Ambitious Women!!

[malisak]

..hivi wanaume wanavyokunywa pombe mpaka usiku wa manane, 7 days a week, hawaathiri malezi ya familia zao?

..je, jukumu la kutunza watoto ni la mwanamke peke yake?

inategemea kwani baadhi hunywa kwa raha na si karaha ila wapo wenye kusudi mpaka kutelekeza familia inaudhi sana na mara nyingi hawaendelei kwa kupenda sifa za kuweka heshima bar badala ya majumbani kwao.

 

[malisak]

well behaved women never make history.........

kerebisha kauli yako kama si kurekebisha na akina bibi titi wameacha nini?.

 

[Mkeshahoi]

sijui kama nitakua nakosea ila mimi nadhani ni akili finyu za mtu binafsi sidhani kama kupata mafanikio kuliko mwenzi wako ndio iwe chanzo cha kumnyanyasa ilhali uliapa kumvumilia katika shida na raha.huo unakua ni unafki wa kijinga aidha kwa kuiga au kupata ushauri mbovu mimi nina uwezo kuliko mume wangu na wala simdharau sote ni sawa tena nafanya kazi kwa bidii ili nimsaidie kwa nguvu zote asijihisi mpweke tena nimewasha moyo wa mapenzi kwa petrol kwenye chanzo cha gesi ni raha tu.

ni kweli,Ufinyu wa akili... ni kirusi ambacho kinatuathiri.Hongera kwa mahusianu mazuri ulonayo, ila naamini,umejikatalia mambo kadhaa (ambayo ungeyafanya kama ungekuwa mwenyewe) ili mradi uwe na huyo barafu wako... wakubali mwanume ni kiongozi na mwanamke ni mhimili wa familia..?

 

[Gaijin]

Tukubali ukweli kuwa kuwa too busy kunakunyima nafasi ya kuwa na 'mtoto wako uwe mwanamke au mwanamme

since wanaume ndio kichwa cha familia nakubaliana na dhana ya wanaumeme kubeba jukumu la kutafuta matumizi ya familia na mama kuwa mlezi zaidi

kwa nafsi yangu sioni mantiki ya mwanamke kuhangaika sana kutaka kuendesha familia. Kwangu naamini kuwa ni jukumu la mwanamme nami namsaidia tu na napenda kuwa in a position where I work for pleasure na sio as an obligation..... Ningepenga kuacha kwenda kazini nikijiskia kufanya hivyo ili kulea watoto au kupunguza masaa ya kazi.

Siamini Kama mwanamke ana wajibu sawa na mwanamme kwa malezi na utafutaji

 

[Kituko]

Wachangiaji wengi wanajaribu kupinga au kutokubaliana na mtoa hoja (mkesha hoi), hakuna kitu kinachoboa kama mtu kuomba statistics kwa vitu ambavyo viko obvious na vinaonekana mitaani kote, ni ukweli usiopingika japo baba ni kichwa cha nyumba, lakini mama ndio anayeishepu familia kuanzia baba na watoto, lakini mara nyingi baba anapokuwa bize sana au anapopotoka wkinamama wengi (wa enzi hizo) walikuwa na uwezo wa kuilinda familia na kulea watoto kwenye mistari minyoofu, lakini sasa tatizo linakuja pale mama anapokuwa bize kupita kiasi na kuachia watoto house girls,

ukweli unabakia palepale hao wakina mama waokuwa bize sana na mambo ya kimaendeleo waishia kuwa single na mwisho wanaishia kwenye maisha ya upweke na kukata tamaa, haya yapo na tunayaona mitaani kwetu

 

[Mama Brian]

Mkeshahoi!

Vipi tena? Akina Mama hawajaamka sasa hivi!

Well:Well:Well

Utafiti wako upo ki-ujumla zaidi - Binafsi nachelea kuandika kuwa wanawake waliofanikiwa kimaisha: Wamefanikiwa kuwa na familia BORA as well.

