namna bora ya kukiri na kuomba msamaha kwa akina mama.


gfsonwin anayeomba msamaha ndiye anapaswa kusema anataka suluhu iweje? mi nadhani aliyekosewa ndiye mwenye uwezo wa kutaja 'remedy'? e.g sitegemei mwanamke anayeomba msamaha baada ya kutoka nje ya ndoa aseme kwamba anataka atwangwe talaka tatu!

8)silaha kubwa sana kwa mama wakati wa kkukiri na kuomba msamaha hasa panapo makosa makubwa basi iwe ni upole na unyenyekevu wala isiwe maneno ya kuropoka na jeuri ama kashfa.
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'makosa makubwa' yanayoweza kufanywa na mwanamke ndani ya ndoa ni kama yapi?
 
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neno kubwa na la miujiza ni please sorry yaani magic words
 
gfsonwin hongera kwa kuwafunda wamama wenzio..
On my side siamini sana katika 'samahani'
Mara nyingi napima 'demeanor'..was it 'malice aforethought'? or just 'goodwill' or rather 'unintentional'?
Manake utasikia..'jamani si nimeshasema samahani'!!
 
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Kongosho, ndiyo inatakiwa iwe hivyo pale ambapo umetenda kosa ambalo limemuumiza mtu. Ni tabia ya kiungwana lakini wako wengine hata wanapotenda kosa huruka huku na kule ili kukwepa kusema samahani kwa sababu wanadhani kutamka neno hilo ni kujishusha.


Kongosho said:
mie kwa kweli nikikosa na nikaona nimekosa, na nikaona mtu kaumia, huwa naomba msamaha haswaa hadi niridhike kuwa nimesamehewa.

Ila wasameheaji wengine wanasamehe kiongo ongo, hapa ndio huudhi. Anyway hii inasaidia ukimpa muda wa kutafakari kwanza.
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BAK
I usually have a simple 'I am sorry' with no maneno mengi. Na mostly makosa niyafanyao ni nonintentional au misunderstanding!

Shida yangu kubwa, sorry yako huwa haina maana kama hujanipa sababu ya kwanini umefanya ulichokifanya; ili nievaluate possibility ya wewe kurudia hilo kosa!
I think I am a difficult person to deal with, na kwa kuwa huwa siendagi kinyume na tulichokubaliana.
 
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@Kaunga kwanini hiyo "I am sorry" yako isiwe vile kama ambavyo unataka kuisikia ile inayotolewa kwako? Wakati mwingi mahusiano huvunjika kwa sababu za kijinga sana na kila mtu kujiona bora au kutotaka kujishusha kwa mwenzi kwa kuona hastahili kutoa maelezo mengi zaidi ya kutamka "samahani" kuna wengine ni ving'ang'anizi hutaka maelezo ya kina na kama hauko tayari kuyatoa basi varangati ndio linazidi kuota mizizi. Hapo kwenye bold nyeusi mie sitii neno lol!

 
ila sometimes kujishusha basi mwombaji anapanda juu kama mawenzi.

Lakini si nongwa sana kwangu mtu akipanda ndo uzuri.

Ila wanamme kwa nini huwa hawaombi msamaha? Labda mbingu zishuke hata akiomba anaomba mradi tu.

 
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BAK
Nakubaliana na wewe, nikijichunguza so far sijawahi kugombana kiasi hicho hivyo sina reference nzuri. Nimeshawahi pondwa vya kutosha tu na mara zote sikuwa mkosaji!

Nilivyokosewa, kucheatiwa (alimmimba Housegirl, nilikuja gundua a year later) mpaka alivyoniambia why, according to him it was revenge coz nilienda field na mtu aliyekuwa anamuhisi, so akanbaka HG. Moyoni sikumsamehe na niliend uhusiano kwa njia laini.
 
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Pole sana ulifanya uamuzi wa busara ulipoamua kuvunja mahusiano.

 
cartura said:
gfsonwin anayeomba msamaha ndiye anapaswa kusema anataka suluhu iweje? mi nadhani aliyekosewa ndiye mwenye uwezo wa kutaja 'remedy'? e.g sitegemei
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yaani wakati a remediation basi aliyekosa ndiye anayeweza kusema anataka iweje kumbuka kwamba mara nyingi aliyekosewa huwa anajiona mwenye haki sana na hii humfanya mkosaji kuona kwamba kila analoambiwa na mkosewaji kuwa kama adhabu kwake. pia usije sahau kwamba mtu mzima akikosea hapaswi kuadhibwa bali kuonywa na remedy aamu mwenyewe ili apate kujifunza.


