AshaDii
Platinum Member
- Apr 16, 2011
- 16,189
- 18,102
saint ivuga
Mwali swali zuri sana, kuna watu wapo kwenye mahusiano ya ugf na ubf lakini anajua kabisa huyu sitomuoa au sitoelewa nae na sababu nyingi kama ulivyozisema. Tatizo hakuna kati yao anaejitahidi kushape behaviour ya mwenzie iendane na vigezo vyake na ndio maana malalamiko hayaishi, wanaume wanataka kuoa malaika. Hakuna malaika jamani ulimwengu huu na umri unakimbia.
Kilaza,
Ndugu yangu mke huwa hatafutwi, yani inatokea tu una date mtu hadi unaona mmh hapa sasa sina ujanja.
Mwenzako mimi nilikuwa nimemaliza chuo nipo kitaa sina kazi full kujirusha tuu na washikaji naanza starehe Alhamisi namaliza Jumapili na sitoki club had nisikie swalaaa swalaa lol...kipindi hiko sina hata mpango wa kuoa mtu akisema swala la ndoa namuona mshamba and thats when i met MRS Right.
Nilikuwa na mshikaji tunatoka usiku one akapigiwa simu na cousin yake binti aliyekuwa anasoma chuo Dsm akiomba twende tuka wa pick hostel coz nae alikuwa na shosti wake wangependa kwenda out. Mshikaji alichomoa,lakini nikamsihi tukawachukue after all itakuwa poa kuwa na company. That night nili dance sana na cousin yake mshikaji huku jicho langu lipo kwa shosti wake na cousin. Maana alikuwa anang'aa hadi balaa.Offcoz mshikaji alikuwa ana dance na shosti mtu ambaye ndio my waifu wangu kwa sasa. After hapo tuka date kwa takriban miaka 4 alikuwa akitaja swala la ndoa ananitibua lakini finally nikaoa huyo huyo.
Kweli ndugu hapo nilitumia lugha chafu, vizuri kwa ku highlighted kosa langu.Mimi mmoja nimekasirika kwa hiyo lugha uliyotumia kwenye red.
Naweza nikasema kua kitu ambacho wanawake wengi tunakosea ni ile kuchagua kua kati ya a hot crazy chic na a decent lady.... Wanasahau ama wanashindwa tambua kua you can be both, yooote kutegemea na timing. Daima as a woman or lady strive to be something your man is proud of katika mazingira yoyote yale.
The secret in all this ni wewe mwanamke kutambua kua wewe ni mwanamke, kua proud kua wewe ni mwanamkea na play your role as a woman beside your manMwanaume atoke nje kwa tama. a zake, ama maybe tu imetokea bahati mbaya au maybe tu hamjablend, lakini sio sababu eti kukudefine wewe ni wife material hufai. You as a woman inabidi ukiwa nyumbani be a Great Wife and Mama, na ukiwa na your man mtaani mpaka wenzie waulize "Is she your gal friend/nyumba ndogo?" Nakubali na najua ni ngumu.... But it is possible.
My mwali is this true.... Dah! Mbona anafanya mambo kienyeji? lol
Nikimnukulu Mwali, "Wife material ni mpole, mtiifu, ana background nzuri, ni msomi kiasi, future oriented etc. Girlfriend material ana sura na umbo nzuri, ni mcheshi, anapenda kwenda out, ni mtundu kiasi."
Kitu cha kwanza ni kuondokana na hiyo dhana.
Kama walivyosema baadhi hapo juu, kwangu mimi mke pia ni girlfriend na ni "nyumba ndogo" , mhudumu wa bar, trafiki, etc in her own right. Inategemea na mazingira...wapi, wakati gani, kwa namna gani! Hivyo ni muhumu saaaana kupata mke/mume ambaye ni FLEXIBLE kulingana na mazingira ili aweze kucope na hali mbali mbali zinavyojitokeza.
Kaizer ukitulia nakukubali sana.... perfect adviser, perfect mume,perfect friend...lol
Yaani wewe dearest...natamani kasehemu tu ka akili yako na utulivu wako, niki-blend na haka kangu basi maisha yangu yatabadilika..:A S-coffee:
He he he dearest, Mwali alishanidokeza mimi kama dada yake na lost twin wake...taratibu za kuwafikia zinaendelea...msimchape!
You mean if you were a dude with the same mentality as the one you have now.Lizzy umenipa akili... Ila hiyo balance sio rahisi kupata...
Hapo juu ulipo sema kuhusu majukumu ni kweli kabisa.
Mi naona siri ya mapenzi ya kabla ya ndoa ni ile spontaneity na kule kufurahia the moment you live, hata kama hamna chochote. bahati mbaya mkisha oana basi, yanaisha. spouses wengi wanakua focused sana kwenye pesa, na mara nyingi wenye future. Hakuna ubaya ila usipo furahia tulicho nacho sasa hivi hata hicho unacho vizia kutata kesho huto furahia. Na hapo ndipo unaona mmoja anaanza kutafuta a spontanious friend wa kupoteza mawazo...
