Wazazi/mzazi wa binti

[Jomse]

Someni Biblia, muongozo jinsi ya kulea watoto wenu iko mule imetulia, hizo mbwembwe za kizungu ni kizungumkuti tu hazina msaada. Punguzeni uzungu, mtoto wa miaka 12 unamnunulia blackberry aingie facebook, tv mnaweka DSTV watoto wanaangalia makorokocha yasiyokuwa na msingi kisa mna hela za kuwawekea.



Carol watoto wa siku hizi hawana formula.Kwa mfano Utamkataza kuangalia DSTV ,Marufuku kuwa na simu wala kupigiana simu,baada ya taarifa ya habari ya saa mbili usiku ni kwenda kulala.Hivyo hamna cha kuangalia tamthilia.Utapiga marufuku magazeti ya udaku lakini mtoto huyo huyo atakuja kukusimulia shade of sin na second chance na kila kitu kinachoendelea katika tamthilia.Habari zote hizi anazipata shuleni kwa kusimuliwa na wenzake.
Ni kweli kuna wazazi wengine wako loose sana kwa watoto wao kiasi kwamba wanatuangusha.
Kuna nyimbo watoto wangu wanaziimba vizuri mpaka nashangaa wamejifunzia wapi wakati hiyo redio hawana muda wa kuzisikiliza.Uzuri nikiwahoji wananijibu kwamba wamesikia wenzao wakiimba.

 

[Masaki]

...most parents worst nightmare; ni pale wazazi wa binti wanapotarifiwa mtoto wao ameconceive, ni mjamzito...au hata, ameathirika kwa UKIMWI.

...achilia mbali matayarisho ya kiroho, ni mambo gani muhimu ya kuzingatiwa kuhakikisha unamvusha salama binti kwenye temptations za ujanani, ili hata huko mbele ya safari asije ijutia CV yake kwa idadi ya sexual partners, numbers of abortions, magonjwa ya zinaa na heartbreaks nyinginezo? ...nazungumzia binti chini ya miaka 21 (ishirini na moja)...

...michango yenu kina mama na kina baba tafadhalini.

Huyo binti hapo mbona kama ana mawazo sana>? Katendwa nini?

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

Mbu,
Asante kwa kuleta mada nzuri na muhimu kwa jamii.

Naona mengi yameshazungumzwa nawachangiaji waliotangulia.Nitaongezea machache tu kama ifuatavyo:

1. Inabidi wazazi/walezi watambue kuwa malezi ya sasa na yale ya zamani ni tofauti.Hii inatokana na 'maendeleo" yaliyopiga hatua kwa wema na ubaya.Changamoto zilizopo miaka ya sasa ni tofauti na zile za enzi zileeee. Siku hizi kuna madhara makubwa zaidi ya yale ya zama zile.Enzi zile hofu ya wazazi ilikuwa ni binti kupata mimba.Hata magonjwa ya zinaa yaliyoweza kuathiri uzazi hapo mbeleni haikuwa ishu kivile.Siku hizi kuna mimba kama "athari ndogo" inayoweza kuzuilika ( dawa za kuzuia mimba zipo na hata condom) na UKIMWI ukiwa jangaa kuu la kuogopwa! Hofu ya wazazi kuhusu UKIMWI ni kubwa kweli japo hakuna jitihada kubwa sana kwa wazazi kuingilia kati kuwanusuru watoto kwa maana ya kuzuia! Juhudi kuu wameachiwa walimu mashuleni na walimu wengine wa duniani ikiwemo technolojia - internet, magazeti, TV nk, marafiki na rika! Zamani jamii ilihangaika kufunda watoto kwa kupitia shangazi, kungwi, somo etc. Siku hizi "walimu' hawa sijui kama wanayo fursa ya kuongezea kwenye" mitaala" ya elimu ya kufunda somo la UKIMWI na mimba za utotoni.

2. Kuna changamoto ya kujua ni umri gani hasa mzazi/mlezi anapaswa kuanza kuchukua hatua kumwelimisha mtoto.Kufuatana na michango hapo juu na hata maoni ya wanajamii wengine, kuna mtizamo kuwa wazazi waanze kuelimisha watoto katika umri wa kuanza shule ya msingi, wengine chekechekea! Binafsi nina mashaka na hili. Ninaona kuna changamoto hapa.Kwanza tujue kuna changamoto inayohusiana na njia za kupata habari. Nijuavyo mimi watoto wadogo sana wanaanza kuangalia cartoon kwenye TV toka wakiwa hata hawajajua kuongea! Najua kuna cartoon zenye content "mbaya" inayoanza kuchochea mambo ya "ngono" na wazazi wengi hudhania kuwa cartoons ni salama hazina madhara. Nadhani wazazi wanaweza kusaidia kufuatilia kujua mtoto anangaalia nini toka akiwa mdogo. Mzazi anapaswa kuanza kuongea na watoto toka umri mdogo sana kutegemea na maisha wanayOishi na mwingiliano wa kijamii. Ukichelewa sana ukakuta mtoto keshapata habari wewe huna habari, halafu uje na "elimu yako" iliyopitwa na matukio na wakati...mtoto atakuwa anakuchora tu.