'makosa makubwa' yanayoweza kufanywa na mwanamke ndani ya ndoa ni kama yapi?[/QUOTE]



makosa makubwa ndani ya ndoa yanatofautiana kati ya mtu na mtu wengine watasema cheating, ila wapo watakao sema ufujaji wa hela mfano halisi mimi kwangu ni kosa ambalo nafikiri sitoweza kulinyamazia iwapo mwenzi wangu atafuja mali na pesa ama awe muharibifu yaani mwanaume wa kutoka na laki asbh kwenda job jion akirud wallet hakuna kitu halafu hakuna cha maana kafanyia zaid ya kula na kunywa???? yaani hapana hili kwangu mimi ninaliona kubwa sana kuliko chochote kile. ila pia yupo atakayesema kukashfiwa ndilo kosa kubwa yaani mwanamke anaye mkashifu na kumdharau mumewe.
 
snowball said:
gfsonwin hongera kwa kuwafunda wamama wenzio..
On my side siamini sana katika 'samahani'
mara nyingi napima 'demeanor'..was it 'malice aforethought'? Or just 'goodwill' or rather 'unintentional'?
Manake utasikia..'jamani si nimeshasema samahani'!!
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kaka mkubwa SnowBall msamaha ninaomaanisha hapa ni ule wa msukumo wa ndani usiotanguliwa na sababu wala shinikizo manake yupo mtu anaweza tu kuomba samahani basi tu ili aonekane mtii kumbe ni mnafiki, mimi huomba samahani kwakua hakika nimetahmini nikaona ni mkosa na nataka tena amani irudi pia sipendi kulipoteza penzi nililopanda for ten yrs natamani niendelee so nikiomba msamaha huwa najaribu hata kuangalia sababisho la kosa ni nini na kama ni kitu ambacho kiko naachana nacho kabisa ili nisijerudia makosa tena.
 
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kwa this case you are a bit selfish my dearest Kaunga. kwanini usifanye sawa na wewe unavyotaka kufanyiwa? kwanini uone kama mwenzio anaweza kurudia kosa husika ukijilinganisha sawa na wewe?
 
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@Kongosho, mie nimewahi kuwasikia wanaume wengi tu wakiomba samahani pale wanapokosea. Mie mwenyewe siko perfect kama binadamu hivyo pale ninapoona nimefanya kosa basi sioni tatizo kabisa kutamka neno samahani lakini wako wa aina hiyo ambao watajibaraguza huku na kule lakini kamwe hutasikia neno samahani kutoka midomoni mwao. Yaani nikikumbuka kesi nyngine za mahusiano ambazo niliitwa kuokoa jahazi huwa nacheka sana njemba zilivyokuwa zinaruka huku na kule bila kutaka kukubali kwamba zimetenda kosa.

Kongosho said:
ila sometimes kujishusha basi mwombaji anapanda juu kama mawenzi.

Lakini si nongwa sana kwangu mtu akipanda ndo uzuri.

Ila wanamme kwa nini huwa hawaombi msamaha? Labda mbingu zishuke hata akiomba anaomba mradi tu.
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@Gfsonwin, nakubali hilo ni kosa kubwa, lakini ni kosa kubwa kuliko mengine yote hata kucheat?




makosa makubwa ndani ya ndoa yanatofautiana kati ya mtu na mtu wengine watasema cheating, ila wapo watakao sema ufujaji wa hela mfano halisi mimi kwangu ni kosa ambalo nafikiri sitoweza kulinyamazia iwapo mwenzi wangu atafuja mali na pesa ama awe muharibifu yaani mwanaume wa kutoka na laki asbh kwenda job jion akirud wallet hakuna kitu halafu hakuna cha maana kafanyia zaid ya kula na kunywa???? yaani hapana hili kwangu mimi ninaliona kubwa sana kuliko chochote kile. ila pia yupo atakayesema kukashfiwa ndilo kosa kubwa yaani mwanamke anaye mkashifu na kumdharau mumewe.[/QUOTE]
 
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BAK kosa la ufujaji wa mali kwangu ni kosa kubwa sana kuliko mengine yote. kucheat kiukweli ni jambo baya sana ila sijui labda nilikuwa sugu wakati wa ANA ndio maana kwangu likawa ni kosa ambalo hata usingizi halininyimi lakin leo nina gari kesho nmka eti gari umeuza pasi kunishirikisha ama umeuza nyumba? acha kabisa hili kwangu ni kubwa sana.
 
