Love vs Sex

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

KKN je unampenda mkeo?
Ndoa yako ilitokana na mapenzi au shinikizo?
Ni kitu gani kilikufanya ufunge naye ndoa?

Kazi za nyumbani zinachosha na zinapunguza munkari wa mapenzi hata kitandani. Kuwepo na watoto si sababu kubwa ya mapigo kupungua.

Hebu fikiria wote mnafanya kazi (Dar),
inabidi mama awahi kuamka kuwatayarisha watoto waende shule na kisha akutayarishie chai wewe.Akirudi kutoka kazini inabidi achakalike jikoni, awahudumie watoto, n.k, at the time anamaliza shughuli hizo ni usiku yuko hoi. (labda wakati huo wewe uko online JF au unasoma gazeti au unaangalia news).

Kutoka nje kwa kisingizio cha kubadili mboga ni hulka ya mtu. mbona kunastaili nyingi tu za kujamiiana, kama mtakuwa wa wazi na kuwa wabunifu mtabadili mboga wenyewe kwa wenyewe.

Wanaume wengi wana wivu wakiona wake zao wanajivinjari nje hata kama watakuwa wamewatelekeza.

Kaka Kasana, issue hapa sio mapenzi, naomba nieleweke sana kuwa mke wangu bado nampenda tena sana-(ref;kwenye main post nilichosema). Kilichobadilika ni our sex life ndo maana nalazimika kusaka vicheche vya one night stand now and then. Ukweli ni kwamba wengi hamtaki kuadmit kwamba ile sex life ya mwanzo wakati hamjapata watoto ni tofauti kabisa na baada ya watoto, mkeo alikua kimodo enzi hizo- mapigo yote anakwenda, nikimkunja hivi anakunjika lakini baada ya kuzaa kawa bonge- we are limited in styles na kuna vitu nilivyokuwa naenjoy enzi zile lakini sasa hivi hawezi kunipa, na pia enzi hizo energy yake ilikua babu kubwa lakini siku hizi saa zote kacho, nikitaka hadi nibembeleze....

 

[Ledwin]

Kana,kuhusu kuchoka ,mpunguzie majukumu,fanya wewe kama unauwezo,inawezekana kazi anazofanya ni nyingi,na ikiwezekana kama anaendelea kuchoka muone daktari pia,kama yuko fiti ni majukumu tu basi msaidie na mset siku maalumu ya kuburudishana.KAMA SIO HIVYO HATA YEYE HUKO PIA ANABURUDISHWA NDUGU SO ANAONA NI GHASIA ,

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Kana,kuhusu kuchoka ,mpunguzie majukumu,fanya wewe kama unauwezo,inawezekana kazi anazofanya ni nyingi,na ikiwezekana kama anaendelea kuchoka muone daktari pia,kama yuko fiti ni majukumu tu basi msaidie na mset siku maalumu ya kuburudishana.KAMA SIO HIVYO HATA YEYE HUKO PIA ANABURUDISHWA NDUGU SO ANAONA NI GHASIA ,

Mimi bwana I think its biological, libido inashuka jinsi watoto wanvyoongezeka kwa wanawake unabadilika, alafu sio uchovu tu coz hata mwili wa mwanamke na fitness inapungua,zamani mchezo ulikua unapigwa all night long lakini sasa hivi kabao kamoja tu- its over, see you after seven days! Hawezi tena ku cope na moto wangu.

 

[BAK]

Mimi bwana I think its biological, libido inashuka jinsi watoto wanvyoongezeka kwa wanawake unabadilika, alafu sio uchovu tu coz hata mwili wa mwanamke na fitness inapungua,zamani mchezo ulikua unapigwa all night long lakini sasa hivi kabao kamoja tu- its over, see you after seven days! Hawezi tena ku cope na moto wangu.

