Padre na Sista!

Padre na Sista!

Shinto

Shinto

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A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember
Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving
at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church,
the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
 
The priest should know bible by heart la sio atakosa mengi
 
Unankumbusha stori ambako father na sista walikuwa safarini gari ikaharibika wakabidi kwenda kulala nyumba ya wageni,wakakuta nyumba zimejaa isipokuwa chumba kimoja. Wakaamua kwa kujiamini kulala chumba kimoja ila walinde Agano la Useja. Usiku padre akachukua mto na kuuweka kati ili uwatenganishe kitandani. Ilipofika asubuhi wakachelewa kuamka wakakuta mlinzi alishafunga geti la guest house. Padre akamwambia, sista nishikie mkoba niruke ukuta nkamshtue mlinzi aje afungue tuchukue gari. Sista akamwambia: Thubutuuuh! Umeshindwa kuruka mto usiku kitandani,utaweza kuruka ukuta?
 
Duuuuh hizi zote kali,,mbona watawa mnawanyanyasa sana?
 
tuacheni watawa nasie tuna mahitaji ya kimwili...........lol
 
Gsana said:
Unankumbusha stori ambako father na sista walikuwa safarini gari ikaharibika wakabidi kwenda kulala nyumba ya wageni,wakakuta nyumba zimejaa isipokuwa chumba kimoja. Wakaamua kwa kujiamini kulala chumba kimoja ila walinde Agano la Useja. Usiku padre akachukua mto na kuuweka kati ili uwatenganishe kitandani. Ilipofika asubuhi wakachelewa kuamka wakakuta mlinzi alishafunga geti la guest house. Padre akamwambia, sista nishikie mkoba niruke ukuta nkamshtue mlinzi aje afungue tuchukue gari. Sista akamwambia: Thubutuuuh! Umeshindwa kuruka mto usiku kitandani,utaweza kuruka ukuta?
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sasa wakiwa njiani padre si akijifanya mafuta yameisha akamwambia sista tuombe wakaomba wakaomba wakaomba baadae akamwambia sista nimefunuliwa niende kukojoa kwenye tank la mafuta akaenda kwenye kifuniko cha mafuta akajifanya anakojoa kwenye tank na baadae akaja akawasha kari likawaka kumbe mafuta yalikuwa hayajaisha wala nini wakamshukuru mungu na wakaendela na safari baada ya mwendo mfupi padre akajifanya mafuta yameisha tena padre akamwambia sista tuombe tena pengine tukapewa njia tofauti wakakata maombi akamwambia sista nimefunuliwa nikakojoe tena kwenye tank la mafuta ila kwasasa sina mkojo sista kama wewe una mkojo nenda ukakojoe kwenye tank sista kwenda kwenye kifuniko cha tank si akashindwa kukojolea kwenye hicho kifuniko ili mafuta yaingie kwenye tank akarudi akamwambia padre nimeshindwa kukojolea kwenye kale katundu cha mfuniko padre akamwambia njoo nivute na huu m rija wangu halafu nitaupeleka huo mkojo wako kwenye tank maana kwa jinsi ya viungo vyangu mimi ni rahisi kuingiza mkojo kwenye kale katundu cha tank sista si akakubali maana alishaona miujiza ya gari kutenmbea kwa kutumia mkojo hivyo akajua kwamba padre na hilo atakuwa amepewa maona. padre akamvuta sista mkojoo weeee na baada ya hapo akajifanya tena kwenda kukojolea kwenye kale katundu cha tank la mafuta ya gari na baada ya hapo gari ikawaka wakaendelea na safari walipoenda kilimeta chache sista akamwambia padre kama unataka kuongeza tena mkojo kwenye gari niambia maana nahisi mkojo unaweza kunivuta nahuo mrija wako tena tuongeze ili tuwe na uhakika kwamba sasa hatutaishiwa tena mafuta . duh hapo padre akawa ameuwa ndegu wawili kwa jiwe moja sasa ikawa ndio mchezo wa padre kumwomba sista mkojo na sista akisikia mkojo anampelekea padre ili waongeze kwenye gari
 
Seriously hawa jamaa mi siwaamini sana, hivi hawachakachui ki kweli kweli hawa? Nimeshuhudia matukio kadhaa ya abortion pale diocese of Mahenge HQ Kwiro. Ni common huko kwingine au ni isolated incidents tu? Nina dada yangu ambaye ni mtawa (nun) isije washikaji wakawa wanaji-sevia bure!!!
 
mwenye dada hakosi shemeji, it doesn't matter kwamba dada yako ni nun wa kwiro au kasita seminari hata kama wa kurasini.
 