3. Mzazi/MLEZI jaribu kujenga "urafiki" na mwanao bila kuondoa heshima ya wewe kuwa mzazi.Jaribu ku balance hii hali - urafiki uwe ule wa kumpa mtoto confidence aweze kukufuata kwa ushauri na kukuamini.Jaribu kuwa wa kwanza kumfikia mwanao na ushauri kabla hajautafuta kwingine ambako ana uwezekano wa kupata taarifa na ushauri potofu hasa kwa marafiki na mitandao na machapisho.

4. Enzi za kudhania kuwa mwanao ni malaika zimepita.Utakuja kushangaa pale mwanao anajua mambo makubwa zaidi ya uyajuayo wewe.Mara zote mdadisi mwanao ujue Anajua nini ili umsaidia kuweka taarifa sawa na sahihi.

5 Ikitokea mwanao kaanguka kwenye mitego na kupata mimba au UKIMWI basi usimnyanyapae na kumtenga bali uendelee kumpenda na kumsaidia kupata huduma zinazohitajika kufuatana na hali yake kwa maana mwana akikuchafua mkono, hautaukata bali utauosha na kuendelea kuutumia.

 

[Mbu]

Mbu,
Asante kwa kuleta mada nzuri na muhimu kwa jamii.

Naona mengi yameshazungumzwa nawachangiaji waliotangulia.Nitaongezea machache tu kama ifuatavyo:

1. Inabidi wazazi/walezi watambue kuwa malezi ya sasa na yale ya zamani ni tofauti.Hii inatokana na 'maendeleo" yaliyopiga hatua kwa wema na ubaya.Changamoto zilizopo miaka ya sasa ni tofauti na zile za enzi zileeee. Siku hizi kuna madhara makubwa zaidi ya yale ya zama zile.Enzi zile hofu ya wazazi ilikuwa ni binti kupata mimba.Hata magonjwa ya zinaa yaliyoweza kuathiri uzazi hapo mbeleni haikuwa ishu kivile.Siku hizi kuna mimba kama "athari ndogo" inayoweza kuzuilika ( dawa za kuzuia mimba zipo na hata condom) na UKIMWI ukiwa jangaa kuu la kuogopwa! Hofu ya wazazi kuhusu UKIMWI ni kubwa kweli japo hakuna jitihada kubwa sana kwa wazazi kuingilia kati kuwanusuru watoto kwa maana ya kuzuia! Juhudi kuu wameachiwa walimu mashuleni na walimu wengine wa duniani ikiwemo technolojia - internet, magazeti, TV nk, marafiki na rika! Zamani jamii ilihangaika kufunda watoto kwa kupitia shangazi, kungwi, somo etc. Siku hizi "walimu' hawa sijui kama wanayo fursa ya kuongezea kwenye" mitaala" ya elimu ya kufunda somo la UKIMWI na mimba za utotoni.

2. Kuna changamoto ya kujua ni umri gani hasa mzazi/mlezi anapaswa kuanza kuchukua hatua kumwelimisha mtoto.Kufuatana na michango hapo juu na hata maoni ya wanajamii wengine, kuna mtizamo kuwa wazazi waanze kuelimisha watoto katika umri wa kuanza shule ya msingi, wengine chekechekea! Binafsi nina mashaka na hili. Ninaona kuna changamoto hapa.Kwanza tujue kuna changamoto inayohusiana na njia za kupata habari. Nijuavyo mimi watoto wadogo sana wanaanza kuangalia cartoon kwenye TV toka wakiwa hata hawajajua kuongea! Najua kuna cartoon zenye content "mbaya" inayoanza kuchochea mambo ya "ngono" na wazazi wengi hudhania kuwa cartoons ni salama hazina madhara. Nadhani wazazi wanaweza kusaidia kufuatilia kujua mtoto anangaalia nini toka akiwa mdogo. Mzazi anapaswa kuanza kuongea na watoto toka umri mdogo sana kutegemea na maisha wanayOishi na mwingiliano wa kijamii. Ukichelewa sana ukakuta mtoto keshapata habari wewe huna habari, halafu uje na "elimu yako" iliyopitwa na matukio na wakati...mtoto atakuwa anakuchora tu.