Libido inashuka kwa sababu ya kuchoka sana na wala siyo kwa kuwa na watoto wengi. Mkeo anafanya kazi hivyo akirudi nyumbani anakutana nam majukumu mengine ya nyumbani kama kusafisha nyumba, kupika, kuosha watoto, kufua na sia ajabu kupiga pasi. Chukua majukumu ya kuosha watoto wale ambao si wachanga, kusafisha nyumba, kufua (kama mna mashine ya kufulia) na pia kupiga pasi. Pia mwambie mwenzio kwamba ameongezeka kimwili na kama ikiwezekana mfanye wote mazoezi hapo nyumbani ili apunguze at least 20 pounds. Msiogopane, hili tatizo linaathiri ndoa yenu lazima muwe wakweli ili muimarishe ndoa yenu hasa kama wote bado mnapendana. Hakuna kisichowezekana katika kuboresha maisha ya ndoa. It can be done just play your part...🙂

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Bubu mbona lakini hujanijibu kama uko kwenye huu msala wa ndoa? Usije ukawa unanipa ushauri wa kufikirika tu,its really hard to say things like- "umenenepa sana bwana" au "mimi siku hizi si enjoy", wengi tunapretend tu as if everything is OK, ukijitia uko wazi ndio mwanzo wa suspicion, thats why I chose to go for other alternatives. Nikichuja nje, mke wangu hata simsumbui usiku ndo kwanza namuambia " Najua umechoka mpenzi,pumzika tu" and I guess she loves me more for that. Halafu mimi kazi za ndani napiga kama kawa, nahisi kazi ya ofisini kwake ndo inamchosha zaidi, sasa nimuambie aache tutaishije? Kamshahara kangu kenyewe kiduchu.

 

[Tanzania 1]

Naamini wanaume wengi kama mimi, if given an option, tungependelea ku have sex with more than just one person wakati tukiwa kwenye ndoa zetu. Sijui ni tamaa au ni ulafi lakini kila ukitembea barabarani unakutana na majaribu and we are so weak.I think its biological!!! In contrast, wanawake wengi wanakasumba ya ku attach emotions zao kwenye tendo la sex, for majority hadi 'akupe' ujue kuna viji feelings na emotions involved. (I understand ni tofauti kwa wazungu na wale 'waafrika wazungu').

Hi, brother!

Those majaribu are, and will be, there to be confronted, and hence conquered. There are of various sorts; hata ufisadi ni zao la kushindwa na "majaribu". Why then should we blame those wafisadi if everybody faced by temptation, of this or that sort, should dwell in his/her feelings or emotions, as you did and do?!
If you do something behind your loved one's back, how can you claim that you love her? Unless your "love" is driven by your emotions, which are not part of you, and therefore, can be restrined. If you have the will, you'll know how. And you have a good reference point for your "new" life; 1st Jan, 2008.

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Hi, brother!

Those majaribu are, and will be, there to be confronted, and hence conquered. There are of various sorts; hata ufisadi ni zao la kushindwa na "majaribu". Why then should we blame those wafisadi if everybody faced by temptation, of this or that sort, should dwell in his/her feelings or emotions, as you did and do?!
If you do something behind your loved one's back, how can you claim that you love her? Unless your "love" is driven by your emotions, which are not part of you, and therefore, can be restrined. If you have the will, you'll know how. And you have a good reference point for your "new" life; 1st Jan, 2008.

Common Mtanzania, hebu check hiyo video aliyopost NYOKANHYILU jana umsikie Eddie Murphy akikupa ukweli, thats what im talking about. My love for my wife will never change even if I sleep with thousands of other women, I can restran my emotions and feelings, as I said before- I treat it as a mechanical process.

 

[Kigeugeu]

Cheating iko kote toka zama za mababu! Kuna ufafiti umefanyika Norway, Sweden na Denmark- 2006 over 50% of couples reported to have cheated! Tanzania ni kawaida tu- ukiona mama amepandishwa cheo au anapata safari nyingi zaidi za nje na mikoani au ana alowance kubwa zaidi- tambua tu bosi amempenda na bosi pia anafaidi!

