Say what you mean, mean what you say.

sweetlady said:

Wooooh.....Woooooooh Roulette nimependa sana hii ! Hongera kwa kuwa mama bora ! Mungu azidi kukupa hekima na busara uwakuze vema mabinti zetu !

Hapo red umenikumbusha wakati nakua nilikuwa naambiwa watoto wananunuliwa lol ila nashukuru haikuniathiri chochote labda kwa vile ni wa enzi hizo sio za sasa !

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Amina! Asante kwa pongezi, najitaidi hivo hivo. Kua mzazi ni mengi kuliko nilivo fikiria kabla sijazaa, kuliko nilivo fikiria nikiwaona wazazi wangu walivo tulea. Sisi tulikua watoto 7! yani nikikumbuka nawavulia kofia na kupiga salute. walijitah8idi kila mmoja wetu ajiskie yuko special, na anajibiwa mahitaji yake on an individual level.

Kabla ya kuongea haya ya sex, nilisoma vitabu, niliongea na wazazi wengine ila zaidi nilipata ushahuri toka kwa wazazi wangu na bibi zangu wote wawili. Kuna wakati nashindwa kabisa cha kufanya na najiona nimeshindwa kazi yangu ya ulezi ( Kongosho amesha faanua ni ulezi upi tunazungumzia) ila baadae unakumbuka kua usipo fanya wewe nani atafanya? Asie funzwa na wazazi anafunzwa na dunia, and as you might be aware the world can be pretty cruel sometimes. so weka aibu mbali, ongea na mtoto for her/his benefit. Ulezi...

BTT: Imagine mimi na baba yao tuko very tolerant na mambo ya homosexuality, na hatuoni ubaya wowote. Sasa pata picha pale watakapo uliza how an homosexual couple has babies? Au just why some people are homosexuals? siwezi kuwadanganya because you don't know why they ask this question, you don't know what is their sexual orientation na hutaki kumwambia kitu kitakacho mfanya ajiskie kua inferior/deviant. so you need to prepare these questions and make them match the moral and religious values you wish to transmit to your kids.

Roulette said:

Amina! Asante kwa pongezi, najitaidi hivo hivo. Kua mzazi ni mengi kuliko nilivo fikiria kabla sijazaa, kuliko nilivo fikiria nikiwaona wazazi wangu walivo tulea. Sisi tulikua watoto 7! yani nikikumbuka nawavulia kofia na kupiga salute. walijitah8idi kila mmoja wetu ajiskie yuko special, na anajibiwa mahitaji yake on an individual level.

Kabla ya kuongea haya ya sex, nilisoma vitabu, niliongea na wazazi wengine ila zaidi nilipata ushahuri toka kwa wazazi wangu na bibi zangu wote wawili. Kuna wakati nashindwa kabisa cha kufanya na najiona nimeshindwa kazi yangu ya ulezi ( Kongosho amesha faanua ni ulezi upi tunazungumzia) ila baadae unakumbuka kua usipo fanya wewe nani atafanya? Asie funzwa na wazazi anafunzwa na dunia, and as you might be aware the world can be pretty cruel sometimes. so weka aibu mbali, ongea na mtoto for her/his benefit. Ulezi...

BTT: Imagine mimi na baba yao tuko very tolerant na mambo ya homosexuality, na hatuoni ubaya wowote. Sasa pata picha pale watakapo uliza how an homosexual couple has babies? Au just why some people are homosexuals? siwezi kuwadanganya because you don't know why they ask this question, you don't know what is their sexual orientation na hutaki kumwambia kitu kitakacho mfanya ajiskie kua inferior/deviant. so you need to prepare these questions and make them match the moral and religious values you wish to transmit to your kids.

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Aisee nzuri sana mpendwa ! Kweli unajitahidi sana kama mzazi ! Nimeishiwa maneno ya kukuambia ila kweli umenifurahisha sana !

sweetlady said:

Aisee nzuri sana mpendwa ! Kweli unajitahidi sana kama mzazi ! Nimeishiwa maneno ya kukuambia ila kweli umenifurahisha sana !

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sweetlady toka lini umeanza kuchangia hizi sredi za kiinglish? Nakusubiri chit chat.

Catherine said:

sweetlady toka lini umeanza kuchangia hizi sredi za kiinglish? Nakusubiri chit chat.

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Hehehehe hujaona mh Kongosho alivyoibadilisha kwa faida ya wote ?

Sa hivi kuchangia hii mada ni kwa kiswahili tu usiogope lol!

sweetlady said:

Hehehehe hujaona mh Kongosho alivyoibadilisha kwa faida ya wote ?

