Ushauri wangu tu ndugu, ingawa wengi watabisha hapa (nimegundua hili kwa muda mdogo niliojiunga, kuna watu ubishi ni kazi yao) kwanza soma tena barua yako, kuna makosa mengi mno ya uchapishaji. Umechanganya maneno mengi mfano Applicationfor, Schoolseeking, KiswahiliandComputer, supervision,to ni makosa madogo madogo, lakini kama wewe ndie unaepokea barua namna hii hivi kweli utamuajiri mhusika? Mimi sitokuajiri kwa sababu unaonyesha dhahiri kuwa utakuwa ukifanya makosa kazini, na pia huko serious kwa sababu kama uko serious ungelichukua muda kusoma barua yako kutoa makosa kabla ya kuituma.
Pia kwenye strong attributes, ok ndio kwanza umemaliza form six, lakini ushahidi wa unayosema uko wapi? ningelikushauri ure-phrase sentensi hiyo na uweke ushahidi, maneno kamam possessing proven x and y skills as proven by completing/assisting/etc.
I have a good command in English, Kiswahili and Computer Literacy. sentensi hii unadhani iko sawa? good command in cumputer literacy? really? by the way it is swahili and not kiswahili. Kumbuka Ki tunatumia kuashiria aina ya lugha na sio sehemu ya jina la lugha; kiarabu, kifaransa, kifini, kijapani etc.
Ningelikushauri ure-phrase ulivyoanza barua yako pia "I am a form six leaver of the year 2012 from" iandike kivyengine.