Password na agenda ya siri hamna lolote!!!

Diana-DaboDiff said:

Kuna kitu kinaitwa 'personal space' inabidi kila mtu awe nayo kama uhuru na simu yake bila bugudha na mawasiliano binafsi kama e-mail na inabidi mwenzake aheshimu hivi.

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Nakubaliana na wewe kwamba mtu anahitaji kujihisi ana uhuru na baadhi ya vitu na hakuna spying. Ila nachukia tabia ya kuwekeana embargo! Unakuta mtu anamwambia mke wake kuwa, "siku ukishika simu yangu nitakunyonga" na mengine ya namna hiyo. Ki ukweli yanaleta mashaka zaidi badala ya kuzidisha imani na heshima kwenye mahusiano!

Nyani Ngabu said:

Siri gani hizo za familia ambazo utamficha mumeo au mkeo? Unaweza kutupa mfano/mifano?

Katika maisha ya ndoa, mwenza wako ndio anatakiwa kuwa mtu wa karibu sana na wewe kuliko mtu mwingine yeyote. Mwenza wako ndio mtu unayetakiwa kumjua na yeye kukujua kuliko wanavyokujua watu wengine wakiwemo wazazi.

Mimi mambo ya siri kwenye ndoa hapana kabisa. Kama ningekuwa na mke basi akitaka kunitibua awe ananificha vitu. I would be livid. Dishonesty and secrecy (in a relationship/ marriage) are one of my biggest pet peeves and I don't have much tolerance for neither one of them. That's just me.

Ila uzuri wa hili jambo ni kuwa hakuna kibaya wala kizuri. Hapa nina maana ya kwamba mtu unafanya au kuamua kulingana na unavyoona wewe kuwa ni sawa. Kwa hiyo kutokukubaliana kwangu na watu kama wewe kwenye jambo hili haimaanishi kwamba nyinyi mna makosa au mnakosea kuwa na mtazamo tofauti. Ndio uzuri wa dunia huo - diverse in every sense of the word diverse!!!

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utataka kujua hata kama mambo mengine sio your affairs? yani hayakuhusu... mfano wewe ungekuwa kaka yangu, ile issue yako na mchumba wako unataka ni iongelee na shemeji yako?... sasa yeye inamhusu nini? I will definitely feel offended akisema anything against you... kwa hiyo ni bora asijue...

Huyo ni Mfano tuu NN usianze kujidai.. 😛ound:

Hakuna shida, hamna raha na amani ndani a ndoa zaidi ya kuwa huru kwa mwenzio, yaani ondoa mipaka yote na password zote utashangaa nyumba yenu itakavo kuwa edeni ndogo humu humu duniani!

Kuwa mwili mmoja kwa maana ya mmoja, hiyo itasaidia pia kulindana na kuondoa myanya ya maharamia na manjangili wote katika ndoa yenu.

WomanOfSubstance said:

NN na wenzio ambao bado hamjaingia kwenye ndoa, mnazungumzia the ideal situation.... katika uhalisia ni tofauti.... ingieni kwanza kisha mtaelewa. Its not about being dishonest au nini.Na hata kutoa mifano siyo rahisi.

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Miss Lady, trust me, I'm not just talking out of the side of my neck. Been there, done that, if you get my drift. I have what they call "lived experience". You live and learn and I have lived and learned from it. And there is no better teacher than "lived experience". So I know a thing or two about it......

Sidebar: Having said all that, I am cognizant of the fact that the human experience is infinitely varied.
A lot of my opinions/ views are rooted and shaped by the things I have gone through in life which I also suspect to be the case in most people. Therefore, I totally understand where y'all are coming from but it just happens that I perhaps experienced something a little different than some of y'all.

Kwa hiyo basi, uzoefu wangu ndio umenifanya niwe muumini wa falsafa ya 'uwazi na ukweli' ikija kwenye haya mambo ya malavidavi na ndoa. Au baadhi yenu mnadhani NN ni spring chicken? Lol

Noname said:

utataka kujua hata kama mambo mengine sio your affairs? yani hayakuhusu... mfano wewe ungekuwa kaka yangu, ile issue yako na mchumba wako unataka ni iongelee na shemeji yako?... sasa yeye inamhusu nini? I will definitely feel offended akisema anything against you... kwa hiyo ni bora asijue...

