Separation VS new relationship is it right?

Edson ukorofi unaouona kwa huyu dada, mimi naona ni kitu kingine tofauti. She is independent lady ambaye anaweza kutunza watoto wake!

The fact kwamba hajaelezea sababu za kushindana, namkubali zaidi kuwa she knows what she wants!

Shida ya wanaume kama ninyi mnapenda wanawake ambao hata mkiwaabuse wataendelea kukung'ang'ania kwakuwa umemkaririsha kuwa bila wewe hawezi ishi!

Narudia sijaona ukorofi wake hata kiduchu, ametaka ushauri very specific kuwa when is right to start seing someone else. Pole najua hupendi guts zake na wengine kama yeye!

MwanajamiiOne said:

Hii ni alternative Soulmate. Uko sahihi inategemea ni ndoa ya wapi walikofungia but kama ndo serikalini basi 'aibe' hadi miaka 2 ipite!

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kuiba sidhani kama ni sahihi kwangu nataka iwe halali, ila nitakaowaficha ni watoto tu

Ndeonasiae said:

kuiba sidhani kama ni sahihi kwangu nataka iwe halali, ila nitakaowaficha ni watoto tu

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.........Sasa Mamii utahalalishaje ilhali wawaficha wanao? Mie bado sijakuelewa.
Nway whatever unavyopanga mpenzi kuhalalisha BILA kuhitimisha rasmi mkataba wa kwanza si sahihi!

Caroline Danzi said:

Huyo mdada anafikiri kuanza mahusino ni swala rahis na watoto wake wawili!! utachemsha, rudi kwa mumeo muishi kama zamani.

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Asante wee. haya!

MwanajamiiOne said:

.........Sasa Mamii utahalalishaje ilhali wawaficha wanao? Mie bado sijakuelewa.
Nway whatever unavyopanga mpenzi kuhalalisha BILA kuhitimisha rasmi mkataba wa kwanza si sahihi!

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Nahisi kama involvement ya watoto inahitaji umakini sana, tena ni vizuri wakiwa wakubwa kidogo.

Edson said:

mkubwa Mbu....ukisoma hiyo thread ya huyu mleta mada ni kwamba tayari ana mnara wa kiburi...anaweza kuwatuna watoto wake na anasem wako vizuri na hana tatizo na hilo....
umri wake anasema yuko kwenye early 30...na ana watot wawili...kisa cha ndoa kuvunjika mimi na wewe hatukijui ila ukisoma hiyo thread vizuri utagundua tu mkorofi ni nani....Roho y siri huwa inalia sana na huwa haiachi kama mtu unafanya jambo lisilo jema..lazima ilie.....huyu dada ameshindwa kutumia utashi wake na ndio maana roho inalia ..we si unaona tu ...emeondoka na anaishi kivyake lakini anataka afnaye kwa kujificha!!!..hayupo nyumbani kwa mumewe lakini anataka kujificha...shetani siku zote akitaka kukuaabisha huwa anakuvuruga, anakutia mashaka, anakutia woga..kisha unaanza kujiachanganya na kuanza kusema mambo ya ajabu......hivi unafikiri hapo alipo hajafanya maamuzi ila anasubiri ushauri wa hapa jf?

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... Edson mbona wamhukumu haraka hivyo? ....assume mume ndio kaondoka kwenye nyumba hiyo ya ndoa.

asante Kaunga, nilikuwa nimechoka kukoment, ila hata mie nimeliona hilo.

