Lesson learned from Nyamayao and Nyumba Kubwa..........What are your Two cents on this ....!

[nyumba kubwa]

Haya mambo yamemkuta mama yetu na sisi tukasema labda tusiwe 21st century ladies; we wont go through what our mother was experiencing back then.

Ila ukishatambua kuwa watoto wamekuwa victims ni rahisi kuji controll.

Ilifika kipindi tulikuwa tunamchukia kabisa mama; tofauti na baba alikuwa very loving and friendly. Hajawahi hata kutupiga kibao. Sasa alikuwa ana mfrustrate mama; mama hasira anamalizia kwetu na kuonekana mbaya kwa watoto.

Cha hajabu ni kuwa baba yetu hakuwa violent lakini mama anadai eti ni heri kuwa na mume anayepiga kuliko baba yetu; eti ana gubu plus cheating.

usinikumbushe rafiki nilishapitia hiyo hali na mnyonge wangu alikuwa mwanangu nilikuwa nampiga hasa can u imagine a son of 3 yrs amekataa kunywa dawa unamtandika viboko vya haja sitaki kukumbuka jamani nani kaleta hii post ya machungu namna hii

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

tuvumilie matokeo yake tu,nahisi ukimpa heshima yake na kumpa nafasi ya kuwa mwanaume kenye family mambo mengine yatajiseti tu, mie pia naamini katika uvumilivu

Nani alikwambia kwenye ndoa kuna kuishi kwa matumaini eti uvumilie tu mambo mengine yatajiseti?? Wanawake wa type hii ndo wale wanaojifanyaga wanaujua sana uvumilivu, wanajidai kuvumilia kwa matumaini kuwa mume wake atabadilika na mwishowe wanaishia kuumia......HOPELESS!!! Hawa hata kuwasaidia waume zao inakuwaga tabu sana kwa sababu hata makosa (wayafanyayo waume zao) wao huwa wanaona ni kitu cha kawaida na ni haki ya mume yaani wanachokijali wao ni kumhudumia tu mume na kumpa heshima yake dah! Amka wewe la sivyo utapoteza muelekeo wa familia yako, utashindwa hata kumshauri mumeo vitu vizuri!!

 

[klorokwini]

Hivi kutokuvumilia manyanyaso kama vile kupigwa nako nikuingilia majukumu ya mume? Kutaka kufahamu ukweli pale kunapokuwa na hitilafu mfano mume anapochelewa/kurudi alfajiri/harudi kabisa nyumbani, hilo nalo ni kosa? Wamama wengi wa zamani walikuwa ni waoga na sio kwamba wote walikuwa wanayafurahia haya!! Tusidanganyane jamani, kuishi kwa ajili ya kumridhisha mtu au jamii ni kujiumiza nafsi tu tena kwa ulimwengu huu uliojaa shida na magonjwa yasiyotibika! La sivyo kina Angela watazidi kuongezeka na mahakama zisitoshe!

Sweetheart kipipi, isome post ya Sara kwa kituo sana utagundua uvumilivu inayoongelea na uvumilivu unaouzungumzia wewe ni tofauti kabisa.

 

[klorokwini]

Ahsante klorokwini, unajua tumekuwa vipofu na hizi elimu zetu tunazopata wanawake siku hizi, tunasahau mambo hayo hayaingiliani kabisa na maisha ya ndoa, hasa kwetu huku afrika, tuna aply mambo ya kiwestern ambayo yanawasuit wenyewe huko kwao,basi na matokeo yake tuvumilie matokeo yake tu,nahisi ukimpa heshima yake na kumpa nafasi ya kuwa mwanaume kenye family mambo mengine yatajiseti tu, mie pia naamini katika uvumilivu

Wee mrembo unanikuna kweli leo wallahi, nategemea kuanzisha sredi kutokana na muongozo wa hizi post zako mbili tukufu.
Big up JF queen

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Sweetheart kipipi, isome post ya Sara kwa kituo sana utagundua uvumilivu inayoongelea na uvumilivu unaouzungumzia wewe ni tofauti kabisa.

Nimeisoma na nimeelewa! Labda unieleweshe zaidi, queen wako sara alizungumzia uvumilivu upi? Otherwise, sina nyongeza!

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Wee mrembo unanikuna kweli leo wallahi, nategemea kuanzisha sredi kutokana na muongozo wa hizi post zako mbili tukufu.
Big up JF queen

Vipi, umekuja na mavuno ya kwenye kampeni kutoka kule Igunga?

 

[klorokwini]

Nimeisoma na nimeelewa! Labda unieleweshe zaidi, queen wako sara alizungumzia uvumilivu upi? Otherwise, sina nyongeza!