Pia wanawake wenye kiu ya Elimu, equally they have been blessed with lovely families.

In general, utafiti wako umetumia sample ndogo sana!

Asante sana Baba Enock!

 

[Noname]

So you are telling us we should not be ambitious or we shouldn't really work...?

I think women are perfectly capable at balancing both.. Theres no reason why she can't work and still make her family happy, It's in her drive to do so....

 

[BAK]

A baby first then find a man Saturday, 24 July 2010 13:35

Many women still want to find love, settle down and then get children. But a number of modern women today, want to pursue a career, look for a baby before thinking marriage

By Christine Chacha
THE CITIZEN

There is an emerging trend among modern women that has left men worried. While it was easier to find women who wanted to settle down after school, today's women are postponing marriage to pursue other important plans.

In fact, they follow a trend that is observed all over; which is, graduate, get a job, climb the career ladder, have a baby then possibly consider getting married, if love knocks at the door.
I witnessed this trend at a wedding recently. The wedding was everything it should have been. The bride looked elegant in her gown and the groom was impressive.

But they were not your typical young couple; the bride was a 40-year-old surgeon with an 11-year-old daughter who played the role of a flower girl. Later, I learnt that she was not even the groom's daughter.
So what took her that long?

"I had other things to do," was all I could get from the surgeon who added that, marriage at an early age would have ruined her plans.

It is reminiscent of the recent movie Back-up plan. Where the main character Zoe, (Jennifer Lopez), after achieving success at work and aware of the ticking on her biological clock, embarks on baby finding mission, and gets up inseminated, only to meet the man of her dreams.

Men not happy
It's a drift that is tickling men like Patrick Mwaki, the wrong way.
"I don't know what is going on with today's women," says the finance manager in Dar es Salaam. According to him, it seems like all educated women are shelving marriage to pursue other things.
The 30-year-old is still single after he called it quits with his girlfriend of four-years.
He could not get her to the altar in his time.
"I felt it was time for us to settle down. Every time I raised the topic, she would say she still had ‘things.' I did not understand why she cannot pursue her plans while in marriage," he asks.
Patrick believes it is for this reason that modern women are failing to get the right men to marry them, because by the time they are ready (in their 30's), all ‘good' men are already taken.

The accountant vows to now only date a woman with marriage plans in her mind.
But some women concede that this may not have been their original plan, but one that is arrived at after a series of heartbreaks.

That's why Happiness Lukindo wants to make friends than concentrate on looking for the one.
The thought of one day walking down the aisle used to be the desire of the 36-year-old scientist cum researcher, but now, it's a far away thought that may or may not happen.

"I used to dream of my wedding and I thought it would happen when I was 25. Now, I want different things and settling down is definitely not one of them," she says.

According to her, life has changed and so are people's responses towards it.
Successfully competing in this hard economic time is a top-notch agenda that is why she is back to school doing her PhD.

As we walk towards her car, I'm not surprised. It's an intimidating fuel guzzler that looks like it can transport her whole house.
Although she is a petite woman, she is aggressive and commands respect even on the road.

She speaks of her job and career with so much passion. Being ahead in her career means the world to her.

"Right now, a degree is not enough to secure a good job. One has to keep up with the market. Once I'm done with my PhD, then maybe, I can relax and find a man to settle down with," she says.

She says that from what she has seen, marriage does not allow personal development, and tends to tie women down with responsibilities and family obligations. That is why there are so many married women with unfulfilled dreams.

"One should achieve whatever she wants before settling down to avoid regretting later," she says.

Asked about her biological clock, Happiness smiles and says, "I'm quite aware that time is running out."

"I plan to get a baby before I hit 40. So, I have nothing to worry about," she says.

Not out of choice
Nehal Gupta, a psychologist and counselor, sees nothing wrong with this trend.
"One has to be ready to settle down without excess baggage like unfulfilled dreams. Getting married when you are ready and in your own terms will lead to a happier life," she says.