Muhimu ni muhimu kuongea wazi juu ya haya mambo- na kutumia condom- kama unajua umaedanyanga- na hujatumia condom basi usimpe mwenzako penzi! Nenda kwanza ukapime!

mke au mme wa kuiba ni mtamu sana- ila kinga mbele!

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Cheating iko kote toka zama za mababu! Kuna ufafiti umefanyika Norway, Sweden na Denmark- 2006 over 50% of couples reported to have cheated! Tanzania ni kawaida tu- ukiona mama amepandishwa cheo au anapata safari nyingi zaidi za nje na mikoani au ana alowance kubwa zaidi- tambua tu bosi amempenda na bosi pia anafaidi!

Muhimu ni muhimu kuongea wazi juu ya haya mambo- na kutumia condom- kama unajua umaedanyanga- na hujatumia condom basi usimpe mwenzako penzi! Nenda kwanza ukapime!

mke au mme wa kuiba ni mtamu sana- ila kinga mbele!

Thats my man! huu ndio ukweli, so many people are doing it lakini hatutaki ku admit,ni kitu ambacho kitaendelea kuwepo, kinachotakiwa hapa ni tudiscuss harm minimisation strategies, how we can enjoy our marriage lives without adversely affecting our partners and kids, if any.

 

[Richard]

Kaka Kasana, issue hapa sio mapenzi, naomba nieleweke sana kuwa mke wangu bado nampenda tena sana-(ref;kwenye main post nilichosema). Kilichobadilika ni our sex life ndo maana nalazimika kusaka vicheche vya one night stand now and then. Ukweli ni kwamba wengi hamtaki kuadmit kwamba ile sex life ya mwanzo wakati hamjapata watoto ni tofauti kabisa na baada ya watoto, mkeo alikua kimodo enzi hizo- mapigo yote anakwenda, nikimkunja hivi anakunjika lakini baada ya kuzaa kawa bonge- we are limited in styles na kuna vitu nilivyokuwa naenjoy enzi zile lakini sasa hivi hawezi kunipa, na pia enzi hizo energy yake ilikua babu kubwa lakini siku hizi saa zote kacho, nikitaka hadi nibembeleze....

Kana, jitahidi wewe na mkeo mtafakari mpo wapi kimapenzi. Kuna "tips" nyingi tu ndugu yangu unaweza kutafuta ili mambo yawe mazuri nyumbani tu!

Mimi bado sijaoa lakini nipo mbioni kufukukuzia pesa ya mahali na nioe soon, si unajua tena baadhi ya makabila bongo?. Wakiishajua tu mkwe mtarajiwa anatokea ng'ambo basi dau hupanda kwa kasi.

Nafikiri moja ya "tips" hizo ni kutafuta muda wenu nyie wawili tu na pahala pa faragha bila kuwepo watoto wala nani.

Kwa kuwa maisha ya UK yamejaa "stress" mnaweza kuwaomba ndugu, jamaa au marafiki kushinda na watoto wenu nanyi mkaenda "vacation" labda Holiday In ya mji mwingine au hoteli na huko mnakuwa na nafasi ya kukumbushana mambo mengi tu na kuona wapi pana kasoro.

Kwa hio mnakuwa mnapanga kwamba kila mwezi au kila baada ya wiki mbili ni "nokies" tu na si vinginevyo.

Pili, nafikiri suala la "sex" kwa wanandoa sio lazima liwe chumbani tu. Mnaweza kubadili "venue" iwe jikoni, sebuleni na hata bafuni "provided" watoto hawapo na mida hiyo kupo kimya.

Nafikiri akina mama nao wanapenda uwepesi wa mwanamme katika kudhibiti "resilience" ili kuleta burudani lakini kama ikiwa baada ya ndoa mzee uzito unaongezeka kutokana na maanjam na vyakula vitamu na mama nae ku-"gain more weight" ni dhahiri kwamba katika "department" ya "orgasim" kutakuwa na "problem" iwe mwanamme au mwanamke.