Sa hivi kuchangia hii mada ni kwa kiswahili tu usiogope lol!

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teh teh teh! Ashukuriwe mh Kongosho kwa kuokoa jahazi. Ngoja sasa niitafute hiyo tafsiri na mi nichangiepo.

ha ha ha ha, english ingekuwa akili, wazungu wasingekuwa wanakuwa wa mwisho kwenye mitihani lol

ila kulea ni changamoto kwa kweli

sweetlady said:

Hehehehe hujaona mh Kongosho alivyoibadilisha kwa faida ya wote ?

Sa hivi kuchangia hii mada ni kwa kiswahili tu usiogope lol!

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Nyani Ngabu said:

Why is it so hard for folks to live up to it?

Is it because we as human beings are inherently dishonest?

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sometimes tunajiendekeza tu kwa kweli, kuna watu maisha yao hayaendi bila uongo na wameshazoea to the extent akisema kweli anaona kama hajajitendea haki..ninaamini hakuna mtu honest kwa 100% lakini too much uongo is harmfull..wakati mwingine tunakua waongo kwa mambo yasikua hata ya msingi!

Nyani Ngabu said:

Mbona wapo hata wanawake ambao wako hivyo...sasa kwa nini wewe ulitaka kuwalenga wanaume tu?

Yaani unakuta wanakuambia 'you are my all and all' na maneno mengine kama hayo na kwa wakati huo huo wana wanaume wengine.

Halafu sasa ukute huyo mdada anajua kuandika vina viwili vitatu....mbona utakoma. Utaandikiwa mistari hadi ujione wewe ndo wewe kumbe wapi bana...hauko peke yako.

So it goes both ways miss Kaunga.

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I know, lakini wanaume wamekuwa wawazi mno kutuambia tusiamini wanachokisema. Tena mtu kama Tuko anaeleza wazi wazi kabisa kuwa tusiwa take serious wanaume. Hivyo swali langu ni lini tuwa take serious na lini tusiwatake serious; l wish wangetupa hint fulani hivi.

kama unaweza soma signature yangu itakusaidia.

Usiamini la mtu, amini 'your intuitions' huwa hazidanganyi, tatizo hatuzisikilizi.

Kaunga said:

I know, lakini wanaume wamekuwa wawazi mno kutuambia tusiamini wanachokisema. Tena mtu kama Tuko anaeleza wazi wazi kabisa kuwa tusiwa take serious wanaume. Hivyo swali langu ni lini tuwa take serious na lini tusiwatake serious; l wish wangetupa hint fulani hivi.

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Roulette said:

I'd say Human beings are intrinsically honest, that's why we feel good when we act honestly. We really have to think about how to lie, and put an arrangement around it. this is why it is harder to lie than to say the truth.

The reason why people lie anyway, and say things they don't mean, is mostly pressure from outside and weak personality. Most of them (IMO) want to appear like somebody they are not, want to promise things they cannot deliver because they think that the promise they make can open up doors that would otherwise remain closed.

I think that the easiest way to be honest is to contently be yourself and resist pressure from the outside. when you can't do something because it is against your principles or simply because you are not capable of doing it (Udhaifu) then say it. I also think that the easiest way to get people around you to be honest with you is to lead by example and keep your expectations as low as possible, encourage honest behaviors and promote antes honesty than post apologies

In any case I always remember that nobody will blame me for trying to surprise and fail as you attempt it, but people will blame me for promising something and fail to deliver.

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Hapo naona nimepata jibu la swali langu ambalo limekuwa likinitesa, (wanaosema uongo hawajiamini na ni waoga?)

wanaogopa vivuli vyao.

Kila siku husema, huwezi kuwa 'kuku' ukaona sifa kuwa na characters za farasi.

Naweza sema wanakuwa 'uncomfortable in their own skin'

Kaunga said:

Hapo naona nimepata jibu la swali langu ambalo limekuwa likinitesa, (wanaosema uongo hawajiamini na ni waoga?)

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Kongosho said:

kama unaweza soma signature yangu itakusaidia.

Usiamini la mtu, amini 'your intuitions' huwa hazidanganyi, tatizo hatuzisikilizi.

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Maisha yanakuwa magumu sana, sasa usipomuamini mpenzi wako Kongosho hayo mahusiano yanakuwaje? na hizo intuitions huwa hazichakachuliwi na shetani anayetaka kuvuruga mahusiano? Na wapi nafasi ya kuvumiliana katika mahusiano ambayo yanaongozwa na intuitions?

