Uzi maalum wa kupeana Likes: Comment chochote upate "Like"

ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,521

9:33
AMUN RA

 

ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,522

You can do it!

 

ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,523

Believe me, you can do it!

 

ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,524

It's easy!

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,525

BABA: mwanangu mbona skuizi wapenda niita DAD badala ya BABA
BINTI : kuita baba kunamaliza lipstick.

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,526

Meneja wa teknolojia wa tume ya uchaguzi Kenya atoweka - BBC Swahili

 

moudgulf

JF-Expert Member

Jan 23, 2017

159,165

777,891

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,527

"Nyinyi WAKULIMA, kwakweli MBARIKIWE sana sana, nyinyi ni muhimili wa nchi, nyinyi mnalisha watanzania ml 48+ pamoja na wageni wetu, lakini pia mnalisha nchi jirani. Mbarikiwe kwakuwa pamoja na kazi ngumu mlizonazo lakini lakini hamjalalamikia zana duni, bei duni, ukosefu/upungufu wa maofisa ugani. Wala hamjawahi kugoma wa kutishia kama wanavyofanya watu wa kada nyingine.MBARIKIWE kwakuwa pia mnafanya maamuzi mengi ambayo ndiyo yanayoleta mwongozo kwa nchi yetu. MBARIKIWE kwakuwa huwa hamkulupuki kwenye maamuzi yenu"

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ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,528

IT IS TIME!

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,529

Mchungaji leo kajipendekeza kumuita kijana mmoja mtanashati utufungulie ibada kwa maombi, watu wote wakafumba macho na jamaa akaanza! EE GOD TAZAMA WANAO TUKO FITI KISHENZI, HAMNA NOMA WALA NDUMBA, AMANI MWANZO MWISHO, YANI MZUKA ILE MBAYA. MWANAO ALIDEDI MSALABANI KISA MAWENGE YETU CC MAJITA, NAJUA UNATUPIGANIA KICHIZI, YANI GOD NIMEKUBALI WEWE NI JEMBE NA MSHUA WA WOTE, AMEN .Mchungaji hoi, KUMBE JAMAA ALISHA VUTA CHA TARIME MARA‍

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,530

BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake*:
*Wiki hii tutaenda wote Serena Hotel kwenye mkutano fanya mipango yote.*

SEKRETARI (anamuaga mumewe):
Tunaenda na bosi Serena hotel kwenye mkutano for 1 week.

MUME (anampigia mpango wa kando):
Mambo safi, wife anaenda kikazi Serena, jitayarishe tujipe raha for 1 week

(Mpango wa kando) anamwambia mwanafunzi wake wa tution:
wiki hii nina kazi fulani hakuna tution mpaka week ijayo.

MWANAFUNZI anampigia simu sugar daddy wake ambaye ndo (BOSS):
Dear hakuna tution wiki hii nakuja kwako.....

BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake:
Siendi Serena tena coz mjukuu wangu atanitembelea.

SEKRETARI: Mume wangu hatuendi Serena

MUME (anampigia Mpango):
dah! mpenzi, huyu fala haendi tena. Shit! So hadi next time plz

Mpango wa kando a.k.a teacher (anampigia mwanafunzi):
Darasa kama kawaida sorry for the earlier message.

MWANAFUNZI: darling tution
inaendelea kumbe, so nakuja wiki ijayo!!

BOSS: Sekretari sorry jitayarishe ile safari ya serena iko palepale......

HOW DO YOU HELP THESE PEOPLE?

*Mnasemanga Food chain mnakosea hii sijui tuiite nini???*

 

ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,531

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,532

SONG: JELA
ARTISTS: AVEVA & KABURU Feat HANS POPE
PRODUCER: TAKUKURU
STUDIO: JPM RECORDS

Tangu Tufungwe Siku Ya Tatu Imefikaa
Bora Leo Hii Hans Pope Umefikaaa
Tupe Ripot Za Usajili Msimbazii
Twasikia Ngoma Amebaki Jangwaniiii

Kusema Kweli Mambo Sasa Magumuuu
Haruna Naye Hapokei Hata Simu
Si Unamkumbuka Yule Tambwe Mabaoooo
Naye Kabaki Yani Yanga Warohooo