Nilijua utataka ufafanuzi zaidi na mbaya ni kwamba mida hii kichwa hakichaji kabisa yaani, lakini kesho nitakuja na mafaili yote kwenye hii sredi, kaa mkao wa kulala.

Vipi, umekuja na mavuno ya kwenye kampeni kutoka kule Igunga?

Igunga jamaa wameiba jenereta yetu, tumesitisha kampeni kwa zarura.

 

[The Boss]

mhhhhhhhhhh

 

[EMT]

Mercy - I don't want my boyfriend to go to jail; I love him

STICHES cover her once beautiful face, while pus seeps from her severely cut ear. Her beauty has been tattered, and she may never look the same again. Despite all the pain she's going through, 28-year-old Mercy Ng'uni is a woman in love, ready to forgive the man that almost killed her. Mercy, a Kanyama resident and a mother of three, narrates how her boyfriend severed her ear and sliced face with a bottle. "Nothing really happened for him to beat me up like this. He is my boyfriend and sometimes he spends nights at my place," says Mercy.

Mercy, a hairdresser by profession, narrated that on the fateful day, she knocked off later than her boyfriend name withheld, an issue she suspects may have triggered him to beat her. "On that day he came home at 18 : 00 hours and I came 30 minutes later. All was okay, we talked just as usual and he told me he was going to watch a soccer match at a nearby bar. 20 minutes later he came back. I wondered why he was back so early but he told me he couldn't watch the game," she says. "He later told me to prepare his clothes for the following morning and told me he wanted to sleep," narrated Mercy. "He asked if we had locked the door so that we could go to bed. He later asked for water, and I gave him water as he requested."

Mercy said the man kept tossing in bed and woke up around 23 : 00 hours, wanting to go outside as he claimed he was not feeling too well in the house. "I refused to open the door because it was late. Instead, I opened the window and we started chatting. As we were chatting, we both fell asleep," says Mercy. Mercy says around midnight, she felt someone hitting her with a bottle and she woke up thinking they had been attacked. "I just felt someone hitting me with a bottle and I immediately woke up and screamed that we had been attacked. At this point the bottle had broken and he told me that no one had attacked us and that he was going to kill me," she says.

Mercy narrates that her boyfriend started cutting her face with the bottle and cut her ear. "He started cutting my face while telling me that he was going to kill me, I screamed for help but the bedroom door was looked. I managed to grab his hand and that's how he dropped the bottle. My daughter then rushed to open the outer door and our landlord broke the bedroom door to rescue me," she says. Mercy says the landlord took them to the police station where the man was detained and she was taken to the clinic. "I went to Kanyama clinic but I was told there were no doctors to attend to me and I was referred to the UTH," she says.

Mercy says after she was attended to at University Teaching Hospital, she returned home only to find her ear on the bed. "I found my ear on the bed and I put it in the fridge so that I could have it stitched the following day," she says. Mercy says the following day she called a medical personnel from a private clinic, who followed her home to stitch the ear, but it could not hold. "That's how I lost my ear," Mercy says.

She says this is the second time her boyfriend has beaten her in the two years that they have been together. "The first time he beat me up, he bit me on the cheeks. My phone rang at night and as I was about to answer, the line cut and he got suspicious and started biting me on both cheeks. That was the first time ever he behaved violently," she says. Mercy says her boyfriend was released from police cell three days after the latest the incident and has been begging for forgiveness.

Despite all she has gone through, Mercy says she is more than willing to forgive him. "I don't want him to go to jail; I love him. All I want is for him to assist me financially to acquire good medical attention," she says. However, Mercy's brother Emmanuel just wants her boyfriend to face the law. "I just want him to face the law. If my sister wants him back, that's her problem. She should not come running to us next time," says Emmanuel. Mercy is just one of the many battered women that suffer silently in the name of love. Many have silently died while protecting ‘criminals' all in the name of love.

 

[Ave Ave Maria]

Ama kweli......nitalienzi penzi lako sitokuacha asilani!! Akina mercy poleni!

 

[Gaga]

najipa raha.....Gaga hebu fafanua hapo hasa ukizingatia we ni mke wa mtu.............

Mke wa mtu hajipi raha Bishanga, nahakikisha nakufanya vitu navopenda, kama kwenda out, kusafiri kufanya shopping, yaaan spend, spend spend... ndio mbadala wangu au ulidhani vipi mkuu

 

[Gaga]

Hahahaha Dada Mkubwa umenichekesha sana mpenzi .......eh unajilalia, ukiamka usiku kwenda chooni, kitu kipo pembeni! hahahah so bora tu halali nje eh!!?