Kaunga said:

Hapo naona nimepata jibu la swali langu ambalo limekuwa likinitesa, (wanaosema uongo hawajiamini na ni waoga?)

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Baada ya kufikiria sana kuhusu sababu zinazo nipeleka mimi kudanganya niligundua kua mara nyingi nadanganya pale ambapo sipo comfortable kua mimi mwenyewe. pale ambapo nataka nionekane kua mtu ambae sio mimi. Au pale ambapo naogopa reaction ya muhusika nitakapo mwambia ukweli.
Rejea mfano wa sweetlady kuhusu kuongea na watoto kuhusu sex. Unakuta mzazi hayuko comfortable kuzungumzia suali h8ilo sababu ni taboo. Basi mzazi anasema uongo kwa kukimbia discomfort inayo tokana na wajibu wake kama mzazi. ikiwa atavaa kofia ya uzazi na kuact kama mzazi, hiyo discomfort itapotea na ataongea akiwa na uhakika kua she/he is playing a parent role, with no pretense of being an angel complying with chastity.

Kaunga said:

Maisha yanakuwa magumu sana, sasa usipomuamini mpenzi wako Kongosho hayo mahusiano yanakuwaje? na hizo intuitions huwa hazichakachuliwi na shetani anayetaka kuvuruga mahusiano? Na wapi nafasi ya kuvumiliana katika mahusiano ambayo yanaongozwa na intuitions?

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Trust but verify.

Kongosho said:

Hata kama umetembea na watu 20, sioni kwa nini uogope kivuli chako.
Kuliko useme wawili wakati ni 20, bora useme siko tayari kusema kwa sasa



Unaweza mwambia ila usimpe details zote kama hauko tayari
Ila watoto ni waelewa kuliko tunavyodhani
Tatizo la kumficha sana anaweza enda ambiwa na wengine usiyotaka ayajue au anakuwa 'misled'

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Mimi ningesema, samahani naomba nisijibu hilo swali kama hautajali!

Nyani Ngabu said:

Trust but verify.

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Hapo ndipo kuna mziki mwingine, how do you do that?
Kwa kufuatilia say simu zake, au kufuata ule muongozo wa kugundua kama mwenzio anacheat! Ni pasua kichwa, kwa mtazamo wangu. Bora kulive for the moment, penda jinsi unavyopenda ukitendwa lia au umia, nurse your heart break, ukiheal anza mwanzo tena ukijatendwa tena anza upya.

Kaunga said:

Hapo ndipo kuna mziki mwingine, how do you do that?
Kwa kufuatilia say simu zake, au kufuata ule muongozo wa kugundua kama mwenzio anacheat! Ni pasua kichwa, kwa mtazamo wangu. Bora kulive for the moment, penda jinsi unavyopenda ukitendwa lia au umia, nurse your heart break, ukiheal anza mwanzo tena ukijatendwa tena anza upya.

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All I'm saying is don't trust blindly. Blind trust is stupid.

So trust, and whenever you can, verify.

Catherine said:

teh teh teh! Ashukuriwe mh Kongosho kwa kuokoa jahazi. Ngoja sasa niitafute hiyo tafsiri na mi nichangiepo.

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Wahi kabla Nyani Ngabu hajairudisha tena kwenye kiinglish lol.....si unaona ameanza pole pole ?

wengi hatu-verify sababu tunaogopa ku-face ukweli.

Hata kabla ya kuingia kwenye mahusiano kuna vitu huwa wakati mwingine tunaviona vinavyoachwa maswali lakini tunavifumbia macho.

Mfano, mnakaa mahuaiano ya mwaka mzima na mtu, hujui hata mtaa anaoishi achia mbali nyumba. Kwa nini usibaki na swali hapa?

Nyani Ngabu said:

All I'm saying is don't trust blindly. Blind trust is stupid.

So trust, and whenever you can, verify.

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Kaunga, kila kitu ni kigumu na kirahisi kutegemea na unachokilinda.

Je hisia zako zikiumizwa sababu hukutaka tafuta ukweli unaona ni sawa??

Bora ujue ukweli ila uamue kuufumbia macho kuliko kutoujua ukweli.

Kaunga said:

Maisha yanakuwa magumu sana, sasa usipomuamini mpenzi wako Kongosho hayo mahusiano yanakuwaje? na hizo intuitions huwa hazichakachuliwi na shetani anayetaka kuvuruga mahusiano? Na wapi nafasi ya kuvumiliana katika mahusiano ambayo yanaongozwa na intuitions?

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