Tatizo na Nyumba Ndogo...

[nemic4u]

Hapana binti,

Kila binadamu anapenda kitu kipya kipya, kinachong'aa na kuvutia hata kama cha kuazima,

Hata hivyo tunatofautiana katika uwezo wa kuhimili tamaaa + risk assessment and management!!

Babu DC!!

Thanx a lio babu!

 

[nemic4u]

Hapana binti,

Kila binadamu anapenda kitu kipya kipya, kinachong'aa na kuvutia hata kama cha kuazima,

Hata hivyo tunatofautiana katika uwezo wa kuhimili tamaaa + risk assessment and management!!

Babu DC!!

Thanx a lot babu!

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

ooohhh yeah,asubuhi nilichungulia kdgo sema majukumu yalinibana swir...naona umemuopoa Mbu, goodluck...lol....juzi mke mwenzangu kanical analialia, mie nipo ni mcba au? namuuliza kulikoni mke mwe, ananiambia mama yako kanijibu vibaya sana(mama mkwe)yupo kwake kwa matibabu, mke mwe alikuwa anamlalamikia mama mkwe kwamba mwanae anachelewa kurudi cjui nn na nn etc, mama mkwe akamwambia kama unataka wako peke yako umba/mchore, hahahha nilicheka mpaka maumivu walah, me luv mama mkwe wangu kwa mabomu aisee....jamani kueni muyaone!...

Hahahahah nyamayao, asa huyo mke mwe wako naye, ndo story gani hizo za kupiga na mama mkwe wake? Mume ni wangu kachelewa kurudi nyumbani hata kama kinaning'wenya moyoni ndo nimsemee kwa mama mkwe?! Ah naye akhaa, sijapenda

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

I guess she has not learned the art of reading between the lines...lol... Or in this case between the posts....

Da Mkubwa upo?? You have been missed aisee.

Thanx maana naona Obssed kanikusudia maana alianza na kama nilishakuwa nyumba ndogo sasa kaja na nimeolewa au la! Dah

Mpenzi I told you nitakuja kukuona tulia sijasahau ila tu shem Kaizer ananikata stimu, yaani kama namwona kaketi na kiti chake getini na mlolongo wa maswali, maana ashaanza na Mj1 umepata penzi jipya lol.

 

[Mbu]

ooohhh yeah,asubuhi nilichungulia kdgo sema majukumu yalinibana swir...naona umemuopoa Mbu, goodluck...lol....juzi mke mwenzangu kanical analialia, mie nipo ni mcba au? namuuliza kulikoni mke mwe, ananiambia mama yako kanijibu vibaya sana(mama mkwe)yupo kwake kwa matibabu, mke mwe alikuwa anamlalamikia mama mkwe kwamba mwanae anachelewa kurudi cjui nn na nn etc, mama mkwe akamwambia kama unataka wako peke yako umba/mchore, hahahha nilicheka mpaka maumivu walah, me luv mama mkwe wangu kwa mabomu aisee....jamani kueni muyaone!...

...huyo mama mkwe hana busara, ...alitaka akashtakie kwao?
Si ndio mwanzo wa uhasama?

Hahahahah nyamayao, asa huyo mke mwe wako naye, ndo story gani hizo za kupiga na mama mkwe wake? Mume ni wangu kachelewa kurudi nyumbani hata kama kinaning'wenya moyoni ndo nimsemee kwa mama mkwe?! Ah naye akhaa, sijapenda

....aisee!???

Wapendwa je wote mu wazima?

Nisaidieni ninaomba kwani nafikiri sijitambui au sijijui.

Mbona mimi sipati shida wala kushtushwa na suala zima la nyumba ndogo!!
Je inawezekana kuwa sijawahi kupenda? au?
Je kuna mwenzangu/wenzangu ambao wana hali kama hii?

