Wanawake huwa wanapenda/kuhitaji nini?

Malila · Sep 24, 2008

Naomba nichangie tena kidogo;
Mwanamke anataka kukaa katikati ya moyo wa mumewe, sentesi hii ni pana.Nitaifafanua kidogo, yaani ajihakikishie kuwa nafasi yake kwa mumewe inatambuliwa na kupewa heshima yote. Yeye kama mdau mkuu wa familia yako kwa nini asijue kwa mfano, salary slip yako, kwa nini usimwambie unataka kununua shamba/kiwanja mpaka aambiwe na mtu mwingine kuwa mmeo ana shamba/kiwanja,kwa nini hajui a/c yako iko benki gani nk Yahitaji akili kuishi nao.

Na sisi wanaume tunakurupuka ktk uamuzi tunapooa,wengine wameoa qualification za wanawake sio mke.Mdada humjui( kukutana ofisini,au kuwa chuoni haitoshi hata kidogo),familia zingine zina laana(wanaume/wanawake).

Kuna moja kali niliipata Dsm, ukoo mzima hakuna mdada ambaye ameweza kuishi kwa mume zaidi ya miaka kumi bila kuachika,ila ni visura hasa na buku wamepiga la kutosha.

Tuya · Sep 24, 2008

Hilo swali ni gumu kwakweli na halina jibu kwakua kila binadamu anazaliwa na tabia zake kwanza huwezi kusema wanawake wanatabia zakufanana hilo nakataa. pili unaweza kujitahidi kumtimizia mke wako wakati huo uo kunavitu unamkwaza bila kujua pengine hauko muwazi kwakwe unaanya mambo yako kwakificho, husiki mwanamke anapenda kubembelezwa nakujaliwa pengine we humjali wala humbemelezi kisa ushaoa basi.

uporoto01 · Sep 25, 2008

haika said:
halafu wala hutakiwi kuwajua wanawake wanahitaji nini.

Wewe mjue mkeo tu anatosha.

Ha ha ha ha! hapa sina mbavu,jibu lako zuri sana.

uporoto01 · Sep 25, 2008

Lorain said:
Pengine kuongezea, muweke wazi katika shughuli zako na pengine mara nyingi penda kwenda naye unapokutana na wanaume wenzako, sio kwamba na yeye ahudhurie hicho kikao lakini anaweza kukusubiria pembeni. Pia wewe ambatana naye kwenye kitchen party msubiri pembeni. Unapombusu au kuongea kumbuka kumwangalia machoni kila wakati. Mnapokuwa ndani ya nyumba kaeni kwenye sofa moja, mda ukiruhusu kuleni pamoja. Kwa kweli kama hatoridhika na mambo haya basi hili litakuwa lijimwanamke na matatizo yako.

Hapa dada lorain naomba nitafautiane nawe kidogo hilo la kumfata mumeo na kumsubiri pembeni au yeye kukufata kwenye kitchen party na kusubiri nje utaharibu,mimi niko kwenye ndoa zaidi ya miaka 10 na nina siku yangu ya 'night with the boys' na mke wangu pia ana siku yake ya 'catching up with the gossip' as she puts it.Jipeni uhuru na muaminiane mtaishi vizuri,usifatishe ule msemo wa 'abiria chunga mzigo wako' mtachokana haraka.

Fatmas · Sep 25, 2008

Men tend to think that everything that is important to them should be important to their female partners as well, while women are inclined to sacrifice what they want to please the people close to them
give and take

Each of us has habits and behaviours that get on the nerves of the people with whom we share our living space. Theres always going to be something about living with your significant other that absolutely drives you up the wall. The key to not losing your mind is to remember all the great things about spending time with your partner whenever youre about to flip your lip over the pile of socks on the bedroom floor. Being a boy is not an excuse to leave all the housework to your lady. Youll both have to make adjustments in order to keep the peace

Aunty Lao · Sep 25, 2008

lagatege said:
Hapa dada lorain naomba nitafautiane nawe kidogo hilo la kumfata mumeo na kumsubiri pembeni au yeye kukufata kwenye kitchen party na kusubiri nje utaharibu,mimi niko kwenye ndoa zaidi ya miaka 10 na nina siku yangu ya 'night with the boys' na mke wangu pia ana siku yake ya 'catching up with the gossip' as she puts it.Jipeni uhuru na muaminiane mtaishi vizuri,usifatishe ule msemo wa 'abiria chunga mzigo wako' mtachokana haraka.

