Mtume Muhammad: Jamii isipotoshwe; Jua huzama katika Chemchemu ya matope Meusi na Mazito

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Wewe si umetafsiriwa tu hiyo bible yako , kila dhehebu lina tafsiri yake , wasome wakristo wenzako hawa uje na hoja usituletee maandishi kama uharo wa PUNDA wa Ezekiel 23:20 😛😛😛😛
 

allah kuna wakati anawapasha wanafiki [emoji117] [emoji15] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 

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allah kuna wakati anawapasha wanafiki [emoji117] View attachment 909451 [emoji15] [emoji23] [emoji23]


Men With Wounded or Missing Male Parts Are Not Allowed in Church




Photo: via Wikimedia


"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."(Deuteronomy 23:1)

First of all, yes, the King James Bible actually calls them "stones." You are now aware of the fact that the "stones" euphemism is a Biblical reference. Also, God hates people with testicular cancer, apparently.

If it wasn't already bad enough that these poor dudes have wounded stones and members, it turns out that if they choose to practice proper Christianity they can never go to church again? That's balls.

So the context of this passage is actually that people should be without blemish and should generally be "perfect" so that they can procreate well and contribute to the Lord's congregation by being fruitful and multiplying, so it makes sense that having a working pair of stones is necessary... it's just pretty brutal if you have no control over losing your "stones."

How to Use:

Either way, if someone ever tries to debate that "we are all God's children" kindly remind them that if you're in any way missing your goods, you're pretty much screwed. If you have testicular cancer, according to The Bible, you really shouldn't bother praying for yourself.

Also, new rule: according to this rule, if someone kicks you in the balls in church, in addition to being in extreme pain, in order to be polite, you have to walk all the way outside until the pain subsides (and rises to your stomach.)
 
allah kuna wakati anawapasha wanafiki [emoji117] View attachment 909451 [emoji15] [emoji23] [emoji23]


Your Family Is Your Enemy and You Are All Competing for God's Love




Photo: via Twitter


"For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:35-27)

So believing in God, according to the Bible, is like a life-or-death game of Family Double Dare, only instead of having color-coded teams it's every man (woman and child) for themselves.

How to Use:

So next time someone says "family first" it's probably them tricking you into loving God less than you should, just so you'll go to hell and they won't. So, according to The Bible every time a mother tells her child that family is the most important thing in the world, they're really condemning their child to an eternity of fire, brimstone and suffering.

So, once again, all you need to do to prove this point in front of anyone is really just to ask them about their family and what's most important to them.
 
allah kuna wakati anawapasha wanafiki [emoji117] View attachment 909451 [emoji15] [emoji23] [emoji23]


Give A Thief Your Belongings




Photo: via Reddit

"And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also." (Matthew 5:40)

This passage feels like the one above, but it kind of has a twist. If someone steals something from you, you should hand over something else too. It's like a steal one-get one handed right to you offer.

How to Use:
Passages like these make it seem like God didn't honestly grant his followers free will and in reality wants to turn them into obedient and mindless robots who can't think for themselves.

Either way, a good way to test this would be to steal something from a Christian and see if you get even more out of it.

... This can't end well.
 
wee kama unaejiita muisilamu afu unapinga kula au kuliwa mgongo WA ngisi ni kafir tu ona mujahidina huyu [emoji117] View attachment 909216 sijui kapiga brush au katumia ky au kohozi alahu yaalamu [emoji4]


If You Steal Something, Or Sin In Any Way: Cut Off Your Hand





Photo: via Twitter


"And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched." (Mark 9:43)

If your irresponsible hand reaches out all on its own to steal some sunglasses or touch another man's wife, the Bible requires you to cut it off. End of story. No more video games that aren't Atari.

How to Use:

So next time someone tells you that you're going to hell, ask them if they're free of sin, and if they believe that they aren't, then kindly request their hand. It's their duty to give it to you.

Kind of like in that one SNL skit where Chris Farley gets on a Japanese gameshow, where everyone has to cut their hands off when they get wrong answers.
 

hujahifadhi hii eeh [emoji117] ndio sababu umekuja na janaba kapige kata tatu dogo [emoji12]
 

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Ha ha ha..
Ume copy mafundisho ya Freemasonry.
Kwa taarifa yako, Ufalme wa Mungu ni kwa wanadamu wote( In jesus voice).
Ila Quran ni ya waarabu wa Mecca. Ndio maana mtume wenu aliwageuza watumwa wale watu weusi. Maana walikua hawana maana moyote mbele yake.
Na ukiota mwanamke mweusi alisema ni dalili za ugonjwa. Kama na wewe ni black, ukimuota mkeo......malizia ikwesheni mwenyewe..
 


LEO UMEANGALIA VIDEO CLIP ?? ROHO MTAKATIFU WAKO KAKURUHUSU ???

zawadi yako hii

 
hujahifadhi hii eeh [emoji117] View attachment 909495 ndio sababu umekuja na janaba kapige kata tatu dogo [emoji12]

KOJO LA PUNDA WA EZEKIEL 23:20 LINAKUTOA AKILI ??

