Naomba kuongea na wadogo zangu wa kiume 18-30years

Naomba kuongea na wadogo zangu wa kiume 18-30years

Utu uzima dawa! Mnakopita sasa sisi tulishapita salama, lakini kuna uhitaji wa kukumbushana machache, kupeana mbinu na kutiana moyo pia (hapa kwa sehemu hata wadogo zangu wa kike watahusika). Naongelea mabadiliko ya makuzi kihomoni, kimtazamo, kimahusiano na kifikra pia.

Kwanza lazima niwapongeze kwa uamuzi wenu wa hiari wa kuachana au kutoka kwenye mitandao mingine isiyo na faida wala tija na kuja kujiunga JF(JamiiForums) penye kisima cha maarifa, ujuzi na hata ushauri.

Niwapongeze pia wengi wenu kwa kuwa wawazi kwa yale mnayopitia, wengi wenu hamfahamu kuwa ni sehemu ya makuzi hivyo kujaa hofu na woga mwingi hasa kwenye maeneo haya;

1. Haiba - hapa kila mmoja anajitahidi awezavyo ili aonekane wa kisasa kwa mavazi lugha na hata mikogo mingineyo, kukosa baadhi ya hivyo vitu husababisha maumivu makubwa sana bila kutambua kuwa wakati wako wa kupata bado

2. Ukakamavu/confidence ya kuongea na hadhira au jinsia tofauti, hapa ni kimbembe, wengi hujichukia na kujistukia na hivyo kusababisha kujitenga na jamii muda mwingi kwa kudhani wengine wanajiona bora au ni mahiri kuliko wao! Hiki ni kipindi tu na kitapita lakini siri ya kuongea na hadhira ni kutowaangalia watu machoni bali kuwaangalia juu ya macho yao kwenye paji la uso.

3. Mahusiano kipengele hiki ni muhimu sana na hapa namaanisha kwenye ishu nzima ya kufanya mapenzi. Asikudanganye mtu, mapenzi utayajua baada ya kuvuka miaka 30, hapo utakuwa umewazoea na kuwafahamu wanawake na utakuwa huna hofu tena. wengi sana hapa wanalalamika kukosa nguvu au kumaliza haraka hii yote inaletwa na hofu na mara nyingi kudate mpenzi ambaye tayari keshakutana na wataalam, usitegemee kamwe katika miaka yako 26 umridhishe mwanamke wa 18-23 atakuwa anakuibia tuu.

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Mabinti wengi below 25 wapenzi wao ni 35+years. Hapo huwezi weka ligi.
Kinachowatisha wengi ni story za wanawake kufikishwa kileleni au kupiga show 30 nonstop wakati wewe dak5 nyingi. Usihofu, muda wako bado, wewe bado mchanga hujakomaa.

Lakini vile vile kuna wakati maungo yako huhitaji mapumziko. Hii hutokea yenyewe automatically, ndio maana kuna wakati unakuwa na ashiki sana na kuna wakati unakuwa kama hanithi. Usitishike, jitahidi mazoezi, epuka vyakula vya mafuta na makopo, jizuie kadiri uwezavyo kupiga punyeto labda mpaka uzidiwe sana.

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4. Uko kwenye kipindi cha kuingia ukubwani, kwahiyo akili ya kiutu uzima inafunguka, hii hali huja na side effects kama za mama mjamzito. Hasira za ghafla, kukata tamaa, kulia au kutamani kulia, kuzira, kujitenga, kuwa mtu wa mawazo muda mwingi ni vitu visivyoepukika.

Hapa ndipo unapojishape kuwa wewe wa kesho, kwahiyo jitahidi sana yanapokutokea haya usiyaendekeze, vijana wengi huwin na kushindwa hapa. Ukiyapuuza na kusonga mbele mafanikio yako yataanzia hapo, utayachukulia kuwa ndio sehemu ya maisha yako, kushindwa kwako kutaanzia hapo.

Kama bado uko below 30 usiangalie mwili ulionao bali jipange kwa kuwa hii ndio hatua muhimu ya kuwa wewe wa kesho. Mustakabali wako umeubeba mwenyewe.

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Daah imenikosha sana naitaj kubadrika 🥺
 
2016 wakati huu uzi unaandikwa, nilikuwa age range hii.
Ungenifaa sana.

Sasa muda umepita, ila my 20s weren't ruined.
 
Akikosa wa kumfariji, atageukia kwenye pombe na dawa za kulevya kutafuta faraja😟
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George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.

It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.

This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly see you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.

In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.

What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved for being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.

Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.

Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.

So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant to shine.
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What would it mean to you to feel truly known and understood by someone?
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