Asante sana kwa jibu lako, nilikuwa sijui kumbe watu wakifatana fatana huwa wanachokana. Na kumbe huu msemo wakuchokana ni kweli upo. Dah! nimeishiwa nguvu kabisa, basi nadhani hamna haja ya kuishi na mwenza kama baadae mtakuja chokana! Ni heri kila mtu aishi kivyake leo nichukue fulani baada ya kuchuja kama nguo basi niangilie mwingine mpaya..... Ehe kweli dunia hadaaa, walimwengu shujaaaa. Nimepata kamshtuko kidogo kusikia hilo.

Kungurumweupe · Sep 25, 2008

maane said:
Na bible yangu inaniambia kuwa ...enyi waume wapendeni wake zenu..... enyi wake waheshimuni waume zenu....

Mume yeyote awe mwenye elimu, tajiri, maskini anastahili heshima, na hii ni kwa wanaume wote hata kama angekuwa mbilikimo. Hiyo attribute kwa wanaume ndiyo dominant.

Mke yeyote anahitaji kupendwa kwa dhati kwa kuonyesha kwa vitendo (practically) na si theories. Upendo utasababisha mke ajione ni salama (secured), assured, etc. Ndivyo walivyo wanawake na kama mume akitenda tofauti na hapo fahamu tatizo litatokea tu.

Sasa basi kama unampenda mkeo kwa dhati basi uaminifu utakuwepo katika maisha yenu ya ndoa. Pia penda kudumisha traditions zenu za urafiki na uchumba, zawadi (cards, love letters), special days, day out, etc. Na kubwa mshirikishe shughuli zako ajione yuko part of her husband plans and achievements.

Kinachoua mahusiano au ndoa nyingi ni ubinafsi wa kutotaka kutoa heshima au upendo wako kwa mwenzio. Jimwage jamani na nyumba au relationship utaiona inalipa na ni ya manufaa.

Zingatia pia kuwa ndoa au relationship changa zinahitaji special care and treatment. Wakati huu ni mgumu sana maana ndipo the true colours zinaonyeshwa toka pande zote mbili. Muda huu pia wapenzi huwa wanaogopa kuambiana ukweli wa misimamo maana anaogopa kumuumiza mwenzake. Hili ni kosa kubwa sana. Kama at the infancy stage hasa ya ndoa mwenzi anaonyesha tabia ambayo ni ngumu kuichukulia then immediately muaanze kuyaweka mambo wazi na kutaka kueleza ukweli wa jinsi ambavyo hupendi tabia hiyo. Ukiogopa kumrudi mapema ujue kabisa unapalilia kichuguu cha moto hapo baadaye mtakapozoeana bila kurekebisha ya nyuma ndipo mabomu ya hasira za muda mrefu yanalipuka na huwezi kuyahimili. Mwishowe basi either ndoa isambaratike, kutengana, kuishi ndani kama paka na mbwa au mwishowe suicide.

