Letter from Nicholas to Alix, dated May 17, 1894
7/5 May. 1894. Gatchina.
My dear dear Alix :
Your sweet letter finally arrived today, just at the same time that I arrived from town, for which many thanks and tender kisses! Oh! How happy I was as I read his cute description of the sermon he heard last Sunday and how much I wish I had been sitting in church next to my beloved! "I'm sure my letter from last night must have seemed pretty stupid to you, but actually I was almost exhausted." But I didn't feel geknickt, even if you call me a goose, like an old hen I know does in a bad mood mixing kisses with pinches.
I have received my birthday gifts from dear Papa & Mama and Xenia & Sandro. Two pairs of pretty buttons and a greenstone "frog" (Fabergé) like those animals She had in her living room at the Schloss! Many books as well, which I love, and some French poetry. Mischa also receives her gifts on the same day as me, because her birthday and her name are on November 22! so it was considered unfair to give him gifts only once a year. You - haben Sie verstanden altes Huhn?
Abby came here yesterday just in time to be present at the funeral. She is blooming; Her blue hussar uniform reminded me of Coburg and the hofconcerts, when u. Alfred used to drop Grandma's cane regularly every night and it would clatter to the ground. Well! du sah ich mich selbst im meinem uniform bei der suite "eines ziemlich hübsches persönlichkeit" sitzend - vielleicht war es im Riesensaal eines alten schlosses! Although I'm not sure about the endings of the words, der, die, das, I think I can write better in German than you can in Russian. Say ah! Say ah! at least that's an advantage over the owl! I will catch up with you soon in Hindi if I sit down to study the language properly! I must keep my spirits low, because today I feel terribly "spötterlich", I do not know why and I am afraid of making the poor little owl go crazy with rage, with what I have already said! Is not true? No! I never liked teaching anyone, but sometimes an irresistible desire arises to make a person tear three little "points". - There! now those d ... 2) telegrams begin again. I already have two as I scribbled this letter and I won't have anyone to help me! Oh! If only we were together, what a lovely birthday I would find. I've always hated my own birthdays and tomorrow I won't have my own sweetie to comfort me! But since we are in mourning now, no people will come, which is a blessing! I'll write again tomorrow and send the telegrams to d…. [illegible]. Now sweet I must finish. My prayers and thoughts will be more and more with you, dear, dear girl tomorrow. Oh! how I miss you. God bless you +++.
Always my own sweet year. Truly loving and deeply devoted Nicky
Notes: geknickt = folded.
"Are there Sie verstanden altes Huhn?" = "Do you understand, old Hen?"
hofconcert = court concert.
"Du sah ich mich selbst im meinem Uniform bei der Suite 'eines ziemlich hübsches Persönlichkeit' sitzend - vielleicht war es im Riesensaal eines alten Schlosses!" = "I saw myself in my uniform sitting next to the suite of 'quite a nice character' - maybe it was in the huge hall of an old castle!"
spötterlich = mocking