...baada ya michango miingi humu ndani na uchakachuaji wa thread,
naomba niweke karata yangu kwamba maamuzi yako Mwj1 yanawezekana
kwa kiwango kikubwa yanachangiwa na makuuzii yako...( am sorry kama nakukwaza)

...naamini kuna umri unam shape mtoto kiakili ( kuathiri maamuzi) yake ya baadae
huenda ni btwn 3- 16yrs ... Umri ambao tabia za mzazi mmoja, au wawili au hata mlezi/ walezi
zinaweza kabisa kuwa ndiyo definition ya maamuzi ya maisha huko ukubwani...

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Shemeji Klorokwin aksante kwa kutoa conclusion iliyotulia. Ninaomba niongezee

Wapendwa mada husika hapa ilikuwa ni uwoga juu ya nyumba ndogo i.e. ile hali ya kuihofia sana kuwa mwenzangu anafanya hili inawezekana anayo nyumba ndogo. Kwangu mimi hili halinisumbui kabisa na wala si kuwa ninabariki au kukubali uwepo wa nyumba ndogo au namruhusu mwenzangu awe na nyumba ndogo la hasha (Na yeye analijua hilo kwamba kwangu its a No, no and no). Nilitegemea discussion ingekuwa around kuwa na wivu na kumpenda! Yaani tudiscuss kuwa MJ1 unafeel kuwa hutishwi na nyumba ndogo kwa kuwa huna wivu na mwenzi wako kwa kuwa humpendi kiukweli, au hiyo ya kuwa umekuwa n.k

Kiukweli (na hapa ninaomba nimuudhi Babu ODM) sikubaliani na nyumba ndogo wala sibariki mwanamke/mume awe na small house, no way na once nikikukuta nayo I always do not discuss. Tatizo langu mie ni kuwa ninapokupenda na kuamini kuwa nawe unanipenda, ninaamini yote na kama utaamua kunicheat basi usinionyeshe wazi, na hata usiamshe alarms zangu! DO NOT CHANGE!

Nilichotaka kujua tu ni kuwa je is it ok? am I normal kuwa na mahusiano ambayo sitishiwi na wapangaji wa nje?? Yaani sihofii wala siwahofii in the first place (Unless nimepewa kiashiria) But ukitokea mtafaruku kati yangu na mwenzangu kitu kinachokuwa kimenioccuppy ni wapi nimekosea mimi/yeye; what is lacking kwenye mahusiano yetu; where did I go wrong and what did I take for granted. Baada ya analysis hii ndo niangalie external forces kama nyumba ndogo and believe me not ni kuwa once nimeekzousti internal forces na kugundua hakuna tatizo, chuki ndo inaanza kujengeka na mbaya zaidi nikigundua kidudu mtu ni nyumba ndogo nakuwa mbogo.

 

[King’asti]

Sasa boss,
Naamini umeacha keria wumani huko nyumbani. Unaonaje haya masifa na ma-appreciation ukafanya home work yako kabla ya kusaidiwa na mabosi ama madereva?

Halafu point of correction: sio kweli wazee wa siku hizi wafuata young chicks aisee, wanasumbua haswaa! tena kwenye warsha nchi ya baridi na mtu anang'ang'ania akupeleke chumbani kwako unam-turn down afu unaingia room unapigia mwenza wako halafu anasema niko na washkaji nitakupigia nikifika home :shock:
Kama kuna watu waliopaswa kuwa na affairs zinazohitaji rejesta ya four quire ni wamama! Wamama hawawi appreciated hata kidogo! ni wamama wangapi wanarudi home wanaambiwa pole na kazi na waume zao? Yet mwanaume asipoambiwa pole anaona hajawa appreciated! buoy!

pwenti tupu

KUna kakangu mmoja kila siku kwamba hakuna mwanamke rahisi kulamba kama keria woman... show interest in her work, complement her even if she is rubbish, time anaposafiri uwe mji alipo umekula... hawajui kutongozwa, hawajui kukataa wanachojua ni kazi kwahiyo akigeuza tu macho kaliwa

mwisho wa siku ni frustration tupu

MATATIZO YA MAHUSIANO YANACHANGIWA 50/50 NA WENYE MAHUSIANO TUTAHANGAIKA WEEEEEEEEEE, BUT THAT IS THE FACT!!