Nina ndoa ya miaka kumi na kui maintain hadi hapa nilipo si kazi ndogo. Najitahidi wakati wote kumheshimu hubby wangu regardless of my education level, employment status (vyeo). When it comes hubby issues my friend I forget office business. At the same time my hubby shows care and love constantly hadi wakati mwingine naona he is doing too much for me. In those 10 years, no matusi, kupigwa kugombezwa, etc. Na si kwamba wakati mwingine sikosei la hasa, huwa ana namna ya ku solve problem tukiwa pamoja na tunafikia muafaka. Same to me kama kuna jambo ambalo sikulifurahia hata kama ni dogo basi tunalizungumza na linamalizika tena kwa style ile......... hapo kila kitu unasahau naanza life upya. Hivyo basi, kutoelewana hata kwa jambo ndogo please usilale bila kuli clear.

Last but not the least, try to do little extras to each other (e.g tengeneza ka speacial meal when at home for hubby, hubby takes care ya kazi za mama kidogo nyumbani hata kumtengenezea kichai). Unajua little extras ni nyingi na ndizo ninaamsha ari ya mapenzi kwa mume na mke na hamtachokana.

All the Best to waume na wake and the aspirants into the club welcome!!1

Your explanation is all about an abstract family on the earth!

Kungurumweupe · Sep 25, 2008

haika said:
You can not and should not bank your happiness on someone else.
Wewe uwe na amani na furaha yako binafsi, mwenzi wako atacomplement tu.
Kama mwanamke au mwanaume anategemea apate mwenzi wake ndo ampe hayo, atakuwa dissapointed tu.

Mapenzi ni kutoa, na kutoa na kutoa, sio give and take kama tunavyodanganyana siku hizi.
Kwa mantiki hii ni muhimu kuchagua mtu alielelewa katika mazingira ambayo wewe unaweza kujiingiza humo. Ndio sababu wazee wetu walisaidia katika kuchunguza familia nzima unayotaka kuoa au kuolewa kujua mazoea yao ili mtoto wao asipate shida.

Mfano ndio haya makabila wanayojulikana ya wachoyo, wabahili, wanaotesa wanawake, wavivu, wachapa kazi, waongo, wezi, wazinifu nk.
Naona enzi za kutafutiana wachumba zimerudi kwa kasi sana, wengi wameshagundua jicho lako pekee haliwezi kuona mke/mume mzuri, bora ushirikishe wengine wakusaidie.
Tuliomo ndani ndio basi tena tunavuna tulichopanda.

Mwanamke ni simple sana, tunataka tuwe queen of our universes. Basi.
We jitahidi umpende mkeo, (kumuelewa sio rahisi sana kama walivyosema hapo juu) Mpende, mpende mpende na mpende tuuuuu.
Jinsi ya kumpende utajifunza kwake na kwa marafiki zake na ndugu zake.
Hivyo tu.

Haika,

Can't you talk of a reciprocating love! Why should a man give everything to a woman especially in these days of HAKI SAWA KWA WOTE BILA KUJALI JINSIA!

MwalimuZawadi · Sep 25, 2008

Wanawake hawataki chochote cha ajabu, wanataka wanachoona wanaume wanakitaka wakitake

Kibunango · Sep 25, 2008

mwalimuzawadi said:
Wanawake hawataki chochote cha ajabu, wanataka wanachoona wanaume wanakitaka wakitake

Hii imekaa kimafumbo sana, unweza kuielezea kwa urefu kidogo?

Boma · Sep 25, 2008

womenofsubstanc said:
Any woman (and I believe same goes for a man), needs a good relationship where there is love, peace and understanding. So, saying that women dont know what they need is an understatement. A relationship will only work, if expectations and needs of both the man and the woman are met, and both must be ready to study and understand each other thoroughly.It looks like this often is not the case that is why there is so much pain and misery in relationships.
Men usually enter a relationship or marriage expecting their mate/lover to be a playmate and share their recreational interests. Women enter a relationship or marriage hoping to find a loyal best friend.
Men want a recreational companion. Women want a loyal companion.
Men need recreation in order to relax. Women need loyalty in order to feel secure
Both need their own interests but they also need interests that overlap. They need playtime together.
Both need their own space and privacy but they also need to come together and support each other.
He needs a lot of recreational time together. She needs the support and loyalty that makes her feel secure.
When a woman usually goes her way while a man usually goes his way, the "ways" often part. When he does not support her, she may look for security elsewhere. When she doesn't act as a recreational companion, he may look for a playmate elsewhere.