Halafu nanihino inataka kujiandaa mjomba. Huwezi ukatokea mzigo uwe ni box au kazi zingine ngumu halafu mara tu unaingia uwanjani, unaweza kufa, kwa hiyo inabidi unaingia katika bafu ambayo mama ameikosha kwa hali ya juu na ameishajaza maji na sabuni ile ya foam halafu mzee unarelax mle ndani kama nusu saa hivi.

Baada ya pale unapata msosi wako na unatulia (wakati huo mama nae anakuwa alikwishajiandaa). Na msosi wenyewe usiwe mwingi uwe wa kawaida tu ambao unaweza kuleta tija kwa mwili katika kutengeneza habari ya watoto.

Tatu, ni kuhusu kuambizana kwamba kila mtu kati yenu anapenda nini. inabidi muwe free na kama kweli mlioana kwa hiari kila mmoja wenu atafurahia ndoa na mapenzi yenu. Offcourse kuna mambo ya kuelekezana wapi penye raha na nini.

Ukumbuke sex ipo ya aina mbili, ile ya starehe tu na ile ya kutafuta watoto lakini katika mapenzi inabidi muwe free kukubaliana ni wakati gani wa kutafuta watoto au wa kustarehe tu.

Lakini kama kweli unampa mamaa haki yake kisawasawa na yeye akawa anakua wa kwanza kufikia kileleni kabla yako halafu wewe ndio ufuate, basi wewe na yeye ni milele.

Mwisho ni kwamba nafikiri ndoa yoyote yenye imani na maelewano inalipa sana.

 

[Kasana]

Kaka Kasana,

KNN hiyo jinsia siyo yenyewe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPlXex4_KkQ&feature=related

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Nimekua najiuliza siku zote kwanini relationship nyingi zinavunjika eti kwa kuwa mwanaume ame have sex na mwanamke mwingine? Ndugu zetu wa kike eti wanaamini kuwa uki sex na mwanamke mwingine ni kwamba huwapendi wao tena na hapa ndio ubishi wangu ulipo leo.

Wanaume, tofauti na wanawake, tuna uwezo wa kutofautisha sex na love. I can just have SEX with a woman and treat it as a mechanical process- just bang, bang, bang and off I go- without having to indulge my emotions at all, just for the sake of relieving myself. Nikirudi nyumbani kwa mke wangu- I make LOVE to her- I put my brain, heart and soul into it. Mwanaume anaweza kuwa kiwembe ile mbaya lakini at the end of the day anakuwa na mwanamke mmoja mbaye ndio roho yake.

Naamini wanaume wengi kama mimi, if given an option, tungependelea ku have sex with more than just one person wakati tukiwa kwenye ndoa zetu. Sijui ni tamaa au ni ulafi lakini kila ukitembea barabarani unakutana na majaribu and we are so weak.I think its biological!!! In contrast, wanawake wengi wanakasumba ya ku attach emotions zao kwenye tendo la sex, for majority hadi 'akupe' ujue kuna viji feelings na emotions involved. (I understand ni tofauti kwa wazungu na wale 'waafrika wazungu').

I know most of you will be like "What on eath is KS on about today?" Im in trouble this weekend bse my wife has found out that I slept with someone when she was away, na najitahidi kumuelezea kwamba it was just a one night stand,I cant even remember the girl's name, it absolutely meant nothing to me-(JUST SEX) and she (My wife) is still the one I would die for.Sijui nifanye nini ili nieleweke.

At the same time, don't put anything past her. She may be creeping on you too. And you find that out you probably will flip out and lose it. Mkuki kwa nguruwe kwa binadamu weeeee

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Kana, jitahidi wewe na mkeo mtafakari mpo wapi kimapenzi. Kuna "tips" nyingi tu ndugu yangu unaweza kutafuta ili mambo yawe mazuri nyumbani tu!

Mimi bado sijaoa lakini nipo mbioni kufukukuzia pesa ya mahali na nioe soon, si unajua tena baadhi ya makabila bongo?. Wakiishajua tu mkwe mtarajiwa anatokea ng'ambo basi dau hupanda kwa kasi.