Lugha imeanza kukupiga chenga ???

Linganisha na haya maneno ya Yesu


"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

HAPO HAKUNA WANAOMPINGA MUNGU , WEWE UWACHUKIE TU WAZAZI BILA SABABU YOYOTE



:
 
Hapo ndipo unaposhindwa kuelewa lugha nyepesi kabisa,Mohammad ni wakwanza kwa Uma wake , Musa ni wakwanza kwa Uma wake, ibrahim ni wakwanza kwa wakati wake mbona maandiko yapo mengi yanayothibitisha uwepo wa uislamu hapo kabla ,
 
Unazungumza mambo kama vile sio msomi , mwanamke ndio alimdanganya Adamu akala tunda , sasa kwanini tusiishi nao kwa tahadhari na akili nyingi Mungu wako ndio wa kwanza kumuona mwanamke kama shetani ndio maana akasema maneno haya mazito kabisaaaaaaaaa
MWANZO 3:16
" Akamwambia mwanamke, Hakika NITAKUZIDISHIA uchungu wako, na kuzaa kwako;kwa utungu utazaa WATOTO; na tamaa yako itakuwa kwa mumeo, naye ATAKUTAWALA";

wewe ungekuwa na Akili timamu ungejiuliza kwanini shetani akumfata Adamu moja kwa moja kumshawishi kula tunda, lakini akapitia kwa mwanamke ? ukipata jibu ndio utajua kwanini vitimbi vya shetani ni dhaifu mbele ya vitimbi vya mwanamke, labda bonus tu ahahahahhqhhahah hata mfalme selemani aliabudu miungu ya wapagani kwasababu ya mwanamke Ahahahahahahaa
 
Kuna uwezekano akajazuka mtume mwingine akaweka mambo kisayannsi zaidi. Itoshe tu tuielezee dunia kisayansi bila kukosoa dini. Watu wapime wenyewe wapime.
Kwangu mimi maelezo kuhusu Mungu na uumbaji ni kama lugha gongana ndo maana ziko imani tofauti kuhusu the same God but huyohuyo hajitokezi kuwaambia watu usahihi na kwa ujinga wetu tunazozana juu yake basing on stories za hao tuliowatanguliza mbele aka mitume.
 
Ni kweli kabisa Mungu umuongoza amtakae na Umpoteza amtakae kwasababu kwake yeye ndio asili ya ujuzi wa mambo yote ulipo , ndio maana aliamua KUWAUA hawa kwasababu alijua ni watu wa matatizo hata wakibaka hawawezi badilika
2 KINGS 19:35
" That night , YAHWEH'S Angel went out , and STRUCK one hundred eight - five thousand in the camp of the Assyrians . When men arose early in the morning , behold, these were all DEAD bodies";

Ahahahahaahahaahaha kaua watu 185,000 kwa usiku mmoja , huyo ndio Mungu wako sasa unastaajabu nini kusema humuongoza na kumpoteza amtakae , mfano huu unaweza kuelewa mpaka roho ya kishetani kumbe Mungu wako pia huitumia anapotaka lake haya pokea hii
1 SAMUEL 16:14-15
14", Now YAHWEH spirit departed from Saul, and evil spirit from YAHWEH troubled him"
15" Saul's servants said to him " see how an evil spirit from YAHWEH troubled him";

Ahahahahaahahaahaha ukija hapa uwe umejipanga Mungu wako silaha zote anatumia mpaka roho yake ya kishetani
 
Ahahahahaahahaahaha hivi wewe akili zako umeacha chooni !! sura uliotoa hapo juu (4:16) imezungumza kwa uwazi " WAKITUBIA WAKATENGENEA BASI WAACHENI" sasa wanatubu vip kama hawajafanya kosa? hivi jamani maandiko tuwafundishe na kiswahili pia tuwafundishe alaaaaaaaaa , hilo ni kosa lakini uislamu umetoa msamaha kama mtu atatubu Kisha akaacha kabisa(huku ndio kutengenea) basi Mungu atamsamehe , sasa wewe sijui utaki wasamehe ilo tatizo lako ahahahaahahhaa
 
Asante kabisa leo umekiri hadharani kuwa kumbe kuna Mungu ,na kuna mwanadamu Kristo Yesu ahahahaha , ndio maana kila siku nakwambia unakichaa cha kurithi , leo umesema mwenyewe Yesu ni mwanadamu anaemipatanisha WAKRISTO na Mungu, kesho ukivimbiwa utasema tena Yesu ndio Mungu mwenyewe ahhahahhahahahh rahaaaaaaaa sanaaaaaaaa hivi ni Timotheo(1) 2:5 ahahaaahahahaahah hatari sana
 
Ahahahahaahahaahaha nimekwambia mimi ni mwanazuoni kweli kweli , aya ambazo ni ngumu kufahamika ni zile za mambo ya GHAIBU , nimekuuliza ukimwambia mtu kuna kufufuliwa unaweza kuthibitisha ? ahahahhaah uniletee story sijui za Yesu alifufua Ahahahahahahaa
 
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