Truth about deception

[2013]

What is the Difference Between a Sociopath, a Compulsive, a Pathological, a Chronic, and a Habitual Liar?

A Sociopath

A sociopath is typically defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. A sociopath is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused-it is done to get one's way). Sociopaths have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. Sociopaths are often charming and charismatic, but they use their talented social skills in manipulative and self-centered ways

Compulsive Liar
A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (unlike sociopaths), rather they simply lie out of habit-an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship

The terms Pathological Liar, Habitual Liar and Chronic Liar are often used to refer to a Compulsive Liar


Keep 6 things in mind as you deal with a pathological liar:

1. Know that a pathological liar will study you: The goal of the liar may be hidden, but you can count on the fact that the liar doesn't want you to know the truth. In order to evade someone, you certainly need to study the person and examine what that person might or might not believe. Liars, often sociopaths, are known to "study" the person they hope to take advantage of.
2. Don't forget that the liar lacks empathy: As hard as it is to believe, it is true. The liar doesn't have any consciousness of how the lying behavior may make you feel. The liar doesn't think before he lies: "oh, I better not say that or I could hurt that person or mislead them." The liar doesn't care anything about your feelings and never will. A question many parents have asked their child who lies is: "Why don't you just tell me the truth. Why is that so hard!?" As easy as it is for you to think this way, it's not that easy for the liar. The liar lacks the ability to consider what you might feel in response to their lie (which is empathy).
3. Most "normal" liars feel guilty and are relieved when you change the topic or stop asking questions: This was an interesting clue that I learned about as I studied forensic psychology as a graduate student some years ago. I found that the pathological liar often shows no emotion when lying, which makes them believable. The person who is lying and has a sense of empathy or consciousness, will often show relief when the topic is changed. For example, if someone told you that they grew up in a concentration camp and experienced a lot of trauma as a result, you would ask questions about it to further understand. If you changed the topic at the point when you observed stress or anxiety in response to your questions, you would see the person may be lying and is well aware of the consequences of that lying. Most of us will relax when others cease from asking so many questions. A pathological liar is not fazed.
4. All liars don't do the common things you think liars do: Believe it or not, liars don't always touch their nose, shift in their seats or from one foot to the next, or even look sneaky. Some really experienced liars are good at giving you direct eye contact, seeming relaxed or "laid back," and may appear very sociable. The thing to look for is eye contact that feels piercing. Some sociopaths have learned how to evade people with direct eye contact, sociable smiles, and humor. Trust your instincts and discernment here.
5. The most sneaky liars are manipulative: I once heard someone say "we all manipulate." While this might be true (although I disagree), the liar tends to manipulate more than anyone else and has learned how to become a "pro" at doing it. There is nothing impressive about the dangerous or evil manipulator. They know everything to say and do, they know what you want and don't want, and again, they study you. In fact, many pathological liars (and sociopaths who lie) use sexual or emotional arousal to distract you from the truth. Watch someone who seems to be directing their attention to you in such a way as to stimulate your arousal in some way. That arousal could be psychological (peaking your interest), emotional (causing you to feel connected to them), or sexual.
6. Pathological liars exhibit strange behaviors: Can you remember how you felt, perhaps as a child or teen, after you were caught lying to a teacher, a parent, or friend? Did you feel guilty, sad, or afraid that the other person would no longer accept you? Some research suggests that some pathological liars show no discomfort when caught lying, while other studies suggest that liars may become aggressive and angry when caught. No pathological liar is the same.