Kimbweka
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 16, 2009
- 8,597
- 1,690
Wata tu - PM tuwatafsirie bana ung'eng'e mtamu bana sasa depression nitaiandikaje kiswahili au ndo msongo wa mawazo na stress je au distress??????
Kumpoteza mtu unayempenda!!
Kumpoteza mtu unayempenda!!
- Thread starter BelindaJacob
- Start date
Wata tu - PM tuwatafsirie bana ung'eng'e mtamu bana sasa depression nitaiandikaje kiswahili au ndo msongo wa mawazo na stress je au distress??????
The Finest
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 14, 2010
- 21,605
- 6,092
Hahaha sweetlady lunch on me
Nyamayao
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 22, 2009
- 6,966
- 2,357
ivi inakuwaga tunapenda tucpopendwa au ni vipi jamani, unajitoa/unampemnda mtu kwa moyo mmoja mweupe but ndio wa kwanza kukuumiza, BJ my dia, wengi tumetokea huko, inauma/umiza sana, wengine tuliona kama maisha hayawezi kuendelea tena but namshukuru Mungu kuweka kitu "kusahau"...tulisahau tukasonga na maisha tukapata waliotupenda/kutujali na maisha yanaendelea, jipe moyo mami...pole sana.
Pearl
JF-Expert Member
- Nov 25, 2009
- 3,036
- 319
Move on. When you feel you are ready to open your heart again, find someone else to be with.
Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.
Put away the memories. When you regain composure from step 2, put the remainder candy wrappers, music, item of smell memory in the box with the rest of the memory debris. Keep out the picture.
Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.
Practice being honest to yourself every day. In fact, be honest to everyone. Living in the truth of every moment will allow you to carve your way to a better relationship the next time around.
Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.
If you feel ready, start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months. Be careful about how you mention your ex to people you date, others can easily tell where your heart still truly lies and if just the mention of your ex's name makes your eyes well up, then you definitely need more time to heal before seeing other people. Jumping from one relationship to the next will not make you feel better in the long run as unresolved issues will appear in your new relationship.
Speak to people. Speak to friends. They have all been through the same and will gladly help ease your burden of dealing with a broken heart.
http://www.wikihow.com/Heal-a-Broken-Heart
Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.
Put away the memories. When you regain composure from step 2, put the remainder candy wrappers, music, item of smell memory in the box with the rest of the memory debris. Keep out the picture.
- Every day for a week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud, "Forget you and the horse you rode in on," or some other suitable invective and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop. Say it out loud, be your filthy angriest self in these mutterings.
- Every day for the second week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud. I miss you, and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop.
- Every day for the third week when you walk by the picture of your former soul mate, say I am sorry out loud to the picture.
Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.
Practice being honest to yourself every day. In fact, be honest to everyone. Living in the truth of every moment will allow you to carve your way to a better relationship the next time around.
Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.
If you feel ready, start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months. Be careful about how you mention your ex to people you date, others can easily tell where your heart still truly lies and if just the mention of your ex's name makes your eyes well up, then you definitely need more time to heal before seeing other people. Jumping from one relationship to the next will not make you feel better in the long run as unresolved issues will appear in your new relationship.
Speak to people. Speak to friends. They have all been through the same and will gladly help ease your burden of dealing with a broken heart.
http://www.wikihow.com/Heal-a-Broken-Heart
sweetlady
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 24, 2010
- 16,947
- 8,419
hahahahaha. Mi nimeishia la saba B. Ntakumbuka kweli maneno yote niyatume kwenye PM?? Haya bana nitajitahidi.
sweetlady
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 24, 2010
- 16,947
- 8,419
Hahahaha! Nitumie kiporo cha ile keki ya jana...lol.
Kimbweka
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 16, 2009
- 8,597
- 1,690
Mbona jina lako umeandika kithungu
Salma osman
Senior Member
- Feb 22, 2011
- 164
- 42
all i can tel u jus move on wid lyfe,everythg has reason in this world that is why God has decided 2 b that way.ma dea stop stressing urself make urself happy jus 4get abt him nd move on its nt the end of world!
sweetlady
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 24, 2010
- 16,947
- 8,419
Hahahaa! Afu hayo ndo majina ya kule kijijini kwetu!... Ngoja niangalie kwenye dict. Nikipata maana kwa kiswahili nalibadili kuonyesha msisitizo.
