Kwa Nini Uchumba ni "Mtamu" Zaidi Kuliko Ndoa Kwa Walio Wengi?

Hata mimi sijaona ndoa ambayo haijapitia uchumba, unajua watu hatuelewi maana halisi ya uchumba...Uchumba ni maisha ambayo yanawakutanisha wawili kuweza kufahamiana kitabia,mila,desturi na familia ya kila mmoja wao kati yao ndio hupelekea mmoja wapo kuridhia na kupeleka posa..Lakini uchumba wa siku hizi ni uasherati mtupu!!!!

uchumba ni kipindi cha kampeni na kipindi cha vunavuna mwanamke akitaka chochote anapewa nna mwanaume akitaka chochote anapewa yani akinatofauti nakipindi cha kampeni sasa subiri uchaguzi ukiisha na mshindi kutangazwa na kupewa atimiliki yani utaamini kama ni yule yule uliyemchumbia atakama ajakukosea anaomba samahani leo kaingia kwenye ndoa anakosea live akuna samahani wala nn jeuri kwakwenda mbele mm naona kila kitu kimeingiliwa na siasa

Mimi naamini maisha ya uchumba ni mazuri mno mnaweza mkaa hata miaka 20 mkiwa wachumba lakini ukitangaza ndoa tu basi utamu wote unapotea na kuwa shubiri ni bora watu mkaishi kiuchumba uchumba tu ndoa mje mfunge uzeeni.

Fidel80 said:

Mimi naamini maisha ya uchumba ni mazuri mno mnaweza mkaa hata miaka 20 mkiwa wachumba lakini ukitangaza ndoa tu basi utamu wote unapotea na kuwa shubiri ni bora watu mkaishi kiuchumba uchumba tu ndoa mje mfunge uzeeni.

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yani bigup nimeipenda yani usitangaze ndoa atjituma kweli

drphone said:

yani bigup nimeipenda yani usitangaze ndoa atjituma kweli

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Yeah unajua hata adabu inakuwepo full heshima si anajua mda wowote utammwaga kwa hiyo lazima ajiheshimu.

Fidel80 said:

Mimi naamini maisha ya uchumba ni mazuri mno mnaweza mkaa hata miaka 20 mkiwa wachumba lakini ukitangaza ndoa tu basi utamu wote unapotea na kuwa shubiri ni bora watu mkaishi kiuchumba uchumba tu ndoa mje mfunge uzeeni.

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Si kweli inategemea kama wewe ulisearch for wife au mvhumba. Kwa wakristu tunashauriwa tuombe Mungu atupe mke/mume bora sasa wengi tunatafuta wachumba na mtawapta wachumba tu.

drphone said:

yani bigup nimeipenda yani usitangaze ndoa atjituma kweli

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Unajindanganya hii ni hasty generalization, kuna wenzio hata huo uchumba wanapata kila aina ya shida mpaka wengine wanapigwa either na she/he

Fidel80 said:

Yeah unajua hata adabu inakuwepo full heshima si anajua mda wowote utammwaga kwa hiyo lazima ajiheshimu.

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Rejea maelezo yangu ya awali hapo juu. Tafuta mtu wakuendana naetumia muda mwingi kujifunza kutoka kwake-mjuane. Natamani mje home kwangu mje kujifunza ndoa ya furaha.

In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick -- and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I've been there. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain't always pretty.

That may sound grim. But here's a secret: Sometimes it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love. Read on for some simple truths that will unlock the surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect, unstorybook, real-life love. ​

1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever? ​

When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy -- your soul mate -- you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, "This is so not what I signed up for." ​

Actually, it is.

2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined. ​

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naivete, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.

3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder). ​

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.

4. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together. ​

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I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into
my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns -- often. That is, until I learned a few things. ​

Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or ...

5. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right. ​

Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Genoveso and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it's also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don't just raise your voices; you raise real -- sometimes buried -- issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn't give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won't break us; they'll only make us stronger.​

6. You'll realize that you can only change yourself. ​

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]Ever seen the '80s sci-fi cult classic "Making Mr. Right?" When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich's android character into her personal version of the ideal man -- sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.

7. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of. ​

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There were clues when Genoveso and I were dating, especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, "I'll call you at 8." Then, just to try to trip me up, he'd call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn't figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me -- really and truly -- this stuff wouldn't happen. ​

I'd like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months.
Samahani sikupata mda wa kutafsiri
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Bwanayupamoja nanyi msiogope kuoa yote ni mapito

Pdidy said:

msiogope kuoa yote ni mapito

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Mmmh!! mengine wala sio mapito ila makao. Ingawa tunahitaji case-study za kutosha ili tuwe imara zaidi. Kuna mdau ameshajitoa kuwa case-study i think some of us need to learn there. Mkuu Pdidy nawe waweza kutoa casestudy

Kimbweka, kitalolo

these guys are very interested with the topic. Keep it up men

Fidel80 said:

Mimi naamini maisha ya uchumba ni mazuri mno mnaweza mkaa hata miaka 20 mkiwa wachumba lakini ukitangaza ndoa tu basi utamu wote unapotea na kuwa shubiri ni bora watu mkaishi kiuchumba uchumba tu ndoa mje mfunge uzeeni.

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Hii kali!

madule said:

Ni ipi hiyo Vangi??

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Ooh sorry kwa kuchelewa kujibu. Nakumbuka wakati wa uchumba nilikuwa namwona wa kawaida tu, na nilikuwa naona ni replacable (kwamba asipokuwa yeye naweza kutafuta mwingine). But baada ya kumrasimisha, I real feel about her, halafu na yeye ndo ananiheshimu na ananisikiliza kuliko alivyowahi kuniheshimu wakati mwingine. I think I enjoy my marriage more kuliko uchumba. Lakin sijui kama yatakuja badilika.

Mimi nafikiri niko tofauti kidogo kwani naona kwangu ndoa ni TAMU kuliko maisha ya uchumba. Yako mambo mazuri na matamu ambayo nisingeweza kumfanyia mke wangu au yeye kunifanyia wakati wa uchumba lakini leo tunafanyiana.

Hata hivyo ninaelewa point yako ambayo inatokana na watu kusahau ule upendo wao wa kwanza kwa wenzi wao. Kinachotakiwa ni kuwa unayemuoa/unayeolewa naye awe ni chaguo lako pekee la moyo wako na hakuna kumegana/kuonjana kabla ya kufunga ndoa. Huu utakuwa msingi mkubwa.

Ifike mahali hata kama Mungu angetoa ruhusa ya kuvunja ndoa zote na akaruhusu watu kuoana/kufunga ndoa upya na kutoa uhuru wa umchague umtakaye bado uwe RADHI na UTAMANI kuoana na huyo aliyekuwa wako.

Ninamshukuru Mungu kuwa kwa ndoa yangu ya miaka tisa bado mke wangu ni mzuri na mtamu kwangu na sitamani nimkose hata siku moja kwa hiyo siko miongoni mwa wale wanaotamani kukimbia ndoa.

Future Bishop said:

hakuna kumegana/kuonjana kabla ya kufunga ndoa. Huu utakuwa msingi mkubwa.

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Naomba waliotimiza haya kabla ya kuoana walist majina yao hapa itasaidia kujenga morali ya watu kuheshimu uchumba. Please kama una uhakika list your name here, sio lazima lakini nisipopata majina ya kuprove hypothesis zenu then itakuwa ngumu sisi ambao hatujaoa kuwa na uhakika na kile mnachokihubiri hapa

ndoa ni manunuzi ya utamu wa uchumba.

Arsene Wenger said:

ndoa ni manunuzi ya utamu wa uchumba.

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is it bra AW? please explain, umeoa bra?

Future Bishop said:

Mimi nafikiri niko tofauti kidogo kwani naona kwangu ndoa ni TAMU kuliko maisha ya uchumba. Yako mambo mazuri na matamu ambayo nisingeweza kumfanyia mke wangu au yeye kunifanyia wakati wa uchumba lakini leo tunafanyiana.

Hata hivyo ninaelewa point yako ambayo inatokana na watu kusahau ule upendo wao wa kwanza kwa wenzi wao. Kinachotakiwa ni kuwa unayemuoa/unayeolewa naye awe ni chaguo lako pekee la moyo wako na hakuna kumegana/kuonjana kabla ya kufunga ndoa. Huu utakuwa msingi mkubwa.

Ifike mahali hata kama Mungu angetoa ruhusa ya kuvunja ndoa zote na akaruhusu watu kuoana/kufunga ndoa upya na kutoa uhuru wa umchague umtakaye bado uwe RADHI na UTAMANI kuoana na huyo aliyekuwa wako.

Ninamshukuru Mungu kuwa kwa ndoa yangu ya miaka tisa bado mke wangu ni mzuri na mtamu kwangu na sitamani nimkose hata siku moja kwa hiyo siko miongoni mwa wale wanaotamani kukimbia ndoa.

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I am proudly confirming what you are saying. Sikukutana na mchumba wangu mpaka siku tunafunga ndoa na kwa bahati zaidi akawa mwali kweli! tofauti na mimi niliyewahi kutangatanga!

I have never regretted

marriage life is beautiful!