Nafikiri moja ya "tips" hizo ni kutafuta muda wenu nyie wawili tu na pahala pa faragha bila kuwepo watoto wala nani.

Kwa kuwa maisha ya UK yamejaa "stress" mnaweza kuwaomba ndugu, jamaa au marafiki kushinda na watoto wenu nanyi mkaenda "vacation" labda Holiday In ya mji mwingine au hoteli na huko mnakuwa na nafasi ya kukumbushana mambo mengi tu na kuona wapi pana kasoro.

Kwa hio mnakuwa mnapanga kwamba kila mwezi au kila baada ya wiki mbili ni "nokies" tu na si vinginevyo.

Pili, nafikiri suala la "sex" kwa wanandoa sio lazima liwe chumbani tu. Mnaweza kubadili "venue" iwe jikoni, sebuleni na hata bafuni "provided" watoto hawapo na mida hiyo kupo kimya.

Nafikiri akina mama nao wanapenda uwepesi wa mwanamme katika kudhibiti "resilience" ili kuleta burudani lakini kama ikiwa baada ya ndoa mzee uzito unaongezeka kutokana na maanjam na vyakula vitamu na mama nae ku-"gain more weight" ni dhahiri kwamba katika "department" ya "orgasim" kutakuwa na "problem" iwe mwanamme au mwanamke.

Halafu nanihino inataka kujiandaa mjomba. Huwezi ukatokea mzigo uwe ni box au kazi zingine ngumu halafu mara tu unaingia uwanjani, unaweza kufa, kwa hiyo inabidi unaingia katika bafu ambayo mama ameikosha kwa hali ya juu na ameishajaza maji na sabuni ile ya foam halafu mzee unarelax mle ndani kama nusu saa hivi.

Baada ya pale unapata msosi wako na unatulia (wakati huo mama nae anakuwa alikwishajiandaa). Na msosi wenyewe usiwe mwingi uwe wa kawaida tu ambao unaweza kuleta tija kwa mwili katika kutengeneza habari ya watoto.

Tatu, ni kuhusu kuambizana kwamba kila mtu kati yenu anapenda nini. inabidi muwe free na kama kweli mlioana kwa hiari kila mmoja wenu atafurahia ndoa na mapenzi yenu. Offcourse kuna mambo ya kuelekezana wapi penye raha na nini.

Ukumbuke sex ipo ya aina mbili, ile ya starehe tu na ile ya kutafuta watoto lakini katika mapenzi inabidi muwe free kukubaliana ni wakati gani wa kutafuta watoto au wa kustarehe tu.

Lakini kama kweli unampa mamaa haki yake kisawasawa na yeye akawa anakua wa kwanza kufikia kileleni kabla yako halafu wewe ndio ufuate, basi wewe na yeye ni milele.

Mwisho ni kwamba nafikiri ndoa yoyote yenye imani na maelewano inalipa sana.

Richard
Asante sana mnazi mwenzangu wa gunners kwa ushauri wako but do you really think after 10 years in my marriage and three kids- kuna lolote sijawahi kufanya au kusikia katika hayo yote unayoniambia?You just need to be there to understand what im on about. Goodluck na plan zako za ndoa but im sure baada ya miaka kadhaa utanitumia PM ukisema " Nakumbuka, ulisema Kana..."

 

[Quemu]

KKN

Ninakuelewa kabisa unachoongea.