BelindaJacob
Platinum Member
- Nov 24, 2008
- 6,474
- 4,039
- Thread starter
- #30
Asante sana mkuu, labda muda uendavyo utasaidia mana sasahivi nawaza mpaka kichwa kinauma..Bora angeniambia, ningeumia lakini kukubaliana na hali..kuliko nilivyoandaa suprise halafu nikakuta imenigeukia mimi kimaumivu kiasi hiki..
Aah..maisha haya ni kujifunza na kupitia mengi!..
Shukrani mpenzi..Yani nilichoka, nilivyosikia amani&raha yote iliniisha!..Hakuaniambia tu ndiyo tatizo mana nisingeweza kumzuia ilhali ni uamuzi wake lakini kuendelea nami nikijua nimepata kumbe nimepatikana..Kweli yote heri, naamini maisha yanaendelea. nipate uwezo wa kupita hiki kipindi cha maumivu kiasi hiki..
Nyani Ngabu
Platinum Member
- May 15, 2006
- 94,296
- 122,540
Ingekuwa vizuri baadhi ya utirio unaobandikwa na watu hapa kuwa sourced. Kama utirio sio wako kubandika bandika tu bila walau hata kudokeza ulipoutoa si uzuri hata kidogo.
BelindaJacob
Platinum Member
- Nov 24, 2008
- 6,474
- 4,039
- Thread starter
- #32
Asante sana B_E, kweli inauma mpaka moyo umekuwa na hasira!..chozi zatiririka tu muda mwingine!
In deed, hizo steps ni nzuri sana..Thanks for sharing ktk kipindi hiki, nitazifanyia kazi niweze kupambana na haya mawazo + situation!..Thx
In deed, I loved him and trusted he loved me back(though siwezi kuusemea moyo usikute nilikuwa 'the least' kwenye maisha yake)
Given the fact that I'm in a very difficult time, I have to accept the reality and move on..Ooh! How I wish nisingekutana nae, did all things we did..Kaniacha njia panda yani hii 2011 ameniachia historia chungu!
Thanks a lot TF!..
sweetlady
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 24, 2010
- 16,947
- 8,419
Naumia kama vile ni mimi. Pole BJ. Fanya maombi sana, yatasaidia kuondoa hizo hasira. I hate wanaume matapeli wa mapenzi!!! Ni vile hatuwezi kuwatambua, wanajua kuigiza hao. Laana yetu na iwe juu yao.
BAK
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 11, 2007
- 124,790
- 288,165
Pole sana BJ. Najua hili linakupa shida sana kwa jinsi ulimvyompenda huyu mtu na hatimaye kukusaliti katika penzi lenu ambalo wewe ulidhani kwamba lilikuwa na bright future. Jitahidi tu ili uweze kuendelea na maisha yako ingawaje kuna siku utakuwa unaelemewa sana na mawazo tele na si ajabu hata kulia sana ukikumbuka mlivyokuwa pamoja na jinsi ulivyompenda na ahadi zake tele kuhusu penzi lenu. Pole sana.
YouTube - Chris Brown - Crawl
BelindaJacob
Platinum Member
- Nov 24, 2008
- 6,474
- 4,039
- Thread starter
- #35
Acha tu Dena mamii, kweli nimekuwa mpweke na kujiuliza maswali mengi na mawazo juu ya mawazo!
Inshallah, maisha yataendelea naomba kudra ya Mola niweze kupita huu wakati na kukubaliana na hali.
Jamani pole kukukumbusha na wewe, ilichukua muda gani? ulifanyaje? In deed, pole mydear!
Carmel mpenzi, nashukuru sana kwa faraja hii..Nitamtanguliza Mungu mbele ili aniwezeshe nisamehe, maana hapa pia ni pagumu sana kwa upande wang. Hasira na chuki vimenizingira sana juu ya hili. Najua nikimsamehe itanipa ahueni hata kama sitosahau!
