Nini Cha Kufanya Ukishagundua Mwenzi Wako Anatembea Nje

Superman · Jul 2, 2009

Mmmh Ipo Kazi!

Source: How to Handle a Cheating Partner - wikiHow

How to Handle a Cheating Partner

Many people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Although there may be two sides to the story, unfaithfulness is not acceptable and is emotionally harmful to the other spouse.

The person who cheats doesnt easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once, feel badly about it, and never repeat their mistake. Some will continue the cheating pattern again and again until they are caught. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you have a need to know just how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again. Then you have to think about whether you trust them enough to take their word for it, when they say they are 'sorry'. You must work hard to build trust that has been damaged

Steps

1. Consider the sincerity of the person who betrayed you when they ask for reconciliation. You cannot go to them; they have to come to you. Once they do, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for their actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight onto yourself.

2. Assure yourself you can live with the knowledge of your partner's betrayal in your relationship before you go any further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious cycle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of irreversible damage they have committed.

3. Begin mending the relationship. Its like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, no once in a while gatherings--no contact whatsoever.

4. Dig deeper. Apart from staring at Internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbors yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things between you and your partner will never be the same again, but with a little work, it can still be good. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.

Tips

1. The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one has cheated are situations where the cheater admits to it. People who confess without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases its because they were completely frustrated with their life.

2. Its easy to believe that the person who cheats, cheats themselves more than anyone else by losing the ability to enjoy a meaningful relationship. However, many cheaters leave ruined lives in their wake. Whether its innocent children who end up in a broken home or a former partner who is left emotionally destroyed. Someone else always pays for what a cheater does.

3. If your partner has a history of cheating on you, and you suspect their 'remorse' is not real, don't kid yourself. They very likely have little respect for you, and are likely to continue their actions when they don't expect to get caught.

Warnings

The worst-case scenario for reconciliation involves people who cheat for selfish reasons. Although they may justify their actions with psychobabble, habitual cheaters will emotionally destroy many partners. They break families apart and go through many other relationships before stopping or simply running out of steam. These are nightmare partners that everyone should try to recognize and take extra caution to avoid. Unfortunately, they also tend to be extremely effective at deception and appear very desirable. Not surprisingly, these people are the hardest to walk away from.

Superman · Jul 2, 2009

Sijui kama wengine mmewahi kusikia hii true story ya miaka mingi iliyopita.

Kuna mdau wa ambaye ni dereva wa magari ya mizigo yanayosafiri nchi za mbali. Siku moja aliaga anasafiri na kweli alifanya hivyo. Kwa bahati mbaya sana kabla hawajafika mbali gari ilipatwa na matatizo. Mdau akarudi home majira ya kama saa 10 alfajiri.

Kwa kuwa alikuwa na funguo za akiba hakutaka kumsumbua mke wake, hivyo alifungua na kuingia ndani huku nyuma akifunga mlango. Walikuwa wanaishi yeye na mkewe tu.

Mdau alipigwa na butwaa baada ya kufika chumbani na kukuta mamaa na jamaa wakila matunda ya mti wa kati. Kwa ustaarabu mkubwa jamaa alimwomba mke wake waongee na kumwacha jamaa ndani asijue cha kufanya. Mdau alimweleza mama kuwa asiwe na wasiwasi. Na alimwomba sana ili kuwe na amani ajifanye kama hakuna kitu kimetokea vinginevyo angeua mtu. ikabidi mama akubali.

Mdau akaomba shuka akenda kulala sitting room huku akimwacha mama na jamaa wakiwa bedroom hadi majira ya saa kumi na mbili asubuhi. Jamaa alienda kumwamsha mke wake na kumsihi amtayarishie jamaa maji ya kuoga na hatimaye breakfast.

Baada ya kuoga wote watatu walikaa dining room kupata kifungua kinywa huku mdau akipa story na mbaya wake na kumwakikishi asiwe na wasiwasi na baada ya hapo mdau akamwambia mamaa kuwa wamsindikize jamaa yeye akimwita "mgeni". Walipofika nje baada ya muda jamaa alimwambia mama basi msogeze kidogo mgeni wetu, mimi narudi home.

Mamaa aliporudi home akamkuta jamaa yuko vizuri tu wala hana noma. Toka siku hiyo jamaa hakuongea chochote kuhusu hiyo issue. Ila hakujamiiana na huyo mkewe tena.

