Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

fufu said:

Ikijibana kucheka
Bado kfgo nhambeeeeee aiseeeeh


Kwakwakwakwa

Click to expand...

Teh teh teh teh teh[emoji317]

stickvibration said:

Bangi acha ipigwe marufuku...!!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Jamaa walikuwa wamekaa jumba bovu wanavuta bangi wakaishiwa kiberiti,

Si ndipo wakamtuma
mwenzao akaombe popote. Jamaa akazungukaaaaa weee..!!

Akatokea pale pale walipo wenzie..
akawambia, "...masela naombeni kiberiti". Kwa kuwa jamaa nao walikuwa wamekolea kisawasawa wakamjibu,,

"...Tumemtuma mshikaji, kaa hapa tumsubiri". Jamaa nae Si akakaa kusubiri kiberiti...!!![emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Walisubiri, Wakasubiri, Wakasubiri... na
Wakasubiriiiii weee..!!! mpaka Saivi nimewaaacha wanasubiri tu..!!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Click to expand...

[emoji1] [emoji2] [emoji3] [emoji1] [emoji2] [emoji3] [emoji1] [emoji2] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji4] [emoji4] [emoji12] [emoji12] [emoji12] [emoji12] [emoji12] [emoji12]

alibakari said:

Mkurya kapewa uji wa moto nyumbani kwake, kaunywa kwa haraka ili awahi kazini kaungua mdomo. Kufika kazini akaulizwa, "imekuwaje ukaungua mdomo?"
Akajibu "mama Bhoke kanipa uchi wa moto"[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Sio mimi, tatizo lafudhi

Click to expand...

[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38]

alibakari said:

Mkurya kapewa uji wa moto nyumbani kwake, kaunywa kwa haraka ili awahi kazini kaungua mdomo. Kufika kazini akaulizwa, "imekuwaje ukaungua mdomo?"
Akajibu "mama Bhoke kanipa uchi wa moto"[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Sio mimi, tatizo lafudhi

Click to expand...

Hahahahaaaaaaa[emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji1] [emoji1]

Meli ilizidiwa na mizigo, ikabidi watu mbali mbali watupe vitu vyao:
Mzungu akatupa computer akasema kwetu zipo tele!
Mchina akatupa mabox ya simu akasema kwetu zipo tele!!
Masai akatupa shanga akasema kwetu zipo tele!
Mzenji akaangalia cha kutupa kakosa, akamuona Masai mmoja akamchukua na kumtupa, watu wakamuuluza "Mbona umemtupa Masai" akajibu wapo wengi darajani.

Freyzem said:

Ninakama miez miwil hv sijawah kufagia ghetto
wala kufua shuka bi mkubwa kanisema mpaka
kachoka, jana nipo zangu kitaan nikakuta cm
yangu inaita namba ngen kupokea nasikia sauti
tamu ya mtoto wakike kuuliza nan ananiambia
neema jiran yetu akaniambia Leo anatakakuja
ghetto kusoma nikafurah balaa. Leo nimeamka
nikapiga deki nikafua mashuka nikatoa mauchafu
hadi juu ya bati daaa mother ananicheka kinoma
huku anasema mtoto neema kanipatia na uchafu
wangu hapa nimempigia cm neema namuuliza
kama anakuja ananiambia nimkome alitumwa na
mama yangu tu ili nifue mashuka na kufanya
usafi ghetto eti nimezid uchafu.Hivi nnavyo kuwambia narudisha uchafu wote ndani! Sipendagi ujunga mimi [emoji57][emoji57][emoji57]

Click to expand...

