Am I wrong if I process divorce?

Am I wrong if I process divorce?

Saint Anne said:
Hujui niliyopitia,hujui familia niliyoishi ilikuwa na ndoa ya namna gani,hujui ninayopitia.
Hayo maombi Endelea nayo ila ni vema ukakaa kimya,usinizungumzie kwa vitu usivyovijua kwangu.

Mtu anaweza kutoa ushauri humu na unaanza kuassume tu kwamba haijui shida ama hawajahi pitia shida.

Jikite tu kwenye mada kuliko kunizungumzia mimi sana.

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Wapi nimekutaja dada? Nimezungumzia watu in general Kama umejiingiza kwenye Hilo kundi la watu ni juu yako. Unataka nifanyeje? Nisijibu mtu akiniquote?
Sijui uliyoyapitia hata hii mada tunamjadili mtu tusiyemjua...nilishaacha kukujibu wewe najibu wengine Kama wanavyoniquote. Relax..baki na mtazamo wako niache niendelee na mtazamo wangu.
Kama vipi omba uzi ufungwe, mi nitaendelea kujadili chochote ninachojisikia.
 
Demi said:
Wapi nimekutaja dada? Nimezungumzia watu in general Kama umejiingiza kwenye Hilo kundi la watu ni juu yako. Unataka nifanyeje? Nisijibu mtu akiniquote?
Sijui uliyoyapitia hata hii mada tunamjadili mtu tusiyemjua...nilishaacha kukujibu wewe najibu wengine Kama wanavyoniquote. Relax..baki na mtazamo wako niache niendelee na mtazamo wangu.
Kama vipi omba uzi ufungwe, mi nitaendelea kujadili chochote ninachojisikia.
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Uzi ufungwe kwa lipi??
Pole,naona ushauri wangu ulikukera sana..
Hata hivyo dua hiyo hainitishi.

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Rosiela said:
Hello,
I have always been reading threads without commenting. Kwanini nimeanzisha hii thread?

I am a married lady..in my very early 30s( with over 11 years of marriage experience). I got married when I was in my early 20s. Graduated my masters in my very early 20s as well.

It has never been a peaceful marriage pamoja na jitihada nyingi nilizofanya mimi kuisimamia na kujinyenyekeza kwa kuweka elimu na appearance yangu pembeni. Kifupi tu ya ninayopitia;

1. Being heavily beaten mpaka kulazwa whenever he drinks( mind you, he is a regular drinker)

2. Hakuwahi kuja msiba wa baba yangu mzazi sababu kuu 'alikuwa na washkaji trip'

3. Sijui sh.yake japo anajenga..so i pay for house and family needs mpaka nilipojua ameandikisha hio nyumba jina la ndugu yake

4. Gari pia nilimpa hela akaninunulie yard hapa mjini karudi kaiweka jina lake. Sio kwamba hana hela..no he is financially stable.( sijui ananikomoa nini na sijawahi kutishia kuondoka wala nini-kwa wanaonijua nje wanaweza kuthibitisha hili)

5. Restrictions with my dress code. Anataka nishone vitenge mpaka miguuni. Ana wivu wa ajabu sana na mimi kupendeza au hata kusuka nywele hataki. Hataki nivae suruali,jeans and he found me wearing all those.He wants me rough NOW na anasema nataka kupendeza kwa ajili ya nani? Ananitumia mpaka threads sijui za wanawake 'wenye makalio makubwa hawana akili' nijitathmini na mimi(he picks everything from the internet). Hili halinisumbui sana because i know nina akili ya shule na maisha pia

6. Sex life is bad..very bad( nilishakamata mengi kwenye simu yake). And to be honest it is better this way..kwamba hatushiriki like normal married couples miezi minne sasa na wala hajali yani sawa tu kwake. Binafsi nitavumilia sababu afya yangu matters a lot

7. Sijawahi kumjibu chochote, ninaomba msamaha hata ninapokosewa, ninaandaa bedroom na scents nzuri, napika napeleka mtoto kwa dada yangu for sleep over ili tupate muda fulani ila ndio anarudi alfajiri na asubuhi ananiuliza nani kanifundisha mambo ya kihuni. Vikao vilishakaliwa mno..i know for a fact, he won't change.

8. I have shared my case kwa mtu mmoja tu,a man lately..ambae amekuwa so concerned na sijui tutaenda nae wapi as am beginning to fall in love na yeye(najua inabidi niwe muangalifu kwa wanaokuja kusikitika na mimi kumbe amenitamani tu kutokana na physical appearance and all that)

Sijaacha kuwa msafi..sijaacha kujipenda BUT i am dying deep down. NO LOVE NO SUPPORT hata ile kidogo na sijamuongelesha kwa mara ya kwanza toka anipige miezi 4 iliopita na kulazwa(sababu hapa ilikuwa sikuvaa nguo kama madira ambapo kazini siwezi kuvaa japo navaa kiheshima sana yet smart)na kisha kurudi nyumbani baada ya kusuluhishwa..hajui naishi vipi japo nina kazi yangu ni kama KAKA NA DADA.