Edson, kamhukumu sana huyu mtoa mada bila kujali kuwa kuna ndoa zingine haziwezi kuendelea ndo maana 'kuachana' kukawepo.

mito said:

Ndeonasiae huna haja ya kuhangaika kutafuta mwanasheria utaliwa pesa zako bure kwa kesi ambayo ungesimama mwenyewe tu na kupata haki yako. Kesi za divorce ni straight forward - mahakama huwa iko interested kujua ni sababu zipi zinakufanya utake hiyo divorce. Ukishazitaja wanaangalia uzito wake kisheria. Bahati nzuri kuna mdau amezimwaga somewhere kwenye hii sredi yako na wewe umesema namba moja hadi 3 zinakuhusu. Hivyo tayari una sababu za msingi za kupata divorce yako. Dada yangu alikuwa na sababu kama zako, akasimama mwenyewe tu mahakamani, na mahakama ikatoa divorce ingawa mumewe alikuwa anasema bado anampenda. Tatizo ni kwamba kesi hizi zinachua muda mrefu kumalizika, dada yangu amepata divorce yake after 3 years. Lakini hakuna rushwa wala nini, ni haki bin haki! Yaani hata kama mumeo atang'ang'ania msimamo wake kwamba bado anakupenda, bado mahakama haiwezi kukulazimisha kukaa ktk ndoa ya hatari kiasi hicho - I mean kulingana na sababu zako hizo tatu! Kwahiyo mwisho wa siku mahakama itatoa divorce tu unless ubadilishe msimamo wako.

Kama wadau wengi wanavyoshauri, na sisi tulimshauri dada asiingie ktk mahusiano mapya publically kabla divorce haijatoka, maana kisheria unakuwa bado ni mke wake hivyo anaweza kukushika ugoni. Now she is free na wamegawana kila kitu kisheria!

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I second your opinion lakini kama divorce process ina masuala ya settlement of property and financial matters unaweza kuhitaji mtaalamu wa kukusaidia. You can DIY lakini unaweza kuhitaji mtalaam kuangalia the details ili kuhakikisha kuwa you are protected in the future na kwamba makubaliano mliofikia are legally sound.

Kuna suala kuhusu watoto hapo pia. Baba anaweza kutaka access na watoto na kwa kuwa hawaachani in mutual consent, she may need a specialist to dig in the details. Kuna issue ya malezi ya watoto. Will he be responsible and how? Even the most informed person could make a serious error when settling property and finances and this could have a serious and detrimental impact on you for many years to come.

Pia kama mume hataki kuachana, na mke kuamua kwenda mahakamani kujetetea mwenyewe, she must be strong emotionally. Mtu unawezajikuta badala ya ku-argue kisheria unashia ku-argue emotionally na ku-loose out some entitlements. Ndo maana hata mwanasheria mwenye kesi huwa anaweka mwanasheria mwingine kumtetea.

Unless she is very organised and her case is very straightforward, she will need at least a preliminary meeting with a family law specialist. This should be considered as an investment and a way to avoid problems in the future. Even if things seem quite amicable now, it is still a good time to touch base with a family law specialist.

Anaweza akajitetea mwenyewe mahakamani lakini there is nothing wrong at all kupata angalao ushauri wa awali hasa kama kuna property and finances involved, what to expect and how she should proceed, what sort of evidence she should present to court as not all evidence are relevant and hence admissible.

Ndeonasiae kwa ushauri wote huu itabidi nikutumie PM for my fees sasa.

Kaunga said:

Edson ukorofi unaouona kwa huyu dada, mimi naona ni kitu kingine tofauti. She is independent lady ambaye anaweza kutunza watoto wake!

The fact kwamba hajaelezea sababu za kushindana, namkubali zaidi kuwa she knows what she wants!

Shida ya wanaume kama ninyi mnapenda wanawake ambao hata mkiwaabuse wataendelea kukung'ang'ania kwakuwa umemkaririsha kuwa bila wewe hawezi ishi!

Narudia sijaona ukorofi wake hata kiduchu, ametaka ushauri very specific kuwa when is right to start seing someone else. Pole najua hupendi guts zake na wengine kama yeye!