Huyo ni Mfano tuu NN usianze kujidai.. 😛ound:

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If you were my sister (perish the thought..lol) and your man wanted to talk about the drama btn me and my ex, then I won't see any problem with it. To me, once you marry someone you become a part of his or her family. For you to take umbrage at his wanting to talk about it shows me that you are just a sensitive Suzie who gets offended easily about non-issues. I can understand if he (your man) was bad mouthing me and then you get upset...that's perfectly understandable. But refusing to talk to your man about family issues suggests to me that you neither value nor trust his judgement or his opinions. So why in the hell did you marry him in the first place?

Gaijin said:

Si hayo tu bht..... Kuna vitu vyengine vinatokea nje mathalan kuna mtu kazini au mtaani wala humjui uzuri kalutongoza tuseme basi kumuhadhithia mumeo utamuhadithia lkn mpaka umlie timing! Hehehe huwezi kukurupuka tu Kama unavyoongea na shoga yako
" shoga Yule babu ovyoooo ndo niñi kuja kunambia mie utumbo ule.... Na nilimstahi tu au ningemumbua!"

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Hilo la kutongozwa mbona ni jambo dogo sana. Any man with an ounce of common sense and who has a half-way decent woman will know that, that is an inevitability.

Ni kawaida kabisa ya njemba ku-get fresh na wanawake wanaovutia. Wajibu ni wako wewe kutoku-entertain hizo advances zao. Aidha usiwachekelee chekelee au unawaambia tu kwamba umeolewa na unamheshimu mumeo na watakuacha. Tena unajua nini, pete ya ndoa kwa sehemu kubwa huwa ni defense mechanism nzuri sana. Kwa mfano mimi huwa nikiona demu kavaa pete kwenye kile kidole kinachovikwa pete ya ndoa wala huwa sijihangaishi kumsemesha. Nitasadiki tu kuwa tayari keshawahiwa ingawa inaweza isiwe hivyo maana wegine huvaa tu hizo pete kama repellant maana wanakuwa harrased sana na njemba.

Kwa hiyo kwangu mimi hiki ni kitu kidogo sana. Kwanza ninategemea demu wangu atakuwa anageuza shingo za njemba nyingi tu barabarani (coz I have a good taste in women...lol). Na hakuna haja ya yeye kuniambia kila incidence ya kutongozwa inapotokea. Kama ananiheshimu na kunipenda na kama siyo mtu wa ku-entertain huo upuuzi basi atawapuuzia mbali hao wamtongozao na atayasahau papo hapo na kuendelea na bizness zake zingine na baadaye kurudi nyumbani ku-do na mimi......

Na mara nyingi mtu ukiwa unampenda kweli kweli mwenzako, wengine wote utawaona hawana maana (of course ktk context ya kimapenzi). Kwa hiyo hata ukitokewa na njemba ingine, sana sana utaona linakubugudhi tu.

hilo neno la siri ni siri na ndio maana likaitwa la siri. Simu ni ya kwake na sio yako na ndio maana ni yake. Kuepusha matatatizo tuheshimianeni tu natuwe na imani na wapenzi wetu la sivyo tutakuwa tunaugua magonjwa ya moyo kila siku tuaache kufuatilia vitu vidogo vidogo. huo ni mtazamu tu

KakaKiiza said:

Wakuu,Mng,
Naleta hili kwenye meza kuu.................Hivi hawa wenzetu hawa akina mama hujifanya wanatupenda sana hivi kati yao kuna anayethubutu kumpa mpenzi wake Password ya E-mail yake???!!Nijuzeni:banplease::amen:

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Mie kwangu tofauti kwakweli, password yangu anaijuwa mke wangu nayake pia naijuwa. Mnaposema unawezakuwa na masuala ya kazini ambayo mpenzi wako hatakiwi kuyajuwa, navyojua ofice nyingi zinakuwa na website zake na official e-mails ambazo ukitaka ku-log in lazima uwe katika mazingira ya ofisini. Si kama unavyo log in kwenye yahoo, hotmail nk.

Unaficha nini ambacho hutaki mumeo au mkeo asijuwe? Ni deals zipi za maisha unatakiwa kuzifanya bila kumuhusisha life partner wako? Wewe jambazi hutaki mwenzi wako ajuwe?.

Kama ni e-mails za kazini ambazo ni za utani, nadhani huo utani nao unakuwa na mipaka yake, kama unaupenda utani ulipitiliza, ni vema basi mwenzi wako akajuwa tabia yako. Kwanini ufiche sasa. Ukiwa kazini unafanya mambo ya ajabu, nyumbani ukifika unatka ufiche makucha, onyesha tabia yako kwa mwenzi wako aijuwe.

