Da Womanizer
JF-Expert Member
- May 24, 2010
- 1,577
- 150
Exactly, thats my point dear.
Exactly, thats my point dear.No, I don't. but what is your point? Kwamba ningekua mwanaume ningekua too different from what I am as a woman?
Naamini kua restrictions za gender ni biological and social zaidi, but at the individual level the boundary is fuzzy... and the personality may very well be the same, no matter your gender. but this is another (sensitive) debate that we can have later, maybe in another thread.Exactly, thats my point dear.
Mimi mmoja nimekasirika kwa hiyo lugha uliyotumia kwenye red.
:focus:Labda nianze na kuelezea vile maisha yanapokuwa kabla na baada ya ndoa.
Wakati wa u-bf/u-gf:
- Kila mmoja anaishi kwao/kwake (hamko chini ya paa moja masaa 24). Katika kipindi hiki, kuonana yenu inakuwa ya nadra na kupanga. Kunakuwepo na maandalizi japo madogo kabla kuonana - nitoke vipi, niji-behave vipi, tuonane wapi (nisionekane). ME hata kama kachacha, siku hii atajipigapiga; KE atafanya aonekane asivyoonekana.Kila mmoja atataka aonekane mzuri, nje kimwonekano na ndani kitabia.
Mnapoishi pamoja, iwe kwenye ndoa au kukaa pamoja tu.
- Kwanza ile hali tu ya kuwepo pamoja tu 24hrs a day, 7days a week, all the time inabadilisha kila kitu, (hapa simaanishi kuwa hakuna anayeondoka alipo lakini katika masaa 24 ya siku angalau saa 6-8 mtakuwa pamoja). Hakuna tena kujiandaa uonekane vipi, kila mmoja anakuwa kama aivyo katika uhalisia wake, ambavyo mwenzake hakuwahi kumwona kabla ya kuishi pamoja. Zile caring, worrying, treating, listening, behaving...za wakati wa u-bf/-u-gf zinaanza kuyeyuka. Zile samahani zilizokuwa zinatolewa bure, mfano alipokuwa gf/bf unapiga simu imezimwa, hapatikani anazungumza dkk 30 saa moja badae unaambiwa nilikuwa mkutanoni, niliweka silence, iliisha chaji; ule uongo au kweli wa kuwa leo ninaenda kumwona shangazi, wiki ijayo nitakuwa mkutanoni... unaamini kila kitu bila ya maswali wala masharti; lakini mkiwa pamoja unaanza kuzidadisi, kuomba maelezo kamili, na pengine kutilia shaka.
Suluhisho
- Tuwe kama tulivyo wakati wa u-bf/u-gf. Usijaribu utake kuonekana vyengine na kujenga picha ambayo iko siku "itaungua" na kubaki "negative". Ikiwa atakukubali kama ulivyo leo na mkakubaliana iwe hivyo, atakayedai ziada anajitafutia presha za bure.
- Ndoa/kuishi pamoja ni ahadi na wajibu, timiza; ni haki, itoe; ni kuvumiliana, vumilia; ni kusamehe, samehe; ni kupenda na kuheshimiana, penda na heshimu ili nawe upendwe na kuheshimiwa.
- Ingawa wengine wanaweza kukataa, nahisi ule mvuto wa siku/miaka ya nyuma; zile nilizozitaja hapo juu: caring, worrying, treating, listening, behaving...zinaweza kufa kidogo kidogo kama hamkuzidumisha kwa maneno na vitendo; yale mapenzi moto moto yanaweza kufifia kidogo kidogo. Na sio kwa sababu hampendani wala hamtakani, lakini hamna wakati wa kutosha kama mlipokuwa mnaishi mbali mbali. Lakini kama alivyosema Lizzy, basi nobe ndani ya saa 24 unashindwa hata kumega saa moja ya kuwa na mpenzi wako ya kuishi mkajikumbusha na kutenda yale yaliyokuwa yanawapagaza mlipokuwa gf/bf?