Mamaa baada ya kama mwezi akawa anazidi kukonda tu kwa msongo wa mawazo asijue cha kufanya. Akajipeleka kijijini kwa wazazi wake na kuwatangazia kuwa ndoa yao ina matatizo. Mdau alipoitwa yaani mume na kuulizwa, aliwajibu wao hawana matatizo yoyote na wanaishi vizuri tu. Basi wazazi wakafurahi kuwa hakuna matatizi ila wakashangaa binti yao alivyokonda.

Baada ya mwezi tena binti akarudi na kudai wana matatizo. Mr alipoitwa akawaambia yeye hana matatizo na mkewe na kama mkewe andadai kuna shida basi aseme ni shida gani. Ikabidi mama ajifunge bao la kisigini kwa kuelezea dhambi aliyofanya. wazazi wake walimjia juu sana. laki ni Mr aliingilia kati na kuwasihi wamwache mke wake anampenda na alishamsamehe kwa hilo ndiyo maana alisema hawana shida.

Yule mke alikoma na inasemekana anampenda sana mumewe isivyo kawaida. Wanaume wengine "Fataki" anawaona si deal kabisa.

My take:

Kumwadhibu partner ambaye si mwaminifu si lazima umpige, kumtukana au kumfungulia kesi, talaka n.k.

Lakini je, ni wangapi wana courage hiyo?

Mbu · Jul 2, 2009

Superman said:
My take:

Kumwadhibu partner ambaye si mwaminifu si lazima umpige, kumtukana au kumfungulia kesi, talaka n.k.

Lakini je, ni wangapi wana courage hiyo?

...tupo wengi tu! 🙂

Superman · Jul 2, 2009

Mbu said:
...tupo wengi tu! 🙂

Mkuu kama ni kweli basi umebarikiwa sana.

Ingekuwa wengine baistola au panga mkononi . . . LOL

Penny · Jul 2, 2009

Duh hii kali superman...nampa jamaa hongera sana. I cannot imagine kama ndo ingekuwa mimi...ningehama hata na nyumba kwa uwoga wa sijui nini kinachoendelea kichwani mwa jamaa. Nampa dadangu huyo hongera pia. Nimeipenda saa hii article, congrates! Naomba kuja chumbani tuongee kitu.

Teamo · Jul 2, 2009

Penny said:
! Naomba kuja chumbani tuongee kitu.

Mh!
Wivu Sina.....................

Superman · Jul 2, 2009

Penny said:
Duh hii kali superman...nampa jamaa hongera sana. I cannot imagine kama ndo ingekuwa mimi...ningehama hata na nyumba kwa uwoga wa sijui nini kinachoendelea kichwani mwa jamaa. Nampa dadangu huyo hongera pia. Nimeipenda saa hii article, congrates! Naomba kuja chumbani tuongee kitu.

Penny kuna visa vingine katika maisha ukivisikia machozi yanaweza kukutoka, moja wapo ni hiki. Kwa kusoma inaonekana kama ni kitu rahisi tu, lakini katika hali halisi inataka moyo sana.

Unataka kuja chumbani wapi tena Penny? Au una maana kuni-PM? Karibu sana. Niko na my wife wangu hapa.

Mbu · Jul 2, 2009

Superman said:
Mkuu kama ni kweli basi umebarikiwa sana.

Ingekuwa wengine baistola au panga mkononi . . . LOL

...Naam ndugu yangu, kosa sio kosa...atapolirudia ndio litakuwa kosa hapo nitakuwa na hiari ya kumsikiliza kulikoni na kumsamehe au ndio hivyo tena.

Kuhusu bastola na panga aaarrgghh, hiyo itakuwa murder case. Kwani unadhamiria kumtoa nani roho?, ...mke/mume au huyo "anayekula" mali zako?

Penny · Jul 2, 2009

Geoff said:
Mh!
Wivu Sina.....................

Jamani kwa lipi tena G loho iiumeee!

Mbu · Jul 2, 2009

Superman said:
Penny kuna visa vingine katika maisha ukivisikia machozi yanaweza kukutoka, moja wapo ni hiki. Kwa kusoma inaonekana kama ni kitu rahisi tu, lakini katika hali halisi inataka moyo sana.

Unataka kuja chumbani wapi tena Penny? Au una maana kuni-PM? Karibu sana. Niko na my wife wangu hapa.

