Njowepo
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 26, 2008
- 9,710
- 2,240
1. Stop comparing yourself with other people.
Human beings can increase or decrease their sense of self-value by
contrasting themselves either positively or negatively with others.
But if you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many
"opponents" you can't defeat. There will always be some people who
have more than you and some who have less. So stop comparing!
What's the point? It's about how you feel about yourself.
2. Stop the critic inside of you.
Some people have a bad habit of putting themselves down. They say
negative things to themselves like, "I'm not good at this, I
shouldn't try" or "There you go again, stupid!" Don't do this to
yourself. Get in the new habit of catching yourself saying critical
things about yourself and learn to silence your inner critic. If
it's unavoidable, at least tone down the level of your criticism.
Try to replace a negative thought with a positive thought.
3. Forgive and forget.
Don't waste your time and energy thinking of past hurts. Your time
can be wisely spent for other productive things rather than
negative thoughts about the past. Remember, you forgive for
yourself, not for the other person. So forgive that person who has
wronged you -- you are doing this FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT -- not
theirs. Forgive them, and move on.
4. Associate with positive, supportive people.
Hang out with enthusiastic people. This way, you will get infected
by their positive attitude. You will view the world in its full
shining glory and move around oozing with energy. Stay away from
negative people. When you are surrounded by negative people who
constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is
lowered. Zig Ziglar once said "You can't fly with the eagles if you
continue to scratch with the turkeys." Cheesy, but true.
5. Get involved in work and activities you love.
It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in
work you hate! Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work
and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. And even
if you're not in a position to make immediate changes in your
career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to
constructive hobbies or activities that make you happy. What
healthy things are in your life that make you happy? Do more of
them!
6. Be true to yourself.
Live your own life -- not the life someone decided is best for you.
You will never gain your own respect and you will never feel good
about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. So
if you're still making decisions based on getting approval from
friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your
self-esteem is lowered.
7. Talk affirmatively to others and yourself.
Words carry power that can hurt other people or yourself.
Similarly, words can generate enough power to give warmth and
comfort. So be conscious of your choice of words. Choose
affirmative words when speaking with someone. Be positive with
other people. Be positive with yourself.
8. Quit blaming yourself for mistakes in the past.
There are many things in life that you can't control, so stop
blaming yourself for negative outcomes. Instead, learn to honor
your own efforts and give yourself proper credit for things that
you have done right, and done well. Just the fact that you are
spending time reading this is a step in the right direction. Stop
living your life in the rear-view mirror. MOVE FORWARD.
9. Make a long list of your personal breakthroughs and
accomplishments.
Think of times when you did something that you thought that never
could do, but you managed to pull it off successfully. Count even
the small breakthroughs and accomplishments. These breakthroughs
should be a source of pride! Make a long list of your own
breakthroughs and read this list often. While reviewing your list,
close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy
you experienced when you first attained each success. Make a list
right now.
10. Make a list of your positive qualities.
Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Hard-working? Be
generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive
qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most
people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life
isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits! Stop
beating yourself up.
11. Figure out the hidden strengths in your so-called weaknesses.
You can't develop high self-esteem if you constantly repeat
negative comments about your skills and abilities. Remember that
there is always a positive in every negative if you look hard
enough. For instance, you may think of yourself as stubborn, but
the flipside is that you're also persistent and dependable.
12. Rediscover and reaffirm your personal strengths.
Sometimes you have to take a new inventory of what you LIKE about
your looks, smile, body, sexiness, health, personality, and
character strengths. Don't sell yourself short. It isn't wrong or
egotistical to praise yourself. You are probably better than you
think you are.
13. Ignore yourself.
Sometimes the real problem isn't self-esteem at all but a tendency
toward over thinking, or thinking to much about yourself and your
circumstances. When you get this feeling, just stop, and direct
your focus to other things. Forget about yourself, and apply your
energy to completing a task that will get your further towards your
goals.