Mie iko siku nilirudiwa saa kumi na mbili asubuhi. Bahati mbaya mie huwa naamka mapema so anafungua mlango anakutana na mie nataka kutoka nikaanike nguo zake!! Sikuhoji mpaka kesho! maana hata mie zile za leo karudi saa saba usiku, unauliza kulikoni mydia, hujibiwi sawia halafu kesho yake anarudi saa kumi alfajiri utaendelea tena kuuliza kweli? nadhani batani ya kuuliza ilishakufa.

Mie siulizi ataanza kunieleza mwenyewe akijisikia, na kama tulikuwa tunawasiliana na nikajua alikotoka na alikuwa na nani hapo story zinaweza kuwepo kwamba hawajambo hao, wanasemaje na kadhalika, nimeamua hiyo ndio style yangu na niko sawa kabisa

 

[Gaga]

Mwanajamii One kama ungekuwa umejiuliza hayo maswali, kuyafanyia uchunguzi na kuyatatolea maamuzi kabla hamjaoana wala usingekuwa unayauliza sasa simply because usingekubali kuolewa na mtu wa aina hiyo. Kama ulikuwa unajua kuwa ana hizo tabia, lakini ukaamua kuolewa naye hapo utakuwa kama vile ulikubali hayo yote. You can't complain afterwards kuwa tunda ulilonunua ni bovu wakati ulikuwa na uwezo wa kulichunguza vuzuri. Buyers be aware ina apply pia kwa wale wanaotafuta wachumba.

Wanasema prevention is always better than protection. Ili kuepukana na maswali kama haya baadae chukua precautions during selection. Sometimes tunafanya selections vizuri lakini tatizo kubwa tulilo nalo ni kwamba wakati mwanaume anaoa ana expect mwanamke asibadilike (awe vile vile), mwanamke nae ana expect mwanaume abadilke. Tatizo linakuja pale mwanamke anapobadilika au mwanaume asipobadilika. Kama mwanaume alikuwa na tabia hizo usitegeee atabadilika baada ya kuoa. Na kama alianza kuwa na hizo tabia baada ya kuolewa na wewe then kuna uwezekano mkubwa kuwa umechangia.

But the bottom line is that we pick the wrong person because we expect him/her to change or not to change after we're married. We pick the wrong person because we focus more on chemistry than on character. We pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. We choose the wrong person because we do not share a common life goals and priorities. We choose the wrong person because We get intimately involved too quickly.

We pick the wrong person because we do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. We pick the wrong person because we choose someone with whom we don't feel emotionally safe. We pick the wrong person because we don't put everything on the table. We pick the wrong person because we use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. We pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. We pick the wrong person because we're focus more on their materialism.

If we pick the right person wala hakutakuwa na haja ya kusimamiana kwa vidole gumba na kudemand explanations from our partners kutokana majibu ya kutoridhisha au kuwa mkali. Pia kuna kitu kingine kinaitwa compromise. Maisha ya ndoa bila compromise hayaendi.

EMT watu wanabadilika sana sana huwezi amini, unaishi nae muda mrefu sana kabla na baada ya ndoa anakuja kubadilika badae sana, kwako inakuwa vitu vipya kabisa, nakwambia huwezi amini, mbona mie wangu alibadilika baada ya miaka 12 kwenye ndoa, muda wote huo nilikuwa naishi paradiso, ghafla bin vuu, mabadilikko huyu utakuwa ulijua before hamjaoana kwamba atabadilika?

 

[Mbu]

Mercy - I don't want my boyfriend to go to jail; I love him

...nikiiangalia picha hii na story iliyopo, nahisi huyo mwanaume wakati akiufanya unyama huo alikuwa akitamka "nakuharibu hii sura unayoringia!"....

...upendo/mapenzi una tafsiri nyingi sana... hawa 'wanapendana' for wrong reasons, na mwisho wao lazima utakuwa mbaya sana.
wanawake/wanaume wengi wanaoface abuses maishani mwao msifikiri hawapo kwenye mapenzi na wenza wao... no wonder, wengi wa abusers wanakuwa ni wepesi wa kupiga magoti, kulia na kuomba msamaha.... definition yao ya mapenzi inatokana na psychological trauma walizopitia maishani mwao na jinsi wanavyopambana na post traumatic stress.

remember the topik; "msukule!" wa mapenzi...

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Ama kweli......nitalienzi penzi lako sitokuacha asilani!! Akina mercy poleni!

kipipi...........ongezea na Aksante MUNGU kwa kunipatia huyu awe wangu.