She adds that the modern woman has realised that marriage is not a priority like it was. They pursue careers just like men so that they too, can be in control of their own lives.

She adds that the shift of priorities could also be a result of men's cheating.
For some women, though it may not be out of choice. Take 37-year-old Annamaria Daniel for example. She is a single mother of twins with no marriage plans, after her boyfriend dumped her back in college after she got pregnant.
She says that was her wake up call. She realised he was not mature enough to be a father.
"By then I was ready for marriage but he cheated on me, got me pregnant and dumped me. So I can't trust another man. I can take care of my children. I will get a man someday just not now," she says.
She learnt to change focus and soon got ahead career wise. Her sons are her joy and pride. The Dar es Salaam based advocate who heads her own law firm says she wants to make sure her sons have the best in life.

"My work keeps me busy and I just have no time right now for a man despite the fact that I desire to have one," she says.

She says that she has seen some of her friends struggling with cheating husbands, children and she does not want to go through the same when she can avoid it.

"Of course, I can not be alone forever. I will get married someday but I need to be sure about the man I settle down with," she says.

Jaykesh Rathod, psychologist, believes that women's changing in priorities has come about because no one has time for responsibilities and commitments that come with marriage.

"When people are dating, there are no commitments. But things change after getting married because of responsibilities," he says, adding that sometimes, commitments can be a hindrance especially to women who want to pursue careers.

Another reason Jaykesh sees is the hard economy. In the old days, a man was capable of providing for his family, but today, he can hardly support himself. Women are now stepping up to be providers themselves.

There are consequences
You may want to know if this change of wind has any disadvantages.
"The child is the consequence of this change as most women have children before they get married. The child has questions as to who their father is, and gets more confused when she or he sees two fathers," he says. Research shows a child is better adjusted in a mother-father family than when brought up by a single parent.

Nehal also adds that says that another downsides is women's inability to find partners by the time they are ready to settle down.
"Some men are intimidated by big achievers while others only want to marry younger girls," she says.

But, she also adds that, it could be a blessing in disguise as one of the reasons for increased divorces is that people marry for the wrong reasons. So, if partners marry for companionship and not for a baby or to fulfill a societal obligation, then may be, marriages would hold.

 

[Mkeshahoi]

Thanks chief... I think the logic behind is to get a soulmate that will adjust well in ur life... Don't forget that it takes a whole lifetime to love each other.. and making sacrifice(of any sort) for the sake of your loved one is one the best ingredients!!

 

[FirstLady1]

Swala hapa ni vip mwanamke ana- manage family na kazi kwa ujumla sio ubusy wala kufika nyumbani saa nne.
wa mama mwenye kujua nini maana ya family akitoka kwenye mishughuliko yake na baada ya kuoga na kupumzika inampasa ajue watoto wameenda shule walikuwa na tatizo shuleni ,nyumbani kuna tatizo gani..
Ni mambo gani hayajaenda sawa hapo nyumbani na shuleni kwa watoto ,mzee ana tatizo gani baada ya hapo ile chakula ya wakubwa kwani kila siku inaliwa ? inategemea kama mama amechoka akisema vizuri na baba leo nimechoka Dii utakula kidogo na si kwa fujo kuna tatizo ...na pia mama akiwa huko job kwenye kutafuta riziki inabidi abakishe nguvu kidogo kwa ajili ya family? ?Ni ugumu tu wa maisha unafanya kina mama tuhangaike
Pia kuna baadhi ya wanaume wamekuwa hawajali family zao kutoa matumizi ya ndani kwao ni msamiati ndio sababu kinamama tumepanuka kimawazo kwa sasa na kutokuwa tegemezi ili hata kama mambo yakienda mrama unajua pa kushika.