14. Accept all compliments with "Thank You."
Don't dismiss or ignore compliments. When you do this, you give
yourself the message that you don't deserve you do not deserve
compliments, or you are not worthy of praise. Of course you deserve
praise. Accept compliments from other people, and respond with a
simple "Thank You."
15. Start giving more.
Start to give more of yourself to those around you. When you do
things for someone else, you are making a positive contribution and
you begin to feel more valuable, which in turn lifts your spirits
and raises your own self-esteem. So next time you see a downcast or
downtrodden person, pick her up from the rut. Share with her the
warmth of your helping hand and watch the glow in her eyes.
16. Be your own cheerleader.
Tell yourself "Go! You can do it!" This may sound cheesy, but it
really goes a long way. Then, once you accomplish a task, learn how
to enjoy a few minutes of self-congratulations instead of jumping
right into the next task as if nothing happened. Imagine yourself
as your own cheerleader on the sidelines, cheering you toward the
goal, then celebrating when you reach it. Again, this isn't silly
-- it's smart and contagious.
17. Start small and do a task you can accomplish easily.
There's no faster way to build self-esteem than crossing items off
your "to-do" list. It always feels good to get something done. And
it doesn't necessarily have to be a monumental accomplishment. The
person who moves a mountain starts by moving small stones. Start
small, and build your momentum.
18. Examine your pattern of highs and lows.
Perhaps you're just in a "praise starvation" mode. Maybe it's been
too long since you got a compliment or got to do anything that
someone noticed. Or perhaps you started the downward spiral when
you said some bad things to someone. It's always good to remember
that self-esteem is a mental construct. So examine your patterns,
and remember that it's all in your mind. Force yourself back to the
high-road of positive thoughts.
19. Get some exercise.
Even ten minutes on the treadmill will help. Exercise can decrease
"stress hormones" like cortisol, and increase endorphins (your
body's "feel-good" chemicals) giving your mood a natural boost. If
you don't exercise, go for a walk while feeding your brain with
positive thoughts. Break a sweat. You'll feel better afterward.
20. Take action!
When you take action -- regardless of the result -- you feel better
about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and
anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy -- and you will
undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem. So do
something, and do something now. Take action!
Human beings can increase or decrease their sense of self-value by
contrasting themselves either positively or negatively with others.
But if you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many
"opponents" you can't defeat. There will always be some people who
have more than you and some who have less. So stop comparing!
What's the point? It's about how you feel about yourself.
2. Stop the critic inside of you.
Some people have a bad habit of putting themselves down. They say
negative things to themselves like, "I'm not good at this, I
shouldn't try" or "There you go again, stupid!" Don't do this to
yourself. Get in the new habit of catching yourself saying critical
things about yourself and learn to silence your inner critic. If
it's unavoidable, at least tone down the level of your criticism.
Try to replace a negative thought with a positive thought.
3. Forgive and forget.
Don't waste your time and energy thinking of past hurts. Your time
can be wisely spent for other productive things rather than
negative thoughts about the past. Remember, you forgive for
yourself, not for the other person. So forgive that person who has
wronged you -- you are doing this FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT -- not
theirs. Forgive them, and move on.
4. Associate with positive, supportive people.
Hang out with enthusiastic people. This way, you will get infected
by their positive attitude. You will view the world in its full
shining glory and move around oozing with energy. Stay away from
negative people. When you are surrounded by negative people who
constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is
lowered. Zig Ziglar once said "You can't fly with the eagles if you
continue to scratch with the turkeys." Cheesy, but true.
5. Get involved in work and activities you love.
It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in
work you hate! Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work
and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. And even
if you're not in a position to make immediate changes in your
career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to
constructive hobbies or activities that make you happy. What
healthy things are in your life that make you happy? Do more of
them!
6. Be true to yourself.
Live your own life -- not the life someone decided is best for you.
You will never gain your own respect and you will never feel good
about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. So
if you're still making decisions based on getting approval from
friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your
self-esteem is lowered.
7. Talk affirmatively to others and yourself.
Words carry power that can hurt other people or yourself.