Mkianza mambo ya kufichana fichana, shetani hakawiii kuingia ndani. Ukiwa muwazi kwa mwenzi wako, unakuwa na mipaka na mambo unayoyafanya maaana hupendi kufanya kitu ambacho kitamuhudhi mwenzi wako. Kama unaona mwenzi wako hatapendezwa na mesages za simu yako, kwa nini wewe uzifurahie sasa? Mume/mkeo ndiye life partner wako msifichane.

nyani ngabu said:

miss lady, trust me, i'm not just talking out of the side of my neck. Been there, done that, if you get my drift. I have what they call "lived experience". you live and learn and i have lived and learned from it. And there is no better teacher than "lived experience". So i know a thing or two about it......

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true... You live and learn...

km mwapendana kweli na hakuna usaliti baina yetu+km ni mwelewa enaf haina haja ya kumficha passwod ya kitu chochote cz ata km msg za makorokocho zikiingia from any whre since anakuamoini na anaelewa sizani km atalianzisha.....cz anajua up utanio upi kweli na atakua anajua akili zako zikopje katika ili so no bfu!!!1
kufiuchana fichana ni dalili ya kutokuwa mwaminfu even thou i do adhere n respect the notion of pricacy under human right.
umfche nini babu mwenzio ebu kampe bwana pas wod zoteeeeeeeeee then cm ukirud jion awe anakaaa nayo yeye c wewe ikipiga akuleteee km wk iv afu uone mambo zitasomekaje ndani ya nyumba

Hapa mnazungumzia kupeana pasiwedi?

Nyie peaneni mapasiwedi, peaneni masimu yenu peaneni sijui manini lakini kwangu mimi NI MARUFUKU mai waifu kujua pasiwedi ya chochote kile nachokimiliki kihalali!:closed_2:

wahishimiwa sana.........

kama ni muhimu sana kujua password ya e-mail KWANINI MSIFUNGUE E-MAIL MOJA YA PAMOJA?....

otherwise mi sipendi kufuatiliana fuatiliana hadi kwenye ma e-mail!adhawaisi wasingeyawekea pasiwedi...

kila mtu atulie na e-mail ake bana!ukijua mambo mengi ya ''siri'' wala haitasaidia chochote

SO FAR MAHUSIANO/NDOA NI MKATABA WA HIARI....!hakuna binding rules kama hizo

mi sipendi bana

Kuna kanuni mbili tu:

a. Kama unacheat kwa mpenzi/mwenzi wako ni muhimu ufiche baadhi ya mambo yako kwa kisingizio chochote.

b. Kama Unacheat na huna uhakika ufanye nini, angalia kanuni "a".

Ukizingatia hayo mambo mawili everything else haina sababu ya kufichana. Yatakuja kuwa wazi.

Dark City said:

WOS na Bht,

Wote nawaelewa ila kutoka kwenye angle tofauti. WOS anaongelea realities za maisha wakati Bht anongelea nadharia na wishes!

Binafsi sipendi mambo ya kuficha siri katika ndoa ila bado naamini nina mambo yangu ya kifamilia na pia na washikaji zangu ambayo sipendi wife ayajue. Kwa hiyo kuna baadhi ya vitu ambavyo ni ningependa kuvitunza kama siri. Na pia naamini wife ana vitu kama hivyo. Hata hivyo siungi mkono suala la usiri katika ndoa. Yaani simu isiguswe, paswords za email, bank n.k zinafichwa kama dudu ya mfalme n.k. Hayo siyapendi kabisa. Ila mimi nimempa passwards zangu zote na yeye kanipatia zake. Hata hivyo sifungui email zake kila siku na wala yeye hafungui zangu. Lakini kuna mazingira anaweza kuniomba nimsomee mails na nikafanya hivyo au nikiwa vijijini nikamtuma anisomee mails. Siwezi kujibu mail zake naye hawezi kujibu zangu. Ila kama kuna maelekezo anaweza hata mimi naweza kufanya hivyo. Hilo ni kwa upande wangu. Hata hivyo kila uhusiano naamni ni sovereign state na unaweza kuwa na rules zake. Cha msingi ni kukubaliana (badala ya kuburuzana) na kuheshimiana.