 

[Fidel80]

I see nimemiss michango mizuri sana.
Nitasoma vizuri tena nikiwa Kaunta

 

[Roulette]

Nilitegemea discussion ingekuwa around kuwa na wivu na kumpenda! Yaani tudiscuss kuwa MJ1 unafeel kuwa hutishwi na nyumba ndogo kwa kuwa huna wivu na mwenzi wako kwa kuwa humpendi kiukweli, au hiyo ya kuwa umekuwa n.k

Nilichotaka kujua tu ni kuwa je is it ok? am I normal kuwa na mahusiano ambayo sitishiwi na wapangaji wa nje?? Yaani sihofii wala siwahofii in the first place (Unless nimepewa kiashiria) But ukitokea mtafaruku kati yangu na mwenzangu kitu kinachokuwa kimenioccuppy ni wapi nimekosea mimi/yeye; what is lacking kwenye mahusiano yetu; where did I go wrong and what did I take for granted. Baada ya analysis hii ndo niangalie external forces kama nyumba ndogo and believe me not ni kuwa once nimeekzousti internal forces na kugundua hakuna tatizo, chuki ndo inaanza kujengeka na mbaya zaidi nikigundua kidudu mtu ni nyumba ndogo nakuwa mbogo.

MJ1, kama unampenda mume wako na mnaaminiana you can't live your life thinking of him as a cheater. You just wouldn't enjoy being with him sababu utakua na wasiwasi kila wakati, kazi ya kutafuta ushahidi wa his loyalty/cheating. Hayo sio mapenzi tena.
Ukiwa mke wa mtu au partner wake kimapenzi it is a contract na unaamini kua he respects the terms of the contract.
Ni sawa kabisa kusema kua ukiona amedabilika utaanza kujichunguza mwenyewe na kumchunguza mazingira yake ya kazi, ya kiuchumi, na mengine yanayo waaffect binadamu katika maisha. Because you trust him and believe in his faithfulness huwezi kuanza kufikiria nyumba ndogo. that is normal.
Ila usikae ukisema kua 'if he has one sitaki kujua, so long as he doesn't change kwangu'. hii ni hatari sana kwa afya yako (thanks NN for underlining this POTENTIALLY LETHAL danger), but pia kwa ndoa yako. Msingi wa ndoa ni trust and love. sasa ikiwa amevunja trust, na amegawa love, what is left for you?
At the same time siwezi kusema kua mtazamo wangu ndio valid na wako sio... this is valid to me and my husband, as per the terms of our contracts which we discussed kufatana na expectations zetu katika mahusiano yetu. You are free to define your own contract... Na kama umeamua kua on the Nyumba ndogo side just make sure you know the reasons he is with you, and you know what to expect from him (maximum, minimum).

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

MJ1, kama unampenda mume wako na mnaaminiana you can't live your life thinking of him as a cheater. You just wouldn't enjoy being with him sababu utakua na wasiwasi kila wakati, kazi ya kutafuta ushahidi wa his loyalty/cheating. Hayo sio mapenzi tena.
Ukiwa mke wa mtu au partner wake kimapenzi it is a contract na unaamini kua he respects the terms of the contract.
Ni sawa kabisa kusema kua ukiona amedabilika utaanza kujichunguza mwenyewe na kumchunguza mazingira yake ya kazi, ya kiuchumi, na mengine yanayo waaffect binadamu katika maisha. Because you trust him and believe in his faithfulness huwezi kuanza kufikiria nyumba ndogo. that is normal.
Ila usikae ukisema kua 'if he has one sitaki kujua, so long as he doesn't change kwangu'. hii ni hatari sana kwa afya yako (thanks NN for underlining this POTENTIALLY LETHAL danger), but pia kwa ndoa yako. Msingi wa ndoa ni trust and love. sasa ikiwa amevunja trust, na amegawa love, what is left for you?
At the same time siwezi kusema kua mtazamo wangu ndio valid na wako sio... this is valid to me and my husband, as per the terms of our contracts which we discussed kufatana na expectations zetu katika mahusiano yetu. You are free to define your own contract... Na kama umeamua kua on the Nyumba ndogo side just make sure you know the reasons he is with you, and you know what to expect from him (maximum, minimum).