Mimi pia nimeoa, tena karibuni tu. Tatizo langu mimi sio kulala nje, tatizo langu ni kuwa na marafiki wa kike wengi out there. Ninapenda kuchat na kuflirt na wanawake, but I never tried to make any advances...kwa hiyo kila kitu kinaishia kwenye simu na computer tu. Juzi tu nimebambwa na mke wangu nikiwa nachat na msichana ambaye ameshakuwa a subject in the past. My wife always never understands why I entertain other women. Unajua suala linalo ni push mimi ni ubizee na attitude ya mke wangu. She is such a workholic, plus yuko uptight mno. Sasa unakuta muda mwingi nakuwa nyumbani peke yangu, na hata yeye akirudi anakuwa amechoka mno kiasi kwamba hataki hata kupiga stori, let alone kuguswa. Akirudi, yeye anachojali ni kukimbilia TV na kuangalia program zake alizozi TIVO wakati hayupo. Mpaka sasa ninaamini nimekuwa so addicted na internet kwa sababu she never has enough time for me...Kwa hiyo naishia kuwa lonely, na matokeo yake ndio hayo ya kutafuta watu wa kuchat nao. Na kama unavyojua, unlike women, wanaume huwaga hatuna cha kuongea wenyewe kwa wenyewe. Kwanza I always find it weird kuchat na mwanaume mwenzangu. So guess who do I enjoy to chat with?....women, women, women

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

KKN

Ninakuelewa kabisa unachoongea.

Mimi pia nimeoa, tena karibuni tu. Tatizo langu mimi sio kulala nje, tatizo langu ni kuwa na marafiki wa kike wengi out there. Ninapenda kuchat na kuflirt na wanawake, but I never tried to make any advances...kwa hiyo kila kitu kinaishia kwenye simu na computer tu. Juzi tu nimebambwa na mke wangu nikiwa nachat na msichana ambaye ameshakuwa a subject in the past. My wife always never understands why I entertain other women. Unajua suala linalo ni push mimi ni ubizee na attitude ya mke wangu. She is such a workholic, plus yuko uptight mno. Sasa unakuta muda mwingi nakuwa nyumbani peke yangu, na hata yeye akirudi anakuwa amechoka mno kiasi kwamba hataki hata kupiga stori, let alone kuguswa. Akirudi, yeye anachojali ni kukimbilia TV na kuangalia program zake alizozi TIVO wakati hayupo. Mpaka sasa ninaamini nimekuwa so addicted na internet kwa sababu she never has enough time for me...Kwa hiyo naishia kuwa lonely, na matokeo yake ndio hayo ya kutafuta watu wa kuchat nao. Na kama unavyojua, unlike women, wanaume huwaga hatuna cha kuongea wenyewe kwa wenyewe. Kwanza I always find it weird kuchat na mwanaume mwenzangu. So guess who do I enjoy to chat with?....women, women, women

Its just a matter of time tu, very soon tutakua tunaongea lugha moja, send me a PM kwa ushauri just in case you decide to translate your theories into practice. And for the records, sijawahi lala nje, sijui umekatoa wapi hako kakipande.

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

KNN hiyo jinsia siyo yenyewe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPlXex4_KkQ&feature=related

Many apologies dada, and thanks.

 

[Quemu]

And for the records, sijawahi lala nje, sijui umekatoa wapi hako kakipande.

Kulala nje nilikuwa namaanisha kunaniii nje ya ndoa. Naona nimejikwaa kwenye lugha yetu hapo. Samahani kama nimekukwaza!!!

 

[Kana-Ka-Nsungu]

Kulala nje nilikuwa namaanisha kunaniii nje ya ndoa. Naona nimejikwaa kwenye lugha yetu hapo. Samahani kama nimekukwaza!!!

Samahani hapo kaka, naona vijinahau vyaanza kunitoweka, nilikachukulia hako kapande kama kalivyo kaka.

 

[BAK]

Bubu mbona lakini hujanijibu kama uko kwenye huu msala wa ndoa? Usije ukawa unanipa ushauri wa kufikirika tu,its really hard to say things like- "umenenepa sana bwana" au "mimi siku hizi si enjoy", wengi tunapretend tu as if everything is OK, ukijitia uko wazi ndio mwanzo wa suspicion, thats why I chose to go for other alternatives. Nikichuja nje, mke wangu hata simsumbui usiku ndo kwanza namuambia " Najua umechoka mpenzi,pumzika tu" and I guess she loves me more for that. Halafu mimi kazi za ndani napiga kama kawa, nahisi kazi ya ofisini kwake ndo inamchosha zaidi, sasa nimuambie aache tutaishije? Kamshahara kangu kenyewe kiduchu.

