MJ1,
Kwanza salamu za asubuhi. Is it possible? Inategemea tena na vitu vingi. Hapa nitaongelea hata kwa wale ambao hawana watoto. Kwanza kabisa, how did you start the relationship before you decided to call it a day? As friends or was love at first sight? Nafikiri kama mlianza kama marafiki wa kawaida tuu (namaanisha urafiki wa muda mrefu), baadae mkaamua kuwa na uhusiano wa kimapenzi, it is possible to kurudi na kubakia kuwa marafiki wa kawaida kama mlivyokuwa mwanzoni. Lakini kama mlikutana na kuanza uhusiano wa kimapenzi straight awa it might be difficult to remain friends.
Pili, kama mlikuwa kwenye mahusiano wa kimapenzi kwa muda mrefu sana let say 20 years, halafu mka-break up kuna possibility ya kuendelea kuwa marafiki (kama hawa hapa:
Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver Reunite For Dinner In LA -- Are They Reconciling?) tofauti na wale waliokaa pamoja kwa miaka miwili na kuachana.
Tatu, kama muda mrefu umeshapita tokea muachane, after you have both really moved on, you might be friends. Lakini kama mmeachana juzi juzi tuu, it might be a pain even to want to see his/her face depeniding on who caused the break up.
Nne, sababu ya kuachana nayo inachangia tena sana. There are some very traumatic break ups which might make it difficult to remain friends. And, if either of you have unresolved anger towards the other it might be extremely difficult to remain friends afterwards. Wakati huo huo, note there are some who want to be friends now for subconscious excuse to be around the other person so they can find closure on unresolved things. And the opposite is true, too. So, be aware of this.
Lakini, at the end of the day, kama kweli unataka ubakie kuwa rafiki na ex wako, it should only be because you like him as a friend. Nothing more. Inabidi iwe kwa sababu uko tayari to work at what might be a very hard friendship to solidify. Kilichokuvutia kwake in the first place, might probably still there.
However, be clear kuwa kuna tofauti kati ya working at a friendship with someone worth it, and the possibility that you are just avoiding the fact that you need to move on. Just like the idea that the reasons you liked this guy in the first place still exist, there's another list that still exists too. Odds are all the reasons he decided in the end that he does not want to be with this girl also still exist. He couldn't put up with her obsession with American Idol when he were dating her, can he deal with it as a friend?
So,kujibu swali lako, whether it is possible, inategemeana na mambo mengine wahusika wenyewe, how they started and ended the relationship, their true intentions, the aftermath of the break up, mazingira na mazagazaga mengine. Kama wanavyosema wanasheria, japokuwa kuna precedents ambazo zimewekwa ili kusaidia katika kutoa maamuzi kwenye kesi zinazofanana, every case should be decided based on its own facts and circumstances. Hiyo anger management course wala isikushinde as inaweza ikakukasadia pia usipate ban za ovyo ovyo hapa JF as Mods are tighting up their belts. LOL.