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Na kwa kusisitiza hapo kwenye bold, Spouses wenye kuheshimiana utaona wakijali kuheshimu uhuru na urafagha wa mwenza.Tuchukulie hili la mawasiliano. Mwenzangu anapoenda post office kuchukua barua hasomi zangu hata mara moja. Na ikitokea kafungua kwa bahati mbaya basi huomba radhi maana anajua haikuwa yake na wala siyo haki yake kusoma communication isiyomhusu.Likewise, nikikuta mails zake , ni zake sina haki wala sababu ya kufungua na kusoma.Nakumbuka hata kwa watoto, zamani wazazi walitusomea barua zetu hadi tulipofika umri fulani wakaacha.Hii yote ina maanisha kuwa mtu anapaswa kuwa na faragha. Sasa hili la password limekujaje? Ni maendeleo katika technolojia yanayozingatia dhana nzima ya faragha za watu.

Kwamba mke/mume hapaswi kuficha kitu, ni kupotosha.Hata kwenye mila na desturi - mathalani kwenye jando na unyago, kuna mafundisho yenye kuonyesha kuwa mke ana mume siyo lazima kufunuliana kila kitu. Wote walifunzwa na kujua na kuzingatia.Ni siku hizi tu ndio tunaona hizi dhana za kigeni zikichanganyika na maisha yetu ya kisasa na kuleta tafrani. Kwenye kabila langu kuna principle kabisa inayowaambia wote wake kwa waume kuwa " usimchunguze sana mkeo/mumeo".... mnadhani wahenga walikosea na sisi tuliokosa kuelewa mila na desturi ndio tunajua zaidi?

Hivi kwannini iliitwa password kwanza??
..karibuni sana kwenye Chama cha ndoa wale ambao hamjaoa na kuolewa...

bado aisee, nimesimama pale pale.........

Asprin said:

Hapa mnazungumzia kupeana pasiwedi?

Nyie peaneni mapasiwedi, peaneni masimu yenu peaneni sijui manini lakini kwangu mimi NI MARUFUKU mai waifu kujua pasiwedi ya chochote kile nachokimiliki kihalali!:closed_2:

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tupe sababu..........si unaongea ongea tu unaachia mambo hewani!! tufikishe bana.......

Mwisho nyote nawashukuru kwa mchango wenu ila mimi kwatazamo wangu nibora kuwa wazi kwakila kitu kwa mwenziwako mkionyesha uwazi wewe mhusika utakuwa na uvivu wakwenda kufunua kwenye email kwanza huwezi kupata nguvu zakwenda kuhangahikia kwamwenzio!!!Pili ina saidia pale unapopatwa tatizo linahitaji kuwa sorved linahitaji Password!!
(i)Mfano pesa katika account,
(ii)Docoment katika safe
(iii)Habari muhimu katika email!!
Namtoaji wa email huna kauli thabiti yakuweza kusema neno lolote!!Je huoni kama ningejua ingesaidia?Maana hapa nimetoa mifano kidogo tu ila ukweli nimeona wanaokataa ni wale wenye wenye walakini kwani sababu za msingi walizotoa hazijitoshelezi kumnyima mwenzio password.
Ila Nyani Ngabu katoa maelezo niyamsingi kwa majumuisho.

bht said:

mimi jamani sijui ndo kupenda kwa kutumia moyo zaidi........siri kwa mume wangu??? hapana. labda mnisaidie madhara yanayoweza kusababishwa na mimi kushirikiana 'passwoerd na waubani wangu......what are things that am keeping out of him??

Noname and my beloved Sisy WOS hebu saidia hapo.........

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Sunce when B?:A S-eek:

KakaKiiza said:

Mwisho nyote nawashukuru kwa mchango wenu ila mimi kwatazamo wangu nibora kuwa wazi kwakila kitu kwa mwenziwako mkionyesha uwazi wewe mhusika utakuwa na uvivu wakwenda kufunua kwenye email kwanza huwezi kupata nguvu zakwenda kuhangahikia kwamwenzio!!!Pili ina saidia pale unapopatwa tatizo linahitaji kuwa sorved linahitaji Password!!
(i)Mfano pesa katika account,
(ii)Docoment katika safe
(iii)Habari muhimu katika email!!
Namtoaji wa email Sorry katika kipengele hiki namaanisha Password siyo EMAIL. huna kauli thabiti yakuweza kusema neno lolote!!Je huoni kama ningejua ingesaidia?Maana hapa nimetoa mifano kidogo tu ila ukweli nimeona wanaokataa ni wale wenye wenye walakini kwani sababu za msingi walizotoa hazijitoshelezi kumnyima mwenzio password.
Ila Nyani Ngabu katoa maelezo niyamsingi kwa majumuisho.

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Namtoaji wa email Sorry katika kipengele hiki namaanisha Password siyo EMAIL