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Kongosho said:
ila sometimes kujishusha basi mwombaji anapanda juu kama mawenzi.

Lakini si nongwa sana kwangu mtu akipanda ndo uzuri.

Ila wanamme kwa nini huwa hawaombi msamaha? Labda mbingu zishuke hata akiomba anaomba mradi tu.
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msome BAK hapa chini.


niongezee hapa wanaume wengi san huwa wanapenda san kujiizdishia haki yaani kisa wao ni vichwa vya familia wana assume umalaika jambo ambali si sahihi. Huwa wengine wanasema baba hakosei na mara nyingi sana hujikuta eti wanaashumu wana akili kuliko wanawake kumbe akili ndani ya familia ni cumulative each one does contribute.

nitakupa fano wa kisa hiki kuna baba mmoja mkewe aliwah kuhisi kwamba ana mcheat and the woman is very honest. mke alipopata evidence kutoka kwa mnyetishaji wake she became very furious and kwa kuhofia the dialogue yeye akaanza kulia tu. she cried like hell till down sasa mume naye akatumia hiyo kama loophole akawa anatoka kwenda kujinywea pombe zake anarudi home usiku wa saa saba saa nane lakin bado anamkuta mkewe analia na hamsemeshi. kwa mimi niliona siye busara kabisa kwa huyu baba manake katika ugomvi kama huo huwez kukimbilia eti niambie aliye kwambia bali utajitahdi tu kumthibitishia mkeo kwamba alichokisikia siyo cha kweli na aombe msamaha kwa aaakumtengenezea mkewe mazingira ya kumauhisi vibaya. Ila jamaa lilikomaa nimesema niambie aliye kuambia na siku nikimjua nitaua and so forth mke aliogopa na ikabidi yeye nmke ndo aombe samahani sasa just try to imagine.
 
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gfsonwin said:
kwa this case you are a bit selfish my dearest Kaunga. kwanini usifanye sawa na wewe unavyotaka kufanyiwa? kwanini uone kama mwenzio anaweza kurudia kosa husika ukijilinganisha sawa na wewe?
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I think l am, it is easy to know urself than the otherself. And l hate to be played for a fool. Kumuamini mtu 100% ni ngumu, imagine mtu ana cheat; akiomba msamaha just kwakuwa kaomba you think hatarudia? I never cheat so mimi haipo hiyo ya kurudia. Lkn hii tofauti na kuchelewa kurudi nyumbani, akisema l am sorry; nitamwambia it is okay hny na kumtengenezea mazingira ya kupamiss nyumbani.

Sikatai l am a bit selfish kama binadamu wengi tulivyo lkn nina quality nyingine n l think is good, l am never fake. Sijui kupretend na nikisamehe nasamehe kweli!
 
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The Boss said:
mtu anaomba msamaha hadi kulia na machozi
baada ya siku mbili 'anafanya yale yale' tena sasa na zaidi....

women bana
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Na wanaume wa hivyo wapo. Mie nayaita machozi ya mamba. Dawa Yake Mbu huwa anasema jikubalishe AMA chukua hatua.
kuwa mwepesi kuomba msamaha ni jambo jema na la kistaarabu. Wakati mwingine kuomba msamaha just to bring peace back is a good thing unless your stds are compromised
 
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one thing i do admire from you you are exactly like my hubby when it comes to apologizing. he is never fake and also a man of his words. akisema nimesamehe anasamehe kweli, ila mpaka awe na uthibitisho kwamba you will not repeat it. na hapa huwa anataka umtengenezee mazingira ya kwann hutorudia tena kosa ulotenda. mfano halisi

mimi ni mkali sana kwenye matumizi ya rasilimali za familia, siyo mchoyo ila pia huwa sifuji na wala sipendi mtu mfujaji na asiyejua kufanya kazi ili kukuza kipato. infact kikazi he earns more than i but mimi to compasate it i do business so nafuga na nina maduka kama miradi yangu. Ingawa kila nikihesabu total income yangu per month from all sources bado ni ndogo kwa a quoter from what he earns. sikumoja nikajisemea hivi kwanini sikufikii kimapato? it was just a normal sentence i assumed, but to him it was different akaona kabisa kwamba nataka kushindana naye as a man and worse enough i said so in front of our kids.