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

kweli pombe sio chai
kuna jamaa mmoja alienda bar akanywa pombe za kutosha akalewa ile mbaya. Akarudi nyumbani kwake mida ya saa tatu usiku, akawa anagonga mlango nyumbani kwake. Akagonga sana kwa muda wa dakika kama kumi na tano hivi. Nikabidi nimjibu tu kuwa wenyewe hawapo; wakati najua kabisa kuwa yule mlevi anakaa mle ndani peke yake Sipendagi ujinga mimi. Basi yule mlevi akasepa zake baada ya kumwambia wenyewe hawapo. Akili zangu na za huyu mlevi tunajua wenyewe [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1]

Stori ya leo ni ya kugusa sana

Mwalimu alimwambia Joni aguse ubao, Joni akagusa, akamwambia tena Joni akagusa
Mwalimu akamwambia Joni endelea
Joni akagusa, akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa akagusa.
[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji115] [emoji115] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Kwani si nilisema ya kugusa sana[emoji106] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

Mlevi mmoja alilewa sana hadi kushindwa kurudi nyumbani kwake hivyo akalala jalalani, chizi alikwenda jalalani na kupekua pekua taka taka, bahati mbaya akamshika matako mlevi, mlevi akatikisika, chizi akaanza kujisemea "Watanzania bwana watu wa ajabu sana, matako mazima wameyatupa"
[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] chizi bwana

Click to expand...

[emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji2] [emoji3] [emoji2] [emoji1]

Freyzem said:

MUGABE NAE KWA MAJIBU ANATISHA
SWALI:Kwanini wanasiasa wala rushwa hawaendi jela ?

MUGABE! Hii ni sawa na mbu anayeng'ata kwenye pumbu hawezi kupigwa kofi zito.
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Click to expand...

[emoji24] [emoji24] [emoji24] [emoji24] [emoji24]

Okwonko_TZ said:

Kuna kale kawivu watz tunako umeme ukikatika kwako lazma utoke nje kuangalia kama kwa jirani upo......hivi ni kwanini lakini? 🙄😱😡

Click to expand...

[emoji23]

*ENZI ZA SEKONDARI*
*John ana miaka 10 pungufu ya Baba yake mama yake ana miaka 40, miaka 20 zaidi ya john.Tafuta umri wa..*
*1.john*
*2.Baba*
*3.Mama*
*......Hilo swali nilikuwa naliruka...Sio kwamba* *nilikuwa siliwezi ni basi tu sipendi kuingilia mambo ya familia za* *watu*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] *mwalimu wangu nsameh* *umbeya spendi

Kilembwe said:

Jamaa yuko na demu wake na maongezi yalikuwa:
Jamaa: Babe!
Demu: Yes honey what is it?
Jamaa: whisper to me something sweet!
Demu: Glucose!
....Watu hawatakaji ujinga...

Click to expand...

sijaelewa hii embu nifafanulie.

Huku ndo bashite anapo pita

Mudhyd said:

SHULE ALIYOKUWA AKISOMA MDOGO WANGU MATOKEO YAPO HIVI
Div I =0
Div II=0
Div III=0
Div IV=0
Div 0= 96
Matokeo ya mdogo wangu bado sijayacheki
NAOMBEA AWE AMEFAULU TUU.
[emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji120][emoji120]

Click to expand...

Atakuwa hapo kwenye Div - V

troublemaker said:

sijaelewa hii embu nifafanulie.

Click to expand...

Tantaw said:

View attachment 485105

Click to expand...

Teacher:name the nation people hate the most
Pupil:Exami-Nation

Teacher😱ne day our country will be corruption free.What tense is that?
Pupil:Future Impossible tense.

A mother used to cook her kids chicken everyday, but the kids got fed up.
Gal: Nitaambia mum aache kupika kuku.
Boy: kwa nini?
Gal: Nimeanza kumea manyoya huko chini.
Boy: Nilidhani ni mimi tuu!
Gal: ata wewe? Ona zangu venye ni mob. Ebu nione zako.
Boy: taking short down. Ona kazi ya mum na kuku zake daily.
Gal: Ghai! Yako imezidi, si manyoya pekee,unamea shingo ya kuku pia.
Boy: hata si shingo pekee, shika usikie mayai mbili hapa chini ya shingo.......

[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13]