BTW, if I was a dude I would marry you too, I love challenging minds. lol
My mwali is this true.... Dah! Mbona anafanya mambo kienyeji? lol
Muongo huyo Anti! nilimkanya akakimbia haraka. he is just trying to position himself. lolHe he he dearest, Mwali alishanidokeza mimi kama dada yake na lost twin wake...taratibu za kuwafikia zinaendelea...msimchape!
Nikimnukulu Mwali, "Wife material ni mpole, mtiifu, ana background nzuri, ni msomi kiasi, future oriented etc. Girlfriend material ana sura na umbo nzuri, ni mcheshi, anapenda kwenda out, ni mtundu kiasi."
Kitu cha kwanza ni kuondokana na hiyo dhana.
Kama walivyosema baadhi hapo juu, kwangu mimi mke pia ni girlfriend na ni "nyumba ndogo" , mhudumu wa bar, trafiki, etc in her own right. Inategemea na mazingira...wapi, wakati gani, kwa namna gani! Hivyo ni muhumu saaaana kupata mke/mume ambaye ni FLEXIBLE kulingana na mazingira ili aweze kucope na hali mbali mbali zinavyojitokeza.
Hivyo basi, Mwali mpwa wangu, be yourself. Kama unapenda kwenda club, na any other social activities za girlfriends, zifanye. Kama pia wapenda kuact kama 'wife material' then be...ILA tu usipretend kwa sababu hii ndo number one killer ya mahusiano yoyote yale. Ukiishi kama wewe, utampata ambaye atapenda maisha yako yalivyo, na wewe utayapenda.
Dah! kweli nikimpata huyo mtu lazima harusi mtasimamia nyinyi tu. Ona hapo in green vile mmoja ana echoe mwenzie...Naweza nikasema kua kitu ambacho wanawake wengi tunakosea ni ile kuchagua kua kati ya a hot crazy chic na a decent lady.... Wanasahau ama wanashindwa tambua kua you can be both, yooote kutegemea na timing. Daima as a woman or lady strive to be something your man is proud of katika mazingira yoyote yale.
The secret in all this ni wewe mwanamke kutambua kua wewe ni mwanamke, kua proud kua wewe ni mwanamkea na play your role as a woman beside your man. Mwanaume atoke nje kwa tamaa zake, ama maybe tu imetokea bahati mbaya au maybe tu hamjablend, lakini sio sababu eti kukudefine wewe ni wife material hufai. You as a woman inabidi ukiwa nyumbani be a Great Wife and Mama, na ukiwa na your man mtaani mpaka wenzie waulize "Is she your gal friend/nyumba ndogo?" Nakubali na najua ni ngumu.... But it is possible.
If I was a 'dude' maybe. . .lolz
Nwy. . Binafsi nadhani mtu anaweza akawa na zote, za mke na za girlfriend, za mume na za boyfriend. Tatizo ni kwamba wengine wakishaingia kwenye ndoa hata kama mwanzoni walikua exciting, fun, sweet, caringand wild chumbani basi wanaacha kwasababu wanaona hawahitaji tena kuwa walivyokua kwasababu ndege yupo tunduni tayari. Maisha yanaanza kurevolve around 'bills' na 'pesa za matumizi'. . Simu zikipigwa/text zikitumwa sio za 'umeshakula mpenzi? Nimekumiss!! Nakupenda!! Jana ulifanya siku yangu nzuri sana!!" ni za "Ile pesa mbona hukuacha? Hao walevi wenzako ndio muhimu ehhh? Mi naenda kwa shogangu??Sitorudi nyumbani leo! Sina pesa" n.k
Maisha yanakua stressful tena bila mtu wa kusaidia kuzipunguza kwasababu mtegemewa ndie anaesababisha. Sauti (tone) ndani ya nyumba inabadilika, unyumba leo huyu akimnyima mwenzie kesho mwingine nae anakataa, mama anamwachia kila kitu housegirl wakati kipingi cha 'upenzi' alikua analazimisha akamsafishie mwanaume chumba kila wiki na kumpikia hata weekend, mama anaona kitanda hakitoshi (kidogo anabanwa) wakati kipindi cha upenzi alikua analalamika ni namna gani anahisi upweke usiku, mwanaume akitoka kazini anaenda kupata kinywaji kwanza kwasababu kukutana na mke bila kinywaji ni mwanzo wa maumivu ya kichwa wakati kipindi cha upenzi alifanana na mtu asiyekunywa na mengine kama hayo.