Kaunga just try to imagine that sentence it was then turned upside down kikaja na kipengele cha so long as you are mmachame then you want to pin down my dignity, baba alisema hadi nikaona dunia inataka kugeuka.sasa from all what he was saying nili assume ni hasira tu so i just said to him my dear nimekukwaza sana na binafsi sikupanga iwe ni kitu kama hicho naomba unisamehe. bado aka resist kwamba nimthibitishie kwamba sitokaa nianze kujilinganisha naye kama baba kwa lolote lile sasa hapa pakawa pagumu sana manake sikupaelewa nijilinganishe kivipi.ulikuwa ugomvi ambao sitokaa niusahau hadi leo hii na mwisho wa siku mimi ndiye niliyeshidwa kwa kuonekana kwamba nataka ni mdominate yeye, so nilimwambia please najua nimekukosea sana naomba give me time niende kwetu at least ili wewe hasira zipungue na mimi pia mawazo yapungue kisha ukiona wanihitaj basi nitarudi tu.

Nilisema hivyo kwani namjua ni mtu ambaye kama sipo na yupo karibu hawez kukaa pasi mimi so nikajua dhahiri kwamba nkiondoka wiki haiishi ataulizia narudi lini. kwa jeuri ya kibaba akasema nenda kabisa na naongea na baba nimweleze yote jinsi ilivyokuwa ili wakuonye. nilimsihi sana asiwaambie chochote ila miye niende kama naenda kuwasalimia kisha nitajifunza kutoka kwa mama kitu kipya. alikuwa mgumu ila baadae akakubali tena akaniambia wanangu niachie nikamwambia sawa. To me it was furaha sana manake nilijua kwanza naenda kula bata kula kulala pasi mawazo wala kazi za kufanya.

alikuwa muungwana kanipeleka hadi kwa wazazi wangu akasalimiana nao akaaga anaondoka akaniacha nikamwambia mama miye nimekuja kulala hapo kwa siku chache tumetofautiana na mr so nataka yeye apunguze hasira. Mama na baba wakaja juu ile mbaya yaani wewe umeshawah kumsikia mama yako kaachika ama kaeda kwao kujifunza adabu? jibu hapana umeshawah kutuona tunagombana jibu hapana. watoto uliowaacha unategemea nini jibu baba atawalea. jamani it was a drama. nikamsihi baba asimpigie simu kumuita amuache tu yeye mwenyewe atapiga. Hapa nikajua kabisa kwa aina ya wazazi wngu sina mtetezi so niliamsha akili kwamba isije ikatokea siku nikarud ama nikawaambia wazazi wangu chochote juu ya ndoa yangu manake hawatanisikiliza na watamtetea tu mwanaume. na hili sijui kwanini wazazi wa watoto wa kike wako hivi jamani miye naichukia sana hii tabia.

huku nyumbani kwangu pakaanza kumboa the same day, watoto stori zao zinaishia njian, usku akilala anaota vibaya next morning anaamka jambo la kwanza ananipigia sweetie naomba nije nikuchukue this life bana siiwez pasi wewe. nikamjibu sawa njoo mchana. yaani alipokuja hadi huruma tena, jeuri yote mfukoni.

so that way nikarudi kwangu kiusalama na kosa lile ambalo tulikuwa tunahitilafiana for a week separation ya siku moja tu ikalifuta. Onyo please usijaribu hii kama hujamsoma mwenzi wako vizuri ukajua anamapungufu gani na wewe unatumiaje umama wako kufeel hayo mapungufu manake kama huna it is obvious kwamba atatafuta mbadala.Pia kama wazazi wako ni aina ya wazazi wangu usijaribu aisee utakufa presha kwa kaukosa sapoti yao.
 
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