3. Mzazi/MLEZI jaribu kujenga "urafiki" na mwanao bila kuondoa heshima ya wewe kuwa mzazi.Jaribu ku balance hii hali - urafiki uwe ule wa kumpa mtoto confidence aweze kukufuata kwa ushauri na kukuamini.Jaribu kuwa wa kwanza kumfikia mwanao na ushauri kabla hajautafuta kwingine ambako ana uwezekano wa kupata taarifa na ushauri potofu hasa kwa marafiki na mitandao na machapisho.

4. Enzi za kudhania kuwa mwanao ni malaika zimepita.Utakuja kushangaa pale mwanao anajua mambo makubwa zaidi ya uyajuayo wewe.Mara zote mdadisi mwanao ujue Anajua nini ili umsaidia kuweka taarifa sawa na sahihi.

5 Ikitokea mwanao kaanguka kwenye mitego na kupata mimba au UKIMWI basi usimnyanyapae na kumtenga bali uendelee kumpenda na kumsaidia kupata huduma zinazohitajika kufuatana na hali yake kwa maana mwana akikuchafua mkono, hautaukata bali utauosha na kuendelea kuutumia.

...dahhh, wos nakushukuru sana kwa mchango wako...umeweka msisitozo mzuri sana na haswa nimevutiwa kwenye hayo niliyoyapa wekundu...

ubarikiwe sana, ahsante sana.

 

[AshaDii]

Mbu I am Soo tired... sijapitia the whole thread, but once i get time i will... Naamini kua mmeongea mengi ya Msingi katika hii thread... and i know sitakua disappointed.... Mie kama kawaida nataka niongee out of experience mie nikiwa kama huyo binti ambae umemuweka hapo...

Nikiwa 18 years i got pregnant.... I was so scared! Sikuweza confide kwa rafiki... ndugu ama mzazi yoyote tokana na ukweli kua i was so passive na nilikua sishirikish mtu mambo yangu... Sikua na makundi... nilikua mpole... nilikua an alone type of person....yaani kati ya wale mabinti role model (mie nilikua katika kundi la Mnamuona Asha?? Kwa nini hamuwezi kua kama Asha??) Imagine how fraustrated i was nilipopata mimba... My boyfriend alichanganyikiwa na kuamua kua tuoane... which i gladly accepted.. Wazazi nilipowambia nimepata mchumba... siku hio for the first time nilishuhudia babangu na mamangu wakigombana... LIVE! It was scary for My dad alikua anam-adore saaana mamangu.... Siku hio alikua anamlaum kua yeye kasababisha nitake kuolewa at such a young age... WHY?? I don't know, but sasa i have grown up naona Dad alikua na hasira alihitaji pakuitulia.... na mom was the closest.... Wakanikatalia i am too young to get married... I thot of abortion... but then i did not have the guts... nikiamini nikitoa mimba nitafariki...

I did what had to be done... told them i was pregnant..... One of the worst experience ever..... Imagine both my parents thot i was still a virgin.. it was a shocker to them... Hawaliamini kama kweli nilikua najua mwanaume yupo vipi.... mamangu the next day was on bed Sick....

Back to the Topic..... Mzazi anaumia.... mtoto anaumia, inahitaji busara ya juu saana upande wa wazazi kuweza pass thru such experiences... and thank GOD! They supported me thou kwa kinyongo.... I can not imagine ya kugundua kua ana HIV/AIDs... I have a daughter na the imagination is killing me!

 

[King’asti]

u were brave darling, and u and ur parents survived the trauma. na imeonesha the value of family. no matter what,no matter how hard it is, mchuma janga anakula na wa kwao! pole,i wish u could gave the courage to share ur mess na mwanao. do u see it possible? im glad u crossed the bridge.. well, safely and here we have u

Mbu I am Soo tired... sijapitia the whole thread, but once i get time i will... Naamini kua mmeongea mengi ya Msingi katika hii thread... and i know sitakua disappointed.... Mie kama kawaida nataka niongee out of experience mie nikiwa kama huyo binti ambae umemuweka hapo...

Nikiwa 18 years i got pregnant.... I was so scared! Sikuweza confide kwa rafiki... ndugu ama mzazi yoyote tokana na ukweli kua i was so passive na nilikua sishirikish mtu mambo yangu... Sikua na makundi... nilikua mpole... nilikua an alone type of person....yaani kati ya wale mabinti role model (mie nilikua katika kundi la Mnamuona Asha?? Kwa nini hamuwezi kua kama Asha??) Imagine how fraustrated i was nilipopata mimba... My boyfriend alichanganyikiwa na kuamua kua tuoane... which i gladly accepted.. Wazazi nilipowambia nimepata mchumba... siku hio for the first time nilishuhudia babangu na mamangu wakigombana... LIVE! It was scary for My dad alikua anam-adore saaana mamangu.... Siku hio alikua anamlaum kua yeye kasababisha nitake kuolewa at such a young age... WHY?? I don't know, but sasa i have grown up naona Dad alikua na hasira alihitaji pakuitulia.... na mom was the closest.... Wakanikatalia i am too young to get married... I thot of abortion... but then i did not have the guts... nikiamini nikitoa mimba nitafariki...