Hapo kwenye nyekundu huoni kuwa unajichanganya?? Hapo kwenye bluu uko sahihi, hii ni topiki nyingine kabisa....inayohitaji uzi unaojitegemea. Mwali hebu anzisha uzi basi wa hii kitu.Naamini kua restrictions za gender ni biological and social zaidi, but at the individual the boundary is fuzzy... and the personality may very well be the same, no matter your gender. but this is another (sensitive) debate that we can have later, maybe in another thread.
Nimejichanganyaje mkuu? Hebu nieleze kwanza.Hapo kwenye nyekundu huoni kuwa unajichanganya?? Hapo kwenye bluu uko sahihi, hii ni topiki nyingine kabisa....inayohitaji uzi unaojitegemea. Mwali hebu anzisha uzi basi wa hii kitu.
Lets take this to a new thread, shall we?Nimejichanganyaje mkuu? Hebu nieleze kwanza.
Mi nimesema naamini kua ningekua mwanaume personality yangu (individual) ingekua hii hii coz hakuna tofauti kubwa at that level. tofauit ingekua ya kibayolojia na kijamii zaidi.
Au nilivo andika haija reflet hivo?
Alafu kwa nini wanaume wengi wanabadilika? wakitaka kula happy wanawaacha wake zao nyumbani wakati walipo kua boyfriend girlfriend walikua wanawapeleka kote? (sio wote)
Vile vile wanawake wanabadilika, wanalalamika kua wanaume hawana yale mapenzi walio kua nayo kabla ya kuoana. wanadai wanaume wanakua borring pia.
Kabla ya kuoana, wanawake huwa wanajipenda sana (hawajiachii). Asilimia kubwa wakishaolewa wanajiachia na kunenepeana hovyo mpaka inakuwa soo kuongozana!
Muongo huyo Anti! nilimkanya akakimbia haraka. he is just trying to position himself. lol
Anti jamani, humjui Mwali wako? hivi unaamini kabisa naweza kufanya hivo? Baada ya miezi 3 ya kufundwa?
Dah! kweli nikimpata huyo mtu lazima harusi mtasimamia nyinyi tu. Ona hapo in green vile mmoja ana echoe mwenzie...
Alafu in bold nimeelewa, I can be both alternatively, kufatana na mood, kufatana na mazingira... Asanteni sana Uncle na Anti.
Alafu hapo nilipo pigilia mstari, special thanks...
Chaboooooooooooooooo, on my way....najipaka dawa ya mbu nakuja hapo kuchungulia......am excited....lol 😛hoto:
Mi mzima,wivu tu umenikaba...wenzangu wakisifiwa mi kila siku natangaziwa kasoro mpya...you are lucky,take care of Kaizer!
Ngoja nikimpata mwingine nitakuja,....this one doesn't worth all that effort...lol
Kabla ya kuoana, wanawake huwa wanajipenda sana (hawajiachii). Asilimia kubwa wakishaolewa wanajiachia na kunenepeana hovyo mpaka inakuwa soo kuongozana!
Sure. Ila jiandae kwa kutupiwa mawe. It is not an easy topic... anza nitakufata.
I have seen how other attempps to discuss this topic turned out. Watu wanatukanana, wengine wanasema mtoa mada ni shoga/msagaji etc. I am not ready to take that, leo ni weekend.Do me a favour, hebu nisaidie kuupost huo uzi kwa sababu ninaamini uko vizuri zaidi katika kuelezea kuliko mimi. On the other side, I am good at retaliating lol.
Hii idea nimeipenda sana mwali........Lets go group. You are incharge.I have seen how other attempps to discuss this topic turned out. Watu wanatukanana, wengine wanasema mtoa mada ni shoga/msagaji etc. I am not ready to take that, leo ni weekend.
But kama kweli unataka tuyajadili (mimi na wewe) basi ngoja nianzishe group, mimi na wewe tujiunge, na kama kuna watu unao taka kujadili nao unawaomba wajiunge pia. waonaje mkuu?