Q. Why do lazy people always claim to be perfectionists?
A. Because they always take the lazy way out
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Q. Why do ignorant people always have the most to say?
A. Because they think they know too much
Teacher: Why are you so late?
Student: There was someone who lost a hundred dollar bill!
Teacher: Oh, that is nice. Were you helping him to find it?
Student: No, I was standing on it.