Our wedding was a church wedding. NIMECHOKA. Sijui naanzia wapi kutoka but ninahitaji kutoka kwenye hiki kifungo

I believe atakuja kunifukuza kwenye nyumba alioiandika jina la ndugu yake. Maana hapa ni kama mpangaji na hela anayo mpaka ya kunywa ma hennessy kila weekend. I am a God fearing person deep down..sana! Sikuwahi kuwaza kwanini wengine wananunuaga viwanja pembeni..na nilikuwa mtu wa kwanza kupinga wanawake wa aina hii.

Ninasukumwa kuanza 'ku save kidogokidogo' na kupunguza kulisha familia ili nijipange na kibanda changu japo najiuliza mpaka nimefanikiwa kumaliza kujenga sio leo wala kesho i assume(kutokana na nachoki earn) na nitakuwa tortured kwa level ipi mpaka nimalize kujenga. Niko confused hasa

But I need advice..ninachanganyikiwa hata kazini performance inashuka.
Kindly advice
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Nakuja pm.nikiandika hapa watasema miss hujaolewa
 
Saint Anne said:
Uzi ufungwe kwa lipi??
Pole,naona ushauri wangu ulikukera sana..
Hata hivyo dua hiyo hainitishi.

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Ndio nilikereka na majibu yangu yalikukera zaidi. Kama hutishiki unahaha nini? Niache niendelee kujadili nachotaka na wewe endelea kivyako, sitajadili maoni yako. Mbona umepanic sasa, hebu niache tuendelee na mengine
 
Demi said:
Ndio nilikereka na majibu yangu yalikukera zaidi. Kama hutishiki unahaha nini? Niache niendelee kujadili nachotaka na wewe endelea kivyako, sitajadili maoni yako. Mbona umepanic sasa, hebu niache tuendelee na mengine
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Ni kwa sababu ulinihusisha kwenye comment yako.
Nilishaacha lakini naona umening'ang'ania mno kwenye comments zako.

Itakuwa vema ukaendelea na mengine pasi na kunihusisha Mimi.

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sindumwe said:
Ndio nilichoamua sasa maana nitakufa kwa kihoro.
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Acha kujitesa my dear life is too short 8 years kavukavu loh,ukishakuwa na vetenary wako hata huyo mpuuzi utamu ignore wanawake huwa tunateseka badala tutafte pakutoa hamu tunasikitika huku wanaume wanatoa hamu zao huko nje.
 
Demi said:
Am 41 and my libido is getting higher everyday. Naamini nikifika 50 bado nitakuwa na hamu zangu. Zinaweza kupungua lkn sio kwa kiasi cha kuondoka kabisa.
Ina maana hujaguswa tangu una miaka 42 (umri almost na wangu) ..ulikuwa bado mbichi kabisa.
Siwezi jamani hata shetani atanishangaa
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@Demi, nahisi huyo kapitia changamoto ya kutokujua ladha wala utamu wa kusex tangu usichana wake hadi sasa kiasi cha kuathiriwa kisaikolojia na haoni umuhimu wa kutiana.

Wapo baadhi ya watu wanapitia changamoto ya aina hii aidha kwa kujua au kutokujua. Juzi kati tumekaa maeneo ya Mbauda pale stories zikiendelea iliibuka mada ya mambo ya kuchapana miti.

Kwakuwa tulikuwa mchanganyiko (me & ke) wanawake wawili walionesha dhahiri kbs kushangazwa na mwenzao mmoja aliehadithia namna alivokumbana na kitombo heavy kiasi cha kukojoa yale maji maarufu sana kwa watu wa Kagera.

Mtu mzima miaka 48 anakuambia tangu aanze kut..ombwa hajawahi kukojoa, anasema hivi nyie wanawake wenzangu huwa mkit..ombwa mnakojoaje mbona mimi sielewi inatokeaje tokeaje? Au nina kasoro gani?

Mtu wa namna hii ni ngumu sana kulifurahia na kulithamini tendo la kuchapana miti. Atakuwa anapata hamu / nyegge lakini haoni umuhimu wake. Ni kama mgonjwa wa malaria kali ana njaa lakini chakula hakipandi kwahiyo haoni umuhimu wa kula hakina ladha.

Sasa kwenye maelezo yao katika kila mmoja kudadisi unagundua Kuna sababu nyingi sana zinazopelekea hali hiyo, kubwa sana ikiwa ni inategemea na ubunifu wa wawili hao tangu walipokutana. Mtu anakuambia hawezi kuhimili kut..ombwa taa ikiwa inawaka eti anaona aibu (kwa mumewe)!!!!!!! Hawezi kunyoana mavuzz! na mume wake wa ndoa!! Ukigusia suala la kunyonyana ndio kiruuuuu anakuambia anataka kutapika!, na anamuona huyu anayeyafanya hayo yote ni malaya aliyekubuhu au mtenda dhambi au vinginevyo.

Kuna wakati fulani unakumbana na mtu mzima wa umri kama huo 51 unamt..omba halafu anakuambia natamani ningekutana na wewe tangu ujana kwani sijawahi kut..ombwa nikapata raha kama hivi! na ukimtazama kwa makini anakuwa anamaanisha kile anachokizungumza.