 

[Mkeshahoi]

Swala hapa ni vip mwanamke ana- manage family na kazi kwa ujumla sio ubusy wala kufika nyumbani saa nne.

wa mama mwenye kujua nini maana ya family akitoka kwenye mishughuliko yake na baada ya kuoga na kupumzika inampasa ajue watoto wameenda shule walikuwa na tatizo shuleni ,nyumbani kuna tatizo gani..
Ni mambo gani hayajaenda sawa hapo nyumbani na shuleni kwa watoto ,mzee ana tatizo gani baada ya hapo ile chakula ya wakubwa kwani kila siku inaliwa ? inategemea kama mama amechoka akisema vizuri na baba leo nimechoka Dii utakula kidogo na si kwa fujo kuna tatizo ...na pia mama akiwa huko job kwenye kutafuta riziki inabidi abakishe nguvu kidogo kwa ajili ya family? ?Ni ugumu tu wa maisha unafanya kina mama tuhangaike
Pia kuna baadhi ya wanaume wamekuwa hawajali family zao kutoa matumizi ya ndani kwao ni msamiati ndio sababu kinamama tumepanuka kimawazo kwa sasa na kutokuwa tegemezi ili hata kama mambo yakienda mrama unajua pa kushika.

Madam.. uko sahhihi kuhusu majukumu kama mama wa familia... udadisi wangu ni: waweza kuyatimia hayo ote uliyoyataja kila siku kama sehemu ya wajibu wako, kwa moyo mkunjufu, hata kama una kazi ya kukuweka bize hadi jioni?!?

Kweli kuna wanaume wengine hawajali familia zao.. na hilo litabaki kuwa tatizo kwa wanaume(ambao si ajabu walikosa malezi mema ya wazazi au wamejiendekeza na tabia hiyo mbovu)... nadhani ukweli utabaki.. hata kama ni kusaidiana kiuchumi katika familia, mama bado anatakiwa kwa na aina ya shughuli itatakayompa muda fllani wa kuiangalia familia yake.!!

 

[Mkeshahoi]

So you are telling us we should not be ambitious or we shouldn't really work...?

I think women are perfectly capable at balancing both.. Theres no reason why she can't work and still make her family happy, It's in her drive to do so....

I think you missed my point...!!
U r right, personal drive determines the ambition... but when ambition becomes an addiction, the one heads for a slump.
Women can work like everyone else. Things get different when a family(husband, children, ageing parents) comes in... it mostly centers around you for its moral well-being & that's when some of high ambitions have to be axed for the lave of your family!!
Otherwise.. you slowly begin to delegate some important motherly responsibilities to shamba boys,beki tatuz n all TD & H.

 

[Gaijin]

pata picha mama una kazi ambayo inakurudisha home kila siku saa mbili usiku na unatoka saa moja asubuhi huku una mtoto wa mwaka mmoja ..........


hapa ni lazima majukumu yako kama mama yachukuliwe na msichana wa kazi au kama umebahatika basi ni mama au ndugu yako. Inafika kipindi mtoto hataki kulishwa, kuvishwa wala kuoshwa na mama analia anataka msichana wa kazi kwa kuwa ndie aliyemzowea.

tunakoelekea kubaya wakuu.........................tunahitaji kujua kupanga priorities zetu hata tu deny vipi, ukweli unabaki mama ndio mlezi wa familia (kwa mambo madogo madogo) kuliko baba.

 

[Renegade]

Mi nadhani wanawake hawakupaswa kupewa majukumu mengi zaidi ya kulea familia.

Maisha yamebadilika sana ndugu yangu siyo enzi tulizolelewa sisi, Enzi yetu tulizaliwa wengi katika familia na wazee wengine walikuwa hawataki wakina mama wafanye kazi , hivyo tuliishi kwa pesa za mshahara MMOJA, Japo maisha hayakuwa ya juu sana lakini wazee walimudu, sasa hivi mambo yamebadilika sana maisha yako juu sana , Demand zimeongezeka sana, industrilization imetuongezea gharama, globalization imeleta competition mpaka milangoni mwa nyumba zetu. Maisha ya sasa yanataka kusaidiana.

Mi policy ya nyumbani kwangu ni kuwa sitaki mke wangu awe busy na kazi kuliko familia.