Similarly, words can generate enough power to give warmth and
comfort. So be conscious of your choice of words. Choose
affirmative words when speaking with someone. Be positive with
other people. Be positive with yourself.
8. Quit blaming yourself for mistakes in the past.
There are many things in life that you can't control, so stop
blaming yourself for negative outcomes. Instead, learn to honor
your own efforts and give yourself proper credit for things that
you have done right, and done well. Just the fact that you are
spending time reading this is a step in the right direction. Stop
living your life in the rear-view mirror. MOVE FORWARD.
9. Make a long list of your personal breakthroughs and
accomplishments.
Think of times when you did something that you thought that never
could do, but you managed to pull it off successfully. Count even
the small breakthroughs and accomplishments. These breakthroughs
should be a source of pride! Make a long list of your own
breakthroughs and read this list often. While reviewing your list,
close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy
you experienced when you first attained each success. Make a list
right now.
10. Make a list of your positive qualities.
Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Hard-working? Be
generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive
qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most
people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life
isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits! Stop
beating yourself up.
11. Figure out the hidden strengths in your so-called weaknesses.
You can't develop high self-esteem if you constantly repeat
negative comments about your skills and abilities. Remember that
there is always a positive in every negative if you look hard
enough. For instance, you may think of yourself as stubborn, but
the flipside is that you're also persistent and dependable.
12. Rediscover and reaffirm your personal strengths.
Sometimes you have to take a new inventory of what you LIKE about
your looks, smile, body, sexiness, health, personality, and
character strengths. Don't sell yourself short. It isn't wrong or
egotistical to praise yourself. You are probably better than you
think you are.
13. Ignore yourself.
Sometimes the real problem isn't self-esteem at all but a tendency
toward over thinking, or thinking to much about yourself and your
circumstances. When you get this feeling, just stop, and direct
your focus to other things. Forget about yourself, and apply your
energy to completing a task that will get your further towards your
goals.
14. Accept all compliments with "Thank You."
Don't dismiss or ignore compliments. When you do this, you give
yourself the message that you don't deserve you do not deserve
compliments, or you are not worthy of praise. Of course you deserve
praise. Accept compliments from other people, and respond with a
simple "Thank You."
15. Start giving more.
Start to give more of yourself to those around you. When you do
things for someone else, you are making a positive contribution and
you begin to feel more valuable, which in turn lifts your spirits
and raises your own self-esteem. So next time you see a downcast or
downtrodden person, pick her up from the rut. Share with her the
warmth of your helping hand and watch the glow in her eyes.
16. Be your own cheerleader.
Tell yourself "Go! You can do it!" This may sound cheesy, but it
really goes a long way. Then, once you accomplish a task, learn how
to enjoy a few minutes of self-congratulations instead of jumping
right into the next task as if nothing happened. Imagine yourself
as your own cheerleader on the sidelines, cheering you toward the
goal, then celebrating when you reach it. Again, this isn't silly
-- it's smart and contagious.
17. Start small and do a task you can accomplish easily.
There's no faster way to build self-esteem than crossing items off
your "to-do" list. It always feels good to get something done. And
it doesn't necessarily have to be a monumental accomplishment. The
person who moves a mountain starts by moving small stones. Start
small, and build your momentum.
18. Examine your pattern of highs and lows.
Perhaps you're just in a "praise starvation" mode. Maybe it's been
too long since you got a compliment or got to do anything that
someone noticed. Or perhaps you started the downward spiral when
you said some bad things to someone. It's always good to remember
that self-esteem is a mental construct. So examine your patterns,
and remember that it's all in your mind. Force yourself back to the
high-road of positive thoughts.
19. Get some exercise.
Even ten minutes on the treadmill will help. Exercise can decrease
"stress hormones" like cortisol, and increase endorphins (your
body's "feel-good" chemicals) giving your mood a natural boost. If
you don't exercise, go for a walk while feeding your brain with
positive thoughts. Break a sweat. You'll feel better afterward.
20. Take action!
When you take action -- regardless of the result -- you feel better
about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and
anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy -- and you will
undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem. So do
something, and do something now. Take action!