Part Eight A :If you put on my shoes, you won't walk.
[emoji3064]It's not easy to understand it son.
[emoji126] Find a girl,
[emoji183] Marry,
[emoji1284]Settle down.
1999
Niliumia sana nilipo pewa taarifa zile, nikakumbuka maneno yake wiki tatu nyuma, nikajiuliza ina maana mzee alijua sitamuona tena? jambo lile lilinihudhunisha sana.
Dad, you know I loved you,
why didn't you tell me you were leaving, that I wouldn't ever see you again.
Why did you leave without saying goodbye,
why did you not wait to see your grandchildren, so that you could have tea with them as you told me?
Dad, I got millions of questions for you, but you're gone.
Hopefully we'll see each other again.[emoji3064] It's your last Edson..
Song: Father and Son
Artist: Cat Stevens
Album: Tea for the Tillerman
Genres: Alternative/Indie, Children's Music, Pop, Rock, Folk
[Father:]
It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy
I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found something going on
But take your time, think a lot
Why, think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not
[Son:]
How can I try to explain, cause when I do he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go
[Father:]
It's not time to make a change
(Away, away, away)
Just sit down, take it slowly
You're still young, that's your fault
(I know)
There's so much you have to go through
(I have to make this decision)
Find a girl, settle down
(Alone)
If you want you can marry
Look at me, (No) I am old, but I'm happy
[Son:]
All the times that I cried
(Decision, decision, decision)
Keeping all the things I knew inside
It's hard (Why must)
But it's harder to ignore it
(You go and make this decision)
If they were right, I'd agree
(Alone?)
But it's them they know not me
Now there's a way and I know
That I have to go away
I know I have to go
*****
Niliingia Dar baada ya siku 3 za taarifa ya kifo, nilipokelewa na Rosemary akiwa kavimba macho kwa kulia.
Kaka na shemeji walikuwa Arusha kuanda mazishi ya mzee.
Siku hiyo jioni niliondoka na Rosemary wangu kwenda Arusha. Tulikuta maandalizi ya msingi yamefanyika, mazishi yalipangwa yawe kesho yake, nilisubiriwa mimi tu.
Kesho yake jumanne, taratibu za ibada zilianza, kisha maziko. Tulimzika baba hapo nyumbani.
Muda wote tangu tumefika msibani, Rosemary alikuwa na mama muda wote. Alimhudumia kwa kila jambo na kwa upendo, heshima na utulivu mkubwa.
Baada ya kumaliza msiba, mama alikuwa na hali ngumu sana kwa kuondokewa na mpendwa wake.
Tulifanya kikao, Edson, Edwin, Edith, Antonia na Rose kama familia. Nikatumia nafasi hiyo kumtambulisha Rosemary (kama rafiki sio mchumba, kuna Violet pia) kwa mama, alimpenda sana maana ameshapata huduma yake.
Kuhusu mali kaka alifata kila neno alilosema baba siku ile, nilikabidhiwa jukumu la kumwangalia mama, nikapewa nyumba za Arusha kuwa chini yangu kama mwangalizi.
(baba alisema tusiangalia mali bali undugu).
Nilipewa uwangalizi wa mali za familia kwa 70% kaka akasimamia 30%.
Nyumba tuliyokuwa tunakaa, shamba la migomba, nyumba za wapangaji, shamba la njiro vilibaki chini ya uwangalizi waangu.
Kaka alichuka jukumu la kuangalia mifugo na mashamba yaliyokuwa mkoa '[emoji119]', pamoja na nyumba ya pale tabata bima karibu na '[emoji119]'. Yeye alikuwa amejenga kigamboni na ana shamba kibada.
Rosemary aliondoka na kaka na shemeji yangu, akarudi kumalizia masomo yake, alikuwa mwaka wa mwisho. Mimi nilibaki na mama.
***
Nilianza kusimamia biashara za mama, maana hakuwa sawa kisaikolojia na kiafya. Baada ya wiki 2, nilipata wasaa wa kumweleza mama kilichojiri katika safari yangu Finland.
Mama alikubaliana na mambo yote isipokuwa mimi kuishi ufin, aliniambia anapenda nimuoe Rosemary maana ana tabia njema.
Kuhusu Violet alisema naweza kupata shida nikiwa ufin nikakosa msaada maana sina ndugu kule. Na kwa mazingira yalivyo, inamaana, Violet anaesimamia biashara za familia, hawezi kuja kuishi Arusha kisa ndoa. Mpaka hapo Rosemary akapata 95% toka kwa mama.
Kutokana na maneno ya baba kuhusu kumtunza mama, kaka baada ya kikao cha familia alikumbushia takwa la baba kuhusu mama, leo tena mama anamchagua Rosemary ambae ni masikini kwao, anamkata Violet mwenye pesa na nina chance ya kuishi ulaya.
Sikutaka kwenda kinyume na mapendekezo ya wazazi wangu, tena nilikuwa makini na maneno ya mama maana mzee aliniacha kimasihara tu, sikutaka itokee tena kwa mama bila mimi kuwepo.'
Song: It's Not Easy
Album: House of Exile
Artist: Lucky Dube
Released: 1991
Genre: Reggae
Uuuhhh! yeaahh haahh ahh
Lord of mercy!
I remember the day I called mama on the telephone
I told her mama I'm getting married, I could hear her voice
On the other side of the telephone, she was smiling
And she asked me a question that I proudly answered
She said, "Son did you take time to know her?"
I said mama she's the best but today it hurts me so
To go back to mama and say mama I'm getting divorced
Oh I'm getting divorced
This choice I made didn't work out
The way I thought it would
This choice I made. It hurts me so mama,
This choice i made, didnt work out the way i thought it would, this choice of mine oh!
Mama said me.
It's not easy to understand it son
But I hope you'll make it, you'll be happy again. 2x
I remember in church, when the preacher man read the scriptures
You looked so beautiful, so beautiful and so innocent
I did not know that behind that beauty
Lies the true colors that will destroy me in the near future
This choice I made didn't work out to be what i thought it be
Oh!, mama
This choice i made didnt work out the way i thought it would now am hurting.
I remember when I held you
By the hand preacher man read the scriptures
Putting words in your mouth.
Maybe what the preacher man said
Was not something that was within you.
Now I know what they mean when they say
"Beautiful woman is another man's play thing"
Oh! Lord! I'm hurting now
This choice I made didn't work out
The way I thought it would, this choice of mine oh!
Mama said to me
It's not easy to understand it son
But I hope you'll make it, you'll be happy again.
***
Part Eight B : :If you put on my shoes, you won't walk.
[emoji1284]You're going to be a daddy.
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