...Penny, you have been warned! 😀

Penny · Jul 2, 2009

Mbu said:
...Penny, you have been warned! 😀

Hiyo ni tadhari tuu nisije kuharibu hali ya hewa.

Superman · Jul 2, 2009

Mbu said:
...Naam ndugu yangu, kosa sio kosa...atapolirudia ndio litakuwa kosa hapo nitakuwa na hiari ya kumsikiliza kulikoni na kumsamehe au ndio hivyo tena.

Kuhusu bastola na panga aaarrgghh, hiyo itakuwa murder case. Kwani unadhamiria kumtoa nani roho?, ...mke/mume au huyo "anayekula" mali zako?

Mkuu, hapa hekima yako nimeikubali.

Sina uhakika kama ningeweza kuua na ni yupi katika hayo.

Lakini unajua katika hali kama hiyo anything can happen.

Kaizer · Jul 2, 2009

Superman said:
Mkuu, hapa hekima yako nimeikubali.

Sina uhakika kama ningeweza kuua na ni yupi katika hayo.

Lakini unajua katika hali kama hiyo anything can happen.

Mkuu, sasa baada ya kurudi kijijini mara ya pili, je, waliendelea kula tunda au mgomo uliendelea?

Kaizer · Jul 2, 2009

Mbu said:
...Penny, you have been warned! 😀

Mkuu kwa kutia chumvi! hahah sikuwezi

Bonnie1974 · Jul 3, 2009

Mbu said:
...tupo wengi tu! 🙂

Wacha wewe Mkuluuuu
Hi
Longtime.

Huyo mshikaji alikuwa na Mtu kabla ya hilo tukio alilohadithi Superman,ndiyo maana alikuwa Muungwana.

Most of the time MTU AKIWA MUUNGANA SANA KWA VITENDO VYA HOVYO VYA MKEWE LAZIMA ATAKUWA NA MTU.HIYO NI FORMULA.

Yule ANAYEPIGA KELELE, OH MYWIFE WANGU "HIVI NA VILE" huyo mara nyingi utakuta "HAPO NDIPO ANAPATEGEMEA"

Bishanga · Jul 3, 2009

Wataalam wa saikolojia wanasema ukitaka kujua hulka halisi ya mtu mpe kitu kimoja kati ya haya mawili,PESA (kwa maana ya utajiri) au MAMLAKA (kwa maana ya power).Binadamu anayeweza kuhimili vitu viwili hivi bila kuvi abuse basi huyo ni shujaa.Hata uzinzi huu tunaoongelea,kutembea nje ya ndoa etc mara nyingi ni matokeo ya mtu kuibuka ghafla na pesa au mamlaka,check it out utaniambia.

Akili Unazo! · Jul 3, 2009

Superman said:
Sijui kama wengine mmewahi kusikia hii true story ya miaka mingi iliyopita.

Kuna mdau wa ambaye ni dereva wa magari ya mizigo yanayosafiri nchi za mbali. Siku moja aliaga anasafiri na kweli alifanya hivyo. Kwa bahati mbaya sana kabla hawajafika mbali gari ilipatwa na matatizo. Mdau akarudi home majira ya kama saa 10 alfajiri.

Kwa kuwa alikuwa na funguo za akiba hakutaka kumsumbua mke wake, hivyo alifungua na kuingia ndani huku nyuma akifunga mlango. Walikuwa wanaishi yeye na mkewe tu.

Mdau alipigwa na butwaa baada ya kufika chumbani na kukuta mamaa na jamaa wakila matunda ya mti wa kati. Kwa ustaarabu mkubwa jamaa alimwomba mke wake waongee na kumwacha jamaa ndani asijue cha kufanya. Mdau alimweleza mama kuwa asiwe na wasiwasi. Na alimwomba sana ili kuwe na amani ajifanye kama hakuna kitu kimetokea vinginevyo angeua mtu. ikabidi mama akubali.

Mdau akaomba shuka akenda kulala sitting room huku akimwacha mama na jamaa wakiwa bedroom hadi majira ya saa kumi na mbili asubuhi. Jamaa alienda kumwamsha mke wake na kumsihi amtayarishie jamaa maji ya kuoga na hatimaye breakfast.

Baada ya kuoga wote watatu walikaa dining room kupata kifungua kinywa huku mdau akipa story na mbaya wake na kumwakikishi asiwe na wasiwasi na baada ya hapo mdau akamwambia mamaa kuwa wamsindikize jamaa yeye akimwita "mgeni". Walipofika nje baada ya muda jamaa alimwambia mama basi msogeze kidogo mgeni wetu, mimi narudi home.

