Funny and Crazy Mugabe quotes that will leave you rolling on the ground with laughter

Funny and Crazy Mugabe quotes that will leave you rolling on the ground with laughter

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Inadaiwa haya maneno siyo Prs Mugabe anayeyaandika but kwa jinsi inavyotumika akili nyingi huyu mbunifu atakuwa yupo vizuri sana.

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*******************
*Girls' legs are like rumours.. They spread any how!*
Robert Mugabe 2015 h B
--------------------------
*Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time. They will say:*
My Love, meet My Sweet heart. *And the two idiots will say "Bossu, how far?"* [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23]
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*Some of you girls can't even jog for 5minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with u for 2 hours???. Ur level of selfishness demands a one week crusade!*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------

*It's hard to bewitch African gals these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad, or a factory in China catches fire.!*
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*Dating a slim/ slender guy is cool. The problem is when u're lying on his chest, then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face!* [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
R.G Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*No sex before marriage???*
*If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day.!*

*Robert Mugabe*
*Wisdom, will kill Mugabe*
--------------------------
*Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend!*
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*"Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth.*
*But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking dicks still baffles me..."*
~Robert Mugabe[emoji23][emoji1][emoji97][emoji23]
--------------------------
*If you are ugly, you are ugly.*
*Stop talking about inner beauty, cos we dont walk around with X-rays*[emoji3][emoji3]
[HASHTAG]#ROBERT[/HASHTAG] MUGABE
--------------------------
*Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex!*
-Robert Mugabe
--------------------------
*Dear sisters,*
Don't be deceived by a man who text you: *"I miss you" only when it's raining..you are not an umbrella!* -
Robert Mugabe (2016)
--------------------------
Obama: *Mugabe, wisdom and money which one will you go for?* Mugabe: *I will take money*
Obama: *But I will go for wisdom*
Mugabe: *Well everyone will go for what he lacks!!!*[emoji23]

*Stupidity is when u lick a woman with ur bare tongue n later sex her with condom. What are u preventing, catarrh or headache?*
- Robert Mugabe
 
figganigga said:
View attachment 532900
There is never a dull day in Zimbabwe, so long as Robert Mugabe, who always have a way with words, remains the president, or so social media would have you believe. When it comes to quotable quotes, not even legendary author and humorist Mark Twain and other greats like Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill or Mahatma Ghandi have anything on him. Doubting? Sample the following latest funny quotes attributed to the Zimbabwean president.

“In Africa, the only warning they take seriously is ‘low battery’.” “Zimbabweans, let us respect pregnant women for it is not easy to carry around evidence of sex in public.” “Girls, learn to take care of yourselves. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. And as if that is not enough, use you as testimony in church.”

“We are living in a generation where people ‘in love’ are free to touch each other’s private parts, but are not allowed to touch each other’s phones because they are private.” “Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.” “The only thing that scares me about marriage is that you have to wake up earlier on the wedding day.” “No matter how men shake their ‘thing’ after urinating, the last drop is always reserved for the boxers.”


“Ladies, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s cold or raining....you are neither an umbrella nor a jacket.” “Kenyans are good runners because corruption is always chasing them.” “We are all born mad, but some decides to remain so.” “The size of a socialite’s backside is indirectly proportional to the size of her brain.”

“Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the devil always comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.” “I stopped trusting women when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy, all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.”

“Witchcraft is when a 24-year-old girl who cannot jog for five minutes expects a 40-year-old man to last for an hour in action.” “If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.” “Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there’s nothing as such any-longer because it’ll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes and for Lorry fares!” “Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.” “For a woman with beauty without brains, it’s her private parts that suffer.”
Click to expand...
[emoji23]
 
Hivi punde said:
*******************
*Girls' legs are like rumours.. They spread any how!*
Robert Mugabe 2015 h B
--------------------------
*Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time. They will say:*
My Love, meet My Sweet heart. *And the two idiots will say "Bossu, how far?"* [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23]
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*Some of you girls can't even jog for 5minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with u for 2 hours???. Ur level of selfishness demands a one week crusade!*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------

*It's hard to bewitch African gals these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad, or a factory in China catches fire.!*
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*Dating a slim/ slender guy is cool. The problem is when u're lying on his chest, then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face!* [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
R.G Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*No sex before marriage???*
*If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day.!*

*Robert Mugabe*
*Wisdom, will kill Mugabe*
--------------------------
*Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend!*
Robert Mugabe 2016
--------------------------
*"Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth.*
*But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking dicks still baffles me..."*
~Robert Mugabe[emoji23][emoji1][emoji97][emoji23]
--------------------------
*If you are ugly, you are ugly.*
*Stop talking about inner beauty, cos we dont walk around with X-rays*[emoji3][emoji3]
[HASHTAG]#ROBERT[/HASHTAG] MUGABE
--------------------------
*Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex!*
-Robert Mugabe
--------------------------
*Dear sisters,*
Don't be deceived by a man who text you: *"I miss you" only when it's raining..you are not an umbrella!* -
Robert Mugabe (2016)
--------------------------
Obama: *Mugabe, wisdom and money which one will you go for?* Mugabe: *I will take money*
Obama: *But I will go for wisdom*
Mugabe: *Well everyone will go for what he lacks!!!*[emoji23]

*Stupidity is when u lick a woman with ur bare tongue n later sex her with condom. What are u preventing, catarrh or headache?*
- Robert Mugabe
Click to expand...
[emoji2]
 
Sio yeye alisema yote hayo! Watu walianza tumia tu jina lake kama joke...
 
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