YAANI womenofsubstanchapa umesema ukweli over 90%. CONGRATULATION kwa kuwa una-experience ya marriage na umetoa soma zuri sana

Haika · Sep 26, 2008

Kungurumweupe said:
Haika,

Can't you talk of a reciprocating love! Why should a man give everything to a woman especially in these days of HAKI SAWA KWA WOTE BILA KUJALI JINSIA!

anzisha mada ya watu wanataka nini katika mahusiano btn sexes.
kwa leo ni wanawake wanataka nini.

au wanawake wanatakiwa watoe nini/mchango gani? tutajadili tu bila hiana.

uporoto01 · Sep 26, 2008

haika said:
anzisha mada ya watu wanataka nini katika mahusiano btn sexes.
kwa leo ni wanawake wanataka nini.

au wanawake wanatakiwa watoe nini/mchango gani? tutajadili tu bila hiana.

Napenda majibu yako.

uporoto01 · Sep 26, 2008

Lorain said:
Asante sana kwa jibu lako, nilikuwa sijui kumbe watu wakifatana fatana huwa wanachokana. Na kumbe huu msemo wakuchokana ni kweli upo. Dah! nimeishiwa nguvu kabisa, basi nadhani hamna haja ya kuishi na mwenza kama baadae mtakuja chokana! Ni heri kila mtu aishi kivyake leo nichukue fulani baada ya kuchuja kama nguo basi niangilie mwingine mpaya..... Ehe kweli dunia hadaaa, walimwengu shujaaaa. Nimepata kamshtuko kidogo kusikia hilo.

Mbona jibu lako kama umekata tamaa? mi nilikupa uzoefu wangu,ndoa ina raha na karaha zake lakini ningerudishwa nyuma na kuulizwa kama baada ya kua kwenye ndoa naijutia nasema hapana ni kitu kizuri sana na kimenipa furaha ya ajabu.Jipeni space mtadumu.

Mshiiri · Sep 28, 2008

Bado mnazunguka mbuyu haiwezekani swali moja likawa na majibu meeeeeeengi! Hapa kuna double standard hat Haika, Lorain, Lagatende, QM, Kibunango n.k. ukiwauliza tena hili swali watajibu vingine. Hii kumaanisha a guess work sort of thing. Hata kwa mfano unapomuuliza hili swali mwanamke ambaye amekuwa kwenye mood mbaya na mme wake atakujibu tofauti na akiwa wanacheka au nafuraha ya relations.

Nimetafiti na nimegundua hivyo likewise kama mme ametoka tu kwenye hard conversation na mkewe atakujibu tofauti na akiwa in a right mood. Hata majibu hapo juu nimeyapitia kwa kina sana na nimegundua wale walio na more difficult relations wamejibu vizuri kuliko walion na soft n smooth relations.

Hii inammanisha wametia akili walio katika difficult relations kuliko hawa ndugu zangu laiiiiini. Hujibu kwa fedheha au kutokujua kwani aliaye ndio aliyefikiwa na msiba.

Endleeeni kuchangia mawazo na mwishoni nitajumuisha majibu yenu yenye akili kwenye utafiti na ku-analyse ili kuwapeni jibu moja la swali moja. Karibuni na asanteni.