This post gets a standing ovation!

 

[Mbu]

MJ1, kama unampenda mume wako na mnaaminiana you can't live your life thinking of him as a cheater. You just wouldn't enjoy being with him sababu utakua na wasiwasi kila wakati, kazi ya kutafuta ushahidi wa his loyalty/cheating. Hayo sio mapenzi tena.
Ukiwa mke wa mtu au partner wake kimapenzi it is a contract na unaamini kua he respects the terms of the contract.
Ni sawa kabisa kusema kua ukiona amedabilika utaanza kujichunguza mwenyewe na kumchunguza mazingira yake ya kazi, ya kiuchumi, na mengine yanayo waaffect binadamu katika maisha. Because you trust him and believe in his faithfulness huwezi kuanza kufikiria nyumba ndogo. that is normal.
Ila usikae ukisema kua 'if he has one sitaki kujua, so long as he doesn't change kwangu'. hii ni hatari sana kwa afya yako (thanks NN for underlining this POTENTIALLY LETHAL danger), but pia kwa ndoa yako. Msingi wa ndoa ni trust and love. sasa ikiwa amevunja trust, na amegawa love, what is left for you?
At the same time siwezi kusema kua mtazamo wangu ndio valid na wako sio... this is valid to me and my husband, as per the terms of our contracts which we discussed kufatana na expectations zetu katika mahusiano yetu. You are free to define your own contract... Na kama umeamua kua on the Nyumba ndogo side just make sure you know the reasons he is with you, and you know what to expect from him (maximum, minimum).

...cheating is cheating dont get me wrong as there's no justification ya kutendwa huko,
lakini je, nini mtazamo wako kwa spouse ambaye ana cheat "responsibly"...kiasi kwamba,
anachukua hatua za ziada kuji protect na kum protect spouse wake,
- hachelewi nyumbani
- halali nje

...yaani yeye kiufupi ana extra marital affair "inayoeleweka" haiepukiki..?
Mfano, sababu ya "kikazi", long distance, residency, etc...

 

[TIMING]

Sasa boss,
Naamini umeacha keria wumani huko nyumbani. Unaonaje haya masifa na ma-appreciation ukafanya home work yako kabla ya kusaidiwa na mabosi ama madereva?

Halafu point of correction: sio kweli wazee wa siku hizi wafuata young chicks aisee, wanasumbua haswaa! tena kwenye warsha nchi ya baridi na mtu anang'ang'ania akupeleke chumbani kwako unam-turn down afu unaingia room unapigia mwenza wako halafu anasema niko na washkaji nitakupigia nikifika home :shock:
Kama kuna watu waliopaswa kuwa na affairs zinazohitaji rejesta ya four quire ni wamama! Wamama hawawi appreciated hata kidogo! ni wamama wangapi wanarudi home wanaambiwa pole na kazi na waume zao? Yet mwanaume asipoambiwa pole anaona hajawa appreciated! buoy!

nafanya sana tu aisee.... usaniii ndio keria yangu ya pili, baada ya hii inayonipeleka toilet

we muulize, tena ni member humuhumu atakwambia....