I did what had to be done... told them i was pregnant..... One of the worst experience ever..... Imagine both my parents thot i was still a virgin.. it was a shocker to them... Hawaliamini kama kweli nilikua najua mwanaume yupo vipi.... mamangu the next day was on bed Sick....

Back to the Topic..... Mzazi anaumia.... mtoto anaumia, inahitaji busara ya juu saana upande wa wazazi kuweza pass thru such experiences... and thank GOD! They supported me thou kwa kinyongo.... I can not imagine ya kugundua kua ana HIV/AIDs... I have a daughter na the imagination is killing me!

 

[AshaDii]

u were brave darling, and u and ur parents survived the trauma. na imeonesha the value of family. no matter what,no matter how hard it is, mchuma janga anakula na wa kwao! pole,i wish u could gave the courage to share ur mess na mwanao. do u see it possible? im glad u crossed the bridge.. well, safely and here we have u

Wifi King... now thats the thing.... Mwanangu ni vice versa ya the way nilikua.... i feel like i don't know her at all!! And to me she is more like my kid sis than a daughter... She is aggressive, ni mbishi, she does not give a damn about any body; If i was half of what she is right now.... I would have done a lot of things differently, thou i never regret for i am what i am becoz ya mambo nimepitia.... Most of all she is a Charmer and i am Proud i did not have the guts to abort.... Once in a while i think of what a wonderful beautiful thing i would have lost.... Watoto RAHA jamani... mwache Mungu aitwe Mungu.... Na ni kweli, familia yetu tupo sooo close.... hivo tunajaliana saana...

 

[King’asti]

i am already in lov with ur kids. aisee,mie sipendi watoto wa 'yes mom', i looked like the black sheep in the family. mamangu alifariki dingi alikua anapiga simu tu kuna vijana wamekuja hapa, maskini anajiuliza sasa hapa mkwe sijui ndo yupi! its good she is a liberal. wa hivyo huwa hawanaswi manake ukianza na body language zile za the boss anakuambia 'vipi,unataka kuniimbisha?'. i am so proud of ur decision. if u start speaking her language u will understand her! hebu mlete kwa aunt yake amvutishe suba kidogo na kumfundisha ku-shoot anyone on her way,lol!

Wifi King... now thats the thing.... Mwanangu ni vice versa ya the way nilikua.... i feel like i don't know her at all!! And to me she is more like my kid sis than a daughter... She is aggressive, ni mbishi, she does not give a damn about any body; If i was half of what she is right now.... I would have done a lot of things differently, thou i never regret for i am what i am becoz ya mambo nimepitia.... Most of all she is a Charmer and i am Proud i did not have the guts to abort.... Once in a while i think of what a wonderful beautiful thing i would have lost.... Watoto RAHA jamani... mwache Mungu aitwe Mungu.... Na ni kweli, familia yetu tupo sooo close.... hivo tunajaliana saana...

 

[AshaDii]

i am already in lov with ur kids. aisee,mie sipendi watoto wa 'yes mom', i looked like the black sheep in the family. mamangu alifariki dingi alikua anapiga simu tu kuna vijana wamekuja hapa, maskini anajiuliza sasa hapa mkwe sijui ndo yupi! its good she is a liberal. wa hivyo huwa hawanaswi manake ukianza na body language zile za the boss anakuambia 'vipi,unataka kuniimbisha?'. i am so proud of ur decision. if u start speaking her language u will understand her! hebu mlete kwa aunt yake amvutishe suba kidogo na kumfundisha ku-shoot anyone on her way,lol!

Oh! King.... I am so sorry about you Mom... May she REST IN PEACE... Siwezi shangaa kuhusu Black sheep of the family thou... wewe King ni black sheep ya JF....lol.... (But still i Love you hivo hivo to me you are Perfect!!!) I cannot imagine the agony ya baba deciding yupi ndo Mkwe!! lol.... Yaani... Hizo ndo bittersweet Memories worth remembering... Na usijali my kids lazima wamuone Aunty bana alomchanganya uncle wao...lol
(Wifi I am so tired hivo logging out, kilichonileta ni thread ya Sweetie - Hivi umeona alivochanganikiwa?? yaani still thinking cha kumfanya hapa)

 

[Husninyo]

Barikiwa mbu kwa thread nzuri. Ngoja wengine tubaki kuwa wasomaji.