Hii Policy ni nzuri lakini watu wanatofautiana vipato, inawezekana mshahara wako mmoja ukawa sawa na mishahara 50 ya watu wa kawaida hivyo hiyo policy ita-HOLD, kama siyo je Inakuwaje? Hilo siyo kwa kila mtu linawezekana.

Mi nikifika home nataka nimkute wife, ameshaweka mambo sawa na anakuwa na nguvu ya chakula ya usiku ya watu wakubwa (i.e. tendo la nanihiiii).

Hapo Mmh!!!!?

 

[somoye]

me nadhani mtizamo mlionao bado kuna watu wana mfumo dume jamani kwani siku hizi dunia emebadilika kila kitu ni kuangalia maendeleo mbona kuna wanawake wengi tu wenye elimu za na maisha bora wanafamilia na ndoa zao imara tusiwe na imani potofu kila mara kwamba wanawake ni wakuwakandamiza kila siku tuaamke na tufute macho

 

[Preacher]

QUOTE=Mkeshahoi;993874]Sina nia mbaya na hili.. ni mtazamo wangu wangu tu!!

Wengi wa wanawake waliofanikiwa/ wenye njaa ya kufanikiwa kielimu/ kiuchumi wamejikuta wanapoteza wenzi wao au wanaishia kuwa na mahusiano tata.!! Wengi wao au.. wameachika.. wanachelewa sana kupata wenza wa maisha... wanaishia kuwa 'chakula' ya serenget boys.. wanazeeka wakiwa wapweke.. na zaidi ya yote watoto wao, licha ya kuwa na maisha bora, wanakosa 'elimu dunia' na kuishia kuharibikiwa..

Binafsi namtazama mwanamke kama nguzo ya familia...Aghalabu, nyumba isiyo na mama mambo mengi yahusuyo familia(umoja, maadili n.k.) huenda mrama. familia nyingi ambazo ziko imara,mwanamke ni kama amejitoa sadaka(kuachana na malengo ya mafanikio makubwa) kwa ajili ya mumewe, wanawe na familia kwa ujumla..!!

The more the ambitious the woman is, chances are, she will lead a lonely and emotionally distressful family life and vice versa!!

Kwa mwanaume kuwa na mahusiano imara na huyu'ambitious' woman(sorry for kiswakinge), akubali kuwa na utwala wa "kura ya turufu" au akubali kuwa ka-"bushoke"!!

AS QUOTED ABOVE IN RED - Kuwa chakula cha Serengeti boys - ni tabia, maadili ya mtu - awe ana mume au hana - and its a spiritual problem - kwani uasherati ni tabia toka kwa shetani - haichagui - hivyo sio lazima hao wanawake waishie kwa serengeti boys kwa sababu tu ya kusoma sana, kuwa na madaraka serikalini, kuwa na fedha nyingi, kuwa busy sana na kazi, biashara etc. - heshima ya mtu inatoka moyoni mwake -
Emotionally distreful life - hata wale waliofunga ndoa/wenye wengi - lakini ndoa hizo au mahusiano hayo hayana amani, uaminifu, inatokea pia. Na wale walio "mama wa nyumbani tu ..... 24hrs - bila kupata mahitaji ya msingi, kugeuka omba omba kwenye maisha yao - hata akitamani kununua kitu kidogo apewe hela na mumewe - kutoweza kufanyika " kama Mungu alivyowakusudia" - [meaning some a born presidents, prime ministers, teachers, doctors, lecturers - and name it - even JF members......] na vipaji vyao vikawa limited kutunza tu familia .... hawatakuwa na raha yoyote
Kuharibika kwa watoto - sio swala la mwanamke tu - bali WAZAZI WOTE - Baba na Mama - lifestyle ya familia etc. Pia jinsi ya kuwalea watoto katika maadili mema - ya kumjua Mungu na kumpenda Mungu - kujua madhara ya dhambi na athari zake HATA KAMA MAMA YAO HAFANYI KAZI YUKO NAO 24 HRS HAITASAIDIA

