Yea, Mwali, that is so famous na sitamshauri ataumie. That phrase has more than one meaning. Kwa mfano, kwa wanawake, it is not you, it is me simply means it is you. Solution hapa ni kuwa honest. She doesn't feel the same way like he feels. Huo ndio ukweli na inabidi amweleze tena mapema. Inabidi awe honest, it will be painful to him but in the long term ata-appreciate vibaya na possibly anam-respect.
Nafikiri ni rahisi kwa mwanamke kumwambia mwanaume kuwa hampendi kuliko mwanaume kumwambia mwanamke hampendi. Kwa wanaume hatu-mind sana, though it may vary from one man to another. Lakini kwa mwanamke kuambiwa openely na mwanaume anayempenda kuwa hampendi kunaweza kumdhuru hata kimwili. Sasa Neiwa kama vile anadhani jamaa atajisikia vibaya sana kama vile yeye (Neiwa) angejisikia. It doesn't work that way. Kumbuka unlike wanawake, wanaume don't attach too much emotions kwenye mapenzi.
So, kama kweli humpendi mwambie straight bila kumumunya maneno hata kama atalia. You need to let him now the truth and tell him you only think of him as a friend and hopefully kama ni mwanaume mwelewa atakuelewa. Tena hiyo friendship iwe ni offer tuu. If he wants to be friends with you sawa, kama hataki sawa. Let him decide that.
Ukweli ni kwamba kama anakupenda you are going to hurt him no matter what. Huwezi kulikwepa hili kwa kutafuta maneno mazuri. Mwambie you care a great deal about him as a friend and you want what is best for him so he doesnt miss out on a better opportunity with someone else. Kumbuka the more you try to use nice words to please him, the more complicated things can potentially get. Use your body language too to express your view but do not try to be too mean on him. Just be open and express what you feel.
Wakati ukimweleza hayo hakikisha mpo kwenye sehemu ya faragha, maana sometimes nyie wanawake mnapenda kuwa-embarrass wanaume wanaowapenda (lakini nyie hamuwapendi au mmeshawachuna vya kutosha) mbele ya marafiki zenu. Sio fresh. Pia ni bora umwambie uso kwa uso na sio kwenye text message, BBM, facebook message or JF PMs.
Kama akiendelea kungangania just tell him open that you don't feel for him the way you think he wants you to. If he doesnt get it then just say plain and simply to him that you are not inclined to love him. And then say Sorry. Nina uhakika hapo atakuacha. Kila mtu anajua kuwa huwezi kumlazimisha mtu akupende.
PS. Usitumie zile kauli kwenye ile thread ya kauli za kejeli za wanawake. Hapo utakuwa unatafuta vita ya Gaddafi na anaweza kukuombea majeshi ya NATO. Ila kama wewe unanipenda mimi, uni-PM haraka sana. I promise you sitakutosa kama unavyotaka kumtosa huyo jamaa. lol.