoni, najua maumivu ya mapenzi. Dada Violet anaumia moyoni, naomba ulitambue hilo mme wangu. Na mjiheshimu mna watoto sasa"
Edson:" Kwa hiyo uko radhi kuchangia penzi, kuchagia kitanda?. "
Rosemary:" penzi tulishachangia, na bado unanichanganya nae, huku mnakokuwa tunachangia kitanda." malizaneni huko huko sio ndani kwangu, nilichoruhusu tu ni msijifiche ila heshima iwepo, huna hata haya."
Edson:" akija hapa nyumbani, nini kitatokea".
Rosemary: " nimesema hapa kwangu big no, usinizarau kiasi hicho. Hilo usije kujaribu maana tutagombana."
Edson : "sasa nisije jaribu kwani nimekubali ombi lako?,
anyway nimekusikia ila nitakujibu siku nyingie, hasa nikishajua msimamo wa Violet kuhusu hili."
Rosemary: " Eti msimamo? Haya, dada Violet hawezi kataa maana ni mwizi mzoefu, atafurahi kupata ruhusa. Yule mwananke anakupenda, hata anavyokuangali kuna ujumbe machoni kwake, sema tu huwa humfatilii au unazuga nikiwepo.
Tulipia soga na mke wangu, moyoni nilikuwa na furaha kupewa ruhusa, ingawaje nilimkazia kama sitaki.
Nilimdadisi Violet ili nione kama nimetegwa, alionyesha kutofahamu chochote. Nikaamua sitasema neno, ila siku nikikutana nae nitamjaribu nisikie atasemaje.
Rosemary aliamua ku risk penzi lake kwa ajili ya watoto, mwanamke ni mtu wa ajabu sana.
Hatabiriki, leo Rosemary anampigia debe Violet kwa sababu tu ya kutamani watoto wake waishi ulaya.
*********
Wapendwa wafatiliaji wa mkasa huu, nawaomba radhi, sitaweka mwendelezo kwa siku mbili (Jumapili na Jumatatu). Kwa namna ya ajabu, leo nimefikia sehemu ya kifo cha mama yangu, na mama yake Rosemary amefariki leo.
Ninahudhuria mazishi ya mama mkwe (Mama yake Rosemary). Naweza kuwepo hewani ila Sitakuwa na utulivu wa ku-post mwendelezo. Mniwie radhi sana, nivumilieni. Jumanne kama kawa [emoji120]
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