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

MJ1, kama unampenda mume wako na mnaaminiana you can't live your life thinking of him as a cheater. You just wouldn't enjoy being with him sababu utakua na wasiwasi kila wakati, kazi ya kutafuta ushahidi wa his loyalty/cheating. Hayo sio mapenzi tena.
Ukiwa mke wa mtu au partner wake kimapenzi it is a contract na unaamini kua he respects the terms of the contract.
Ni sawa kabisa kusema kua ukiona amedabilika utaanza kujichunguza mwenyewe na kumchunguza mazingira yake ya kazi, ya kiuchumi, na mengine yanayo waaffect binadamu katika maisha. Because you trust him and believe in his faithfulness huwezi kuanza kufikiria nyumba ndogo. that is normal.
Ila usikae ukisema kua 'if he has one sitaki kujua, so long as he doesn't change kwangu'. hii ni hatari sana kwa afya yako (thanks NN for underlining this POTENTIALLY LETHAL danger), but pia kwa ndoa yako. Msingi wa ndoa ni trust and love. sasa ikiwa amevunja trust, na amegawa love, what is left for you?
At the same time siwezi kusema kua mtazamo wangu ndio valid na wako sio... this is valid to me and my husband, as per the terms of our contracts which we discussed kufatana na expectations zetu katika mahusiano yetu. You are free to define your own contract... Na kama umeamua kua on the Nyumba ndogo side just make sure you know the reasons he is with you, and you know what to expect from him (maximum, minimum).

RR aksante sana kwa this very useful post of yours. I completely agree with you.

Naomba kufafanua niliposema nisijue again haimaanishi ninamruhusu kuwa nayo ila nisijue. Kwa sababu bado ninaamini kuwa kama akiamua kuwa nayo na nisijue SITAJUA! now tell me do you really believe kuwa spouse wako HANA kwa kuwa hajakuonyesha?? na je how would you know kama anayo iwapo hajakuonyesha dalili? All I am saying ni kuwa take precaution but the fact kuwa you are not sure whether s/he has or not doesnt give you a ticket to nag him or her because of insecurities.

As mwanamke unayejua majukumu yako na kuyatekeleza, have confidence in yourself, take the wheel. Mwonyeshe kuwa huko sawa na wengine katika suala la mahusiano yako na yeye na hata kama anafikiria kuwa nao basi ahakikishe kuwa anajaribu sumu kwa kuilamba so ni uamuzi wake kuitest kwa tip ya ulimi au kutoitest kabisa.

 

[Mbu]

RR aksante sana kwa this very useful post of yours. I completely agree with you.

Naomba kufafanua niliposema nisijue again haimaanishi ninamruhusu kuwa nayo ila nisijue. Kwa sababu bado ninaamini kuwa kama akiamua kuwa nayo na nisijue SITAJUA! now tell me do you really believe kuwa spouse wako HANA kwa kuwa hajakuonyesha?? na je how would you know kama anayo iwapo hajakuonyesha dalili? All I am saying ni kuwa take precaution but the fact kuwa you are not sure whether s/he has or not doesnt give you a ticket to nag him or her because of insecurities.

As mwanamke unayejua majukumu yako na kuyatekeleza, have confidence in yourself, take the wheel. Mwonyeshe kuwa huko sawa na wengine katika suala la mahusiano yako na yeye na hata kama anafikiria kuwa nao basi ahakikishe kuwa anajaribu sumu kwa kuilamba so ni uamuzi wake kuitest kwa tip ya ulimi au kutoitest kabisa.

...Deep! Sasa nimekuelewa, big up mwj1...duhh...

 

[Dark City]

Hii Thread ni hatari sana,

yaani kila watu wanapojaribu kui-conclude ndivyo wanakuwa kama wanaianzisha upya!

Kama vipi RR ifunge tu...tumeshasema mengi!

Ila ukweli utabaki pale pale kwamba ime-attract platinum posts za kutosha!

Babu DC!!

