Am I wrong if I process divorce?

Am I wrong if I process divorce?

Wewe ni wife material, wewe ni mwanamke kati ya wanawake wachache waliopo duniani, ila shida umekutana na zombiwisee.. Hana hadhi wala haki ya kufanyiwa uliyomfanyia.. Shika njia yako uende mamii, afya yako muhimu mnoo.. Kwake huna thamani kuna watu wanakuthamini na kukuhitaji kinoma noma(wazazi, ndugu jamaa na marafiki, mtoto wako)..

Wapo wanaume wachache wanaojielewa, ika kuwapa ni NTITI(Kujisemea wamakonde)

Sijui kwanini ni mtihani kumatch mwanamke saafi na mwanaume swaaafi.. [emoji848]


Mmoja akiwa malaika mwingine lazima awe makata kama sio subiani kabisa.

Wachache mnoo ndio wanabahatika.
 
Rosiela said:
Hello,
I have always been reading threads without commenting. Kwanini nimeanzisha hii thread?

I am a married lady..in my very early 30s( with over 11 years of marriage experience). I got married when I was in my early 20s. Graduated my masters in my very early 20s as well.

It has never been a peaceful marriage pamoja na jitihada nyingi nilizofanya mimi kuisimamia na kujinyenyekeza kwa kuweka elimu na appearance yangu pembeni. Kifupi tu ya ninayopitia;

1. Being heavily beaten mpaka kulazwa whenever he drinks( mind you, he is a regular drinker)
2. Hakuwahi kuja msiba wa baba yangu mzazi sababu kuu 'alikuwa na washkaji trip'
3. Sijui sh.yake japo anajenga..so i pay for house and family needs mpaka nilipojua ameandikisha hio nyumba jina la ndugu yake
4. Gari pia nilimpa hela akaninunulie yard hapa mjini karudi kaiweka jina lake. Sio kwamba hana hela..no he is financially stable.( sijui ananikomoa nini na sijawahi kutishia kuondoka wala nini-kwa wanaonijua nje wanaweza kuthibitisha hili)
5. Restrictions with my dress code. Anataka nishone vitenge mpaka miguuni. Ana wivu wa ajabu sana na mimi kupendeza au hata kusuka nywele hataki. Hataki nivae suruali,jeans and he found me wearing all those.He wants me rough NOW na anasema nataka kupendeza kwa ajili ya nani? Ananitumia mpaka threads sijui za wanawake 'wenye makalio makubwa hawana akili' nijitathmini na mimi(he picks everything from the internet). Hili halinisumbui sana because i know nina akili ya shule na maisha pia
6. Sex life is bad..very bad( nilishakamata mengi kwenye simu yake). And to be honest it is better this way..kwamba hatushiriki like normal married couples miezi minne sasa na wala hajali yani sawa tu kwake. Binafsi nitavumilia sababu afya yangu matters a lot
7. Sijawahi kumjibu chochote, ninaomba msamaha hata ninapokosewa, ninaandaa bedroom na scents nzuri, napika napeleka mtoto kwa dada yangu for sleep over ili tupate muda fulani ila ndio anarudi alfajiri na asubuhi ananiuliza nani kanifundisha mambo ya kihuni. Vikao vilishakaliwa mno..i know for a fact, he won't change.
8. I have shared my case kwa mtu mmoja tu,a man lately..ambae amekuwa so concerned na sijui tutaenda nae wapi as am beginning to fall in love na yeye(najua inabidi niwe muangalifu kwa wanaokuja kusikitika na mimi kumbe amenitamani tu kutokana na physical appearance and all that)

Sijaacha kuwa msafi..sijaacha kujipenda BUT i am dying deep down. NO LOVE NO SUPPORT hata ile kidogo na sijamuongelesha kwa mara ya kwanza toka anipige miezi 4 iliopita na kulazwa(sababu hapa ilikuwa sikuvaa nguo kama madira ambapo kazini siwezi kuvaa japo navaa kiheshima sana yet smart)na kisha kurudi nyumbani baada ya kusuluhishwa..hajui naishi vipi japo nina kazi yangu ni kama KAKA NA DADA.