Mimi ubachela nimeuvua miaka mingi na bado tunapendana utafikiri tulioana jana...🙂 na pia tuna watoto. Ni mara chache sana kukuta ndoa ya muda mrefu isiyokuwa na matatizo lakini hakuna tatizo lisiloweza kutatuliwa na wote mkaridhika. Mke wangu ana wivu sana lakini tunaongea kila kitu bila kusaza na nadhani hali imesaidia sana katika kuimarisha ndoa yetu...wengine wasiotujua huwa wakituona kwenye maparty wanadhani ni newly wed...🙂 lakini tumeshakata miaka kibao and we're still in love and we are very happy about our sex life thanks to our openness to each other.

 

[BAK]

KKN

Ninakuelewa kabisa unachoongea.

Mimi pia nimeoa, tena karibuni tu. Tatizo langu mimi sio kulala nje, tatizo langu ni kuwa na marafiki wa kike wengi out there. Ninapenda kuchat na kuflirt na wanawake, but I never tried to make any advances...kwa hiyo kila kitu kinaishia kwenye simu na computer tu. Juzi tu nimebambwa na mke wangu nikiwa nachat na msichana ambaye ameshakuwa a subject in the past. My wife always never understands why I entertain other women. Unajua suala linalo ni push mimi ni ubizee na attitude ya mke wangu. She is such a workholic, plus yuko uptight mno. Sasa unakuta muda mwingi nakuwa nyumbani peke yangu, na hata yeye akirudi anakuwa amechoka mno kiasi kwamba hataki hata kupiga stori, let alone kuguswa. Akirudi, yeye anachojali ni kukimbilia TV na kuangalia program zake alizozi TIVO wakati hayupo. Mpaka sasa ninaamini nimekuwa so addicted na internet kwa sababu she never has enough time for me...Kwa hiyo naishia kuwa lonely, na matokeo yake ndio hayo ya kutafuta watu wa kuchat nao. Na kama unavyojua, unlike women, wanaume huwaga hatuna cha kuongea wenyewe kwa wenyewe. Kwanza I always find it weird kuchat na mwanaume mwenzangu. So guess who do I enjoy to chat with?....women, women, women

US divorce rate ni kubwa sana kutokana na mambo kama haya. Mke au mume anakuwa workholik kiasi ambacho akirudi nyumbani yuko hoi bi taabani. Wanaume (ambao wake zao hawafanyi kazi) hudhani kwamba wake zao hufurahia hali hii kwa sababu wanawaprovide na kila kitu. Huyu (mke au mume ) anakuwa neglected katika nyanja za mapenzi na hivyo kunakuwa na kutoelewana. Na kila mtu katika ndoa hizi anajiona yuko right. Anayelalamika kwamba amekuwa neglected na mwenzie katika mapenzi na yule anayemwambia mwenzie nimechoka sijisikii kufanya lolote.

Mwanamke/Mwanaume huyu hyu aliyechoka kama angekuwa na girlfriend/boyfriend ambaye hawaishi pamoja angekuwa tayari kukutana naye kwenda outing etc pamoja na kuwa kachoka. Nadhani kuna tabia ya baadhi ya binadamu mara wanapooa au kuolewa kuona kwamba hakuna haja ya kutafuta muda (quality time) ya kuwa pamoja na mwenzie. Utaona watu walipokuwa girlfriend na boyfrind watafanya kila wanachoweza kuwa pamoja kwa masaa mengi tu at least 4 or 5 days a week pamoja na kuwa wote wanafanya kazi. Wakishaoana tu basi, shughuli zinaanza.

QM huna haja ya kuwa mpweke bro. Kama sikosei mkeo ni Mtanzania. Mwambie jinsi unavyokosa raha kwa yeye kuwa workholic na akirudi ana muda wa kuangalia TV kwa masaa chungu nzima lakini hana muda na wewe na hii inaweza kuleta kutoelewana na hata kupunguza mapenzi kati yenu. Lazima muongee nini mfanye ili kuondoa hali hii.