 

[King’asti]

dont tell me! yaani najiskia mtakatifu flani hivi,kha! inabidi hii tabia sasa niiloweke kwenye new omo iliyo na powerfoam google plus,lol! ila umenipooza hapo kwenye red (bichwa limeumuka na moyo unapwita,hehehe). dingi tu alikua na wasiwasi ila mom alinielewa uzuri kichaa wake na angewa-interview kwa style ya MJ1,lol! (haya mwke wangu ajitambulishe haraka na kitenge hapa)
usiku mwema wifi,pole na majukumu.huyo kakangu dawa yake muoneshe mapenzi yote hadi ajute kuchanganyikiwa huku jukwaani!

Oh! King.... I am so sorry about you Mom... May she REST IN PEACE... Siwezi shangaa kuhusu Black sheep of the family thou... wewe King ni black sheep ya JF....lol.... (But still i Love you hivo hivo to me you are Perfect!!!) I cannot imagine the agony ya baba deciding yupi ndo Mkwe!! lol.... Yaani... Hizo ndo bittersweet Memories worth remembering... Na usijali my kids lazima wamuone Aunty bana alomchanganya uncle wao...lol
(Wifi I am so tired hivo logging out, kilichonileta ni thread ya Sweetie - Hivi umeona alivochanganikiwa?? yaani still thinking cha kumfanya hapa)

 

[Mbu]

Mbu I am Soo tired... sijapitia the whole thread, but once i get time i will... Naamini kua mmeongea mengi ya Msingi katika hii thread... and i know sitakua disappointed.... Mie kama kawaida nataka niongee out of experience mie nikiwa kama huyo binti ambae umemuweka hapo...

Nikiwa 18 years i got pregnant.... I was so scared! Sikuweza confide kwa rafiki... ndugu ama mzazi yoyote tokana na ukweli kua i was so passive na nilikua sishirikish mtu mambo yangu... Sikua na makundi... nilikua mpole... nilikua an alone type of person....yaani kati ya wale mabinti role model (mie nilikua katika kundi la Mnamuona Asha?? Kwa nini hamuwezi kua kama Asha??) Imagine how fraustrated i was nilipopata mimba... My boyfriend alichanganyikiwa na kuamua kua tuoane... which i gladly accepted.. Wazazi nilipowambia nimepata mchumba... siku hio for the first time nilishuhudia babangu na mamangu wakigombana... LIVE! It was scary for My dad alikua anam-adore saaana mamangu.... Siku hio alikua anamlaum kua yeye kasababisha nitake kuolewa at such a young age... WHY?? I don't know, but sasa i have grown up naona Dad alikua na hasira alihitaji pakuitulia.... na mom was the closest.... Wakanikatalia i am too young to get married... I thot of abortion... but then i did not have the guts... nikiamini nikitoa mimba nitafariki...

I did what had to be done... told them i was pregnant..... One of the worst experience ever..... Imagine both my parents thot i was still a virgin.. it was a shocker to them... Hawaliamini kama kweli nilikua najua mwanaume yupo vipi.... mamangu the next day was on bed Sick....

Back to the Topic..... Mzazi anaumia.... mtoto anaumia, inahitaji busara ya juu saana upande wa wazazi kuweza pass thru such experiences... and thank GOD! They supported me thou kwa kinyongo.... I can not imagine ya kugundua kua ana HIV/AIDs... I have a daughter na the imagination is killing me!

woooowww, again wooooowww!

ashadii thanks so very much for this very useful posting, pheeewwwww!
umetoa mfano mzuri sana kwenye thread hii na historia ya maisha yako...yaani kwa upande
mwingine naweza sema umenifanya hata mimi niji reflect ilikuwaje kwani kwangu;

Wifi King... now thats the thing.... Mwanangu ni vice versa ya the way nilikua.... i feel like i don't know her at all!! And to me she is more like my kid sis than a daughter... She is aggressive, ni mbishi, she does not give a damn about any body; If i was half of what she is right now.... I would have done a lot of things differently, thou i never regret for i am what i am becoz ya mambo nimepitia.... Most of all she is a Charmer and i am Proud i did not have the guts to abort.... Once in a while i think of what a wonderful beautiful thing i would have lost.... Watoto RAHA jamani... mwache Mungu aitwe Mungu.... Na ni kweli, familia yetu tupo sooo close.... hivo tunajaliana saana...

...hahhh, kapumzike tu mydear, you deserve a standing ovation kwakweli usiku huu...
thank you very much for sharing bana....

 

[Mbu]

....most parents worst nightmare! ewe mwenyezi mungu tunusuru!

can we share some worst nightmares jamani, maana naona suala la malezi tushafika tamati...

 

[Mbimbinho]

...most parents worst nightmare; ni pale wazazi wa binti wanapotarifiwa mtoto wao ameconceive, ni mjamzito...au hata, ameathirika kwa UKIMWI.

...achilia mbali matayarisho ya kiroho, ni mambo gani muhimu ya kuzingatiwa kuhakikisha unamvusha salama binti kwenye temptations za ujanani, ili hata huko mbele ya safari asije ijutia CV yake kwa idadi ya sexual partners, numbers of abortions, magonjwa ya zinaa na heartbreaks nyinginezo? ...nazungumzia binti chini ya miaka 21 (ishirini na moja)...