Our wedding was a church wedding. NIMECHOKA. Sijui naanzia wapi kutoka but ninahitaji kutoka kwenye hiki kifungo

I believe atakuja kunifukuza kwenye nyumba alioiandika jina la ndugu yake. Maana hapa ni kama mpangaji na hela anayo mpaka ya kunywa ma hennessy kila weekend. I am a God fearing person deep down..sana! Sikuwahi kuwaza kwanini wengine wananunuaga viwanja pembeni..na nilikuwa mtu wa kwanza kupinga wanawake wa aina hii.

Ninasukumwa kuanza 'ku save kidogokidogo' na kupunguza kulisha familia ili nijipange na kibanda changu japo najiuliza mpaka nimefanikiwa kumaliza kujenga sio leo wala kesho i assume(kutokana na nachoki earn) na nitakuwa tortured kwa level ipi mpaka nimalize kujenga. Niko confused hasa

But I need advice..ninachanganyikiwa hata kazini performance inashuka.
Kindly advice
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Cha kukushauri ni usiwe mbinafsi ukae chini ufikirie ni sawa umeeleza mapungufu yake yote na sitaki kuamini kwamba toka mwanzo wa mahusiano yenu yalikua machungu kama kipindi unachopitia sasa hivi kama jibu hapana vipi wewe unauhakika jamaa yako hujamkosea au huenda afya yake ya akili haijakaa sawa kutokana na mihangaiko ya kidunia na changamoto anazokutana nazo au huenda kuna kitu alitarajia toka kwako lakini imekua ndivyo sivyo au huenda umebadilika hauko kama mwanzo na tumaini juu yako jamaa amelipoteza.Pili kaa chini fikiria watoto wako watahandle vipi suala la ww kuja kuwaletea baba mpya na je atawapenda kama baba yao au yeye jamaa atajari zaidi kuhusu watoto wake, ila pole huenda hujifunzi kuhusu tatizo la kijamii la watoto wanaolelewa na baba/mama ni mzazi ila mwengine sio mzazi wengi wao hupandikizwa chuki kuhusu upande mmoja na hujari zaidi mama au baba aliacha nini na sisi tukapate gawio kwenye mirathi aliyoacha mama/baba katika familia nyingine kuliko utu wa kupendana. Tatu na mwisho zidisha maombi mrudie Muumba wako yeye hakuna kitu anachoshindwa na hata ukirejea kiapo cha ndoa kuna maneno "mpaka kifo kitakapo watenganisha" ila wewe mbona umekua mwepesi wa kuvunja ili agano huyo mume wako unatakiwa uelewe ni wa muda tu na hata ukipata mume mpya kifo ndo kitawatenganisha hamtaishi milele baada ya hapo hakuna jipya ila zao lenu (watoto) mliloliacha huku duniani watapendana? au ndo itakua zao la chuki kwa sababu hawana maungano ya nyama na damu moja.Pia acha kuendeshwa na hisia zaidi kuliko hali halisi.
 
Saint Anne said:
Kiapo cha ndoa kimeandikwa" nitakuwa naye kwenye shida na raha, kwenye dhiki na mateso hadi kifo kitakapotenganisha".
Na alichokiunganisha Mungu , mwanadamu hawezi kukitenganisha.

Ndiyo maana huwa wanatusisitiza vijana kutokosea kuchagua mwenza,ni Bora ukosee kujenga nyumba,utaibomoa.


Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
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Mie naoa mwanamke na akinizingua namuacha vile vile nao mwengine! Huo ujinga wa kikatoliki kwamba eti hamuachani sijui heheh sio kwa mpare mimi
 
The Boss said:
Run. ..run run...
Divorce or no divorce just run and run..

Why miaka yote unevumilia?

Mlikutana wapi kwanza??

So sad...just run na asijue unaishi wapi..

Ofisin waambie wakimuona wajue mmeshaachana agiza walinzi wampe kipigo cha kutosha..
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It all started in my first year of marriage. Hakuwa na hela by then but things were much more peaceful kuliko muda ulivyozidi kwenda
 
Extrovert said:
Hao jamaa ni Narcissist mbaya mbovu, yani demu akionesha nia ya kuondoka hapo jamaa atajirudi na kujilizaliza vibaya mno kwamba anampenda sana wayaongee😅😅😅! Demu anapangwa anaendelea kuvumilia tu makofi!

