Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
One-sided Conversations Sandra's conversations were generally one-sided. She would try to get him to talk first by asking him a string of questions. Then, before she could share what she wanted to talk about, she would become upset with his short answers. When she finally did share her feelings, they were always the same. She was upset that he was not open, loving, and sharing. A one-sided conversation might go like this:
SANDRA: How was your day?
LARRY: OK.
SANDRA: What happened?
LARRY* The usual.
SANDRA: What do you feel like doing this weekend?
LARRY. I don't care. What do you want to do?
SANDRA: Do you want to invite our friends over?
LARRY: I don't know. Do you know where the TV schedule is?
SANDRA: (upset) Why don't you talk to me?
LARRY: (Stunned and silent.)
SANDRA: Do you love me?
LARRY: Of course I love you. I married you.
SANDRA: How could you love me? We never talk any more. How can you just sit there and say nothing. Don't you care?
At this point, Larry would get up and go for a walk. When he came back he would act as though nothing had happened. Sandra would also act as though everything was fine, but inside she would withdraw her love and warmth. On the surface she would try to be loving, but on the inside her resentment increased. From time to time it would boil up and she would begin another one-sided interrogation of her husband's feelings. After twenty years of gathering evidence that he did not love her, she was no longer willing to be deprived of intimacy.