...michango yenu kina mama na kina baba tafadhalini.

​

Mkuu Mbu, ingawa ww ni adui wa watu kwa kusababisha maradhi, but kwa leo itabidi nisipulize RUNGU Spray ili tuijadili hii kitu..lolz.
Nimesoma comments zote, kwa kweli kuna kitu kipya ambacho nimekipata.
Ningependa kujitolea mfano mimi. Nina rafiki wa kike ambaye kiumri nimempita 5 years, yeye atakuwa 19 Dec. Yeye yupo form six kwa now na mimi nipo chuo last year. Siku moja aliniambia kuwa one time aliporudi likizo wakiwa wametoka na mama yake (Siyo wa kumzaa) katika hali ya urafiki akamuuliza mambo ya mahusiano. Mama mtu akamuomba awe huru na muwazi, asiogope chochote maana linawezatokea la kutokea akajiweka katika wakati mgumu. Kwa jinsi mama'ke alivyoongea binti akajikuta anamwambia A-Z kuhusu uhusiano wetu. Mama akamuuliza binti yake kama anauhakika kuwa nampenda yeye binti na vice versa, akamuhakikishia kuwa anaamini tunapendana. Basi mama akaomba anifahamu, ndipo one day akanicall nikaongea naye vizuri tu, akawa anaongea na mimi ka mwanaye( Kwa kweli I felt gud) Last june nilipokuwa likizo mama huyo alinikaribisha nyumbani kwao. Kwasasa nafahamiana hata na kaka wa binti na baadhi ya ndugu (Sijui baba yake, Mungu apishie mbali asiwe Asprin, nisijefanywa ndafu maana kwa family kuna mabinti wawili tu..lolz). Tumechange phone numbers with her mother and brother na tunawasiliana sometimes. Kwa sasa najihisi nipo huru zaidi na nipo more care with my GF maana sitaki kuharibu trust niliyopewa.
I think one day I'd love to live open wazi with my kids.
Nawakilisha bandugu.

 

[Gaga]

Mkuu Mbu, ingawa ww ni adui wa watu kwa kusababisha maradhi, but kwa leo itabidi nisipulize RUNGU Spray ili tuijadili hii kitu..lolz.
Nimesoma comments zote, kwa kweli kuna kitu kipya ambacho nimekipata.
Ningependa kujitolea mfano mimi. Nina rafiki wa kike ambaye kiumri nimempita 5 years, yeye atakuwa 19 Dec. Yeye yupo form six kwa now na mimi nipo chuo last year. Siku moja aliniambia kuwa one time aliporudi likizo wakiwa wametoka na mama yake (Siyo wa kumzaa) katika hali ya urafiki akamuuliza mambo ya mahusiano. Mama mtu akamuomba awe huru na muwazi, asiogope chochote maana linawezatokea la kutokea akajiweka katika wakati mgumu. Kwa jinsi mama'ke alivyoongea binti akajikuta anamwambia A-Z kuhusu uhusiano wetu. Mama akamuuliza binti yake kama anauhakika kuwa nampenda yeye binti na vice versa, akamuhakikishia kuwa anaamini tunapendana. Basi mama akaomba anifahamu, ndipo one day akanicall nikaongea naye vizuri tu, akawa anaongea na mimi ka mwanaye( Kwa kweli I felt gud) Last june nilipokuwa likizo mama huyo alinikaribisha nyumbani kwao. Kwasasa nafahamiana hata na kaka wa binti na baadhi ya ndugu (Sijui baba yake, Mungu apishie mbali asiwe Asprin maana kwa family kuna mabinti wawili tu..lolz). Kwa sasa najihisi nipo huru zaidi na nipo more care with my GF maana sitaki kuharibu trust niliyopewa.
I think one day I'd love to live open wazi with my kids.
Nawakilisha bandugu.

Nice, mie ningekuw a nao wa kike ningefanya kama huyo mama, but nina kabinti nime ka adopt nahisi nitakuwa mama mzuri sana kwake, sasa na wewe usije haribu hiyo trust kama ulivosema utavunja imani waliyokuwekea,huu ni ushuhuda mzuri tu, kuhusu Asprin wala usiwe na wasiwasi najua namna ya kumzibiti

 

[TIMING]

Mbu I am Soo tired... sijapitia the whole thread, but once i get time i will... Naamini kua mmeongea mengi ya Msingi katika hii thread... and i know sitakua disappointed.... Mie kama kawaida nataka niongee out of experience mie nikiwa kama huyo binti ambae umemuweka hapo...