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Kaunga soma post yake #82...kwa mbali utagungua kitu.....kwa nini asimalize taratibu zote za kupeana talaka kisha akawa huru na kufanya ambo yake....mwenyewe anasema amevumilia miaka mingi na anaongeza kwa kusema ndoa ilikuwa imeshakufa zamani....sasa anachoogopa ni nini? ...kingine akileza kisa kwa nini analilia talaka pengine mimi na wewe tutaelewa lakini pia natural justice inakataa itabidi na mumewe aeleze ( kama ni memeber wa jf)
halafu kingine kaunga ndugu yangu ule mwili mmoja huwa hauji siku ile mnapokuwa mmesimama mbele ya padre au mchungaji...hawa watumishi wakitamka sasa wewe Kaunga na@Edson ni mwili mmoja ule mwili huwa hauji pale....kuufikia mwili mmoja ni safai ndefu sana inayoanzia kwenye uchumba na kukamilishwa miaka mingi sana mkiwa ndani ya ndoa....ukikosea kwenye uchumba huko mbele ya safari lamia upake rangi upepo.

mleta mada ana mixed feeling...bado hajitambui..kwa mbali anampenda mumewe hasa akiwaangalia watoto....akikumbuka manyanyaso roho ya chuki inajaa na kuona heri atafute mwingine kabla taratibu za talaka hazjakamilia...ghafla dhamira inalia kwa uchungu na kumkukumbusha kuwa bado ni mke wa mtu....mhemko wa mwili unakuja juu na akili inamtuma kuiba na kufanya kwa siri....anakuja jf anaomba ushauri...unajua kaunga kuvunja ndoa na kupewa talaka inaweza kuwa furaka kwako kisa umepewa talaka lakini ukiwa na watoto wa yule mme mtalaka ni sawa na kukatwa mguu..huwezi kumsahau...

Ndio anao uwezo wa kuwatunza, kuwalinda na kuwasomesha watoto lakini afate taratibu za talaka..si kavumilia miezi nane akiwa nje ya mme wake....kingine maisha huwa hayana kitu kinaitwa kujaribu....kingine siko katka kundi hilo la unalolisema la aina ya wanaume...mshauri tu huyu binti/mama atunze wanae anachokimbilia ndicho kimemtoa kwa mumewe....huenda asipate amani ya moyo wake na watoto wake akaishiwa kuwatia majeraha ya rohoni

EMT said:

Ndeonasiae kwa ushauri wote huu itabidi nikutumie PM for my fees sasa.

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EMT, Uliongea na Mkuu Invisible kuhusu percentage ya JF in this transaction? As we talk about it kumbuka kulipia signature yako pia. Asante.:typing:

Kaunga said:

Edson ukorofi unaouona kwa huyu dada, mimi naona ni kitu kingine tofauti. She is independent lady ambaye anaweza kutunza watoto wake!

The fact kwamba hajaelezea sababu za kushindana, namkubali zaidi kuwa she knows what she wants!

Shida ya wanaume kama ninyi mnapenda wanawake ambao hata mkiwaabuse wataendelea kukung'ang'ania kwakuwa umemkaririsha kuwa bila wewe hawezi ishi!

Narudia sijaona ukorofi wake hata kiduchu, ametaka ushauri very specific kuwa when is right to start seing someone else. Pole najua hupendi guts zake na wengine kama yeye!

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Kongosho said:

asante Kaunga, nilikuwa nimechoka kukoment, ila hata mie nimeliona hilo.

Edson, kamhukumu sana huyu mtoa mada bila kujali kuwa kuna ndoa zingine haziwezi kuendelea ndo maana 'kuachana' kukawepo.

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Kaunga na Kongosho mleta mada nae wa kulaumiwa hapa. S/he did not give the details hasa sababu ya kutaka divorce mpaka alivyobanwa. Ndo maana some tukawa na assumptions.