Nilikuwa na ex wangu alikuwa anapitia haya haya aisee! Wao walikuwa hawajaoana jamaa akampanga kuwa amzalie ndio kama atatulia weee! Sahzi mambo mbaya zaidi demu anajuta mno!
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Unajua most times hujui thamani ya ulichonacho mpaka ukikipoteza.
Na ukionesha weakness kubwa kwa mwenza ni tatizo,they take advantage of your weakness.So you need to state your ground point.Mtu akikuona una msimamo na unajua unachotaka hawezi kufanya ujingaujinga.

Hata mfano incase if it works ikitokea wamechukua break jamaa akajirudi ni lazima waende marriage counselling na jamaa aende kwa psychologist its obvious anahitaji msaada.
Na kama anaendelea tu hapo ndo ukiondoka ndo ntolee hurudi nyuma tena unajua kama second chance umeshatoa na imeshindikana.Ugandane na mtu wakati kila mtu alizaliwa peke yake 😅😅
 
I am not sure na cha kushauri,

Maana uko educated lakini elimu haikusaidii,

Tunaposema tuwawezeshe wanawake ili wajiweze, tunamaanisha kuepukana na vtu kama hivi. Unajiweza why going through the shit anymore. au una Stockholm syndrome?!
 
Gorgeousmimi said:
Unajua most times hujui thamani ya ulichonacho mpaka ukikipoteza.
Na ukionesha weakness kubwa kwa mwenza ni tatizo,they take advantage of your weakness.So you need to state your ground point.Mtu akikuona una msimamo na unajua unachotaka hawezi kufanya ujingaujinga.

Hata mfano incase if it works ikitokea wamechukua break jamaa akajirudi ni lazima waende marriage counselling na jamaa aende kwa psychologist its obvious anahitaji msaada.
Na kama anaendelea tu hapo ndo ukiondoka ndo ntolee hurudi nyuma tena unajua kama second chance umeshatoa na imeshindikana.Ugandane na mtu wakati kila mtu alizaliwa peke yake 😅😅
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Hahahahahah dah wengi hawajui what they want and deserve in marriage! Mie pamoja na kupendana n shit nataka niwe na peace of mind daily sitaki kero so ukiwa source ya kero tutazinguana mapema sana! Kelele kelele zile hapana kama huna breki za mdomoni hatutawezana!

Sasa unakuja sanuka mwamba kasepa au ka call it quits kumbe tatizo ulikuwa ww unabaki unalia lia tu!
 
Extrovert said:
Hahahahah vipi huenda ndoa yako ina zali la mtende 😅!

Wengine walioangukia machungwa na maembe mabichi wanaugulia tu 😀 what i believe ukiolewa kisha both of you mkawa positive na maisha bila mmoja kuwa na overthinking maana ndio huleta stress basi ndoa inakuwa raha tu!

Muhimu ni peace of mind kabla ya yote.
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peace of mind na kufanya mambo kwa kushirikiana,,,kutojilinganisha na watu wengine badala yake tafuteni mbinu how are gonna move on tuweze kufika malengo fulani ambayo offcourse mnakuwa mmeshaweka kwenye malengo yenu.

kufanya jambo lolote bila malengo ni sawa kusubiri ndege feri.

if you don't plan you plan to fail.
 
Extrovert said:
Mie binafs nataka mwanamke wa hivyo ili tu niwe na peace of mind! Huwa hawanaga makelele😅
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Unataka ambaye unamdunda na bado kakuganda? Umpe manyanyaso uone raha yeye bado yupo tu. Aisee... may be sijakuelewa.
Kwanini msipeane raha muishi kwa amani?
 
