Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

kajojo · Jun 19, 2017

*_Lakini Nuhu aliamua tu kutusababishia Malaria ule mda Mbu zilikuwa mbili ndani ya safina si angeziua_*

JW1984 · Jun 19, 2017

kajojo said:
*_Lakini Nuhu aliamua tu kutusababishia Malaria ule mda Mbu zilikuwa mbili ndani ya safina si angeziua_*

[emoji75][emoji75][emoji75][emoji75][emoji75][emoji75][emoji75][emoji75]

ElPuto Jefe · Jun 19, 2017

Kuoa ni kama kuchagua parachichi gengeni, unabinya 9 unanunua la 10..
Sasa wewe jifanye mtakatifu usibinye, utakuja kununua bichi.

Hapo ndio utajua ni kwanini makinikia a.k.a yake ni maboso..!!

Ludanha · Jun 19, 2017

kajojo said:
*_Lakini Nuhu aliamua tu kutusababishia Malaria ule mda Mbu zilikuwa mbili ndani ya safina si angeziua_*

Aiseee! Ni kweli kabisa sijui kwanini alifanya uzembe hv[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

christelly · Jun 19, 2017

MJUKUU WA CHIFU said:
Wanyama wangekuwa na WHAT'S UP.
Status zingekuwa:

MENDE: "nimekoswa na guu la mama mwenye Nyumba, maisha yangu mashakani, why always me???? "

PANYA: "nimekula nguo lenye pafyumu, nasikiaje kiu. uwiiiii"

NGURUWE: Binadamu wabaya jamani, wameshanizushia nasambaza mafua "

MBU: Nina HIV, nimekomaje kunyonyanyonya hovyo.

MBUZI: teh teh teh. thank Good pasaka imepita. ni kula BATA tuu mpaka EID.

KUKU: "friends mkiona kesho kimya mjue nipo mezani maana kuna wageni wamekuja leo hapa home, tuombeane uzima wapendwa, love you all"

MBWA:Wadau mie nshakuwa wa kulala nje tu na kuwalinda washikaji kisha wananipa makombo

PAKA:Kweli unga umepanda kabana hadi panya hawaonekani vichochoroni

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

GISAMBO · Jun 19, 2017

Mzee alienda kanisani kubatizwa alipotoka kwenye maji padri akamwambia “Sasa wewe ni kiumbe kipya,usinywe tena pombe na utaitwa Paul”. Alipofika nyumbani Paul akafungua friji akatoa bia ya Tusker akaitumbukiza kwenye maji akasema “Wewe ni kiumbe kipya toka sasa jina lako ni Fanta Orange”

[emoji115][emoji115][emoji115][emoji115][emoji115][emoji115][emoji115][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Foxhound · Jun 20, 2017

Wanasema fitina titi la paka halifai kwa mtindi.
Je hili[emoji116] [emoji116] linafaa au halifai??
[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]

Guasa Ambonii · Jun 20, 2017

Palikuwa na ufungishwaji wa ndoa kanisani kikafika kipengere cha bibi harusi kuulizwa kama pana mtu wa kupinga ndoa ile isifungwe na bibi harusi alikuwa mwingi wa khabari basi padri kasema mara ya kwanza kimya! mara ya pili kimya! anataka kusema mara ya tatu kanisa lote kimya kimetawala mara padri anamuona mzee mmoja na mkongojo wake anakuja mbele taratibu bibi harusi kuona hivyo akaanguka na kupoteza fahamu ikabidi wamtoe nje wakampepe sasa padri anamuuliza yule mzee "ehhe mzee una pingamizi lolote? mzee hapana
Padri :sasa mbona umekuja huku mbele?
Mzee :nina matatizo ya kusikia sasa kule nyuma nilikuwa sisikii vizuri ibada hii ikabidi nije mbele ili nisikie vizuri unavyofungisha ndoa.

stickvibration · Jun 20, 2017

*Boy:ww ni jua katika maisha yangu bila ww maisha yangu ni mazito kama wingu nene litandalo asubuhi ww upo ndani ya moyo wangu kama maji yatiririkayo kutoka mtoni kwenda baharini tafadhali nikubalie Girl:Unanitongoza au unatabiri hali ya hewa?*[emoji855][emoji855][emoji855][emoji855][emoji855]

Guasa Ambonii · Jun 20, 2017

Nimekuta njemba mbili zinazozana mmoja anamwambia mwenzie kama yeye mwanaume kweli avuke mstari aliouchora yule jamaa lahaula yule jamaa wala hajajitingisha namuona kavua suruali na kuonyesha MPINI umesimama nikawa najiuliza watanzania wengi tunafeli mitihani kwa kutokuelewa maswali.