Watu hua wanadai kwamba majukumu ndio yanayowabadilisha ila mimi nasema hapana. Majukumu yanaweza yakambadili mtu kidogo na sio kumfanya awe mtu mwingine kabisa kama ilivyo kwa baadhi ya watu.
Maintain a lil bit of you crazy self, your silly self, your sweet self, your charming self, your caring self, your wise/smart self, your generous self and enjoy life. That way your man/woman will enjoy having you just aswell.
Sweetie what can I possibly say hapa? When you hear your MAN defining you this way behind you back...... Tonight you will see how Grateful I really am of this post and how I truly Love you.....(blushing):busu
Ukisema wewe maybe hatimae they will understand why I am proudly his....lol... Mzima Michelle?
Nashindwa kuamini kua such an descriptive analysis iliishia hapo... twambie how do we overcome this then? tunafanyaje to keep the flame alive?
This is deep Mamamia. Ngoja nii print niweke ukutani...Mimi mmoja nimekasirika kwa hiyo lugha uliyotumia kwenye red.
:focus:Labda nianze na kuelezea vile maisha yanapokuwa kabla na baada ya ndoa.
Wakati wa u-bf/u-gf:
- Kila mmoja anaishi kwao/kwake (hamko chini ya paa moja masaa 24). Katika kipindi hiki, kuonana yenu inakuwa ya nadra na kupanga. Kunakuwepo na maandalizi japo madogo kabla kuonana - nitoke vipi, niji-behave vipi, tuonane wapi (nisionekane). ME hata kama kachacha, siku hii atajipigapiga; KE atafanya aonekane asivyoonekana.Kila mmoja atataka aonekane mzuri, nje kimwonekano na ndani kitabia.
Mnapoishi pamoja, iwe kwenye ndoa au kukaa pamoja tu.
- Kwanza ile hali tu ya kuwepo pamoja tu 24hrs a day, 7days a week, all the time inabadilisha kila kitu, (hapa simaanishi kuwa hakuna anayeondoka alipo lakini katika masaa 24 ya siku angalau saa 6-8 mtakuwa pamoja). Hakuna tena kujiandaa uonekane vipi, kila mmoja anakuwa kama aivyo katika uhalisia wake, ambavyo mwenzake hakuwahi kumwona kabla ya kuishi pamoja. Zile caring, worrying, treating, listening, behaving...za wakati wa u-bf/-u-gf zinaanza kuyeyuka. Zile samahani zilizokuwa zinatolewa bure, mfano alipokuwa gf/bf unapiga simu imezimwa, hapatikani anazungumza dkk 30 saa moja badae unaambiwa nilikuwa mkutanoni, niliweka silence, iliisha chaji; ule uongo au kweli wa kuwa leo ninaenda kumwona shangazi, wiki ijayo nitakuwa mkutanoni... unaamini kila kitu bila ya maswali wala masharti; lakini mkiwa pamoja unaanza kuzidadisi, kuomba maelezo kamili, na pengine kutilia shaka.
Suluhisho
- Tuwe kama tulivyo wakati wa u-bf/u-gf. Usijaribu utake kuonekana vyengine na kujenga picha ambayo iko siku "itaungua" na kubaki "negative". Ikiwa atakukubali kama ulivyo leo na mkakubaliana iwe hivyo, atakayedai ziada anajitafutia presha za bure.
- Ndoa/kuishi pamoja ni ahadi na wajibu, timiza; ni haki, itoe; ni kuvumiliana, vumilia; ni kusamehe, samehe; ni kupenda na kuheshimiana, penda na heshimu ili nawe upendwe na kuheshimiwa.
- Ingawa wengine wanaweza kukataa, nahisi ule mvuto wa siku/miaka ya nyuma; zile nilizozitaja hapo juu: caring, worrying, treating, listening, behaving...zinaweza kufa kidogo kidogo kama hamkuzidumisha kwa maneno na vitendo; yale mapenzi moto moto yanaweza kufifia kidogo kidogo. Na sio kwa sababu hampendani wala hamtakani, lakini hamna wakati wa kutosha kama mlipokuwa mnaishi mbali mbali. Lakini kama alivyosema Lizzy, basi nobe ndani ya saa 24 unashindwa hata kumega saa moja ya kuwa na mpenzi wako ya kuishi mkajikumbusha na kutenda yale yaliyokuwa yanawapagaza mlipokuwa gf/bf?
Sweetie what can I possibly say hapa? When you hear your MAN defining you this way behind you back...... Tonight you will see how Grateful I really am of this post and how I truly Love you.....(blushing):busu
Chaboooooooooooooooo, on my way....najipaka dawa ya mbu nakuja hapo kuchungulia......am excited....lol 😛hoto:
Mi mzima,wivu tu umenikaba...wenzangu wakisifiwa mi kila siku natangaziwa kasoro mpya...you are lucky,take care of Kaizer!