Aliwasiliana na mimi kutaka kuelezea lakini sikumpa hiyo nafasi, niliona kama hakufanya ubinadamu mana angeweza hata kunitafuta kabla hajaoa kuniambia 'its over'. kweli amenikatili!
BelindaJacob
Platinum Member
- Nov 24, 2008
- 6,474
- 4,039
- Thread starter
- #36
Hii imenitia nguvu, nashukuru mkuu..Nitazidisha maombi na kuamini kwa yeye kila kitu kunawezekana.
Ubarikiwe sana pmwasyoke!!
Thanks for beautiful&comforting words..I'm trying my best to deal with this, I hope time will favor me!..
Inauma sana na imeshatokea yani maisha haya!ooh..
UMASKINI BYEBYE
Member
- May 5, 2011
- 5
- 2
Wakati mwingine unaepushwa kitu,kuna watu yamewatokea haya baadae wakapata jibu kumbe waliepushwa jambo.
Cha kufanya jichanganye na marafiki, mda mwingi usitumie kukaa peke yako au hata kama ukiwa peke yako jaribu kufanya kitu ambacho unapenda labda kama kuangalia movie,games,mazoezi nk hakika ukifanya hayo utamsahau haraka.
Na bila kusahau hili usijaribu kumfuatilia, namba yake ya simu futa ikiwezekana, na jaribu kuepuka kitu chochote ambacho kitakufanya umkumbuke tena.
Cha kufanya jichanganye na marafiki, mda mwingi usitumie kukaa peke yako au hata kama ukiwa peke yako jaribu kufanya kitu ambacho unapenda labda kama kuangalia movie,games,mazoezi nk hakika ukifanya hayo utamsahau haraka.
Na bila kusahau hili usijaribu kumfuatilia, namba yake ya simu futa ikiwezekana, na jaribu kuepuka kitu chochote ambacho kitakufanya umkumbuke tena.
Kbd
JF-Expert Member
- Oct 9, 2009
- 1,260
- 448
Hapo kwenye bold hapo ndugu yangu.......nimekusoma!!
Mo-TOWN
JF-Expert Member
- Oct 11, 2010
- 1,721
- 515
Pole sana kwa mkasa huu. Inawezekana sana kuwa unaumia na kuhukumiwa labda kwa namna moja au nyingine ulichangia mpenzi wako kukuacha. Nisema mpaka utapokuwa wazi utaweza kusaidiwa kimawazo vizuri zaidi ili uweze kumove on na kuepukana na kadhia kama hii hapo siku za mbele utakupo kuwa tayari kuwa na mahusiano tena.
Si rahisi tu kusema msahau move on etc etc. Hapa kunakuja ugumu mmoja kutoka na kiwango cha mahusiano kilipofikia kwa mtu aliyekuwa serious ni vigumu sana na ni rahisi kwa mtu ambaye alikuwa anapita tu na hakuwa na malengo ya ukweli.
Kwa hiyo ili kusaidiwa vizuri naomba uwe wazi zaidi, vinginevyo ushauri utaopata hautakuwa na mashiko sana. Kwa mfano ulivyo-ipresent hii issue ni kwamba huyo bwana ndio alikuwa na problem!! is that so? ukiangalia tena unaona huyu bwana ameshao baada ya kuachana nawe. Hapa napata picha kuwa naye labda alikuwa serious ktk swala la ndoa. Kwa kuwa hatuna details fulani mimi kwa mfano nitabaki kuspeculate kuwa wewe ni sehemu ya tatizo lililokukuta labda wote mlikuwa serious ktk swala la ndoa lakini objectives zikawa tofauti. Again pole sana ila jitahidi kujua kwa nini ilitokea hivyo ili iweze kukusaidia ku-heal hayo majeraha ya moyoni ikiwa ni pamoja na kukubaliana kuwa hali ndio hiyo.
1. Find someone you trust to talk about how the death is affecting you. Don't keep your feelings to yourself and increase the stress you are already under.
2. Be willing to listen and be open to others who have experienced similar losses and how they have dealt with them. Choose those ideas that you feel are appropriate for your use and let the rest go. Much can be learned from others who have been there and done that.
