Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late ? ??

Is Getting Married In Your Late Twenties, Early Thirties Too Late ? ??

Gaijin said:
ndoa na umri havina uhusiano hata mdogo

oa/olewa ukijisikia kufanya hivyo wewe mwenyewe na ukijisikia kuishi bila kuoa au kuolewa pia hakuna tatizo au niseme hakupaswi kuwa na tatizo.

wengi wanaoshikilia wenzao waolewe/waoe ni boring old people
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Kweli kabisa umri hauna uhusiano na mambo ya kuoa/olewa.
 
Gaijin said:
ndoa na umri havina uhusiano hata mdogo

oa/olewa ukijisikia kufanya hivyo wewe mwenyewe na ukijisikia kuishi bila kuoa au kuolewa pia hakuna tatizo au niseme hakupaswi kuwa na tatizo.

wengi wanaoshikilia wenzao waolewe/waoe ni boring old people
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ni kweli kabisa, lakini mie kwa wakati ule eg ningekuwa naifahamu ndoa kama ninavyoijua sasa nadhani ningeolewa kwenye 30's....sema bac tu.
 
nyamayao ..............nafikiri ikiwa tutalazimisha kutizama ndoa kimisingi ya umri basi naona ni bora zaidi kuchelewa kuliko kuwahi kwa kuwa ukiwa mdogo bado unakuwa hujajitambua wewe mwenyewe nafsi yako vizuri.
 
Successful Ndoa= readiness(mentally,physically,spiritually and econimically). Miss one of these, ndoa becomes ndoano.
 
Gaijin said:
nyamayao ..............nafikiri ikiwa tutalazimisha kutizama ndoa kimisingi ya umri basi naona ni bora zaidi kuchelewa kuliko kuwahi kwa kuwa ukiwa mdogo bado unakuwa hujajitambua wewe mwenyewe nafsi yako vizuri.
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ndio hicho na mie namaanisha dia ndio mana nikasema ningekuwa naifahamu ndoa wakati ule bac ningevutaga subira kidogo!
 
Kwa maoni yangu.There is no too late in marriage. It has always been God's plan for marriage in the early twenties (Female)to thirties(Male) but modern lifestyles demands have pushed that up.Ila hakuna kuchelewa! What is important is that LOVE has to be at the centre.For women being very choosy can cost them and when the time comes wana pata just the opposite of what they had dreamed of.ushauri ni kumuomba Mungu kwenye masuala haya ila la lazima ni kuwa muwe watu wa imani moja na dini moja
 
Nyamayao said:
ndio hicho na mie namaanisha dia ndio mana nikasema ningekuwa naifahamu ndoa wakati ule bac ningevutaga subira kidogo!
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mmmh!we Nyamayao, ungeivutia subira???ina kwa sasa kuna mushkel kidogo kwenye ndoa!au?
 
Waliopo ndani wanaona wamewahi ,na waliopo nje wanadhani wamechelewa saaaaana.
 
bacha said:
mmmh!we Nyamayao, ungeivutia subira???ina kwa sasa kuna mushkel kidogo kwenye ndoa!au?
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hapana bro! kwasasa nimeshapumua sana tena sana, kashikashi zote nimezimaliza, lakini nahic niliwah sana kuingia bila kujua maana halic ya ndoa, wakati huo nikidhani ndoa ni mie na anipendae tu na ckuwazia sana kashikashi zenyewe.
 
Nyamayao said:
hapana bro! kwasasa nimeshapumua sana tena sana, kashikashi zote nimezimaliza, lakini nahic niliwah sana kuingia bila kujua maana halic ya ndoa, wakati huo nikidhani ndoa ni mie na anipendae tu na ckuwazia sana kashikashi zenyewe.
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ndo maana waungwana wanasema aliyepo kwenye ndoa hata kama ni mdogo kwa umri basi ameshakomaa kuliko mtu ambae ni mkubwa kwa umri na still single!
 
Hivi 'kuoa' ni nini? Hii inaweza kujibu maswala mengi tu likiwemo la umri sahihi (kama upo!) wa kuoa.
 
PRECIOUSDOE said:
I have arelative who is almost sixty,a guy,never married ,never had kids.He is so focused n principled,sometyms I dont get why its him of all pple who dint get married.When all my other relatives including those who are drunkards,irresponsible,womanisers etc are married n have kids.In Africa its like marriage is a badge of honor like if you are married you automatically become a better person.I think not.Many single people are such exemplary people and many married folk are so lousy and bad example to their kids that Ive learnt to take everyone as an individual- not just luking at marital status.

I think when its the right time you will know,it feels right but problem is that most people like to be insync with their peers instead of being bold enough to walk their own path so they end up in marriages where they are miserable.in your thirties you are mature n know who u r so you can make better choices on partners.

In conclusion I can say that when you feel like you dont have a choice or rushed to do something you are on the way to doing something u r bound to regret.the best decisions are made when there is no pressure -if youallow the pressure to marry coz of your age to get to you you will panic n end up with the wrong person.
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PRECIOUSDOE I salute you for a nice observation !!!
 
Maisha mafupi first lady, watu sahv hata below 20 wanaoana.
 
Kwa mtazamo wangu na kutokana na watu nilokwisha kutana nao kuolewa late 20s na early 30s ni best.

1. Ni vizuri kuwa na ka experience ka maisha ya kujitegemea na unaweza kupata huo uzoefu tu ukichelewa kidogo kuolewa

2 Kuolewa mdogo kunasababisha wamama wengi kuzaa watoto wengi (japo si wote) nadhani kuna hata tafiti zime prove nachosema

3. Kuchelewa kuolewa kama hujachelewa sana hakuna tofauti na waliowahi kuolewa kwenye suala la kuwa na nguvu za kulea kwani unakuta aliyechelewa amezaa mpaka na miaka say 35 (wa kwanza say amemzaa na 31 years wa pili amemzaa 33) wakati aliyewahi kuolewa nae unaweza kua anazaa up to mid 30s.

4. Ndugu zangu wa karibu waliowahi kuolewa ni kati ya wale wanaojutia uchaguzi wao, kwani kuna waliokuwa wanafunzi bado (college) wakababaikia vijisenti vya wanaume bila kupima tabia kwani wao walikuwa hawajashika pesa bado hivyo ilikuwa rahisi kurubuniwa. Ila sina hakika kama hii ni kwa wote naongelea mifano niliyoona.

5. Kwa mifano niliyoona wengi wa wanaowahi kuolewa wanaolewa na watu waliowazidi sana umri na ndoa inakuwa boring kwa maana kuwa nao wanakuwa forced kuzeeka au kuendelea na ujana kitu ambacho kinaleta ugomvi. Hii ni kwa sababu binti akiolewa say na miaka 20 ni most likely atakuwa ameolewa na mtu alomzidi sana umri maana wa age yake hawana uwezo wa kuoa.
 
Duh ni kweli kuolewa late ni much better, unakuwa matured enough kuelewa mambo ya maisha
 
Sijui kwanini nimefungua hii thread, imenipa msongo wa mawazo tu
 
Umri sahihi wa kuoa kwa kijana wakiume ni miaka 27-32, kwa mabint kuolewa umri mzuri ni 24-30, tofauti na hapo ni kama umechelewa! Mara nyingi hii huwa ngumi kwasababu ya hali ngumu ya kimaisha ya wengi wetu so kuona mwenye 35-42 si ajabu bt hawa huwa wamechelewa sana!
 
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