Nikiwa 18 years i got pregnant.... I was so scared! Sikuweza confide kwa rafiki... ndugu ama mzazi yoyote tokana na ukweli kua i was so passive na nilikua sishirikish mtu mambo yangu... Sikua na makundi... nilikua mpole... nilikua an alone type of person....yaani kati ya wale mabinti role model (mie nilikua katika kundi la Mnamuona Asha?? Kwa nini hamuwezi kua kama Asha??) Imagine how fraustrated i was nilipopata mimba... My boyfriend alichanganyikiwa na kuamua kua tuoane... which i gladly accepted.. Wazazi nilipowambia nimepata mchumba... siku hio for the first time nilishuhudia babangu na mamangu wakigombana... LIVE! It was scary for My dad alikua anam-adore saaana mamangu.... Siku hio alikua anamlaum kua yeye kasababisha nitake kuolewa at such a young age... WHY?? I don't know, but sasa i have grown up naona Dad alikua na hasira alihitaji pakuitulia.... na mom was the closest.... Wakanikatalia i am too young to get married... I thot of abortion... but then i did not have the guts... nikiamini nikitoa mimba nitafariki...

I did what had to be done... told them i was pregnant..... One of the worst experience ever..... Imagine both my parents thot i was still a virgin.. it was a shocker to them... Hawaliamini kama kweli nilikua najua mwanaume yupo vipi.... mamangu the next day was on bed Sick....

Back to the Topic..... Mzazi anaumia.... mtoto anaumia, inahitaji busara ya juu saana upande wa wazazi kuweza pass thru such experiences... and thank GOD! They supported me thou kwa kinyongo.... I can not imagine ya kugundua kua ana HIV/AIDs... I have a daughter na the imagination is killing me!

Pole Asha, pole wazazi wa Asha na pole sana kwa early pregnancies... ni kitu kigumu sana

Lakini in many cases hatutakiwi kulaumu yoyote anayepata early pregnancy au anayempa binti pregnancy unless awe ni mtu mzima au aliyeoa

What we need in kuanza kuandaa watoto kuwa vijana as early as possible....

I remember my dad siku ya kwanza anazungumzia elimu ya rika nilikua nakwenda A level sijui chochote lakini he did his job well, and it remains with me all my life, kiasi kwamba naweza nikawa mtekelezaji mbaya, lakini bado ni mwalimu mzuri kwa vijana

 

[AshaDii]

Pole Asha, pole wazazi wa Asha na pole sana kwa early pregnancies... ni kitu kigumu sana

Lakini in many cases hatutakiwi kulaumu yoyote anayepata early pregnancy au anayempa binti pregnancy unless awe ni mtu mzima au aliyeoa

What we need in kuanza kuandaa watoto kuwa vijana as early as possible....

I remember my dad siku ya kwanza anazungumzia elimu ya rika nilikua nakwenda A level sijui chochote lakini he did his job well, and it remains with me all my life, kiasi kwamba naweza nikawa mtekelezaji mbaya, lakini bado ni mwalimu mzuri kwa vijana

Thanks pal... Namshukuru Mungu tulipita hio phase salama... ilikua ni ngumu but we did it...
Nimependa in blue for you have HIT home, na babako ni mfano wa kuigwa... Ni wazazi wachache
mno ambao hukumbuka kukaa na wanao na kuwapa elimu ya ujana.... Kweli we have to change...

 

[Gaga]

Thanks pal... Namshukuru Mungu tulipita hio phase salama... ilikua ni ngumu but we did it...
Nimependa in blue for you have HIT home, na babako ni mfano wa kuigwa... Ni wazazi wachache
mno ambao hukumbuka kukaa na wanao na kuwapa elimu ya ujana.... Kweli we have to change...

Kila mzazi nahisi lazima astuke sana sana ila wakijajua kwamba hakuna watakaloweza fanya inabidi watulize
mzuka na kuangalia sasa kinachofata,pole na hongera sana, maana machungu yanayoishia kwenye faraja
huwa yana nafuu na raha sana

 

[Mbu]