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Hii Thread ni hatari sana,

yaani kila watu wanapojaribu kui-conclude ndivyo wanakuwa kama wanaianzisha upya!

Kama vipi RR ifunge tu...tumeshasema mengi!

Ila ukweli utabaki pale pale kwamba ime-attract platinum posts za kutosha!

Babu DC!!

Eh Babu DC, unawezanifafanulia kwa nini unampa RR mandatory ya kuifunga hii thread?? ameifungua yeye? je mimi kama mimi nimeridhika? mbona hunitendei haki Babu DC??

 

[Roulette]

...cheating is cheating dont get me wrong as there's no justification ya kutendwa huko,
lakini je, nini mtazamo wako kwa spouse ambaye ana cheat "responsibly"...kiasi kwamba,
anachukua hatua za ziada kuji protect na kum protect spouse wake,
- hachelewi nyumbani
- halali nje

...yaani yeye kiufupi ana extra marital affair "inayoeleweka" haiepukiki..?
Mfano, sababu ya "kikazi", long distance, residency, etc...

Kwa nini asinambie matatizo yake then mimi na yeye tutafute solution? hakuna marital afair 'inayoeleweka' kwa macho yangu. tumesha kubaliana kua it is a deal breaker.
Ikiwa you are having a long distance relation then work together and make the necessary arrangement to make sure that you are there for each other 'as much as you can, given the circumstances'. Ikibidi mmoja amfate mwenzie. Be thankful not only for the results achieved but also the efforts invested in achieving those results. Communication, frequent travels na mengineyo ni muhimu kila mnapokua appart. Nyumba ndogo is a too easy solution, and that is why wato wengi wanakimbilia hiyo. As a couple you have to protect your marriage by all means, and you have to do it together, sio mwanamke apigane kuhakikisha mwanaume doesn't cheat.

 

[AshaDii]

Da Mkubwa upo?? You have been missed aisee.

Thanx maana naona Obssed kanikusudia maana alianza na kama nilishakuwa nyumba ndogo sasa kaja na nimeolewa au la! Dah

Mpenzi I told you nitakuja kukuona tulia sijasahau ila tu shem Kaizer ananikata stimu, yaani kama namwona kaketi na kiti chake getini na mlolongo wa maswali, maana ashaanza na Mj1 umepata penzi jipya lol.

Wee bibie mie ni patient... hasa in matter of the heart and Nakusubiri kwa hamu.... Sweetie tutamtafutia safari siku ambayo you are coming...lol, ili uwe huru na asi apply tabia yake ile ya reading between the line.... Mie nipo dear... Majukumu tu yanabana...

 

[AshaDii]

Yaani Alter ego... Daima we share the same point of view in almost every thing.... Nashangaa inakuaje hua twapishana padogo tu katika hii topic.... Enways kama nilivo sema siku hizi nasoma tu sibishani....lol

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

...Deep! Sasa nimekuelewa, big up mwj1...duhh...

Mbu unajua wengi (hata nje ya JF) huwa hawanielewi (pengine zsieleweki aisee) but thinking yangu ni kuwa I will sacrifice everything to love, cherrish and enjoy the love I am blessed to! That is why nitatoa uhuru kwa kadri niwezavyo (knowing kuwa utabehave) I will go an an extra mile for you, I will respect you kama mwenzi na kiongozi mkuu wa familia yangu( ukirudi usiku wa manane I will open the door for you with a bitter smile (especially if you have some few bottles in your head) Even if ukiniomba ugali wa muhogo huo usiku, nitakupikia na kukupatia BUT, while doing that I will continue to evaluate our relationship and once nikijua kinachokufanya ufanye hayo.................then I will be in a fore front asking you what did you lack from me?..................... and even if you tell me the reason for you cheating, you will have to explain why didnt you say so kuwa unakosa a,b and c because mimi si malaika kuwa ntaota mume wangu anapendelea hiki as long as zile basics nlishazifanya................ gosh!!