 

[Nyamayao]

MJ1 binafsi sera za Nyamayao siziafiki,I abhor violence in any form na kwa sababu yoyote.We ukinifumania bana niache,just dump me but don't touch me,sipendi kabisa mambo ya kutiana vidole machoni eti kisa umenifumania.Tumekutana ukubwani tukawa wote kwa raha zetu,ya nini kutiana vilema? For what , ili iweje?

loohhh...niemcheka sana.....Bishanga hizo ndio sera za nyamayao, huvi kufumania ni jambo dogo kumbe?..."sipendi kabisa mambo ya kutiana vidole machoni eti kisa umenifumania"...nikutie kidole machoni ukifanya kosa gani lingine babake?....yap! huyo ni nyamayao na sera zake, nikikufamia mpaka kieleweke ctapambana na hawara yako labda ajichomeke, naanza na wewe!

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

loohhh...niemcheka sana.....Bishanga hizo ndio sera za nyamayao, huvi kufumania ni jambo dogo kumbe?..."sipendi kabisa mambo ya kutiana vidole machoni eti kisa umenifumania"...nikutie kidole machoni ukifanya kosa gani lingine babake?....yap! huyo ni nyamayao na sera zake, nikikufamia mpaka kieleweke ctapambana na hawara yako labda ajichomeke, naanza na wewe!

Yaani wewe mdada, ndio nini unaitiwa ugonvi?? Ulikuwa wapi siku zote hizi, umepitwa na mengi mpenzi. Haya karibu tulikumiss sana.

 

[Mbu]

loohhh...niemcheka sana.....Bishanga hizo ndio sera za nyamayao, huvi kufumania ni jambo dogo kumbe?..."sipendi kabisa mambo ya kutiana vidole machoni eti kisa umenifumania"...nikutie kidole machoni ukifanya kosa gani lingine babake?....yap! huyo ni nyamayao na sera zake, nikikufamia mpaka kieleweke ctapambana na hawara yako labda ajichomeke, naanza na wewe!

...lol,....

nyamayao, kwani ukishajidhihirisha kwa macho hayo makosa yake/yao,...ukaamua kuidai talaka yako itakuwaje?
kuna ulazima wa kutiana ngeu na makovu?

kuna faida gani baada ya kumpa 'mkong'oto' mwenza wako, halafu ukirudi nyumbani unaanza tena mkanda na maji vuguvugu ama kumpeleka hospitali na gharama ukalipa mwenyewe? nauliza out of curiosity...

 

[Nyamayao]

Hahahaha Dada Mkubwa umenichekesha sana mpenzi .......eh unajilalia, ukiamka usiku kwenda chooni, kitu kipo pembeni! hahahah so bora tu halali nje eh!!?

Mie iko siku nilirudiwa saa kumi na mbili asubuhi. Bahati mbaya mie huwa naamka mapema so anafungua mlango anakutana na mie nataka kutoka nikaanike nguo zake!! Sikuhoji mpaka kesho! maana hata mie zile za leo karudi saa saba usiku, unauliza kulikoni mydia, hujibiwi sawia halafu kesho yake anarudi saa kumi alfajiri utaendelea tena kuuliza kweli? nadhani batani ya kuuliza ilishakufa.

wakati ule wa matatizo ye2 alikuwa hata akirudi asubuhi siulizi, na anakuta nimeshamuandalia kila kitu, alijishangaa mwenywe huyu mwanamke ni akili yake ama? kwasasa tupo sawa akinijia asubiuhi anajua kifuatacho! yeye anywe pombe zake akumbuke nyumbani na chakula ale hata kama kalewa vipi.

 

[Nyamayao]

...lol,....

nyamayao, kwani ukishajidhihirisha kwa macho hayo makosa yake/yao,...ukaamua kuidai talaka yako itakuwaje?
kuna ulazima wa kutiana ngeu na makovu?

kuna faida gani baada ya kumpa 'mkong'oto' mwenza wako, halafu ukirudi nyumbani unaanza tena mkanda na maji vuguvugu ama kumpeleka hospitali na gharama ukalipa mwenyewe? nauliza out of curiosity...

czungumzii mkong'oto na wala cwezi rusha ngumi/kupigizana kelele na wewe kama mume wangu mbele za watu(public) coz nitakuwa nakudhalilisha na haina sababu na aibu itakuwa yangu, kwenye ile ishu yangu ckufanya fujo bali nilienda kwa nia ya kumchukua tukamalizane mbele ya safari, ni yeye alieniona kwa mbali akatimuka akifuatiwa na hawara yake na hata kama acngetumia but 2kaelewana kwamba twende home then akanielewa hapo walaaa tungeenda kuyamalizia home(nadhani anajua mie kichwa maji akajua ntalianzisha).....hapo blue ctakuwa na muda wa kuomba/kudai talaka nitaondoka inifuate nyuma, na mpaka ifikie hapo aisee ntakuwa nimepambana haswaa, haombi mtu talaka hapa labda yeye alianzishe.....hahahaha!