Mahusiano yanahitaji kujifunza na kuvumiliana kwa mambo mengi sana ila kupigana hadi kulazwa mngh! Hapana kwakweli
 
Rosiela said:
Hello,
I have always been reading threads without commenting. Kwanini nimeanzisha hii thread?

I am a married lady..in my very early 30s( with over 11 years of marriage experience). I got married when I was in my early 20s. Graduated my masters in my very early 20s as well.

It has never been a peaceful marriage pamoja na jitihada nyingi nilizofanya mimi kuisimamia na kujinyenyekeza kwa kuweka elimu na appearance yangu pembeni. Kifupi tu ya ninayopitia;

1. Being heavily beaten mpaka kulazwa whenever he drinks( mind you, he is a regular drinker)

2. Hakuwahi kuja msiba wa baba yangu mzazi sababu kuu 'alikuwa na washkaji trip'

3. Sijui sh.yake japo anajenga..so i pay for house and family needs mpaka nilipojua ameandikisha hio nyumba jina la ndugu yake

4. Gari pia nilimpa hela akaninunulie yard hapa mjini karudi kaiweka jina lake. Sio kwamba hana hela..no he is financially stable.( sijui ananikomoa nini na sijawahi kutishia kuondoka wala nini-kwa wanaonijua nje wanaweza kuthibitisha hili)

5. Restrictions with my dress code. Anataka nishone vitenge mpaka miguuni. Ana wivu wa ajabu sana na mimi kupendeza au hata kusuka nywele hataki. Hataki nivae suruali,jeans and he found me wearing all those.He wants me rough NOW na anasema nataka kupendeza kwa ajili ya nani? Ananitumia mpaka threads sijui za wanawake 'wenye makalio makubwa hawana akili' nijitathmini na mimi(he picks everything from the internet). Hili halinisumbui sana because i know nina akili ya shule na maisha pia

6. Sex life is bad..very bad( nilishakamata mengi kwenye simu yake). And to be honest it is better this way..kwamba hatushiriki like normal married couples miezi minne sasa na wala hajali yani sawa tu kwake. Binafsi nitavumilia sababu afya yangu matters a lot

7. Sijawahi kumjibu chochote, ninaomba msamaha hata ninapokosewa, ninaandaa bedroom na scents nzuri, napika napeleka mtoto kwa dada yangu for sleep over ili tupate muda fulani ila ndio anarudi alfajiri na asubuhi ananiuliza nani kanifundisha mambo ya kihuni. Vikao vilishakaliwa mno..i know for a fact, he won't change.

8. I have shared my case kwa mtu mmoja tu,a man lately..ambae amekuwa so concerned na sijui tutaenda nae wapi as am beginning to fall in love na yeye(najua inabidi niwe muangalifu kwa wanaokuja kusikitika na mimi kumbe amenitamani tu kutokana na physical appearance and all that)

Sijaacha kuwa msafi..sijaacha kujipenda BUT i am dying deep down. NO LOVE NO SUPPORT hata ile kidogo na sijamuongelesha kwa mara ya kwanza toka anipige miezi 4 iliopita na kulazwa(sababu hapa ilikuwa sikuvaa nguo kama madira ambapo kazini siwezi kuvaa japo navaa kiheshima sana yet smart)na kisha kurudi nyumbani baada ya kusuluhishwa..hajui naishi vipi japo nina kazi yangu ni kama KAKA NA DADA.

Our wedding was a church wedding. NIMECHOKA. Sijui naanzia wapi kutoka but ninahitaji kutoka kwenye hiki kifungo

I believe atakuja kunifukuza kwenye nyumba alioiandika jina la ndugu yake. Maana hapa ni kama mpangaji na hela anayo mpaka ya kunywa ma hennessy kila weekend. I am a God fearing person deep down..sana! Sikuwahi kuwaza kwanini wengine wananunuaga viwanja pembeni..na nilikuwa mtu wa kwanza kupinga wanawake wa aina hii.

Ninasukumwa kuanza 'ku save kidogokidogo' na kupunguza kulisha familia ili nijipange na kibanda changu japo najiuliza mpaka nimefanikiwa kumaliza kujenga sio leo wala kesho i assume(kutokana na nachoki earn) na nitakuwa tortured kwa level ipi mpaka nimalize kujenga. Niko confused hasa

But I need advice..ninachanganyikiwa hata kazini performance inashuka.
Kindly advice
Click to expand...
You are living with a timing bomb, kuna wanaume wengine wana matatizo ya kijinga ambayo hata ufanyeje huwezi mbadilisha. Unajitesa bure kukaa naye because this is beyond stupidity as there's no love there. Umevumilia vya kutosha, you need to look at the big picture here which is You and your happiness. Mwanamme hakufurahishi as a husband or partner, why stay with him? Sepa haraka sana kabla hajakuua kutokana na stress zake au kukuambukiza maradhi.
 
Njoo DM tutayajenga vizuri............yeye alimwambia Nani akuoe mrembo...😂😂si angetafuta wabaya wenzanke
 
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