Mkuu Mbu, ingawa ww ni adui wa watu kwa kusababisha maradhi, but kwa leo itabidi nisipulize RUNGU Spray ili tuijadili hii kitu..lolz.
Nimesoma comments zote, kwa kweli kuna kitu kipya ambacho nimekipata.
Ningependa kujitolea mfano mimi. Nina rafiki wa kike ambaye kiumri nimempita 5 years, yeye atakuwa 19 Dec. Yeye yupo form six kwa now na mimi nipo chuo last year. Siku moja aliniambia kuwa one time aliporudi likizo wakiwa wametoka na mama yake (Siyo wa kumzaa) katika hali ya urafiki akamuuliza mambo ya mahusiano. Mama mtu akamuomba awe huru na muwazi, asiogope chochote maana linawezatokea la kutokea akajiweka katika wakati mgumu. Kwa jinsi mama'ke alivyoongea binti akajikuta anamwambia A-Z kuhusu uhusiano wetu. Mama akamuuliza binti yake kama anauhakika kuwa nampenda yeye binti na vice versa, akamuhakikishia kuwa anaamini tunapendana. Basi mama akaomba anifahamu, ndipo one day akanicall nikaongea naye vizuri tu, akawa anaongea na mimi ka mwanaye( Kwa kweli I felt gud) Last june nilipokuwa likizo mama huyo alinikaribisha nyumbani kwao. Kwasasa nafahamiana hata na kaka wa binti na baadhi ya ndugu (Sijui baba yake, Mungu apishie mbali asiwe Asprin, nisijefanywa ndafu maana kwa family kuna mabinti wawili tu..lolz). Tumechange phone numbers with her mother and brother na tunawasiliana sometimes. Kwa sasa najihisi nipo huru zaidi na nipo more care with my GF maana sitaki kuharibu trust niliyopewa.
I think one day I'd love to live open wazi with my kids.
Nawakilisha bandugu.

mbimbinho umetoa ushuhuda muafaka sana aisee,....hongera sana kaka...
familia ya huyo binti ni waelewa, nawe usijekuwaangusha tafadhali...mmejiwekea msingi mzuri sana,
big up...

Pole Asha, pole wazazi wa Asha na pole sana kwa early pregnancies... ni kitu kigumu sana

Lakini in many cases hatutakiwi kulaumu yoyote anayepata early pregnancy au anayempa binti pregnancy unless awe ni mtu mzima au aliyeoa

What we need in kuanza kuandaa watoto kuwa vijana as early as possible....

I remember my dad siku ya kwanza anazungumzia elimu ya rika nilikua nakwenda A level sijui chochote lakini he did his job well, and it remains with me all my life, kiasi kwamba naweza nikawa mtekelezaji mbaya, lakini bado ni mwalimu mzuri kwa vijana

...kama ashadii, namimi nimependezwa sana na hiyo mabuluu...kwakuwa kwenye red pananigusa utosini!
when i was 20yrs old, my girlfriend got pregnant...nikamkatalia katakata kuitoa...the rest is history...
leo hii nikikaa na kijana wangu, ambaye sasa ana 20yrs,...najipa hongera kwa maamuzi magumu
niliyoyafanya wakati ule...

...bahati nzuri wazazi wangu walikuwa ni waelewa, wakatusaidia mpaka binti akazaa salama na maisha yakaendelea.
kimbembe ni sasa mbu mie ambaye kwa speed ya vijana wangu, naona hala hala tu historia isije kujirudia halafu nikaitwa babu hata 45 sijafikisha. Hizo lectures za uzazi wa mpango, marafiki, heartbreaks nk...aaah, tunakaa chini na kuyaongea kama mtu na kaka yao, na haya ma cerelac yaliyowakuza, hata nikiongozana nao naonekana ni wadogo zangu tu...

shukran sana mtm, mbimbinho, gaga na hususan ashadii....

 

[Gaga]

mbimbinho umetoa ushuhuda muafaka sana aisee,....hongera sana kaka...
familia ya huyo binti ni waelewa, nawe usijekuwaangusha tafadhali...mmejiwekea msingi mzuri sana,
big up...



...kama ashadii, namimi nimependezwa sana na hiyo mabuluu...kwakuwa kwenye red pananigusa utosini!
when i was 20yrs old, my girlfriend got pregnant...nikamkatalia katakata kuitoa...the rest is history...
leo hii nikikaa na kijana wangu, ambaye sasa ana 20yrs,...najipa hongera kwa maamuzi magumu
niliyoyafanya wakati ule...

...bahati nzuri wazazi wangu walikuwa ni waelewa, wakatusaidia mpaka binti akazaa salama na maisha yakaendelea.
kimbembe ni sasa mbu mie ambaye kwa speed ya vijana wangu, naona hala hala tu historia isije kujirudia halafu nikaitwa babu hata 45 sijafikisha. Hizo lectures za uzazi wa mpango, marafiki, heartbreaks nk...aaah, tunakaa chini na kuyaongea kama mtu na kaka yao, na haya ma cerelac yaliyowakuza, hata nikiongozana nao naonekana ni wadogo zangu tu...

shukran sana mtm, mbimbinho, gaga na hususan ashadii....

Mkuu mbu kumbe umegonga nyundo za kutosha,hongera sana aisee kwa kuwa na kijana mkubwa namna hiyo,kwa elimu za sasa hivi atakuwa chuo sasa hv maybe,tusiache tu kuwakumbusha tulikotoka na maadili ya kiafrika, mie pia niliwahi sana at 19 nilipata boy alifariki miezi sita badae, sipati picha angekuwepo saa hizi na hawa wadogo zake