Inawezekana Edson was prejudicial, lakini hata nyie mnaweza pia kuwa prejudicial. Unless you are part of the marriage, mmesikia story ya upande mmoja tuu na kuishia kutoa hukumu tena kwa wanaume wote. Halafu Kaunga anataka trial na mimi. Mwee. Erotica unaona huku?

watoto huwa ni kisingizio tu, trust me. Kuna watu hawajajaaliwa watoto wanateswa na kupigwa na hawaondoki, mbado kuona marrykate?
ni sawa na kumuambia mdada mumeo hakusikilizi na mnagombana kwa sababu wewe umesoma kumzidi. hao wasiosoma wamesikilizwa na waume zao? wanaume maskini hawanyanyasi wake zao?

marrykate said:

naona kuwa na watoto kigezo kingine cha kuvumilia shida za ndoa,

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Sijui ni kwanini unataka kuachana na mumeo!Ungesema maswali yote yangekua na majibu!Nimeshindwa kukushauri uanze au usianze mahusiano mapya kwa sababu uhalali au uharamu wa jambo hilo unategemea sababu ya kuachana kwenu!

RussianRoulette said:

Uliongea na Mkuu Invisible kuhusu percentage ya JF in this transaction? As we talk about it kumbuka kulipia signature yako pia. Asante.:typing:

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Halafu vipi wewe mbona unataka kuniwekea kauzibe?
Watu tunataka kumaliza dili fasta unaleta mambo ya percentage.
Hebu rudi kule Chitchat ukamoderate kule.
Yaani katika post yangu nzima uliona tuu hiyo sentensi ya mwisho?
Mamod wengine bana. Wanaangalia kula tuu.

Edson said:

Kaunga soma post yake #82...kwa mbali utagungua kitu.....kwa nini asimalize taratibu zote za kupeana talaka kisha akawa huru na kufanya ambo yake....mwenyewe anasema amevumilia miaka mingi na anaongeza kwa kusema ndoa ilikuwa imeshakufa zamani....sasa anachoogopa ni nini? ...kingine akileza kisa kwa nini analilia talaka pengine mimi na wewe tutaelewa lakini pia natural justice inakataa itabidi na mumewe aeleze ( kama ni memeber wa jf)
halafu kingine kaunga ndugu yangu ule mwili mmoja huwa hauji siku ile mnapokuwa mmesimama mbele ya padre au mchungaji...hawa watumishi wakitamka sasa wewe Kaunga na@Edson ni mwili mmoja ule mwili huwa hauji pale....kuufikia mwili mmoja ni safai ndefu sana inayoanzia kwenye uchumba na kukamilishwa miaka mingi sana mkiwa ndani ya ndoa....ukikosea kwenye uchumba huko mbele ya safari lamia upake rangi upepo.

mleta mada ana mixed feeling...bado hajitambui..kwa mbali anampenda mumewe hasa akiwaangalia watoto....akikumbuka manyanyaso roho ya chuki inajaa na kuona heri atafute mwingine kabla taratibu za talaka hazjakamilia...ghafla dhamira inalia kwa uchungu na kumkukumbusha kuwa bado ni mke wa mtu....mhemko wa mwili unakuja juu na akili inamtuma kuiba na kufanya kwa siri....anakuja jf anaomba ushauri...unajua kaunga kuvunja ndoa na kupewa talaka inaweza kuwa furaka kwako kisa umepewa talaka lakini ukiwa na watoto wa yule mme mtalaka ni sawa na kukatwa mguu..huwezi kumsahau...

Ndio anao uwezo wa kuwatunza, kuwalinda na kuwasomesha watoto lakini afate taratibu za talaka..si kavumilia miezi nane akiwa nje ya mme wake....kingine maisha huwa hayana kitu kinaitwa kujaribu....kingine siko katka kundi hilo la unalolisema la aina ya wanaume...mshauri tu huyu binti/mama atunze wanae anachokimbilia ndicho kimemtoa kwa mumewe....huenda asipate amani ya moyo wake na watoto wake akaishiwa kuwatia majeraha ya rohoni

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You are right and free to comment anything. Asante kwa kuchangia:suspicious:

EMT said:

Halafu vipi wewe mbona unataka kuniwekea kauzibe?
Watu tunataka kumaliza dili fasta unaleta mambo ya percentage.
Hebu rudi kule Chitchat ukamoderate kule.
Yaani katika post yangu nzima uliona tuu hiyo sentensi ya mwisho?
Mamod wengine bana. Wanaangalia kula tuu.