Umeme ulimua umekatika, kwenye nyumba alikuwemo padri na sista, sasa sista alikua anatafuta mshumaa, akiwa anaendelee si ndio akamshika padri pale kwenye suruali ambapo pana dudu, sista akauliza hii nini? Padri akajibu hii ni maiti, sista akaendelea kutafuta ndipo padri nae ikabidi amsaidie sista kutafuta, nae kwa bahati mbaya akashika pale kwenye mbunye ya sista, akamuuliza je hii nini? Sista akajibu hili kabuli, ndio padri akatoa wazo, basi wacha tuizike hii maiti, sista akakubali, wakazika hadi umeme uliporudi na hawakukumbuka tena kutafuta mshumaa
 
baada ya maombi ya sala ya jioni, padri na sista walikua wamekaa wanajadiliana mambo ya kanisa, sista kwa bahati mbaya alikua amekaa vibaya hivyo kumfanya padri kuona mapaja ya yake na kumfanya asimame dudu lake, sista kuona vile akamuuliza padre, hiyo iliyovimba hapo kwako ghafla ni nini? Padri akamwambia huyu ni mfungwa, ndipo sista akamwambia mimi nina gereza mlete tumfunge humu, padri akakubali na mfungwa akatiwa gerezani kutumia kifungo. Padri alipopiga bao la kwanza mdudu akanywea na kuchomoka, sista kuona hivyo akasemwambia padri, mfungwa ametoroka gereza, padri akasema mkamate na umrudisha, mfungwa akarudishwa gerezani, padri akapiga kitu ingine na mfungwa akatoroka tena gerezani, sista akamwambia padri, naye akajibu mkamate na umrudishe gerezani, mfungwa akarudishwa tena gerezani, padri akapiga la 3 na mfungwa akatoka tena gerezani huku padri akiwa hoi bin taabani kwa kupiga bao 3. Sista akamwambia tena kuwa mfungwa ametorka, sasa padri kwa ukali na huku amechoka akasema KWANI AMEFUNGWA KIFUNGO CHA MAISHAA?
 
Sister Catherine is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth
grade what they want to be when they grow up. Little Sheila says:
"When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Catherine's eyes
grow wide and she barks: "What the (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb) did you say?"
"A prostitute!" Sheila repeats. Sister Catherine breathes a sight of
relief and says: "Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant"
 
This raggedy-assed old nun was walking home from the
convent one day, when this man jumps out from the bushes and has
his way.
Then the man sayeth unto her saying, "What will you tell the Holy
Father now, Sister?"
She says, "I must tell the truth! I will say I was walking home
from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes and raped
me twice, unless you're tired."
 
kitalolo said:
sasa wakiwa njiani padre si akijifanya mafuta yameisha akamwambia sista tuombe wakaomba wakaomba wakaomba baadae akamwambia sista nimefunuliwa niende kukojoa kwenye tank la mafuta akaenda kwenye kifuniko cha mafuta akajifanya anakojoa kwenye tank na baadae akaja akawasha kari likawaka kumbe mafuta yalikuwa hayajaisha wala nini wakamshukuru mungu na wakaendela na safari baada ya mwendo mfupi padre akajifanya mafuta yameisha tena padre akamwambia sista tuombe tena pengine tukapewa njia tofauti wakakata maombi akamwambia sista nimefunuliwa nikakojoe tena kwenye tank la mafuta ila kwasasa sina mkojo sista kama wewe una mkojo nenda ukakojoe kwenye tank sista kwenda kwenye kifuniko cha tank si akashindwa kukojolea kwenye hicho kifuniko ili mafuta yaingie kwenye tank akarudi akamwambia padre nimeshindwa kukojolea kwenye kale katundu cha mfuniko padre akamwambia njoo nivute na huu m rija wangu halafu nitaupeleka huo mkojo wako kwenye tank maana kwa jinsi ya viungo vyangu mimi ni rahisi kuingiza mkojo kwenye kale katundu cha tank sista si akakubali maana alishaona miujiza ya gari kutenmbea kwa kutumia mkojo hivyo akajua kwamba padre na hilo atakuwa amepewa maona. padre akamvuta sista mkojoo weeee na baada ya hapo akajifanya tena kwenda kukojolea kwenye kale katundu cha tank la mafuta ya gari na baada ya hapo gari ikawaka wakaendelea na safari walipoenda kilimeta chache sista akamwambia padre kama unataka kuongeza tena mkojo kwenye gari niambia maana nahisi mkojo unaweza kunivuta nahuo mrija wako tena tuongeze ili tuwe na uhakika kwamba sasa hatutaishiwa tena mafuta . duh hapo padre akawa ameuwa ndegu wawili kwa jiwe moja sasa ikawa ndio mchezo wa padre kumwomba sista mkojo na sista akisikia mkojo anampelekea padre ili waongeze kwenye gari[/QUOT
ha!ha!ha!
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