Kwa Hali Hiyo Ubingwa Hatupati Tenaa
Na Mwaka Huu Watabeba Mapemaa
Mo Afanye Ile Mipango Yetuuu
Japo Tushike Nafasi Ya Tatuu

Hiv Ni Kipi Hasa Kisa Na Mkasa
Kilichofanya Mpaka Sasa Mko Hapa
Nimesikia Eti Mmeiba Pesaa

Hiyo Ni Kweli Hatuwez Kubishaaaa

CHORUS

Hiiiiiiiiii Iiiiiiiiii
Pole Saaaaanaaaa
Hiiiiiiii Iiiiiiiii
Nyamaza Acha Kuliaaaaaa x2

Yani hiiii iiiiihhh mavugo anakusabahiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

yani iiiih iiiih iiiih Manara na kichuya wanakupa hii.....

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,533

Kama una stress, Pitia hapa! Usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako!

 

ISIS

JF-Expert Member

Apr 20, 2016

96,072

858,588

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,534

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,535

Jamaa mmoja alkua na tabia akilala na mke wake wakiwa faragha raha ikimkolea anapiga makelele,mpk majirani wanackia.siku moja jirani yke mzee hamisi akamwambia hivyo unavyo fanya ni makosa na ni aibu sana,watu wote wanajua ww na mkeo mnafanya nn...jamaa akajibidiisha kwa cku mbili hakupiga kelele.siku ya tatu jamaa akashindwa kustahmili kwa raha ilivyo mkolea akaanza kupiga kelele,"aaaaah,mzee hamisi nisamehe sanaaaa, hamisi aaaaaash,nisamehe ntamaliza xaxa hiviii aaaaaaaah!!!...mzee hamisi akafungua dirisha,akamwambia piga kelele uwezavyo lkn uctaje jina langu majirani watajua umelala na mimi mwanaharamu wewe..tena unikome mbwa wewe.

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,536

STORI YA KUTISHA.

Siku moja mume na mke baada ya kuishi miaka mingi bila yakupata mtoto
Hatimae Wakaamua kuchkua uamuzi wa kwenda kwa mganga..

Itaendelea wakirudi...
Maana nimewaacha wanapanda baiskeli yao kuelekea huko

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,537

MWACHE MCHAGGA AITWE MCHAGGA
Jamaa mmoja toka kiboriloni alienda Benki na kuomba mkopo wa shilingi 200,000 ili asafiri kwenda Dar. Ofisa mikopo akamwambia lazima ajaze fomu fulani na awe na kitu cha kuweka dhamana. Mdau akajaza fomu kisha akakabidhi funguo za benzi yake aliyokuja nayo pamoja na nyaraka za umiliki wake kwa meneja. Ofisa mikopo akaiingiza gari kwenye yadi ya benki na kumpa mchagga laki mbili yake. Kilichomshangaza meneja wa benki ni kuwa benzi ile ina thamani ya Milioni 255,000,000 na kuwa iweje mwenye gari kama hii amekosa 200,000. Baada ya wiki 2 mchagga akarudi na kurejesha mkopo wote pamoja na riba ya shilingi 15,000. Afisa mikopo akafurahi lakini akamuuliza, inawezekanaje una gari la thamani hivi na ukaangaika kupata mkopo wa shilingi laki 2? Mchagga akamjibu, Ni wapi hapa Moshi utapata mahali salama kupaki gari yako kwa wiki mbili kwa kodi ya shilingi 15,000 tu?

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,538

*yaani kipindi* *hiki kweli* *uchumi umekuwa* *mgumu maana* *hata wale* *wachawi waliokuwa* *wanatulisha vyakula* *ndotoni wamesitisha* *huduma*

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,539

Mwalimu:Kwanini Jana haukuwepo darasan? Mwanafunzi :Baba yangu alikuwa hospitali...... baada ya siku Saba. Mwalimu:Baba yako bado yupo hospitali? Mwanafunzi:Ndio....ni Daktari..

 

Numbisa

JF-Expert Member

Dec 12, 2016

348,970

1,252,247

• Jul 31, 2017

• #216,540

BABA: mwanangu mbona skuizi wapenda niita DAD badala ya BABA
BINTI : kuita baba kunamaliza lipstick.