Biblia inasema hivi: enyi wanaume muishi na wanawake kwa akili;hapa ni habari tosha kuwa tangu kale wanawake ni complicated,lakini hii ni kwa wanao amini aya za Biblia.
Na bible yangu inaniambia kuwa ...enyi waume wapendeni wake zenu..... enyi wake waheshimuni waume zenu....
Mume yeyote awe mwenye elimu, tajiri, maskini anastahili heshima, na hii ni kwa wanaume wote hata kama angekuwa mbilikimo. Hiyo attribute kwa wanaume ndiyo dominant.
Mke yeyote anahitaji kupendwa kwa dhati kwa kuonyesha kwa vitendo (practically) na si theories. Upendo utasababisha mke ajione ni salama (secured), assured, etc. Ndivyo walivyo wanawake na kama mume akitenda tofauti na hapo fahamu tatizo litatokea tu.
Sasa basi kama unampenda mkeo kwa dhati basi uaminifu utakuwepo katika maisha yenu ya ndoa. Pia penda kudumisha traditions zenu za urafiki na uchumba, zawadi (cards, love letters), special days, day out, etc. Na kubwa mshirikishe shughuli zako ajione yuko part of her husband plans and achievements.
Kinachoua mahusiano au ndoa nyingi ni ubinafsi wa kutotaka kutoa heshima au upendo wako kwa mwenzio. Jimwage jamani na nyumba au relationship utaiona inalipa na ni ya manufaa.
Zingatia pia kuwa ndoa au relationship changa zinahitaji special care and treatment. Wakati huu ni mgumu sana maana ndipo the true colours zinaonyeshwa toka pande zote mbili. Muda huu pia wapenzi huwa wanaogopa kuambiana ukweli wa misimamo maana anaogopa kumuumiza mwenzake. Hili ni kosa kubwa sana. Kama at the infancy stage hasa ya ndoa mwenzi anaonyesha tabia ambayo ni ngumu kuichukulia then immediately muaanze kuyaweka mambo wazi na kutaka kueleza ukweli wa jinsi ambavyo hupendi tabia hiyo. Ukiogopa kumrudi mapema ujue kabisa unapalilia kichuguu cha moto hapo baadaye mtakapozoeana bila kurekebisha ya nyuma ndipo mabomu ya hasira za muda mrefu yanalipuka na huwezi kuyahimili. Mwishowe basi either ndoa isambaratike, kutengana, kuishi ndani kama paka na mbwa au mwishowe suicide.
Nina ndoa ya miaka kumi na kui maintain hadi hapa nilipo si kazi ndogo. Najitahidi wakati wote kumheshimu hubby wangu regardless of my education level, employment status (vyeo). When it comes hubby issues my friend I forget office business. At the same time my hubby shows care and love constantly hadi wakati mwingine naona he is doing too much for me. In those 10 years, no matusi, kupigwa kugombezwa, etc. Na si kwamba wakati mwingine sikosei la hasa, huwa ana namna ya ku solve problem tukiwa pamoja na tunafikia muafaka. Same to me kama kuna jambo ambalo sikulifurahia hata kama ni dogo basi tunalizungumza na linamalizika tena kwa style ile......... hapo kila kitu unasahau naanza life upya. Hivyo basi, kutoelewana hata kwa jambo ndogo please usilale bila kuli clear.
Last but not the least, try to do little extras to each other (e.g tengeneza ka speacial meal when at home for hubby, hubby takes care ya kazi za mama kidogo nyumbani hata kumtengenezea kichai). Unajua little extras ni nyingi na ndizo ninaamsha ari ya mapenzi kwa mume na mke na hamtachokana.
All the Best to waume na wake and the aspirants into the club welcome!!1