Brasso said:
Cha kukushauri ni usiwe mbinafsi ukae chini ufikirie ni sawa umeeleza mapungufu yake yote na sitaki kuamini kwamba toka mwanzo wa mahusiano yenu yalikua machungu kama kipindi unachopitia sasa hivi kama jibu hapana vipi wewe unauhakika jamaa yako hujamkosea au huenda afya yake ya akili haijakaa sawa kutokana na mihangaiko ya kidunia na changamoto anazokutana nazo au huenda kuna kitu alitarajia toka kwako lakini imekua ndivyo sivyo au huenda umebadilika hauko kama mwanzo na tumaini juu yako jamaa amelipoteza.Pili kaa chini fikiria watoto wako watahandle vipi suala la ww kuja kuwaletea baba mpya na je atawapenda kama baba yao au yeye jamaa atajari zaidi kuhusu watoto wake, ila pole huenda hujifunzi kuhusu tatizo la kijamii la watoto wanaolelewa na baba/mama ni mzazi ila mwengine sio mzazi wengi wao hupandikizwa chuki kuhusu upande mmoja na hujari zaidi mama au baba aliacha nini na sisi tukapate gawio kwenye mirathi aliyoacha mama/baba katika familia nyingine kuliko utu wa kupendana. Tatu na mwisho zidisha maombi mrudie Muumba wako yeye hakuna kitu anachoshindwa na hata ukirejea kiapo cha ndoa kuna maneno "mpaka kifo kitakapo watenganisha" ila wewe mbona umekua mwepesi wa kuvunja ili agano huyo mume wako unatakiwa uelewe ni wa muda tu na hata ukipata mume mpya kifo ndo kitawatenganisha hamtaishi milele baada ya hapo hakuna jipya ila zao lenu (watoto) mliloliacha huku duniani watapendana? au ndo itakua zao la chuki kwa sababu hawana maungano ya nyama na damu moja.Pia acha kuendeshwa na hisia zaidi kuliko hali halisi.i
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Compact said:
What is your life worth for?

Huna furaha, huna amani. Ni vipigo,kilio, manung'uniko, na bado umenatana.

Huyo mumeo anakutandika na kukufanyia hivyo vibwengo vyote kwa sababu kakuona wewe ni zezeta (sijutii kukuita).

Unaendeshwa ka gari bovu. Bora hata gari bovu linakosa breki linajipitisha asipotaka dereva.

Huwezi kuvumilia yote hayo kwa jina la kumuogopa Mwenyenzi Mungu. Huo ni uzwazwa.

Sawa, unavaa kiheshima kumtunzia. Mbona sasa hakutombi?? Miezi minne na hajali?

Achana naye. Amua kusonga mbele. Hata Mungu ameshaona. Jitambue.

Uvumilivu uwe kwa kiwango. Hata ucha Mungu uwe kwa kutumia akili.

Mhubiri 7:16
Usiwe na haki kupita kiasi; Wala usijiongezee hekima mno; Kwani kujiangamiza mwenyewe.
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Thank you for the harsh criticism..but i believe i deserve it. Blessing
 
Rosiela said:
Hello,
I have always been reading threads without commenting. Kwanini nimeanzisha hii thread?

I am a married lady..in my very early 30s( with over 11 years of marriage experience). I got married when I was in my early 20s. Graduated my masters in my very early 20s as well...
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Dah pole
 
Demi said:
Unataka ambaye unamdunda na bado kakuganda? Umpe manyanyaso uone raha yeye bado yupo tu. Aisee... may be sijakuelewa.
Kwanini msipeane raha muishi kwa amani?
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No lengo sio kumdunda lengo ni kudekezana tu maana mwanamke ambaye yuko submissive namna hio hawezi kukufanyia madhila na kero! Na mipango itaenda maana hamna mabishano ya kiduanzi! Yani mwanamke wa hivyo simpigi kwa namna yeyote maana sababu hasa za kumpiga zinakuwaga hamna!
 
Ncha Kali said:
Hatuwezi kuhukumu kwa kusikiliza upande mmoja tu, hatuwezi kamwe…. hapa unatafuta huruma tu na kumchafua mumeo.
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Aisee..alafu nifaidike na nini? Well..its a free world naamini una haki ya kuamini unavyotaka kuamini. But that is my living scenario
 
Kamanda Moshi said:
Kwa hayo uliyoandika please find divorce na uangalie maisha yako. Some men Ni watoto wa mama na hawatakaa wakue all life long.
back to Mr comforter.... kuwa naye makini maana unapokuwa desperate ni rahisi kufall kwa yeyote mwenye nafuu kuliko ulipo now.
Good luck
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Thank you..i thought so too but hearing it from another person makes it even better. Blessing
 
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