Culture Me · Jun 21, 2017

Pumzi · Jun 21, 2017

Mwifwa · Jun 21, 2017

STORY ZA WASICHANA KATIKA SIMU.

Mary: Hallow mpenzi.

Lily: Niambie my dear.

Mary: Pouwaa za siku jamani.

Lily: Nzuri rafiki Yangu wa damu.

Mary: Jioni nakuja kwako tule na kunywa japo wine wangu.

Lily: Nakusubiri kwa hamuu mpenzi.

BAADA YA KUKATA SIMU KILA MMOJA ANAWAZA.

Lily: Huyu mchawi wa kike Leo anataka kuja kwangu wala hanikuti.

Mary: Hahahahaaaa Uwiiiiiiiiii huyu kahaba eti nakusubiri Kwa hamuu nani aende!

STORY ZA WAVULANA KATIKA SIMU.

John: Niaje we mbwaa.

Sam: Pouwa kichaa wanguu.

John: Upo wap mpumbavu wewe.

Sam: Niko home, we fala Uko wapi?

John: Baadae nakuibukia jambazi, langu tukale bata
Sawa…
Sam: Pouwaa we kichwa maji nakusubiri.

BAADA YA KUKATA SIMU KILA MMOJA ANAWAZA.

John: Dah baadae nikakae na mwanangu Sam sijamuona long time.

Sam: John bwana akiwa na pesa lazima anitafute mwanae.

FUNZO: Baadhi ya Wasichana hujifanya wanapendana kwa
maneno lakini ni Kwa nje tu!

WAVULANA unaweza Kudhani
hawapendani kwa maneno lakini WANAPENDANA.

Foxhound · Jun 21, 2017

<br />Sasa huyu akipita pale Central si watampigia saluti [emoji15] [emoji15] [emoji15] khaaa[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125]

Guasa Ambonii · Jun 21, 2017

alibakari said:
<br />Sasa huyu akipita pale Central si watampigia saluti [emoji15] [emoji15] [emoji15] khaaa[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125]

Tatizo bendera yake haipeperuki!

vallentino86 · Jun 21, 2017

culture gal said:

[emoji4][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

vallentino86 · Jun 21, 2017

Tantaw said:
Kuoa ni kama kuchagua parachichi gengeni, unabinya 9 unanunua la 10..
Sasa wewe jifanye mtakatifu usibinye, utakuja kununua bichi.

Hapo ndio utajua ni kwanini makinikia a.k.a yake ni maboso..!!

twala kwa chumvi ukisubiria yaive

vallentino86 · Jun 21, 2017

Guasa Amboni said:
Teknolojia ya motokali ilikuwa haijaingia kijijini hapo palikuwa na bingwa wa pikipiki pale sasa siku moja jioni kabeba mkewe akaona mbele pana taa mbili zinakuja akamwambia mkewe ngoja niwaonyeshe kuwa mimi ndio bingwa wao napita katikati yao loh kumbe lilikuwa ni scania ndio mara ya kwanza limekuja kuchukua mazao.

mbwembwe hazijawah kumwacha binadam yeyote bila fundisho [emoji12] [emoji12]

vallentino86 · Jun 22, 2017

Jovitha said:
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] yeuwiii

angeshikilia makali [emoji18]

stickvibration · Jun 22, 2017

Mambo vipi? unajua wewe unajitafutia matatizo bure unapoongea maneno uwe unafikiria sio unajilopokea ovyo utakuja kunitafutia matatizo bure ndugu maneno uliyoongea nimeyapata na sijapenda kiukweli,mi nakuheshimu sana na tangu tumejuana sijawahi kukosana na wewe hata siku moja kama huna vitu vya kuongea uwe unakaa kimya, kuliko ulivyofanya,sio vizuri.Ni nani amekutuma umwambie Rais Magufuli eti mimi nafaa kuwa mkuu wa mkoa?
Akili yangu naijua mwenyewe ina matatizo ya problem[emoji1321]

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

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