SO WANAWAKE WAWE NA CHANCE YA KULITUMIKIA TAIFA LAO KAMA WANAUME - KUCHELEWA KURUDI NYUMBANI NI MFUMO WA MAISHA YA TANZANIA - FOLENI ETC. NA KAMA MKEO ANA KAZI - LETS SAY A DOCTOR - MWACHE AHUDUMIA WAGONJWA - MPE SUPPORT AFANYE HIVYO. HAYO NI MAWAZO YANGU TU - I BELIEVE AM NOT WRONG!



Nakubali kukosolewa!![/QUOTE]

H

 

[Masaki]

Tunawafahamu wanawake Mawazir, Majaji wa Mahakama Kuu, Wabunge, Wakurugenzi wa Makampuni mbalimbali na Maprofesa wa vyuo vikuu ambao vyeo vyao huwa wanaviacha ofisini na wakifika nyumbani wanakuwa mama kwa watoto wao na mke kwa waume zao.

Tabia na malezi binafsi ya mwanamke husika ndivyo vinavyowezesha yote hayo. Na wapo pia ambao hawakusoma lakini ni pasua kichwa balaa!

 

[Mkeshahoi]

AS QUOTED ABOVE IN RED - Kuwa chakula cha Serengeti boys - ni tabia, maadili ya mtu - awe ana mume au hana - and its a spiritual problem - kwani uasherati ni tabia toka kwa shetani - haichagui - hivyo sio lazima hao wanawake waishie kwa serengeti boys kwa sababu tu ya kusoma sana, kuwa na madaraka serikalini, kuwa na fedha nyingi, kuwa busy sana na kazi, biashara etc. - heshima ya mtu inatoka moyoni mwake -
Emotionally distreful life - hata wale waliofunga ndoa/wenye wengi - lakini ndoa hizo au mahusiano hayo hayana amani, uaminifu, inatokea pia. Na wale walio "mama wa nyumbani tu ..... 24hrs - bila kupata mahitaji ya msingi, kugeuka omba omba kwenye maisha yao - hata akitamani kununua kitu kidogo apewe hela na mumewe - kutoweza kufanyika " kama Mungu alivyowakusudia" - [meaning some a born presidents, prime ministers, teachers, doctors, lecturers - and name it - even JF members......] na vipaji vyao vikawa limited kutunza tu familia .... hawatakuwa na raha yoyote
Kuharibika kwa watoto - sio swala la mwanamke tu - bali WAZAZI WOTE - Baba na Mama - lifestyle ya familia etc. Pia jinsi ya kuwalea watoto katika maadili mema - ya kumjua Mungu na kumpenda Mungu - kujua madhara ya dhambi na athari zake HATA KAMA MAMA YAO HAFANYI KAZI YUKO NAO 24 HRS HAITASAIDIA

SO WANAWAKE WAWE NA CHANCE YA KULITUMIKIA TAIFA LAO KAMA WANAUME - KUCHELEWA KURUDI NYUMBANI NI MFUMO WA MAISHA YA TANZANIA - FOLENI ETC. NA KAMA MKEO ANA KAZI - LETS SAY A DOCTOR - MWACHE AHUDUMIA WAGONJWA - MPE SUPPORT AFANYE HIVYO. HAYO NI MAWAZO YANGU TU - I BELIEVE AM NOT WRONG!



Nakubali kukosolewa!!

H[/QUOTE]

Naheshimu maoni yako mkuu ila nadhani hujanisoma.. sijahukumu kuwa wanawake wasishiriki ktk kujenga taifa... ninachojaribu kukiweka hapa ni yale amabayo binafsi nimeyaona kwa wanawake ambao wamefanikiwa sana katika malengo yao ya kimaisha... jinsi maisha yao ya familia na mahusiano yanavyokuwa na matokeo yake!! SI WOTE WANAOKUMBANA NA HAYO NILOYATAJA!