3. Practice taking your attention off your sadness and focusing on a diversion like a pleasant memory of your loved one, gratitude for all that you still have, or any topic of interest. In changing your attention it will help if you walk to another room or perform some other physical task. Switching attention is a critical life-long skill to develop.
4. Allow yourself to express your emotions. Crying is a normal human response to loss. It has a purpose: helping you cope with loss through emotional and physical release. If you can't cry, write, paint, or draw what you are feeling.
5. Begin your new routines. With the absence of your loved one, you will have new tasks to fulfill. It's a new life. Perhaps grocery shopping, caring for your home, car, or apartment, maybe even eating at a different time, will be different. Establishing these new routines early on is important in your grief work.
6. Trust mystery and the unseen. Many so called coincidences and synchronicities, and in some cases, special helping dreams and visions may occur. Look for them. Ask for them. They will come. They are normal. I tell every client I work with that there is nothing wrong with praying for a sign that your loved one is okay.
7. Take a daily stress break. For at least 20 minutes each day, find a quiet place, recline, and put your feet up to rest. Listen to music or the sounds of nature.
8. Discover and grieve your associated losses. For every major loss there are usually a number of secondary losses. They could be financial or have to do with meaning, transportation, companionship, dreams of the future, sex, social interaction and more, all of which are now altered. Some secondary losses will not occur for years (a graduation, anniversary, etc.). Determine these losses, talk about them, and grieve them.
9. Start looking for ways to help others even as you grieve. This ancient piece of wisdom is well founded because by seeking to give of your time and treasure to others you are taking the focus off of yourself. Your love will heal and be returned.
10. Replenish your spiritual beliefs. Many mourners find comfort in prayer and being alone in nature to speak with their creator. Nature is great therapy and thinking of your faith and values in a beautiful setting can bring comfort, new awareness, and solace. It has long been known that the more you focus on a particular thing you create more of it. Create new insights from your spiritual beliefs and how you will allow them a more prominent place in your recovery process.
See your therapist/ counsellor
2. Be willing to listen and be open to others who have experienced similar losses and how they have dealt with them. Choose those ideas that you feel are appropriate for your use and let the rest go. Much can be learned from others who have been there and done that.
3. Practice taking your attention off your sadness and focusing on a diversion like a pleasant memory of your loved one, gratitude for all that you still have, or any topic of interest. In changing your attention it will help if you walk to another room or perform some other physical task. Switching attention is a critical life-long skill to develop.
4. Allow yourself to express your emotions. Crying is a normal human response to loss. It has a purpose: helping you cope with loss through emotional and physical release. If you can't cry, write, paint, or draw what you are feeling.
5. Begin your new routines. With the absence of your loved one, you will have new tasks to fulfill. It's a new life. Perhaps grocery shopping, caring for your home, car, or apartment, maybe even eating at a different time, will be different. Establishing these new routines early on is important in your grief work.
6. Trust mystery and the unseen. Many so called coincidences and synchronicities, and in some cases, special helping dreams and visions may occur. Look for them. Ask for them. They will come. They are normal. I tell every client I work with that there is nothing wrong with praying for a sign that your loved one is okay.
7. Take a daily stress break. For at least 20 minutes each day, find a quiet place, recline, and put your feet up to rest. Listen to music or the sounds of nature.
8. Discover and grieve your associated losses. For every major loss there are usually a number of secondary losses. They could be financial or have to do with meaning, transportation, companionship, dreams of the future, sex, social interaction and more, all of which are now altered. Some secondary losses will not occur for years (a graduation, anniversary, etc.). Determine these losses, talk about them, and grieve them.
9. Start looking for ways to help others even as you grieve. This ancient piece of wisdom is well founded because by seeking to give of your time and treasure to others you are taking the focus off of yourself. Your love will heal and be returned.
10. Replenish your spiritual beliefs. Many mourners find comfort in prayer and being alone in nature to speak with their creator. Nature is great therapy and thinking of your faith and values in a beautiful setting can bring comfort, new awareness, and solace. It has long been known that the more you focus on a particular thing you create more of it. Create new insights from your spiritual beliefs and how you will allow them a more prominent place in your recovery process.
See your therapist/ counsellor