Mamaa aliporudi home akamkuta jamaa yuko vizuri tu wala hana noma. Toka siku hiyo jamaa hakuongea chochote kuhusu hiyo issue. Ila hakujamiiana na huyo mkewe tena.

Mamaa baada ya kama mwezi akawa anazidi kukonda tu kwa msongo wa mawazo asijue cha kufanya. Akajipeleka kijijini kwa wazazi wake na kuwatangazia kuwa ndoa yao ina matatizo. Mdau alipoitwa yaani mume na kuulizwa, aliwajibu wao hawana matatizo yoyote na wanaishi vizuri tu. Basi wazazi wakafurahi kuwa hakuna matatizi ila wakashangaa binti yao alivyokonda.

Baada ya mwezi tena binti akarudi na kudai wana matatizo. Mr alipoitwa akawaambia yeye hana matatizo na mkewe na kama mkewe andadai kuna shida basi aseme ni shida gani. Ikabidi mama ajifunge bao la kisigini kwa kuelezea dhambi aliyofanya. wazazi wake walimjia juu sana. laki ni Mr aliingilia kati na kuwasihi wamwache mke wake anampenda na alishamsamehe kwa hilo ndiyo maana alisema hawana shida.

Yule mke alikoma na inasemekana anampenda sana mumewe isivyo kawaida. Wanaume wengine "Fataki" anawaona si deal kabisa.

My take:

Kumwadhibu partner ambaye si mwaminifu si lazima umpige, kumtukana au kumfungulia kesi, talaka n.k.

Lakini je, ni wangapi wana courage hiyo?

Mkuukwa kweli katika adhabu mbaya kuliko zote hii aliyoifanya huyu jamaa ni adhabu mbaya kuliko zote na mara nyingi hii huwa inaishia kutengana.

Mfano mzuri hata leo itokee kwako samahani kama hujoa au kuolewa utakuwa na mpenzi au mwenzi wako itokee siku moja umkute mwenzi wako analiwa au anakula uroda na mwingine wewe ufike uone na ushuhudie halafu uwaache waendelee kweli si itakuwa ndo automatic divorse hiyo?

Binadamu tumeumbwa kusemwa au kugombezwa kwa namna yoyte pale tutendapo kosa ili kesho na keshokutwa tujue kwamba tulichokifany si kizuri kabisa.Sasa unaponikuta natenda kosa halafu husemi kitu huoni kwamba nitakuogopa maana yake siku ya kujakuniadhibu itakuwa ni mauaji.

Superman · Jul 3, 2009

Kaizer said:
Mkuu, sasa baada ya kurudi kijijini mara ya pili, je, waliendelea kula tunda au mgomo uliendelea?

Mkuu, sasa hivi wanafuraia maisha tu. Tunda kama kawa . . .

Superman · Jul 3, 2009

Bonnie1974 said:
Wacha wewe Mkuluuuu
Hi
Longtime.

Huyo mshikaji alikuwa na Mtu kabla ya hilo tukio alilohadithi Superman,ndiyo maana alikuwa Muungwana.

Most of the time MTU AKIWA MUUNGANA SANA KWA VITENDO VYA HOVYO VYA MKEWE LAZIMA ATAKUWA NA MTU.HIYO NI FORMULA.

Yule ANAYEPIGA KELELE, OH MYWIFE WANGU "HIVI NA VILE" huyo mara nyingi utakuta "HAPO NDIPO ANAPATEGEMEA"

Mkuu, kuna watu wengine watu wa Mungu sana. wanasemehe pale wanapokosewa na kuombwa radhi.

Ila kwa binadamu wa kawaida, Ngoma hii ni nzito.

Superman · Jul 3, 2009

Bishanga said:
Hata uzinzi huu tunaoongelea,kutembea nje ya ndoa etc mara nyingi ni matokeo ya mtu kuibuka ghafla na pesa au mamlaka,check it out utaniambia.

Mkuu hapa sijakupata vizuri. Una maana Mamaa ndiyo alikuwa na Pesa au Mamlaka au Mume wake au Mgoni? Au ni maoni ya ujumla tu?

Nini Cha Kufanya Ukishagundua Mwenzi Wako Anatembea Nje

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