Rodelite · Sep 28, 2008

womenofsubstanc said:
Any woman (and I believe same goes for a man), needs a good relationship where there is love, peace and understanding. So, saying that women dont know what they need is an understatement. A relationship will only work, if expectations and needs of both the man and the woman are met, and both must be ready to study and understand each other thoroughly.It looks like this often is not the case that is why there is so much pain and misery in relationships.
Men usually enter a relationship or marriage expecting their mate/lover to be a playmate and share their recreational interests. Women enter a relationship or marriage hoping to find a loyal best friend.
Men want a recreational companion. Women want a loyal companion.
Men need recreation in order to relax. Women need loyalty in order to feel secure
Both need their own interests but they also need interests that overlap. They need playtime together.
Both need their own space and privacy but they also need to come together and support each other.
He needs a lot of recreational time together. She needs the support and loyalty that makes her feel secure. When a woman usually goes her way while a man usually goes his way, the "ways" often part. When he does not support her, she may look for security elsewhere. When she doesn't act as a recreational companion, he may look for a playmate elsewhere.

"Womenofsubstance"
I totally agree to the above piece of information. I learnt the hard way and still paying the price for it. My wife and I started as college best friends. Until after a year and a half is when the other feelings started to develop. We got married and had a good, smooth marriage (of course like every marriage ups and downs were there)...But there was Love and Friendship for many years until when my sisters came over and stayed with us for some time.
When mywife brought some issues to my attention (that she didn't appreciate) I told her that...."just let it go" because I don't like confrontations....and on top of that....I worked so much that I didn't pay much attention to what was going on....so long as my wife and kids were fine....that was good....(My Mistake).
My wife felt that I didn't act as a protector to her....and ....since then I have been trying to mend our relationship....trying to bring the Love and Friendship back.......but if we have a small argument....she brings it all back....(She's not letting it go) So....as a result I might get some may be once a month, two months, and sometimes in three months (only when she asks for it) This is Very Frustrating. But I Love my wife so I will keep on trying to bring the old friend back.

Mshiiri · Oct 2, 2008

Mbona kimya thread haiendi kabisa watu wangu. Bado muafaka haujapatikana kabisaaaa hapa! Wana JF sugueni vichwa kwa hoja nzito zenye fikra chanya

WomanOfSubstance · Oct 2, 2008

mshiiri..
Watu wakiwa kimya ujue labda wameishiwa na michango kwa maana ya kwamba mambo muhimu yeshasemwa, au wanatafakari zaidi.Vuta subira. Kama ulivyosema wewe mwenyewe hakuna force ya kuwafanya waseme sana kwa sasa labda wengi hawana ishu na spouses/partners wao.... ishu zikiibuka watachangamka wakuwekee yale unayotaka kusikia....

WomanOfSubstance · Oct 2, 2008

Rodelite said:
"Womenofsubstance"
I totally agree to the above piece of information. I learnt the hard way and still paying the price for it. My wife and I started as college best friends. Until after a year and a half is when the other feelings started to develop. We got married and had a good, smooth marriage (of course like every marriage ups and downs were there)...But there was Love and Friendship for many years until when my sisters came over and stayed with us for some time.
When mywife brought some issues to my attention (that she didn't appreciate) I told her that...."just let it go" because I don't like confrontations....and on top of that....I worked so much that I didn't pay much attention to what was going on....so long as my wife and kids were fine....that was good....(My Mistake).
My wife felt that I didn't act as a protector to her....and ....since then I have been trying to mend our relationship....trying to bring the Love and Friendship back.......but if we have a small argument....she brings it all back....(She's not letting it go) So....as a result I might get some may be once a month, two months, and sometimes in three months (only when she asks for it) This is Very Frustrating. But I Love my wife so I will keep on trying to bring the old friend back.

Rodelite,
I can relate a lot with what u r saying.. i believe many will agree with u too.

BabaDesi · Oct 2, 2008

mohammedzahor said:
my mom told me you never know with the women. it is a matter of trying, but don't keep your hopes high that you can satisfy them. just know that they are very diferrent creatures of which only God knows the complication within them because he is the one who created them. but the best of all. no one can satisfy any woman.especially man because woman was made by love and man was not..

....Was your Mum a fan of Author James Hadley Chase?? Just asking, teh teh.

Wanawake huwa wanapenda/kuhitaji nini?

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