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Kama huwezi lipia biashara yako post zako zitafutwa systematically. Usidhani sikuoni? mara kambwa, mara ndom na sasa umeanza online consultation. Ukiambiwa kwa upole unachonga mdomo. Mi ni Super Mod, siishii chit chat.

Nahisi kuna baadhi wanaingiza emotions za maisha yao binafsi huku jamii forums! Hi EDSON im just saying!

Ndeonasiae said:

Nahisi kuna baadhi wanaingiza emotions za maisha yao binafsi huku jamii forums! Hi EDSON im just saying!

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Mamii nimemsoma Edson nimemwelewa hebu vuta kiti msome kwa kituo. Na ndipo ilipolalia point yangu ya kuwa kutengana kwa miezi nane ni muda mfupi sana kwa aliyetendwa na ampendaye akatendeka kuwa na mahusiano ya WAZI na mtu mwingine. Ingawa ninakuelewa uliposema kuwa ndoa yako ilikufa siku nyingi ndio maana nikauliza lile swali langu la kipuuzi ni muda gani umeishi na mumeo katika hali ya makasheshe? Kwa sababu kama alikutenda kwa muda mrefu, kwa nini umesubiri muda hadi mkatengana miezi nane iliyopita? Ulikuwa unavumilia nini?

Ndeonasiae said:

Nahisi kuna baadhi wanaingiza emotions za maisha yao binafsi huku jamii forums! Hi EDSON im just saying!

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bahati nzur nimechagua fungu lililo sahihi sana.......kunung'unika uzeeni sikutaka toka mwanzo....na bahati nzuri upande niliopo hauruhusu hilo kutokea for the rest of my life...kwako wewe hili hulikwepi ni doa halitafutika na hapa umeleta uzi huu ili usaidiwe ila kama ulitegemea ushauri in one dimension hapa jf utapata in three dimension!!!....

ulitarajia upewejibu la ndio uko huru kufanya?!!! im sorry....wengi humu hatuishi na wewe yaliyokukuta ni yako na hatujui kisa kizima cha talaka kama Eiyer alivyosema9anashindwa hata namna ya kukusaidiaa. jana Preta alileta uzi muri wa kufundana sijui kama uliusoma.... ukiniambia mimi kuwa unadai talaka kisa mmeo anakupiga bila kutaja sababu ya kupigwa haiji akilini.... you are in a state of captivitity of negativity and its killing you slowly!!!....you a captive of your own identity living in prison of your own creation....pole sana...we dai talaka kwanza kisha undelee na mambo yako na hao watoto uwambie usiwafiche wamjue huyo uncle wao.......

There is no where I said I want to go back to him, nimejiridhisha kabisa wapendwa yani kwa rohosafi, nilikuwa napenda tu kujua je inakuwaje kuhusu mtu kuanzisha uhusiano mpya? unajua unafiki kwamba eti nikae maisha yangu yote bila mahusiano sidhani kama ni mzuri ndio maana kuna watu wanakumbwa na matukio watu wote wanabaki mmhhh hawaamini, wakati ni watu walio huru na wanaweza kufuata taratibu za kawaida, kuficha utamficha nani? mungu na watu baadhi wanakuona! and why should I tesa my moyo at first place?? nadhani ni vema tuongee ukweli, nadhani principles za maisha ya kufikirika zinashindwaga kwa kiasi kikubwa watu wanabaki kuongea mdomoni kuwa wao ni wasafi, kumbe!